Raina alternated between numb, terrified, and angry. She succumbed to temper tantrums, screaming at her unconscious husband to wake up. To come around. To tell her what was wrong. To help her fix it.
He hadn’t.
He couldn’t.
She’d given in to panic, screamed at nothing in the living area, rocked back and forth on the floor in helplessness, and finally fell back in defeat and stared at the ceiling.
Which was where she found herself, hours later, watching little dust motes dance in the shifting light of day. Tears had long since dried in salty streaks on her face. Kevin hadn’t so much as twitched. The gray of his skin hadn’t improved even with a fire burning in the wood stove. She knew without a doubt if she didn’t get him help, he would die. How long he had, she didn’t know, tried not to even think about. She didn’t even know what was wrong.
Taking a bracing breath, she slowly rose. “Okay, you are the daughter of an Arch Guardian. You’re smart, and a Gen-Heir Logistics Expert. Synintel didn’t hire the best personal tutors and see to your education only to find out you’d sat like a ninny while your husband died.
“What does Kevin need and how do you get it to him? That’s what you do. You get things places,” she said to herself, pointing at nothing. Her mind raced as she glanced into the room harboring the other half of her heart, a very sick half currently. “He needs help. He needs his Medical Science Officer. Get him Wintersfall.”
Raina blinked and then whispered, “Get him Wintersfall.” Excitement bubbled in her chest. Adrenaline rushed forward. On a braced squeal she shot to her feet. “Yes! Get him Wintersfall!”
She ran into the room she’d been occupying and pulled out every rolled sheet of paper on the shelves. The first two she unrolled were of areas she didn’t need. The third one had her slamming her hands on the table in triumph. “Yes, okay, here we go.”
With precision, she became orientated with the map’s layout, quickly deciphering what lines were roads, water, and rails. The map was at least twenty years old, but she doubted much had changed besides new settlement locations and the small numbers beneath, which recorded altitude and population. All the cities remained the same, with likely the same resources. Rail stations, radio dispatch locations, mail carriers, they were all clearly marked on the drawing.
Raina slid her hand along the route she’d need to take, making sure she charted the fastest way. She had to return before dark. A woman traveling alone in regulated Sziveria was dangerous. Traveling alone in the lawless land known as the Northern Boundary was incredibly risky. But she didn’t have much of a choice. She had to get a radio communication to Sean, hours ago… rather days ago if Kevin had been thinking clearly. They’d run out of time and she had no more to waste.
In Kevin’s room she found coins and took more than she hoped she’d need. She also grabbed a bracelet Tabby had packed, in case the fee for a transmission was trade only. Wrapping herself up in a long black cloak she’d found in the armoire, with an extra scarf around her head and neck, she left the house.
At the stables, she calmly led the Icekutian from his stall. Raina knew she didn’t have the strength to saddle Eadric. She managed to convince the horse to stand next to a large boulder so she could climb on his back. Thankfully he was as loyal to her as he was to his master and allowed her to mount without complaint.
“Okay Eadric, I know you love him as much as I do. Let’s go get him the help he needs.”
Four hours later, Raina found herself in a little community known as Rails End. She located the radio transmission center. Much to her relief, nobody paid her much attention. Deep in her mind, she knew she over-exaggerated her fear, but having been kidnapped and forced to watch her husband kill in cold blood had her thinking everyone was watching.
She tied up Eadric, taking a moment to make sure no one eyed the large horse. Two dark brown Icekutian’s ambled by and Raina breathed in relief. The cold-weather mounts weren’t uncommon up here. Made sense, since the average nightly temperature dropped into the teens for all but two months a year. Hitting well into the negatives in the winter.
The line inside the small, narrow building was short. She composed her message at a private table, looked up Haven City’s code and used a worn copy of the Directory of Ranked Guardians to find information on Sean. The Directory was outdated, almost fifteen years old. Dog-eared and torn pages showed its age. A Joel Blackbain was listed as the Primary Guardian Wintersfall. A man who only marginally resembled Sean was sketched in a rectangle frame. He had a cruel scowl etched on his face, and hard eyes. The image made a shiver race up her spine. She didn’t like him. Raina surmised the man must have been Sean’s brother. The name seemed somehow familiar, but she couldn’t quite place how. Since houses rarely changed from one heir to another, she wrote the address listed and hoped.
