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I am sitting here in my house, at my work desk, and typing an e-mail to Ella. I hear the click, click, click sound of the keyboard. I type and delete, type and delete. My mind is busy gathering the right thoughts.
Ella’s voyage to wellness was protracted. It took her nearly two years to recover fully from Anorexia Nervosa. It wasn’t an easy journey as she’d written in her e-mails. She wasn’t comfortable being put on a 5000 calorie diet as part of her treatment.
Ella had to wage a constant battle against herself. She had to learn NOT to judge herself too harshly.
Her demons haunted her once in a while. Her critical voice told her, off and on, that she looked ugly and obese. But she had finally learnt to recognise, quell and conquer those demons.
Her struggle against Anorexia was met with many ups and downs, a little success and then relapse. Whenever things became hopeless, she said she would read my letters for comfort. She claimed to find her true self in my words. I was so touched.
But that is the power of true love, isn’t it?
When Ella started gaining weight, she started feeling better. Sometimes she felt she had become so fat that she was going to explode. She acknowledged those feelings on Skype with me and I succeeded in persuading her NOT to act on them.
Who doesn’t have self-doubts after all? I was happy that she was confident enough to face me on Skype (it took her six months to do that). And that I could be her virtual buddy every weekend.
I managed to get a job here in Delhi. My life too has been through many ups and downs. Happy and depressing moments. Clear and stormy days. But I too had a gift from Ella—her lovely diary. And when that didn’t help, her smiling presence on Skype would lift up my spirits.
Whenever I opened the diary, I would see her through her beautiful hand-writing in those yellow pages. That way she was always with me. The pages still smelled of her perfume and it reminded me of all my talks and walks with her, each and every day of my life.
Whenever I felt lonely and depressed, I would read her entries. Her feelings told me that I wasn’t alone and that having self-doubts was natural and normal.
We gave each other the most valuable gift—of life. Gift that was far more valuable than an expensive shirt, tie, ring or a watch.
The power of words.
And the power of everlasting love.
That very same love that had once saved my cousin Nisha from the jaws of death.
Ella said that she has completed her graduation and is now officially a professional violinist. She has also been formally discharged from the eating disorder centre.
And guess what—she is planning to visit India soon!
It is said that a complete recovery from Anorexia Nervosa is not possible.
But Ella says she now laughs a lot. She works for a charity in the summers. She still loves being with nature, writing and playing music.
She sent me a few pictures of her via e-mail. Her face still radiates love. Her blonde hair still glows. She looks so youthful. I had never seen her look so pretty.
Ella said that she eats small meals throughout the day and maintains a healthy weight. And now she doesn’t let even her step-dad hurt her!
In Ella’s words, she’s made a 150% improvement from where she was when she was admitted to the Hampstead Hospital.
My cousin Nisha was right. Love is powerful. When a person feels loved, she also wants to live. When she had said it, I thought it was a fairy tale.
I never believed that I would experience such a magic of love in my life time.
Guess what—I was wrong.
And I’m so happy about being proven wrong.
