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Abi

To: Jonas Zebila

From: Abi Zebila

Subject: Sod this for a game of soldiers

Monday, 20 July 2015

Nothing new here, really: Clemency is still freezing me out despite the bullshit ‘how are you’ text every day. Mummy and Daddy are still not talking about anything beyond everyday surface stuff. Ivor has, thankfully, stopped his insane theories since I roared at him that we’d done a DNA test and he could see the results if he wanted. I’ve never shouted at him like that before, but he caught me at a particularly hormonal moment.

Lily-Rose continues to be the light of my life. I’m attaching a scan of the picture she drew of you and Meredith the other day. She just suddenly drew it without any prompting from me. I think knowing about Clemency has reminded her of you and Meredith. I’m not sure about your hair being so big, but I can see a likeness, can’t you? Oh, wait, you won’t be replying so you can’t tell me if you see a resemblance or not. Yes, you’re pissing me off as well.

All this is not helped by how bad Gran is right now. She seemed to rally for a couple of weeks, she seemed to have a new purpose, but now she’s sliding again. It’s so distressing, especially as there’s no one who understands. She’s alienated everyone and even now, she can turn on you so suddenly, be so vicious, everyone is just cautious around her and I can’t explain how scared I am about the thought of her not being here any more.

Declan has had his monthly meltdown, asking why we won’t get married. I couldn’t even be bothered to reply. I’m feeling low, J, really low.

Abi

xxxxx