Then, because she couldn’t seem to stop herself, she flipped the pages until she found the Master Guardian Raiventon. The book would have been released either the year of or only a year or two after Kevin’s father had been named. A handsome man with a kind smile the artist managed to capture in his eyes stared off the page at her. Dustin L. Merrick. Kevin favored his father. The line moved forward and two people walked in. Raina wanted to tear the page out so she could read about him. She wondered if the family kept one of the old books at the house. She’d have to check. Snapping the book closed, she left the desk for another patron and took her place in line.
The operator, a skinny man with squinty dark eyes and tuffs of hair sticking out from under a hat took her message. He gave her a droll stare, snapped the paper open, and proceeded to transmit. Nervous, Raina glanced over her shoulder and smiled faintly at the person behind her. A little girl with short brown hair and big brown eyes waved from her mother’s arms. A dirty stuffed rabbit clutched tightly in her hand. A threadbare dress hung off her thin shoulders, the color having long faded to little more than gray.
The operator told her the fee, forcing her attention back to him. He slid the message back across the counter. Raina dug into her cloak pocket and produced the coin. Looking over her shoulder again, she asked the man if she could pay for the next transmission. He squinted at her, but nodded. She slid two extra coins across the counter. She nodded to the young woman holding her daughter, and offered the little girl a special smile and wave. The child delighted with a giggle and a shy turn into her mother’s chest.
Knowing she’d done what she’d set out to do, Raina returned to Eadric. She walked the horse out of town until she found a high enough boulder to use to climb atop him. By the time she returned to the house she was exhausted and starving. She took care of the Icekutian, made sure he was safe, fed and watered and warm for the night, and then stumbled up to the house.
The last of the sun’s rays faded beyond the endless horizon, a faint glow of light in an otherwise colorless sky. Standing at the door, she leaned against the frame and stared out over the water. White caps gently rolled toward the shore. The calm rush of waves breaking far below made her want to close her eyes and become lost in their lull.
Scared, she didn’t want to go back into the house. Didn’t want to know what she would find. Didn’t know how to handle whatever came next. A tear slid down her cheek. She took a deep breath and steeled herself.
Inside the silence felt like a tomb. She closed her eyes again and shook her head. No, not a tomb. Empty, cold, but not because of death. Closing the door, she called out to Kevin with a thread of hope that he’d answer. Nothing. Every muscle in her body protested her slow shuffle to his room.
Kevin lay exactly as she’d left him. Half sprawled on the bed, pale, unmoving. Raina approached with her gaze fixed on his chest. A slow, faint rise almost had her crying. Kicking off her shoes, she crawled onto the mattress near his feet. Using the last of her energy, she managed to remove his boots. On a sigh, she dragged her aching frame along his. She collapsed on the pillow and pressed her face to his bicep. The heat of his fever radiated through the thin fabric of the dust covered shirt.
Raina searched out his hand and then threaded her fingers through his. Sweat dampened his palm, his hand lied limp along hers. “Don’t you dare get any worse. Help is coming, warrior mine. Just hang on for me… just hang on.”
Help arrived before the first glow of dawn in the form of three big men and one accusing woman. Raina stepped aside and let the team enter. Katria’s icy stare, made worse by the vivid blue of her eyes, was the last crack in Raina’s carefully constructed façade. Exhausted, hungry, terrified and feeling ten times useless, Katria’s condemning glare had Raina breaking like glass.
“You can stop looking at me like that,” Raina snapped at the woman, slamming the door closed on the frigid air wafting into the house. “I didn’t do anything to him. It’s not my fault he kept whatever is wrong with him to himself.”
Katria turned, her long black hair arcing out behind her, blue eyes flashing. “And how does a wife not realize her husband is getting sick?”
Sean’s hand wrapped around Katria’s upper arm. He gently tugged her into his side. “That’s enough.”
Her beautiful face scrunched in displeasure. “She—”
“I said enough.” While low, Sean’s voice carried enough warning to make his wife’s mouth clench shut. Sean’s amber gaze shifted to Raina. “Where is he?”
Raina pointed at the sectioned off part of the large room. “Second door.”
Sean marched to Kevin’s room, and Raina took in the other two men who followed. Mason Dandridge wasn’t someone she was going to get used to anytime soon. With his long black hair, barely managed beard and piercing silver eyes, a shiver of unease raced up her spine as it had the first time she’d met him. His massive size alone left her weary. Mason reminded her of a bear. She wondered if he were handsome under all the fur. Jonathon Hunter in contrast was clean shaven, with neatly cropped dark brown hair. His size was similar to Kevin’s, more athletic than bulky, though shorter, probably closer to six feet, maybe an inch or two over. He also, she noted, had kind eyes, like he was used to having to comfort people.
