CHAPTER 13
Seeing Things Differently
Calmness is the cradle of power.
—J. G. Holland
A person’s perspective about a situation generally changes when they begin to see or understand something they hadn’t known before. A new vantage point often produces a new attitude:
• A fussy child in a movie theater might annoy you, but when you learn the little girl has special needs, your perspective changes… and you become more patient.
• You could be aggravated with the rude barista who is messing up your coffee, but when you’re told her husband filed for divorce earlier that morning, your perspective changes… and you take time to try to encourage her.
• You may be angry with your friend who hasn’t wanted to meet you for your usual breakfast and coffee in over two weeks, but when she explains she’s changed her diet because she’s training to run a marathon, you have new understanding.
As you can see, new information gives us a new perspective. And just like these examples, a new perspective is exactly what we need when dealing with stress. So, let me give you two thoughts to consider that will, hopefully, bring you to a new perspective:
Thought #1: The dictionary describes stress as “mental, emotional or physical tension; strain, distress.” I’d add to that: “feeling pressured or upset.” It’s a condition that most of us are all too familiar with. It’s a normal part of everyday life, and none of us can get through a day without being confronted by it in one way or another.
We live in a fast-paced world that places more demands on us with each passing year. People are hurrying everywhere, and they’re often rude and short-tempered. Many people are experiencing financial stress, marital stress, and the stress of raising children. There’s mental stress on the job and perhaps physical stress caused from overwork. Many times this stressful lifestyle causes health problems, only adding to the stress.
So, to recap Thought #1: Stress is everywhere, we all experience it, it can provoke us to behave unwisely, and it contributes to health problems. Now let’s consider Thought #2.
Thought #2: Stress is not unique to this generation, this culture, or even this time in history. Every culture group in history has dealt with stress—relationally, financially, mentally, and emotionally. The Word of God is full of stories about people who faced incredibly trying times. They fought wars, faced persecution, endured famines, and many other things.
As believers, this should cause us to look to the men and women in the Bible to see how they handled stress so we can learn from their example. Think about this…
How did Daniel face the lions without panicking and screaming out in terror?
How did Moses stand before Pharaoh without suffering an anxiety attack?
How could Ruth remain so calm when her husband died and she had nowhere to go?
How could Paul preach the Gospel in the face of tremendous opposition without being overcome with stress?
What I just described to you are some of the most stressful situations possible, but these men and women of the Bible were bold, confident, and never gave in to stress. I am sure they felt it, but they learned how to manage it.
So what is the difference between you and me, who regularly give in to the stress we see in Thought #1, and the men and women of the Bible, who confidently overcame stress in Thought #2?
Perspective! It’s all about perspective.
Our perspective, up to this point, has often been that we have to handle this stress on our own—we have to fix the problem; we have to find a way to remove those things that stress us. But this self-reliant perspective only makes things worse. Our bodies were created by God to withstand a certain amount of stress, but when we push ourselves beyond that limit, we begin to experience problems.
I personally know two pastors who had vibrant, growing ministries. They were anointed by God and were helping thousands of people find and grow in their relationship with God. But they pushed themselves too hard for too long, and both of these amazing men had complete physical and emotional breakdowns. One of them, although better, still has physical problems due to the long-term stress on his body. The other man has recovered but will need to take certain medications all of his life due to the damage caused by stress.
We might wonder how this could happen to these anointed men of God. They were working hard in ministry and their desire was to help people, but they pushed themselves too far.
Many people today are living in a perpetual state of overload—literally on the verge of collapse. A doctor once told me that I had pushed my personal accelerator to the floor and it was stuck there. When we continue stretching ourselves to the limit, like a rubber band, one day we snap.
But the men and women in the Bible we just talked about—Daniel, Moses, Ruth, Paul—they had a different perspective. They knew they couldn’t handle the situation before them in their own strength, so they depended on God. They looked to the Lord, trusting that He would give them the strength, courage, and wisdom they needed. They didn’t doubt God would come through for them, and it was this confidence (this perspective) that gave them the ability to step over stress as they began to walk out their destiny.
I was involved in a situation just this morning that I can share to show how looking at a problem in a different light can prevent stress. I was in the car with someone and they missed their exit on the highway, and that caused them to become disoriented and get lost for a short while. Obviously, this took time and the person driving got very upset that he had made the mistake. His emotional outburst caused even more confusion and he was obviously stressed out from the situation.
At one time in my life, I would have reacted exactly the way the driver did, but I felt no stress at all because I have learned that once we miss an exit or make a wrong turn, getting upset about it does no good at all. I also believe that all things work together for good if we trust God, and who knows, but perhaps we were saved from an accident through what we thought was a problem. The driver and I had two different perspectives on the situation. One opened the door for stress and the other closed the door to it.
