CHAPTER 3
The Best Stress-Relief Possible
Sorrow looks back. Worry looks around. Faith looks up.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
In preparation for this book, I knew it was important to write not only about the causes but also about the cures for stress. If we don’t understand the cures for stress, knowing the causes isn’t very helpful—it’s just discouraging. In this chapter I want to talk about a foundational cure that is highly effective because it is a preventative measure. This can stop stress in your life before it ever gets a foothold.
The quickest way to beat any problem is to be aware the problem exists, know the answer, and implement the solution before the problem gets out of hand. If you can prevent the crisis before it begins, life is much easier and more enjoyable. Have you noticed this to be true?
Let me give you some examples:
• It’s easier—and more effective—to teach good behaviors to young children than having to correct wrong behaviors when they’re older.
• It’s easier—and more effective—to maintain a healthy weight with proper diet and exercise than going on a crash diet the week before you need to fit into that special outfit.
• It’s easier—and more effective—to be alert in class and study a little each day than it is to stay up all night cramming for tomorrow’s exam.
In other words, if you know the solution ahead of time, you can act wisely rather than react hurriedly. This is a key to victory in every area of your life… and that includes overcoming stress. In this chapter, I want to help you understand the answer ahead of time so you never again have to react to a stressful situation with a feeling of panic and fear.
But first, let’s look a little more closely at what stress is and how it affects your body. Stress in its most basic form is a type of panic. It is a jolt to our nervous system that results from a perceived danger. Every stressful situation we face brought on by our mind or emotions has the same effect on our bodies as a real crisis situation.
I’ve read several descriptions of what happens to the body when it reacts to a stressful situation. The stressor, whatever it may be, causes an impulse to be sent to the brain. The brain combines emotions with reasoning. With this process, the person reacting to the stressor analyzes the situation. If he perceives it as threatening, his body engages the “fight or flight” response.
The nervous system responds in three ways. First, it directly stimulates certain body systems—the heart, muscles, and respiratory system—with electrical impulses to cause a quick increase in heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, and respiration.
Secondly, it signals the adrenal medulla, a part of the adrenal gland, to release the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline, which alert and prepare the body to take action. This reaction begins a half-minute after the first, but lasts ten times as long.
And third, the nervous system stimulates the hypothalamus in the brain to release a chemical that stimulates the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland releases a hormone that causes the adrenal glands to continue releasing adrenaline and noradrenaline and to begin releasing cortisol and corticosterone, which affect metabolism, including the increase of glucose production. This third, prolonged reaction helps maintain the energy needed to respond in a threatening situation. Nearly every system of the body is involved, some more intently than others, in the response to the stressor.
Every time we become excited, stimulated, or upset, even though we may not realize it, our entire system is gearing up for either fight or flight to defend itself from the perceived threatening or dangerous situation.1
Then when we calm back down, our body comes out of that emergency state and begins functioning normally, in the way it is supposed to function most of the time. The next time we face a stressful situation or become upset, the whole process starts over. And so it goes, up and down according to our changing mental and emotional states. This is what our bodies go through when we face a perceived crisis. As you can imagine, the effects of excessive stressing and unstressing can have long-lasting and far-reaching consequences.
So stress, in its most basic form, is a reaction—it’s a panic. It is your body’s way of saying, “Something bad has happened; I have to fight or flee.” In times of real danger, this physical and emotional reaction can be a benefit, but most of the things we stress about aren’t real dangers—they’re perceived dangers. What if I lose my job? I wonder if they like me? How am I going to get all this done? These anxieties and hundreds of others just like them trigger your “fight or flight” reflex in an unhealthy, harmful way.
Now that you know what stress is doing to your body, let’s look at how to stop it dead in its tracks before it can start this damaging cycle.
Preventative Medicine
Confidence is an essential key to preventing stress. When you live with confidence, stress has little to no effect on you. But I’m not talking about self-confidence. Self-confidence may be helpful to have, but even the most self-confident person should know his or her limitations. The kind of confidence I am talking about is confidence in God. It insulates us from the damaging effects of stress. God wants us to have confidence (faith and trust) that He is working on our behalf.
