I kept tea bags on hand at my home to offer to friends who came by. As for myself, I didn’t much care for the taste, unless it came laced heavily with Vermont’s legendary Lyon honey…or rum.
I was out of honey.
Those weren’t my initial thoughts when I regained consciousness and found myself sleeping on my couch instead of in my bed. Then I remembered what happened with Dorian, which brought back a lot of feelings I didn’t want to think about. Instead, I focused in on R.D.’s role in the prior night’s calamity. How he’d come to my rescue…and made me tea.
Two oversized mugs of it.
With lots of rum.
How, after tossing out my most recent boyfriend mistake, he’d kept me company, both of us sharing my little sofa, while I drank that tea. How he’d agreed to watch While You Were Sleeping, which I chose because…great movie! Even if I fell asleep around the time Sandra Bullock’s character arrived at her fake fiancé’s family home to celebrate Christmas.
My couch felt exceptionally warm and cozy and I had no plans to leave anytime soon. A little reposition and I felt…
“Ignore it,” a gruff male voice said from behind me.
R.D.
I couldn’t hold back my smile as I shifted my butt against him on purpose. “I think he likes me.”
Strong arms tightened around my chest and R.D. did a little reposition of his own, turning his hips away from me. “Ignore it,” he said again.
Not likely. “Can we both agree you’re too…big to ignore? I mean, not all the time. Just when…”
“You’re touching me?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe it’d be best if you stopped touching me.”
“Is that what you want?”
He took a while to answer. “It’s what I should want. It’s what you should want, too. No more sex with roommates, remember?”
My timing may have been a little premature on that decision. “I’m too comfortable to get up.” Not a lie. Also, I liked the effect I had on him. Made me feel powerful. In charge. “Can we…just…for a few more minutes?” Or hours worked, too.
“Sure.”
I relaxed into him. Managed to stay still for a few minutes. Unfortunately, all too soon, the need to move against him overpowered my inadequate self-control. I tried to disguise it as a shift to get more comfortable.
He was not fooled. “Nope.” A thrust of his hips sent me to the floor, where I landed with a thud on the plush rug beneath my coffee table.
“Hey!”
“Time to get up.” He pushed into a sitting position, slowly, stiffly, his face etched with pain.
“You okay?”
He stretched out his arms, fisting and un-fisting his hands. “Yup.”
He didn’t look okay. I stood. “Can I help?”
“No.” The look he flashed in my direction had me re-thinking any more offers of assistance.
Alrighty then. “I’m gonna take a quick shower. You up for bacon and eggs?” Did I even have bacon? Did I have eggs? Probably not, since I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone food shopping. “I can run to the store real quick.”
“Picked some up yesterday when I borrowed your van.”
To run some errands. “When you took the trash to the dump and had the tank for the barbeque grill filled?” Which I’d told him I would do and planned to do…eventually. “And stopped by the pet store?” To replenish my supply of special treats for Tulip. That I didn’t even realize were running low. And he’d refused to let me pay him back for what he’d spent.
He shrugged. “You were busy. I wasn’t. No big deal.”
It was a big deal to me. “Thank you.” For being a better man than all three of my last boyfriends combined.
“You’re welcome.”
I watched him stretching out the muscles in his legs.
He caught me. “Go shower.”
“That tone put fear into your fellow Marines?”
I caught a small smile before he looked down. “Yeah,” he said quietly. Then, looking up, he bellowed, “Now move out.”
The volume of the command, the deep timbre and absolute authority…got me hot. I resisted the urge to fan myself. Instead, I saluted. “Yes, sir.” And turned toward the bathroom. More because staying would lead to no good and a shower would cool me down than because he ordered me to.
“Don’t use all the hot water,” he called after me.
So he could take a long, hot shower with lots of soap suds for…lubrication? Good Lord.
“You can go first.” I detoured to my bedroom, closed and locked the door, then retrieved my vibrator.
First things first.
A short while later—okay, maybe like forty-five minutes later—I emerged from my bedroom freshly washed, mostly satisfied, and ready to start my day.
To find R.D. in my kitchen, assembling breakfast sandwiches.
“Hey!” I walked in and turned off the stove because the grease from the bacon was starting to smoke. “I said I would make you breakfast.”
“You were in the shower.”
I grabbed a few napkins and a squeeze bottle of ketchup. “You couldn’t wait?”
He handed me a plate complete with bacon, eggs and cheese on a hard roll and slices of cantaloupe. “Why does it matter who makes breakfast?”
I followed him into the family room and we both sat down on the couch. “It was supposed to be my way of saying thank you. For last night.” For coming to my rescue. For sitting with me until I could calm myself down.
Sandwich almost to his mouth, R.D. stopped just before taking a bite and turned his full attention to me. “You don’t have to thank me for doing the right thing. For doing what any man would have done.”
Not any man.
