| |
"If anyone shows up with weapons, I volunteer to get shot first," Matt whispered when Sady brought Bea back.
"Just hand them the diaper pail," she suggested. "I need to add air freshener to her shopping list. I should add a diaper pail as well. I wonder if she’d believe me if I told her the last one broke. You'd better leave her some money because I wrote little girl underwear on her list as well. What size were they?" she asked from the kitchen.
"How should I know?" he asked.
"Because Amanda told you to look. Now go down to her room and find out what size she wears."
"Well, she's three years old so she should wear a size three," he reasoned.
"It doesn't work that way. In my pageant days I wore a size four," she told him.
"That explains a lot," he retorted.
"Still waiting," she yelled. "And I heard that last remark. I'm keeping a tally. Loser takes Amanda for a night of refreshments."
Matt hopped up and stomped to Bea's room and checked her drawer. "Size four," he told Sady, ignoring her smirk. The nervous tic was back in his jaw.
"Stop that," Sady yelled slapping her now twitching left eye. "Now look what you started." She began giggling and Matt gawked at her.
"What's so funny?"
"This whole thing reminds me of the movie Overboard with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell," she laughed.
"It must have been a horror movie," he said.
"When this is over, if we survive, you bring the skull and crossbones drink and come over to watch the movie. Deal?" she asked with a smile.
"Deal," he agreed with a sparkle in his blue eyes. He edged her back against the kitchen counter and said, "Maybe we just haven't been blowing off steam the right way."
Sady peeked over his shoulder nervously and he took advantage of her closeness. He grabbed the back of her head and lowered his mouth to hers. It was steaming all right, Sady thought. More like boiling. He pulled her tight against him and she ran her hands over the muscles of his upper back.
Matt ignored the tapping on his thigh, but Sady finally broke away long enough to look down at Argus. Matt kept his head buried in her neck and hair.
"Do we have to take a nap now? Can't you wait until it's our real nap time?"
Sady flushed and felt Matt laughing. He wouldn't let go and he whispered teasingly in her ear, "I could send them to nap for the rest of the day."
"You're going to get us kicked off the job," she warned.
"Why didn't you let me know sooner? I'd have done this the first day." He dove for her mouth again and she struggled to avoid it.
"You better stop this," she whispered. "We're setting a bad example." He kept up the assault until she begged him to stop.
"You owe me catch up time," he warned. She nodded, too nervous about the kids watching to realize what she agreed to. Before he let her go, he smiled with a quick brush of his mouth across hers.
Sady rolled her eyes at him. "You're killing me, Matt."
"Good," he said, finally releasing her. "You do pretty well yourself on the slaying field." He turned to the kids as though nothing had happened. "You don't mind me kissing the pretty lady, do you?" he asked them.
"You can do anything you want as long as we don't have to take a nap," Argus told Matt. Matt roared and Sady's mouth dropped. She pushed Matt into the other room.
"Read them a book," she said.
"A bedtime story?" he asked wickedly.
"Is your mother alive?" Sady asked.
"Yes. Why do you ask?"
"Because I want to send her a sympathy card. I bet you were... " she turned away so they couldn't hear what she said. It's a good thing or she would have to write sentences.
Matt grinned and sat on the couch with the kids to read them a book. Sady took the time to cool down. Matt just finished the second book when he got a call from Harry. He stood up, letting the book fall, and he motioned to Sady with his eyes. She looked scared, hoping nothing had happened to the kid's mom. Matt saw the look and shook his head reassuringly. She let out her breath with relief.
He took his phone into the hall and Sady put in a DVD for the kids to watch. National Geographic. She hoped it wasn't too graphic. The kids were busy watching the gorillas when Matt came back into the apartment.
"Head's up," he said quietly. "Harry and CJ stopped a suspicious couple trying to force their way into Kristen's work place. They didn't reach Kristen but Harry lost them in traffic. I think we'd better move the kids for now. I'm calling Arch for backup so don't clock him again when you see him."
Sady turned in time to see the horrifyingly real mating ritual of the gorillas on the TV screen. Oh my, she thought, even as she rushed to find the remote and stop the disturbing scene from playing out in front of the kids.