In the last chapter, we talked about the decision to give God control of your life. That is so important, because now that you know God is in control, you no longer have to worry about the pressures and anxieties others worry about. You can be confident even in the face of the most stressful situations.
Imagine if you were playing a neighborhood basketball game and the best player in the NBA was the captain of your team. Would you be worried about the outcome? Of course not! You would have the confidence to challenge all takers. Or what if you were singing a duet at the local talent show and you just happened to have the world’s most famous vocalist as your friend and duet partner. Would you freak out before you went onstage? Of course not! You would sing with confidence, knowing that her talent would carry you both through. This is how it is with God. When you have a confident assurance that God is on your side—that He is working on your behalf—you can shrug off the things that used to make you cower in fear.
This is exactly what King Jehoshaphat learned to do. The Bible tells us his story in 2 Chronicles 20. At the beginning of the chapter we see that three armies had joined together to attack Jehoshaphat and the people of Judah. The Bible says it was “a great multitude” of soldiers that were coming against them. As you can imagine, this was a very stressful situation. Though Jehoshaphat was initially afraid, he didn’t panic. Instead, the king went to God in prayer because he knew God was in control. The odds were certainly against Jehoshaphat and his army, but when God is on your side, the odds don’t matter. God responded to Jehoshaphat by saying:
You shall not need to fight in this battle; take your positions, stand still, and see the deliverance of the Lord [Who is] with you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Fear not nor be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.
2 Chronicles 20:17 (emphasis added)
Before the battle began, before a single sword was drawn or arrow was shot, God assured Judah and King Jehoshaphat that the battle would be won… because God was fighting for them! He was doing the work on their behalf.
This is the same thing that God is saying to you today. There is no need to worry about or be afraid of any perceived lack, struggle, or uncertainty that you may face; God is on your side! He is going to provide everything you need. He is going to fight the battle for you. All you have to do is “take your position, stand still, and see the deliverance of the Lord [Who is] with you.”
It’s Already Taken Care Of
Have you ever had someone come up to you and say, “I need to tell you about a problem, but before I tell you, I want you to know you don’t have to worry; I’ve already taken care of it”? As the leader of a worldwide ministry organization, I’ve had this happen quite a few times—I was informed about a problem but assured it had been taken care of and there was nothing I needed to worry about.
This is the kind of confidence we can have with God. There are going to be stressful events and situations in our daily lives, but we can have an internal assurance that God has already taken care of it. He has already gone before us and prepared the way that we might walk in it (Ephesians 2:10). We might not see the solution right away, we might not know exactly how God is going to fix the problem, but we can be assured that He will… because that is the promise He gives us in His Word. Our part is to trust God and His part is to provide the answer we need!
Here are just a few of God’s promises to build your confidence:
• It is the Lord Who goes before you; He will [march] with you; He will not fail you or let you go or forsake you; [let there be no cowardice or flinching, but] fear not, neither become broken [in spirit—depressed, dismayed, and unnerved with alarm]. (Deuteronomy 31:8; emphasis added)
• Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you… yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice. (Isaiah 41:10; emphasis added)
• And my God will liberally supply (fill to the full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19; emphasis added)
These promises (and many others throughout the Word of God) are the key to stopping stress before it ever begins. When a problem arises, before hitting the panic button and initiating the physical and emotional roller coaster of stress, remember that God has promised that He is going before you and He is going to make a way for you—even when there seems to be no way (Isaiah 43:19). Confidence that God is always working in your life is preventative medicine. If you have this confidence, you have implemented a solution before you even get the problem of stress.
Let’s look at this practically:
Let’s say Bill receives a call from his doctor’s office saying they’d like him to come back in and have some additional tests next Friday. Bill has a choice to make. He can spend the next week in a panic, miserable and afraid, wondering what might be wrong, or Bill can defeat stress before it even begins. He can say, “Lord, I’m not going to assume the worst. I know You are working on my behalf. I thank You for my health, and with Your help, I’m going to choose peace over stress this week.” That doesn’t mean that Bill never feels concerned or anxious; it just means he’s confident that God is working on his behalf and that no matter what the outcome of the tests are, God is in control.
