To: Jonas Zebila
From: Abi Zebila
Subject: Total disaster!!!!!
Wednesday, 24 June 2015
Well, that went well, NOT!
I set up a meeting with Clemency using Declan as bait through her job and she completely freaked out and ran away when she saw Mummy.
I actually felt sorry for Mummy. When I told her I’d arranged a meeting, she looked so happy and terrified at the same time. She didn’t say much on the way there, and when she sat in front of Clemency for the first time the look on her face reminded me of how I felt the first time I saw Lily when I gave birth to her. I was completely freaked out. I loved her, don’t get me wrong, and I thought my heart was going to explode because I had such a fierce need to hold her, but I was also really shocked. I kept blinking at her, wondering if she was real and if she had really come out of my body and if she was really something to do with me. Mummy was looking at Clemency just like that.
Mummy was devastated when Clemency left and I was gutted, too.
This is all so messy and horrible when they always show you on the telly people just getting hugged and being happy. This is all so big and out of hand, I wish, wish, wish I’d never done as Mrs Lehtinen asked and gone to check on Clemency. Then I’d never have known and none of us would be feeling this bad.
I’d never know, though, what hypocrites Mummy and Daddy are. There, I said it. You’ve always said they were, but I wouldn’t accept it because they’re Mummy and Daddy and we’re supposed to do what they say and believe them about everything.
On the way home Mummy didn’t talk much at all. She stared out of the taxi window, then as we pulled up outside she said, ‘I have to tell your father.’ She said it like he was going to blame her or something.
‘What about Gran?’ I said, because sometimes I don’t know when to leave well enough alone, do I?
Mummy breathed out slowly and angrily. ‘Yes, her too.’
I can hear voices downstairs – they’re quite loud but not loud enough for me to be able to make out what they’re saying so I’m guessing Mummy’s told Daddy and Gran. I wonder how they’ll take it? Thankfully, Lily is staying over at Declan’s so she won’t witness any shouting.
What do you think I should do now? Do you think I should leave Clemency alone or get back in touch? What if I ask her to do a DNA test with me so we can see if we are related? Because it could still all be a huge coincidence. And if it is, that means she can go back to her life and Mummy and Daddy will realise they need to be honest with us in future if they want to avoid things like this happening.
What if she’s not the only one? I keep thinking about that possibility. What if there are more children they had adopted who are going to turn up one day?
I think a DNA test is probably the best way forward and then we’ll all know where we stand.
Love,
Abi
xx