Hugging her arms around her waist, she trailed behind them. Katria followed with a bag slung over her shoulder. In the room, Raina made sure she was completely out of the way. Jonathon and Mason pulled, cut and tore at Kevin’s clothing. Sean checked his eyes, pulse and breathing.
“Why all of you?” she found herself asking before she could stop.
Sean glanced over his shoulder before continuing. “When Katria was stabbed, it took both Kevin and I to hold her down. She weighs half what I do. If wh—”
His words were interrupted by Mason’s sharp curse. “Sean…”
The team leader’s jaw worked and Raina leaned over until she could see between Jonathon and Mason. An angry red gash rose from Kevin’s thigh, the flesh around it risen and enflamed. She covered her mouth on a gasp. Sean snapped his fingers to wake everyone out of their shock.
“Kat, hot water. Raina help her. Jonathon, find me a small table. Mason, get everything out of the med kit,” Sean delegated, and then clapped his hands when no one moved fast enough for him. “Now!”
Raina jumped. She rushed out of the room ahead of everyone else, leading the way for Katria to the kitchen. She took the short set of stairs down too fast, and tripped, catching herself on the wall before she face planted on the tile floor.
“The pots are here, I’ll fill one if you start the fire,” Raina said, grabbing a pot on the way to the sink.
Katria frowned, opening the hatch on the woodstove. “This is completely cold. When was the last time you ate?”
Raina blinked. Her hands trembled. From anxiety or the lack of food Katria brought to her attention she didn’t know. “Um, I’m not sure. The night before maybe?”
A match struck and flared, casting a brief warm glow around the spacious room. “You can’t cook?”
The pot filled and Raina quickly cut off the water. “No. I can’t do much of anything. I’m the daughter of an Arch Guardian. We don’t learn self-reliance, except where it comes to how people view us emotionally.”
Sadly, she knew she’d failed at keeping the bitterness from her voice when Katria gave her a contemplative look.
“You aren’t very emotionally stable right now.” Katria took the pot from her. She adjusted the stove to what Raina assumed was maximizing heat.
“Well, no. Kevin is very sick and there’s nothing I can do to help except fill a pot of water.” A hot tear streaked down her cheek and she brushed it away, hating the weakness the perfectly composed woman witnessed in her.
A loud bellow echoed through the house. Raina rushed up the stairs. Chaos reigned when she skidded into Kevin’s room. Naked, he thrashed, barely missing a punch at Mason, who laid across his chest. Jonathon attempted to hold down his legs. Sean was failing at calming him down.
“What happened?” Raina demanded, appalled, terrified and if she were honest, bordering on angry.
“I touched the cut,” Sean said between clenched teeth. “It’s so infected just brushing it brought him out of unconsciousness.”
Kevin shouted again when Sean prodded his leg once more, and shockingly managed to throw Mason clear off the bed. Sweating from fever, his eyes wild and shiny, Kevin lurched for Sean. Raina didn’t think about the consequences, she leapt onto the bed. She ran across the mattress, avoiding Mason’s attempt to scramble up off the floor using the blankets for leverage. Sliding in behind Kevin, she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and her thighs around his waist and pulled.
“Shh,” she whispered in his ear. Gently, she threaded her fingers into his hair. “You’re okay, it’s only Sean. They’re trying to help you. Calm down.”
Kevin stilled and the room froze when he did. His arms lifted, wrapping around her waist as his weight shifted back. Raina found herself pinned to the headboard, but she didn’t care. Continuing to stroke his damp hair, her head bent over his, she murmured encouraging words, nodding to Sean when their eyes locked. He returned the gesture and carefully went back to work. Kevin stiffened, but made no further effort to go on the attack.
“And she tames the wild beast,” Mason said on a huff, rising from the floor.
“For now.” Her heart beat wildly. She knew she’d taken a great risk, having no way of knowing if he’d respond to her. That he had made her hold tighten. He was hers, and whatever he needed to suffer less, she’d do.
Jonathon sat on Kevin’s calves at Sean’s order. “You weren’t kidding when you said he would fight, and win.”
“Nope. Even sick he’s quick, and strong. Learned that lesson the hard way,” Sean said with a grim frown.
Mason threw a sheet over Kevin’s waist and then held him down below Raina’s clasped ankles, controlling involuntary twitches. Moments later, Katria arrived with a pot of steaming water. Kevin remained silent. Except for the occasional tremor, or flexing of his fingers deep into her flesh, she’d have thought he passed out again. Every time he did, she knew he was hurting and she responded by calmly speaking to him, stroking his hair.