In the World, but Not of the World
It is true that stress is all around us, but the good news is that, as Christians, although we may be in the world, according to John 17:14–16, we are not of the world. We don’t have to operate by the world’s system, reacting like the world. Our attitude and approach can be entirely different. The world responds to difficulties by being frustrated and upset, but Jesus said in John 14:27:
Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled] (emphasis added).
This verse indicates that we need a change of perspective. I’ve noticed that the right mind-set and the right attitude can completely turn a situation around. If I approach something in dread, I’m setting myself up for misery before I even begin because dread creates stress. But if I refuse to dread or have a negative outlook, I open the door for God to work supernaturally and help me. I can choose my own perspective.
Jesus didn’t promise that we’d never have to deal with stressful situations. In John 16:33, He said:
In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]
This verse teaches us that we don’t have to react to stress the way the world does. Because Jesus has deprived the world of its power to harm us, we should be able to approach the challenges we face in life with a new perspective—in a calm and confident manner.
Luke 10:19 says, “Behold! I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents and scorpions, and [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power that the enemy [possesses]; and nothing shall in any way harm you.” Here Jesus is telling us that He has equipped us to overcome the world’s ways. Even though we’ll be faced with challenging and stressful situations that won’t always be easy to handle, He assures us that nothing can defeat us if we handle things the right way—His way! We are the only ones who can make decisions for ourselves about how we will handle the situations that arise in our lives. Life is not likely to get any easier, but our approach to life can change and that will make it easier. One of my goals in life is to stay calm no matter what happens. I have not arrived, but I am pressing on!
One morning last week I was trying to make coffee in a new coffee machine my son bought me, and I poured the coffee beans into the grinder without having a part attached that needed to be. I had to dump the beans out, and in order to do so, I had to turn the pot upside down. This may not sound like a big deal, but this particular coffee machine is large and quite heavy. When I started to dump the beans, I failed to realize the reservoir was also filled with water and that came pouring out along with the beans—the end result was a huge mess! I said, “Wonderful,” and proceeded to clean it up. I was quite pleased when I had finished the cleanup and realized that I didn’t feel even one tiny bit of stress or frustration from the situation. I simply dealt with it! It is so refreshing to be able to deal with things like that now and not lose my peace and get stressed out.
The same freedom can be yours if you will begin to see things differently and start practicing holding your peace instead of exploding when stressful situations come up.
Let the Holy Spirit Be Your Guide
An important factor in enjoying a peaceful, stress-reduced life is learning to be obedient to the Lord. When you follow the Holy Spirit, He will always lead you into peace. Always remember that God will never lead you into stress, because He is the Prince of Peace. God is never going to stress us out and force us to do more than we can do; however, we often do this ourselves.
We need to be sure that we’re not overextending ourselves by trying to do too many things we want to do, whether it’s part of God’s plan for us or not. If we’re doing something God hasn’t approved, He’s under no obligation to give us energy to do it. I believe one of the major reasons many people are stressed and burned out is because they’re going their own way instead of following God’s plan. We need to follow the leading of the Spirit as to what we’re to be involved in and where we’re to expend our energy. We can learn to say yes when God says yes and no when He says no. When we’re obedient to His leading, we’ll be able to accomplish what He gives us to do and walk in peace.
Learn to recognize the symptoms of stress when they first show up in you, and instead of making excuses, ask God to help you deal with it properly. If that means not doing something you would like to do, then follow God’s peace and wisdom, and you will benefit by not having the draining effects of stress. I have learned a great deal in my journey with God, and one of the most important things is that God is always right!
Honestly, we aren’t really that capable of running our own lives and doing a good job. That’s why Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to lead, guide, and direct us. Romans 7:6 says we are to be led by the “prompting” of the Spirit. I can remember numerous times when I was tired and the Holy Spirit prompted me to rest, but I continued to push myself to go out or to have company. Then I ended up exhausted, instead of just being tired. As you know, exhausted people usually get grouchy and impatient. This often caused strife in our home, leading to even more stress. If I had been obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, the entire problem could have been avoided. Obedience is exalting Jesus above our own natural, selfish desires. Are you exhausted… or is Jesus exalted? I really believe obedience is the key to victorious, healthy, happy, and peaceful living.
Bend but Don’t Break
Another important lesson I’ve learned is to “bend so I will not break.” The Bible says, “Readily adjust yourself to [people, things] and… if possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:16–18). Before I made the Word of God a priority in my life and decided to live an obedient life, I had to have my own way; otherwise I got upset. I wasn’t adaptable. I wanted everyone else to adapt to me. Of course, that resulted in more strife and stress. I’ve now learned to bend. It’s not always easy on the flesh to give in and do things differently than I had planned, but it’s easier than being upset and miserable.