"Hey," Argus yelled. "How come you stopped it? Our favorite part is coming up."
Matt looked up from his phone with a grin at Sady. She was shocked, and he nudged her. "Yeah, Mom. How come you ruin all the fun?" he teased.
"Doesn't your mom make you take a nap at this part?" she asked in a strangled voice.
Argus gave her a curious look. "Why? It's fun to watch the baby gorillas play. Even mom likes it."
Sady wiped the unexpected perspiration from her brow. "Well, Matt wants to show us where he lives," Sady said. He shook his head, and she said. "I mean I want to show you where I live. Would you like to see my place?"
"Nah, we'd rather watch the baby gorillas." Argus shot her down. She looked at Matt desperately, completely out of her element.
"Sady has kittens at her apartment," he lied.
"Why did you tell them that?" she hissed. "What am I supposed to say when they find out there aren't any kittens?"
"Tell them they all died," he suggested. "What?" he asked when she gaped at him.
Sady pinched his arm and Argus said. "Our mom told us we can't have pets in this building. Did she lie to us?"
Sady gaped at Matt. "Way to go, genius! I'll let you field this one while I grab a few necessities." She left Matt on his own while she gathered diapers and clothes for the kids. She stuffed in a couple books, then grabbed the coloring books and crayons as well. There was nothing in her apartment to entertain children.
"Well?" she asked when she returned.
"I explained to them that I forgot you had to give all the kittens away because it's against the rules to have pets here. Argus promised he won't tell," he assured her.
"Gee, thanks," she said under breath.
"Don't mention it." He held up a DVD. "That's why we're taking the baboons with us."
"Gorillas," Argus and Sady corrected him. Sady held out her hand for a high five from Argus.
"Don't corrupt the kid," Matt told her. "This is how it's done, Argus." He showed him how to fist bump.
"You're worried I'm going to corrupt him? Just make sure you keep your mouth shut when you're bumping fists," Sady told Matt tartly. She picked up Bea and asked if Matt was finally ready.
"Another lesson, Argus. A woman will always make you late, then blame it on you. It's not fair, but get used to it."
"Will you just shut up and get moving?" Sady asked in exasperation. Kristen was going to wonder what happened to the nice children she had left in their care.
"Notice the hostility?" he asked Argus in a low voice. Argus looked confused and Matt continued, "Don't worry. You'll have to deal with it soon enough." He opened the door and ushered them to the elevator.
Sady unlocked her door on the tenth floor and said, "Ta-da!" The rest of them looked at her like she was stupid. She shook her head and led the way into her apartment. This isn't a good idea, she thought looking around and seeing it wasn't child proofed. She hurried to put breakables out of Bea's reach while Matt stood back and enjoyed the view. Sady caught him staring and snapped, "Don't just stand there, stupid. Help me!"
He reached around her and grabbed the vase she held. "Like this?" he asked in her ear.
She turned and gave him a shove. "Oh, go and watch your... animal pornography!"
He wandered to her kitchen and helped himself to snacks. He poured a bowl for each of the kids. "Hide the box," Sady cautioned. "The only organic thing in this place lives in the drains."
Matt put the DVD in Sady's player and started it from the beginning. "Was that necessary?" she asked with a sigh as the gorillas started mating season again. He grinned and popped a snack into his mouth. "I hope you choke on it," she told him.
His phone buzzed and he hopped up. "Arch is here. I’ll talk with him in the hall."
"Don't take advantage of the situation," she warned.
"Sady, you should know better by now," he replied shaking of his head in mock dismay.
"That's the problem. I DO know. You have five minutes and you'd better hope the elevator doesn't break." She looked at her watch and motioned him to get moving. He was back ten minutes later.
"Where's Arch?" Sady asked.
"He's keeping watch from my apartment down the hall," Matt replied.
Sady answered her phone when it rang. The security guard was checking to see if they were okay. Someone reported the door to the Davis' apartment on the seventh floor was wide open. She checked with Matt, but she knew he locked the door when they left.