“Now I’ll have to think of something else.” I lifted the top bun and added a healthy squirt of ketchup.
“Lily.”
I looked up into his piercing blue eyes.
“I’m not sure what Griff told you about me or why I’m here.”
“Just that your mother died and you’d been in a serious motorcycle accident and were recovering.”
He set his sandwich back on his plate. “I have spent a good part of the last year alone, miserable, and popping pain pills like they were M&Ms.”
“You lost your mom. You were in a terrible accident.” Being miserable and taking frequent pain medication were totally justified.
He shook his head. “I don’t need you to make excuses for my destructive choices. My point in telling you this is, I’m here in Vermont to take back my life. The busier I am, the less time I have to obsess about wanting, needing, and missing the pain pills the doctor feels I should no longer be taking.” His hand on my knee, he added, “So, thank you for letting me do stuff around here. Helping you helps me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He pointed at my plate. “Now eat before that gets cold.”
“Yes, sir.” I took a big bite. Soooo good.
We ate in companionable silence. Silence as in, no television or music. Our meal was far from silent due to Tulip’s love of bacon and cheese, which she was not allowed to have. My girl liked to pretend the word “no” meant she needed to awoooooooo even louder to drown it out.
Even so, it was nice.
When we finished, I jumped up to clear the dishes. “I’ll clean the kitchen.”
He almost looked disappointed, so I added, “Maybe after your walk with Tulip, you could help me in the shop? I’ve got to get working on that river coffee table and the slab of wood I have in mind is too big for me to lift on my own.”
“Sure.”
I hid my smile as R.D. got Tulip ready for their daily exercise. He took his time choosing one of her outdoor ensembles, a purple hoodie embellished with a heart outlined in clear crystals on the back. Then he coordinated a matching leash, same as I’d done for him on their first excursion. He knelt down, so big yet so gentle as he spoke quietly, giving her instructions, which she actually seemed to listen to.
“We’ll be back,” he said as they left.
“No rush. I’ll be in the workshop. I’ve got plenty to do.” Luckily Tulip liked a nice long nap after her nice long walk.
About an hour and a half later, in the process of adhering the mailing labels onto the packages for the last of my completed orders, R.D. knocked then used his key to enter my shop.
“Hey.” My smile came automatically. “How’d it go?” He’d taken a shower and changed, wearing a snug pair of worn jeans that clung to his muscled thighs and a tight, gray, short-sleeve tee shirt that had Marines written in black across the chest.
“Had to carry her the last mile or so but she weighs the same as a bag of bread so no big deal.”
Tulip weighed a lot more than a bag of bread.
“What do you need me to lift?” He rubbed his hands together, looking eager to help.
“Back here.” I led him to the rear of the shop where I had various interesting pieces of wood leaning against the wall. Some maple burl and silver maple, as well as dark walnut and red oak. A mix of long-slab vertical cuts, and round horizontal cuts, all with live (barked) edges. I leaned two against my thigh and pointed to the one behind them. “Can you grab that one?”
He leaned in and picked it up like it weighed nothing. “Where am I going?”
“To the big work-table in the middle.”
After repositioning the other slabs, I joined him there. “The most labor-intensive part of making a river table is prepping the wood.” I examined the thick bark on the piece I’d chosen. “The first, tedious step is to de-bark.” I held up my wood chisel and a rubber mallet. “We want to preserve the natural flow of the live edge, but it needs to be smooth. After the bark is gone, I’ll go at it with the sander.”
Protective eyewear in place, I got to work chipping away the bark while R.D. watched. After a few minutes, he asked, “Want me to help on this side?”
He sounded genuinely interested and eager to assist.
“Sure.” I found him a spare set of plastic goggles, a chisel and another mallet, which, given his strength, he might not even need. “You want to place the tapered edge of the chisel against the wood to pry off the bark. Start with the outermost layer then carefully work your way down.” I demonstrated. “See the change in color? From dark bark to light wood?”
“Yeah.”
“You want to be careful that you don’t gouge.”
“Got it.”
“Show me.” I watched his careful technique. “Perfect. Just like that.”
No sooner did I return to my side, than my phone rang. Seeing the caller, I immediately picked up. “Hey, Melody.” Another bartender at Speakeasy who had become a good friend. “What’s up?”
“Girl, I don’t know if it’s something I ate or a stomach bug but I spent half the night with my head in the toilet. Felt a little better this morning and thought I could make it into work for the lunch shift, but I’m trying to get ready and all this moving around…” She swallowed so loud I heard it through the phone.
“No worries. I’ve got you covered.” I had to be there to work in the evening anyway. “I’m not nearly as exciting to watch as you are, but I get the job done,” I teased. The way she tossed bottles around, customers got a show and a drink for the same price.
“Stop. Everyone loves you and you know it.”
“Not everyone.”