Sally has a major decision to make. Now that the kids are old enough to go to school, she’s debating between reentering the workforce and staying at home. Both choices have pros and cons, but she just doesn’t know which decision to make, and she is starting to lose sleep over it. In this situation, stress is already creeping in. Sally is losing her joy because she is afraid she’ll make the wrong decision. This is a perfect opportunity for Sally to regain her confidence in the Lord. If Sally will remember that God is in control and He is working on her behalf and on the behalf of her family, she’ll make her decision without fear. Rather than being afraid she’ll make the “wrong choice,” she’ll know God will provide no matter what—He has already taken care of it. Now Sally can relax and confidently go with the decision that brings her the most peace. She can step out in faith and trust that if her decision is right, God will open all the right doors that need to be opened.
Let’s talk about Jennifer…
Jennifer recently enrolled in a continuing education program at her local community college in order to get the high school diploma she never earned as a teenager. It took a lot of courage for Jennifer to go back to school ten years later, but now she is second-guessing herself. She’s starting to worry about spending the money for the classes and wondering if she’s even capable of passing. Jennifer has a choice to make. She can worry or she can stand in confidence, knowing that God will provide everything she needs. This is a chance for Jennifer to defeat stress before it even begins. She can pray, “God, I know I can do all things in Your strength, and I know that if I have the right attitude, this is going to be a great experience.” If Jennifer will trust that God has already taken care of it, she’ll move forward confidently and meet her goals.
Okay, I’ve mentioned Bill, Sally, and Jennifer, but what about you? What situation are you facing in life that is causing you to ride the roller coaster of stress? Whatever it is, I want to encourage you to change your thinking. Instead of reacting in a panic, wondering how you are ever going to make it through, you can choose to act in confidence. God fought the battle for King Jehoshaphat when the odds were against him, and God can do the same for you. Stand confidently, knowing that God has already taken care of it—whatever it may be. He is working on your behalf, and when He is on your side, there is no way you can lose. Remember: worrying is completely useless. It never provides any good benefits at all, but when you place your faith in God, it opens a door for Him to work!
The Confidence to Jump
In his book Holy Sweat, author Tim Hansel tells a story about hiking with his young son. While climbing some cliffs out in the country, Hansel heard a voice from above yell, “Hey, Dad! Catch me!” He turned around just in time to see his son, Zac, flying through the air, already having sprung from a rock high above.
Hansel dove to catch his son and they both went tumbling to the ground. Zac loved it! Exasperated, Hansel gasped, “Zac! Can you give me one good reason why you did that?” His young son replied with a quiet confidence, “Sure. Because you’re my dad.”2 It was that simple. Young Zac knew that his father was there to catch him.
I’ve met a lot of people who haven’t jumped in a long time. Rather than leap in confidence, springing toward the opportunities and challenges of life, they’re sitting still, frozen in fear. Worry, anxiety, and stress have been like anchors holding them down. With white knuckles and quivering voices, these people spend their days saying things like, “It might not work,” “What if I fail?” and “I’m just so nervous.”
But this doesn’t have to be you. You can be a person who defeats stress and has the experience of enjoying an exciting and adventurous life. It doesn’t matter how high the ledge or how treacherous the trail, you can take that leap for one reason—your Father is there to catch you. He’s been with you the whole time, and He has been working on your behalf. Don’t be worried or afraid. If God leads you to do something, jump with confidence and live a life that defeats stress before it even gets started.
Things to Remember:
Though we may not realize it, stress causes our entire system to gear up for either fight or flight to defend itself from a perceived danger.
A confidence that God is working in your life will keep you from panicking when faced with a stressful situation.
When God is on your side, there is no way you can lose.
The best way to defeat stress is refusing to push the panic button—confidence that God is with you will give you the strength to stay calm and at peace.
Whatever the “it” is… God has already taken care of it!
Did you know?
The stress hormone cortisol causes abdominal fat to accumulate, and it enlarges individual fat cells, resulting in what researchers call “diseased” fat.3