What seemed like hours, and painstaking work on Sean’s part, the exhausted MSO finally rose from a chair Katria had brought from the kitchen. “Okay, easy part is done. Infection is cleaned out and I’ve sewn him up. Now we have to fight the infection and get a handle on the fever.”
Raina’s arms burned from her long hold, as did her thighs. Had it not been completely inappropriate to let her legs relax at Kevin’s sides, she’d have uncrossed her ankles over an hour ago. Even though she figured no one would care, she couldn’t bring herself to. “How will you do that?”
“Lots of liquids, herbs and shots.” Sean accepted a long, thin syringe from Katria when she handed it to him. He held up the needle. “Twice a day for three days.”
Raina worked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Are you going to be here for three days, then?”
Sean carefully injected Kevin’s arm. “At least. We’ll stay until he’s awake and lucid.”
Usually someone else handled guest situations, Raina simply made sure everything was running smoothly and in order. She approved menus, what linens would be used in what rooms, and if anything social would happen, such as games or teas. At this house, not only couldn’t she cook, but she had no idea where anything was kept.
Sean must have noted her panic, for his hand covered her forearm with a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay. We’re used to doing things on our own. We can handle everything. I know how to cook, and it won’t be the first time we’ve had to sort out room situations.”
No, of course it wouldn’t be. Still… “You and Guardianess Wintersfall can take the room next door. There are rooms upstairs, I don’t know if any have beds though.”
“I’ll check,” Mason said.
Raina raised her hand. “Before you go, do you think you could help me?” She looked at Sean. “Is he still awake?”
Sean shook his head. Locks of light brown hair fell across his eyes, giving him a boyish look. “No, he passed out again about a half hour ago.”
Knowing Kevin’s returning to sleep was for the best didn’t stop a wave of disappointment from sweeping through her. She’d wanted to see him, speak to him face to face. Mason loomed over them and Raina hugged Kevin quickly before unfolding herself. With a grunt, Mason lifted Kevin’s unconscious torso and Sean had to help her climb off the bed. Her feet were numb and a terrible ache sliced through her back. With a braced hand on her hip, Sean kept her from hitting the floor.
“Easy, take a second to let the blood return to your legs.” Carefully he guided her to a chair and helped her sit. “Call if he wakes up.”
Raina nodded, and then wiggled her toes when little pinpricks danced along the soles of her feet. Soon she knew they’d feel like ants had erupted from the floor to consume her. Before they could all shuffle out, she managed to find her voice again.
“Thank you, all of you. I don’t know…” She couldn’t finish her words, tears burning behind her eyes.
The three men, so large they took up most of the available space in the narrow room, stared at her. Katria leaned against the dresser, arms crossed. Raina fidgeted with the wrinkled fabric of her skirt.
“He’s our brother. Thank you for having the mind to reach out for help,” Sean said simply. “When you can, feel free to get some rest. He’s going to be okay.”
Jonathon cast her a lopsided grin, his entire face changing from serious to rakish with the action. “I’m garnering so many favors from this group, I’ll be able to take over Haven City before the criminals can.”
Raina nodded again, trying for a reassuring smile as they filed out. Once they were gone, she didn’t bother to stop the onslaught of tears from spilling over her cheeks. Alone, she sat with an unconscious Kevin, who might very well be on the road to recovery, but still looked like death had touched him.
“I was there. The day he discovered his Gen-Heir ability,” Sean said with a nod to the open bedroom door, where Kevin still lay, sleeping off a fever that had broken halfway through the second night.
Raina straddled the wide bench seat of the massive table, the only furniture to sit on besides a piano bench, or rocking chairs in front of the fireplace. She couldn’t bear to keep Kevin from her sight, so she made sure she could see him through the open door.
Sean sipped on a cup of tea, having made one for both of them while they waited for Mason and Katria to return from their exploration of the beach. Jonathon had returned to Haven City once the need to possibly hold Kevin down again had passed.
“He wasn’t always aware of it?” she asked, wrapping her hands around the warm cup.
“No. He was going to school for music, believe it or not.”
Raina raised a brow. “Music? He’s never played anything, though he did tell me it’s what his mother once wished for him.”
Sean shrugged. “You’ll have to ask him more about it.”
“So, he discovered it during studies?”