A prompting is a “knowing” down inside of you that lets you know what you should do. The prophet Elijah referred to it as a “still, small voice” (see 1 Kings 19:12). While you may not hear an audible voice, I believe you can sense God’s wisdom giving you direction in certain situations.
I remember one time when I’d been shopping for several hours and was getting very tired. I had only purchased about half of the items I intended to buy, so I kept pressing on. The prompting of the Spirit within me was telling me to stop and go home, but because I hadn’t accomplished my goal, I didn’t. Although the other things I intended to get weren’t immediate needs, I didn’t want to leave until I had accomplished the goal I had set for myself. As I pushed myself beyond the point of being tired, it became difficult for me to think clearly. I then began to become impatient with other people. Even after I finally went home, I was out of sorts, and it affected my time with my family.
If I had obeyed the prompting of the Spirit and gone home to rest and relieve the stress, I would have felt so much better, and the situation at home would’ve been much more pleasant. We can avoid many stressful situations simply by obeying the Holy Spirit’s prompting.
Burnout comes from physical and emotional exhaustion, especially as a result of long-term stress. When stress depletes our bodies, our immune systems become weak and sickness (even depression) can set in. Signs of burnout include extreme fatigue, headaches, insomnia, gastrointestinal problems, and tension. Other manifestations may also be extreme tension or an inability to relax—and when you go to the doctor he can’t find anything wrong. Emotional exhaustion (crying easily), anger, negativity, irritability, depression, cynicism, and bitterness about the blessings of others can also be part of burnout syndrome. Burnout causes you to feel “out of control” and no longer producing good fruit. Ignoring God’s laws causes burnout. You can’t overwork your mind, emotions, or body and not eventually pay the price.
I want to urge you to take some time at this point to honestly evaluate your life and how you feel most of the time. Whose pace are you moving at? Are you keeping the pace God has set for you or someone else’s? Are you stressed out from trying to keep up with everyone else? Are you living under the stress of competition and comparison? Are you a perfectionist with unrealistic goals? Do you carry a false sense of responsibility and burden yourself with problems that are not even yours? Or perhaps you are just addicted to constant activity and don’t even know how to stop. It seems that most of us really hate to admit that we just cannot do it all, but once we do, life gets much easier and manageable.
I believe we can live stress-free in a stressful world, but it’ll require some decisions—possibly radical ones. Allow God’s Spirit to lead you out of a stressful lifestyle and into one of peace and joy. Respect your body. Treat good health and feeling good as a valuable gift. Don’t waste the energy God has given you on stress. Save it for living and enjoying life. Here are some wise instructions from God’s Word to make the practice of peace a part of your everyday life:
First of all… Be still! Stop all the rushing around. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know… that I am God.” The Creator of the universe wants a word with you, but how can you hear Him if you’re always on the go? Learn to listen!
Second… Prepare your heart to receive from Him—to hear His voice on a regular basis. “Oh, that they had such a [mind and] heart in them always [reverently] to fear Me and keep all My commandments, that it might go well with them and with their children forever!” (Deuteronomy 5:29). Can you hear the earnestness in God’s voice as He makes that statement?
Finally… Acknowledge Him in everything you do. Make it a lifestyle to be identified with Jesus Christ and faithfully be a doer of the Word. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 KJV).
If you’ll make the choice to begin changing the way you see things, it’s amazing how quickly it will change your life. When you “live in the world but not of the world,” “let the Holy Spirit be your guide,” and “bend but don’t break,” you are setting yourself up to live with the strength and confidence we saw in those men and women of the Bible who refused to give in to stress.
We would be wise to follow the example of these biblical heroes and adopt their perspective. We sometimes get so focused on our daily problems that we lose sight of God’s divine purpose. Regardless of how difficult your boss is, how frustrating the leaky faucet is, how low the bank account sinks… God has a great plan for your life. The difficulty you are facing doesn’t change that. If you’ll take time each day to get a proper perspective and trust God’s plan for your life, the little things that try to bring stress into your life won’t seem so important anymore.
Things to Remember:
New information gives us a new perspective—and a new perspective is exactly what we need many times (especially when dealing with stress).
Stress is not unique to this generation, this culture, or even this time in history. Every culture group in history has dealt with stress.
The men and women in the Bible—like Daniel, Moses, Ruth, Paul—they had a different perspective. They knew they couldn’t handle the situation before them in their own strength, so they depended fully on God.
An important factor in enjoying a peaceful, stress-reduced life is learning to be obedient to the Lord. When you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, He will always lead you into peace. Remember… God is always right!
Because Jesus has deprived the world of its power to harm us, we should be able to approach the challenges we face in life with a new perspective—in a calm and confident manner.
If you’ll make the choice to begin seeing things from God’s viewpoint, it’s amazing how quickly it will change your life.
Did you know?
Just thirty minutes of walking per day can help boost mood and reduce stress levels.1