Gray light slowly illuminated Raina’s room. She stared up at the textured tiles of her ceiling. They appeared flat and drab in the shadow-less light, echoing her heart’s condition. Sleep continued to evade her. Two weeks had passed since she’d last seen Kevin. When they’d arrived home, he’d gone to shower as instructed, and she’d went to check messages. When dinner time arrived, she’d found his study and bedroom empty. How she missed the footman in green livery coming to collect him, she wasn’t sure, but she must have.
Normally she’d roll back over, wait for sleep to claim her again until Tabby arrived to dress her for the day. But anger had her hands fisting in her sheets. Fourteen days and not a word. Fourteen days of existence in a hollow routine she’d come to despise. Her reality had returned to life before Kevin. Had she meant so little to him? He couldn’t even say goodbye when Synintel called him away.
A tear slipped down her cheek. She blinked in shock and wiped it away as she threw the covers off. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she glanced out the window. The first rays of light crept over the horizon, turning the gray sky pink and velvety orange. No one would arrive for several hours to help her dress or begin her work. Her pillow and plush mattress held the same appeal as her desk.
Pushing tangled hair from her face, she rose, determined to get through the day without thinking about the man who seemed to have taken her heart when he left. While she wanted to be shocked at the revelation, a sigh was all she could muster. Since the moment he slipped her wedding band on her finger, she’d been lost to him. She didn’t realize how much until the precious gift of time had been given to them.
Now… she closed her eyes and forced breath in and out. Now she’d simply exist, knowing she was as alone in her heartbreak as she’d been in blossoming love.
Summer crept ever closer, the final shackles of ice and occasional snow flurries over the ocean would dissipate to nothing, leaving the waterways of the world north of the Northern Boundary wide open for trade and transportation. She’d have plenty of work to keep her occupied.
After brushing her teeth, she donned her fluffy robe over her long silk nightgown. With no one else in the house, padding around shoeless and in nightclothes wouldn’t matter. Then again, she’d have to care, which at the moment she didn’t. Wallowing in a shallow pool of self-pity felt too good to return to being the Master Guardianess Raiventon for the sake of her staff. Maybe after Tabby worked her magic, Raina would force herself into a sense of normalcy.
Downstairs, she slowly compelled her feet to move to her study. Hands shoved in the warm pockets of her robe, she stopped in the doorway and stared over the empty space. Weeks ago the idea of work was exciting, the possibility of a future of her making. Freedom of choice and decisions. All of her work had turned out to be an illusion, lies woven by a master. And her marriage, it seemed, had been the same. Whether the illusionist had been her father or her husband, she didn’t know.
An unwelcome moan sounded deep in her throat. She leaned against the doorframe and closed her eyes. No one could see her like this. Not even when her mother died had she been allowed to show the depth of her sorrow. Statuesque at her funeral, gracious at the reception following, no one had seen anything more than the perfect daughter of the Arch Guardianess. They could see no different now.
Raina rolled her body until her back rested along the frame. The edging dug into her spine. She ignored the discomfort, instead focusing on the warm light seeping over the edge of houses beyond, spilling through the large windows to brighten her work space. She closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath.
Today would be no different than yesterday, or the day before. She’d smile, radiate charm and finesse. If Synintel asked any one of her clients how his daughter appeared, they’d have nothing more to say than she was the epitome of his genes. While Kevin had never expected, or even demanded, that she be his lady wife, her sire required no less. And with Raiventon gone, she was once more solely accountable to the Arch Guardian.
Just because life sucks right now doesn’t mean I have an excuse to show weakness. She brushed away the fresh tears that slipped free, latching onto sharp bitterness. Her heart burned with anger and she sniffled away the sting of new tears trying to break free.
The faint click of a door closing made Raina gasp. She wiped her eyes and quickly headed for the stairs. Self-pity had been a bad idea after all. In such a hurry to get out of sight, she didn’t notice the looming figure heading straight for her. Raina collided with a wall of muscle. Strong hands grasped her upper arms to keep her from falling backward.
Blinking, Raina looked up and found herself staring into stormy gray eyes. Her first reaction was to throw her arms around him and show exactly how much she’d missed him. Her second, much stronger reaction, was to forget she was twenty-three years old and raised a lady.
She shoved him away. Hard.
Stunned, he didn’t react when she did it again with enough force to cause him to lose his balance. Since he hadn’t released his hold on her arms, she fell with him, sprawling across his chest and legs. The seething anger she’d been fostering since before she went to bed bubbled over. She straddled his stomach, her feet anchoring his thighs, her hands pushing his shoulders into the floor.
“Where have you been?” she demanded, punching his shoulder.
He opened his mouth to answer.
