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Sady woke up and looked at the clock. It was two in the morning- what was that sound? Bea hadn't screamed which was good, but something didn't seem right. It was dark in the other rooms so Sady felt her way down the hall to the living room.
More thumps and bumps, too muffled to be Matt getting a midnight snack. A faint bit of light came through the sliding doors in the living room. Sady could see a man in the room. He was too short to be Matt. Her heart leapt into her throat, wondering if Matt was okay. If so, this guy wouldn't be skulking around the apartment. She moved forward another step, and the man stopped moving as if he sensed her presence.
Sady panicked. No Matt, a strange man, and two kids that needed protecting. She took a deep breath and frantically launched herself at the man, putting her head down and running straight forward, catching him in the stomach.
"Oomph!" He went down and Sady's momentum sent her down as well. She landed on top of him. His arms wrapped around her, pinning her to him. One head butt from her and he yelped, releasing her. She scrambled up and grabbed a heavy brass figurine, getting ready to bring it down on the his head.
A light snapped on and Sady heard Matt ask, "What is going on in here?" He saw what Sady was about to do and grabbed her to prevent her from braining the bloody man on the floor. Matt put Sady aside and reached down to help the man to his feet.
"What are you doing?" she asked, her temper notching up a couple degrees. "Would you like me to pull out the coffee cake for our guest?"
Both men turned to look at Sady. Her hair was a mess from her unexpected fall, and she wore a long T-shirt that read BURNED CHIP PICKER. The picture showed a bag of cartoon potato chips, smiling and unbroken. One chip said to another, "You won't get burned with our chips."
The men laughed at her shirt, and she hefted the brass figurine she still held. "I know you," she exclaimed to the man who wiped his bleeding nose. "You're Arch!"
The men looked at each other and Matt said, "Time for you to leave." He opened the door and Sady stepped into the opening. She poked Matt in the chest.
"Not so fast. And you," she glared at the other man. "You have about thirty seconds to tell me why you're here. Then either I use this brass on your head or call my boss. Have a seat, boys." She slammed the apartment door, and they sat.
She watched them for a moment then she turned on Matt. "You cheated," she accused him in an astonished voice. "You left and had your invisible buddy step in while you took a break." The guilty look on his face spoke volumes.
Arch looked apprehensive when Sady turned to him. "You're not Arch are you? That's a nickname. Your real name is Tim Archer. I remember you now. You have unpleasant neighbors."
He looked worried until Sady opened the front door and shooed him out. "You get a pass because you're the one who took care of Leon." He exchanged another look with Matt. Sady waved him off. "I know what I saw even though he tried to take credit for it. Now go before I change my mind."
Arch headed out the door, and before it closed he said, "You're right, Matt. She does have nice legs. But a lethal head butt, man."
Sady spun around and Matt held up his hand. "That's a compliment," he explained. At the look on her face he continued, "Not buying it? Maybe you should put that thing down before you hurt someone with it." He took it from her and set it back on the table. She gave him an evil look, and he sighed. "I'm sorry, Sady. I went to my apartment for two hours of sanity napping."
She looked incredulous. "And you left me down here with a stranger who for all I know was here to kidnap the defenseless in this apartment?"
He laughed. "You're hardly defenseless. But I'm getting off track, aren't I?" She bugged her eyes, and he said, "You were perfectly safe, Sady. You can trust him as much as you can trust me." She snorted, and he amended his statement, "Okay, you can trust him as much as you do CJ and Harry."
"Really, Matt? Because I nearly took out your trustworthy backup. A few seconds more and I would have smashed his head. What if the bad guys showed up after that?"
"You could always flash those legs of yours," he suggested. "Not funny?"
Bea screamed and Matt rushed from Sady’s accusing eyes. "Duty calls." He fled to check on Bea.
Sady heard Matt muttering as she passed Bea's room. One whiff and she knew why. She snickered. Matt had diaper duty as well as rocking chair duty. "I will NEVER eat tofu and sprouts," she heard him tell Bea as she closed her door and went back to sleep.
When she opened her eyes she found the children on the bed staring at her. Matt was right- it was creepy. "Go watch Matt sleep," she suggested, laughing as they tore off to the living room.
She passed the living room on her way to the kitchen to make coffee. Matt looked like he'd had a bad night. She smiled and pulled up a chair to join the children in staring at him. He lay on his stomach and looked uncomfortable on the too short couch. Sady whispered to Bea and the little girl reached out and pulled on his hair. He opened one eye, then sat up with both eyes wide open, rubbing his face. "I'm going to have nightmares about that you know," he told Sady.