“Well, I do. You’re the best. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.” I glanced at the time on my phone. “Take care of yourself. Let me know how you’re feeling tomorrow.”
“Will do.”
After disconnecting the call, I told R.D., “I’ve got to go in early to cover for Melody. If you drop me off, you could come back and hang out before our evening shift. Maybe feed and walk Tulip before you head in?” Like I had to tell him what Tulip needed. Because she couldn’t come into the shop, he spent more time with her than I did, lately. But she was my dog and I didn’t want to assume.
“Sure.”
If I had known that covering for Melody meant working with Kurt, I might not have been so quick to agree. Not really. I always did all that I could to help my friends. But time dragged and Kurt’s incessant talking had me literally counting the minutes until R.D. would arrive. I’d come to enjoy our time together behind the bar, his quiet efficiency.
When the door to the staff entrance opened around three o’clock, I looked in that direction to see R.D. Followed by…
“Lauren!” I ran to give our manager Matteo’s daughter a hug. “How is my favorite five-year-old in the whole world?” I picked her up and twirled us both around.
“You’re jingling,” she told me. When I put her down, she checked out my work shirt. “You’re wearing the one with the bells.”
I jumped up and down to make them jingle some more. “I wore it just for you.”
“How did you know I was coming?”
“I didn’t know it would be you. This morning I had a feeling someone very special was going to be visiting me today. So, I put on my most special work shirt.”
Matteo interrupted. “You okay to help me out for a few?” He surveyed the few customers spread out at tables and the four at the bar. “My babysitter canceled. Again.”
“I’m not a baby,” Lauren said with a stamp of her foot.
“No. You’re not.” Matteo went down on one knee and kissed his adorable daughter’s cheek. “Fifteen minutes. That’s all I need.”
Lauren didn’t believe him.
Neither did I.
In addition to being a single father, Matteo was a hard worker, who came into work way too often on his days off.
“No worries,” I told him. “It’s slow right now. And R.D. just got here.”
“Thanks.” Matteo turned, scanning the room again. Focusing in on one person in particular, he called out, “Kurt. The office. Now.”
Uh oh.
As soon as R.D. came out of the locker room, I said, “Cover for me? I need to get something real quick.”
“Sure.”
Holding Lauren’s hand, I led her to the doorway R.D. had just come through.
“Where are we going?”
“I made something for you. Was planning to give them to your dad the next time we worked together.” I’d been experimenting with some new resin ideas for children. After digging through the front pouch of my backpack, I retrieved two boxes and led Lauren back to the bar. Best not to leave R.D. on his own for too long.
After helping Lauren up onto a barstool right in front of the taps, I handed her the boxes, which she opened slowly.
“It’s so sparkly!” She held up the resin bookmark I’d made for her, multicolor glitter mixed with clear epoxy. I’d drilled a small hole at the top where I threaded through a bright purple ribbon with a silver heart charm.
“For when you read actual books.”
“Thank you, Lily!” She shook the other box. “What’s in this one?”
“Open it.” I couldn’t tell who was more excited, me or her.
“Belle!” She loved Beauty and the Beast. Which also happened to be a favorite of mine.
“Turn it over.” I leaned in to help her.
“Beast!” She examined the small pendant I’d made using a square mold filled with clear epoxy and colored prints of each character suspended inside.
“It’s a mood pendant,” I explained. “You see? The front has a picture of Belle,” beautiful in her yellow ballgown. “The back has Beast,” mid ferocious roar. “This piece on top swivels. Hold on here.” I demonstrated. “You feel how it locks into place?”
She moved the pendant slowly, carefully, just as I’d shown her. Then she nodded. “I feel it.”
“Now. When you’re feeling happy and friendly and fierce, because we both agree Belle is one fierce Disney princess, you put her picture forward.”
Lauren demonstrated.
“When you’re feeling grouchy and grumbly—”
“Like I want to roar,” Lauren finished for me.
“Exactly.” I laughed. “When you feel like roaring, you put Beast’s face forward to warn everyone to stay away. If they know what’s good for them.”
“I love it, Lily.” She climbed to stand on the barstool and gave me an awesome hug. Such a sweet girl.
An old, burly guy who’d come in with one of our regulars complained, “You can’t have a kid at the bar. It’s against the law.”
“It’s only for a few minutes,” I told him. Then I called out, “R.D.” Once I had his attention, I said, “Don’t serve this customer any alcohol.” I pointed to Lauren. “She’s not twenty-one yet.”
The guy shook his head and resumed drinking his beer.
“Noted.” R.D. bent down to take something out of a cooler. “How about this?” He held up a bright yellow juice box.
Ahh. He’d found my stash.
“Fruit punch! My favorite.”
Like any good bartender, he removed the straw from the plastic wrap and inserted it before handing it to the customer. “On the house, little lady,” he said with a smile.