Raina cut him off, pushing the heel of her palms into the hollows of his shoulders. “Two weeks! I thought for sure my father called you off again, but here you are. So he didn’t. Which means you just left me alone, without a single word.” Hitting him again she shook her head in denial. “Why? Why would you do that?”
She grabbed his injured arm, looked it over, noticed not even scabs remained and glared at him. Hurt pierced her heart. She released the hold on his arm. “I was supposed to take care of you.”
Trembling in her frustration, she scrambled off him and resisted kicking at his ribs. She shrieked in an unladylike fashion, fisted her hands, and stormed up the stairs. She stopped at the landing, stalked down a few steps and pointed an accusing finger at him.
“You won’t let me be your wife for anything will you? Not in your bed, not to care for you, not even to bother to tell me where you disappeared to for two weeks.” Heat exploded in her cheeks and she clenched her hands until her nails bit into the tender flesh of her palms. “Or will you not be lying when you tell my father you’ve been unfaithful?”
Kevin rose slowly from the floor, straightening the maroon cotton button up shirt he wore. Before he could open his mouth, she waved a hand and again spoke before he was able.
“Don’t bother. If it wasn’t worth telling me two weeks ago, it’s not worth telling me now.”
She realized too late turning her back to him had been unwise. On the landing a strong arm snaked around her torso and his hand clamped around her mouth. With a swift jerk, she found herself pressed against his chest. Her head fell back to his shoulder. Dark and furious, his gray eyes met her equally upset stare.
“Well, aren’t you a fountain of emotion this morning,” he murmured.
The warmth of his breath teased the hair near her ear. Heat from his body surrounded her, making her all too aware of the strength at her back and holding her. Tense, she grabbed handfuls of her fluffy cashmere robe, refusing to give him the satisfaction of touching him. She’d already embarrassed herself enough by pinning him to the ground.
“Now it’s my turn to speak.”
While he didn’t release her, his hold loosened enough to make her feel held instead of hostage. His hand slid from her mouth, but his thumb began to trace the bottom of her lip, his gaze shifting. Transfixed by the simple, yet intimate motion, Raina continued to watch his handsome face, silent. The early morning light softened the angles of his cheeks and bearded jaw, made his storm-colored eyes seem almost black in their intensity.
“I was gone, princess, because Sean couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t become infected. I couldn’t risk you, not even if there was less than a one percent chance I contracted HRS.”
A shiver raced through her body as her anger fled. The hurt however, remained. His thumb traced from her lip to her chin and fluttered along her jaw. Her thoughts struggled between focusing on the trembling his touch drew deep in her belly, and the frustration she tried to continue to hold onto. “You could have told me.”
He shook his head. “No, you would have insisted I stay.”
“As if I could make you do anything.” Maintaining an even, butterfly wing pressure, his touch smoothed from her jaw to the hollow of her throat. Raina closed her eyes and resisted the urge to relax against his strong frame.
“My dear wife, you are the only one who could.”
Raina turned her face away and stared at the wall of the landing. She tried to make sense of his words, wanting to rail that if he spoke the truth, they’d not be sleeping in separate rooms. But they did. Clearly her ability wasn’t as strong as he claimed. “You could have written me a note, sent a message. Something. Anything. Two weeks, Kevin.”
“That’s the maximum time for the virus to go from dormant stage to final.” With a sigh, he loosened his arm.
Reluctant to be free of his strength and presence, Raina slowly stepped forward. When he didn’t join her on the landing, she turned to face him. Nearly level with him, her breath caught. She could kiss him with the same ease as she’d done the last time she’d been so bold. Only now she had a little more experience thanks to him. The compulsion was so strong she bit her lip and glanced down at her toes peeking out from under her robe.
“And you still could have written. The virus isn’t contagious on paper.”
“Very true, I could have.” His index finger pressed under her chin until she met his gaze. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to someone worrying about me.”
The apology and confession took her by surprise. “What about your team? Surely they care about your well-being.”
His lips quirked into a smile, making them all the more enticing. “Knowing I’m alive is usually enough.”
“It would be enough for me too,” she whispered. “They often know more about if you’re alive and well than I do.”
“Raina.”
Her name on his breath sent warmth spreading through her. She cupped his jaw and slid her fingers into the silken bristles of his beard. Giving into temptation, she pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. “Please don’t leave me without a word again, it’s all I ask. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
A door closing soundly echoed in from the back of the house. Chipper female voices floated from behind the walls. She wanted to say more, to confess what his absence had done to her heart, to her body. But soon they’d have an audience. With great effort, she let her hands fall and stepped away.
“I’m going to hold you to that, Master Guardian Raiventon.”
“I expect you to, princess.” Then a mischievous smile graced his all too handsome face. “Though if I get tackled to the floor by you when you’re that angry, I might be tempted to ruffle your feathers more often.”