"Doesn't look like your two-hour power nap helped," she stated flatly.
"I agree." He flopped back and closed his eyes.
"Your turn, Argus," Sady said with a nod in Matt's direction. Argus wasn't as gentle as Bea. He nearly pulled out a fistful of Matt's hair. Matt scowled at Sady with bloodshot eyes.
"Time for breakfast, kids. That means you as well, Matt. Coffee's on and the cereal is out. Feed the kids while I have a shower." She left the room before he could protest. When she finished her shower, she found him slumped over his coffee cup. She gave him a jab. "Turn that frown upside down," she said in a cheery voice.
He muttered something under his breath and Argus looked at Sady, his eyes wide. "Aw, he said a naughty word," he told on Matt.
Matt said another one when Sady smacked his arm. She made him apologize to the children while she tried not to laugh.
"Argus, what happens when your daddy says a naughty word?" she asked with a glint in her eye.
"Our mom makes him write 'I will not say naughty words' 500 times. Then I count to make sure he doesn't cheat." Argus took his duties seriously.
"Can you count to 1,000?" Sady asked while Matt protested.
Argus hesitated and Matt said, "NO. I won't write it 1,000 times."
"Okay, 500 it is," Sady told him sweetly. "You can have your shower when you finish. I'll have Argus count them while you're getting ready. Uh, uh," she warned when he opened his mouth. "Argus might not be able to count, but I can. You need to learn to be a good boy."
"You WILL pay for this," he promised Sady as Argus handed him a paper, a pencil, and a small pencil sharpener. The pencil had teeth marks, and the eraser was ragged from chewing. Matt looked at it in disgust.
"Don't you know it's not good to chew on pencils?" Matt asked Argus and Bea.
Bea nodded and Argus said, "That's what our mom keeps telling Daddy when he has to write sentences. He writes a lot of sentences with that pencil."
Matt closed his eyes and silently mouthed words. The kids looked at Sady. "What's he doing?"
"I think he's praying," she lied.
"Our Daddy prays out loud. He says Jesus Christ and God a lot when he prays. But sometimes he adds words that aren't in the Bible. Then he has to write more sentences."
Matt's face turned red and Sady giggled. He gave her a foul look when she asked if he ever went to Sunday school.
"No," he snapped. "That's why I don't know the good words from the bad words."
"Well, we will remind you when you forget, right kids?" They nodded at Matt with smiles.
He bared his teeth at Sady and told them thanks, then he started his sentence writing. When he finished, he shook his fingers and told Sady he'd never be able to shoot straight again.
"You couldn't shoot straight to begin with," she teased. "Now go take your shower. Argus needs time to count."
Matt looked relaxed when he returned from his shower. Then Argus told him he had to write 23 more sentences. Matt's face became pinched but sat down to finish his sentences. The pencil lead snapped and Matt sharpened the end. He put the tip to the paper and a small piece fell onto the paper. Matt sharpened it again and the same thing happened. He shook the pencil.
"The lead's all broken inside," he told Sady with a smile.
"Use a pen," she suggested.
"Oh, no. It HAS to be a pencil, doesn't it, Bea?" Argus asked his sister. Bea nodded and they both stared at Matt.
"Well, get me another pencil then," he told Argus.
"We don't have any more. They are on the shopping list. We don't buy more than we use because it's a waste of trees."
Sady put her hand over Matt's mouth when he asked what the damn paper was made of. He pulled her hand off his mouth and told Argus to get him a colored pencil.
"Those can only be used in coloring books," he told Matt solemnly.
"Well, then how the..." Sady had her hand over his mouth again. She picked up the tiny bit of pencil lead and told Matt to stuff it. He was ready to blow up by the time he finished writing his sentences with the little bits of broken pencil lead stuffed into the end of the pencil. It took him over a half hour to write those 23 sentences.
He stood up and sent his chair over with a crash. Then he went to the balcony and slammed the sliding door behind him. Sady turned on the radio so the kids wouldn't hear what he yelled to the world. She was sure he would qualify for a bulk discount on office supplies if he had to write 500 sentences for every naughty word he said out there.
While he cooled off Argus recounted the sentences and waited just inside the sliding door for Matt’s return.
"I'm sorry, sir. I miscounted. You had written 502 sentences the first time," Argus apologized. Sady doubled over with laughter and Matt headed out onto the balcony again. He returned ten minutes later looking like a beaten man.
Bea was so distracted that she didn't warn Sady she needed the potty. The smell alerted them all. Matt gave Sady a smirk as she took Bea to change her diaper.