Sean traced the rim of his mug, his handsome face tense. “Sort of. Kevin wasn’t one of us, and that caused him no end of grief at Acadamia.”
One of us. Raina didn’t have to ask what Sean meant. Privileged. The elite of society. High born. Choose a category to describe a child birthed into a ranked Guardianship family. No, Kevin had been born in a tiny city, outside the legal realm of Sziveria, to parents no one outside of New Hampton knew existed. At least, not at first.
Sean continued, “And, because he inherited his rank at sixteen, he was Master Guardian Raiventon while the rest of us were still family names that carried little weight like a ranking did. They despised him for it.”
“But the rank wasn’t his, still isn’t, not really.”
A heavy sigh escaped from him. “Well, it is. He hasn’t lost it, he just hasn’t been guaranteed it either. Same situation eleven years ago.”
Raina tried to imagine a young Kevin, recently orphaned, having to defend himself against the cruelty of a society that made sure he felt unwanted. Anger and humility over the world she’d been raised in, had been forced to obey, made her fingers clench tighter around the cup.
“A stupid group of boys thought they’d teach him a lesson. Show him how unworthy he was to be called Guardian of anything,” Sean said.
Raina met Sean’s amber eyes. “Bad mistake, I’m guessing?”
“Colossal mistake.” Sean smiled, a toothy predatory action that made his eyes almost glow. “He had five boys flat on their backs and writhing in pain before they even realized they’d been beat. Three months later, Kevin was pulled from the school and sent to training.”
“At sixteen?”
“His ability is that rare, and that important to refine. Like Katria’s, it requires years of fine training, which he’d missed out on because no one knew what he was capable of, including him, until he needed the reflexes.”
Another mystery Raina had been curious about. “And what exactly does Katria do?”
Sean raised a brow. “Kevin didn’t tell you?”
“He said Katria could.”
“Ah. She’s a marksman, like her father.”
Raina blinked. “She’s a sharpshooter?” An assassin.
“Yes,” Sean confirmed.
No wonder the woman wore an emotionless mask. She’d been trained to be free of excessive thought to keep herself calm and in constant control. Katria’s words the night she’d sequestered Raina in their house came rushing back.
A woman who is very capable of making sure you didn’t walk away.
“Oh,” was all Raina could manage to get out. Blinking, she stared at the tawny liquid in the cup. “Why did you tell me about Kevin?”
“Because I wanted to help you understand. I feel like maybe he doesn’t offer enough information for an educated decision. Not necessarily his fault. We deal in the shadows mostly.”
Raina shifted uncomfortably on the bench, wondering what Sean had noticed to make him feel he needed to give her a different perspective on her husband. “He’s been fairly open about how he feels about choices.”
“Yes,” Sean said softly. “And now you know why.”
Raina considered his words thoughtfully. Did she know? Tilting her head, she looked back into the room. Kevin’s sleeping form gently mounded beneath the blankets. He’d hardly stirred for the three days he’d recuperated. Not by conscious choice. His decidedly ill body had made sure he recovered whether he wanted to or not.
Realization dawned and her eyes widened. From the moment Dustin Merrick accepted the rank of Master Guardian Raiventon, the son likely had very little choice in anything. He’d do what was best for the emerging ranked house. Then, once his genetically inherited talent had materialized, and the FIO learned of the unsigned Interceptor quietly studying music at Academia, yet another choice had been taken from him. Enter her father years later with an either-or option, he’d had no other decision then either. At every step of his adult life, choices hadn’t been a luxury Kevin had been offered. He’d never do that to her.
He’d needed her to know what life with him would entail, but how could she possibly? Unaware of his true talent, ignorant of what life outside of princess status looked like, she’d only had her feelings for him to go by. Now she knew. And she also knew what he would be giving up as well. She’d be a fool if she thought Kevin was happy in her world. Merrick Cove, in tiny New Hampton, was home.
Suddenly she wanted to touch him. Wanted him to be in her space. “If you’ll excuse me.”
Sean inclined his head. “I think I’ll go find my wife.”
Raina didn’t wait for him to leave. She went straight into the room, climbed on the bed and sank onto the mattress at Kevin’s side. Fitting her body along his, she took his large hand in hers and brought it to her chest.
“You silly, silly man,” she whispered to him. “When you awake, you’re going to learn how much I love you and how very unconcerned I am about life outside of my father’s sphere of influence. I don’t want to live a life without you. And I won’t.”
Shifting onto her elbow, she leaned over him. Very gently she pressed a kiss to his lips, then whispered against them, “Choice made.”