His smiles were so rare, I felt a twinge of true joy every time I witnessed one of them.
As if on cue, Katie joined us. “Hey, Sweetness.” She rubbed Lauren’s head. “What’ll it be today?” She held up two snack-sized bags I kept on hand in the kitchen for Lauren’s visits.
“Both,” the little manipulator answered, tilting her head and giving Katie her sweetest smile.
Of course, Katie caved. “You didn’t get them from me.” With a wink, she left to greet a table of four who’d just been seated.
Without warning, Kurt stormed behind the bar, said something to R.D., then opened the cash register to…it looked like he was converting his tips into larger bills.
“Thank you,” Matteo said, his eyes on Kurt as he came to stand beside his daughter.
“Look!” Lauren said excitedly. “Lily made me a….” She looked at me. “What did you call it?”
“A mood pendant.”
“A mood pendant,” Lauren repeated. Then she demonstrated how it worked.
While she did that, Kurt stormed out of the bar.
“Everything okay?” I asked Matteo.
“I just found out about him changing the tap handles.”
Uh oh. “It wasn’t a big deal. It all got fixed. I didn’t want to bother you.”
“It’s not a bother, Lily. It’s my job to deal with that shi—” He glanced at Lauren before correcting himself. “Stuff. I can’t do that unless someone tells me.” He stared me down.
“Okay. Sorry.” Not really.
“I think Daddy should wear this on the Beast side today,” Lauren said, making me laugh.
“Come on, Cookie.” Matteo helped his daughter down from the stool.
“My snacks.” Lauren reached up to the bar.
Matteo collected her juice box and snack bags. “Thanks, Lily.”
“Any time.” I bent down to give Lauren a good-bye hug. “You know I love spending time with her.”
As I watched them leave, Katie came up to the bar. After giving her order to R.D. she said, “You are so good with that child. You’re going to make a fantastic mom one day.”
“Doubt it.” I returned behind the bar and, after R.D. filled one glass, handed him another.
“Doubt it?” Katie repeated, putting it in the form of a question and with a lot more emotion and volume. “Are you kidding me right now?”
I shrugged, passing two beers to Katie and handing R.D. another glass. “I get distracted easily. I forget things. I’d probably forget to feed a kid. Or leave them sleeping in their car seat in the hot minivan after I got home from the store. Or I wouldn’t hear the baby monitor while working in the shop and they’d lie in their crib screaming.” I shook my head. “I would be a terrible mom.”
“What you need to do is find a partner who isn’t forgetful, who doesn’t get distracted. Someone whose strengths make up for your weaknesses.”
“How philosophical.”
“What do you think, R.D.?” Katie asked. “Do you think Lily will make a great mom one day.”
“Yeah.”
Wow…
“What about her being forgetful and distracted?”
“Every problem has a workaround,” he answered while he worked. “Identify the problem. Figure out a solution.”
Such an R.D. answer. Cut and dry.
“Give me an example of a solution,” Katie said to R.D. while she looked at me.
“In the shop. Set up a baby monitor that flashes, like a doorbell for deaf people. Something you won’t miss. That guy, Trevor. The one sniffing around Melody. He’s an electrician, right? Bet he could rig something up.” He put the two glasses he’d filled on another waitress’s tray before adding, “Forgetful? Set an alarm on your phone. Leave yourself a note. Something’s important, you find a way to make yourself remember.” He looked at me, too. “You never forget about work, do you? Or Tulip?”
Wow. Just…wow.
Katie gave me a satisfied smile then leaned in to whisper, “He’s perfect for you,” before grabbing her tray and going to deliver her drinks.
“Hey,” R.D. said, waving his hand in front of my face like I’d done to him a time or two. “You working today?”
“Yeah. Sure. Right. Back to work.” I crossed to the far end of the bar, distracted. R.D. and me in bed together? Yes, definitely. Something I thought about often. R.D. being my perfect match? Us having babies together? No. Never even considered the possibility. Until Katie had to go and open her big mouth. “Not that it matters,” I told myself, wiping down a patch of clean bar. He’d be gone in a few weeks.
Didn’t make sense to waste time even considering the possibility.
A little while later, in the process of making change for a customer, I found a folded cocktail napkin under the drawer where we kept the large bills. Keeping it hidden, I carefully opened it, noting the familiar handwriting, smiling as I tucked my secret admirer’s words into my back pocket to read later. In private.
The location of this particular note got me thinking. It had to be someone I worked with. Who else had access to the cash register? Both Kurt and R.D. Unless someone had asked either of them to leave it for me.
“Lily,” R.D. called out. “Two mojitos and a Moscow mule.”
“On it.” I got back to work.
Later, alone in the locker room after close, I took a peek:
You get what you focus on, so focus on what you want
I wanted to know who cared enough about me to take time out of their day to research motivational quotes and pick out ones that were exactly what I needed.