He picked up Bea and handed her to Sady. "Get ready to move," he warned her. He knelt down and told Argus, "If Sady runs I need you to go with her and make sure she doesn't fall down, okay? She's clumsy sometimes and might need your help." Argus promised he would help while Sady's look promised revenge.
She didn't have time to think about it because the sliding glass door to her balcony smashed and glass sprayed over the room. Matt opened the door and told Argus to keep up with Sady. He turned back as a giant fist slammed into his face. Seconds later he grappled with a man who seemed determined to rip off his face.
Sady raced down the hall to Matt's apartment where Arch waited. They passed each other in the hall as Arch went to Matt's aid. A short time later Arch returned Matt's apartment. He'd taken a few punches, but he smiled and Sady felt relieved. Arch didn't say anything, although he indicated Matt subdued the man in her apartment.
"Matt wants me to run down to have a word with security at the front door. This guy accessed the apartment from outside," he told Sady. She nodded, and he headed toward the elevator. Suddenly she grabbed the kids and ran after him.
"Wait, Arch! There's two of them," she yelled as the elevator doors closed.
"Behind you," he warned. Sady shoved the kids through the crack in the elevator door and turned in time to catch a fist to her jaw. The punch made her mad. Sady grabbed the woman by the hair and yanked down as she lifted her knee.
The woman grabbed Sady around the legs and pulled her to the floor. She slapped Sady across the face and tried to gouge out her eyes. Sady grabbed the woman's hand and bit down hard. They rolled around on the floor for a few minutes, each trying to get the upper hand. Meanwhile, Matt, Arch, and the kids watched.
Interspersed with the fighting the requisite name calling took place.
"Orca. Xbox. Bimbo. Manster. Tart. Bovine blimp. Bag of bones. Tramp. Skank. Hoebag. Village bike. Hoochie mama. Pus bag. Gutter whore. Lot lizard. Double-bagger. Jackpine savage. Sea hag. Porcupig. Troglodyte.
Matt and Arch looked at each other in awe. The women spoke a foreign language as they kicked and clawed. The words unconsciously spewed out like lava from a volcano.
As the language descended into unknown depths of depravity Arch put his hands over Argus' ears. Matt yelled for them to slow down so he could get a pen and paper.
Sady then realized there was an audience. And no one was helping! As she rolled past Matt's legs she tried to take him out. He jumped back with a laugh. The woman took the brunt of Sady's anger for that maneuver. Sady used her elbow and jammed it into the woman's stomach.
That started another round of hair pulling. The woman had Sady's hair tightly wound around her hand and she used her other fist to give Sady an uppercut. Sady charged her like a bull, using her head as a battering ram. She shoved the woman into the wall and Matt jumped out of the way again.
Sady's head was still low. She grabbed the woman's arms and stood up, flipping the woman up and over her shoulders. The woman landed on her back, winded. Sady spun around and yelled at Matt, "A little help here?"
She saw Arch and the kids staring as well. "You too, jack-ass," she screamed at Arch as the woman stirred.
"I don't know, Matt. I thought she was doing pretty well. What do you think?" Arch asked.
"She looked like she was holding her own," Matt agreed. "Argus, here's another lesson. What you just watched is called a cat fight. Never, ever try to break one up, understand?" Matt was unbelievable!
"Why not?" Argus asked Matt.
"Because it will expand your vocabulary, plus it's hot," he laughed as Sady charged him. She took him down and pulled his hair until he yelled for mercy. Arch worked to restrain the woman lying on the floor.
After he finished, he pulled Sady off Matt. Matt reached out to Argus, and they fist bumped. "Just for that we're even on the catch up time, " Sady told Matt.
Bea screamed, "Go," and Sady plopped her on Matt's stomach.
Too late. "Be glad it's just a diaper," Sady spat out. "Get moving because I don't want to smell it, understand?" Matt picked up Bea with a grin and took her to Sady's apartment to change her diaper.
Sady turned to Arch with narrowed eyes. "You are absolutely worthless without your gun," she said insultingly. "Can you operate a cell phone or do you need someone to dial it for you?"
The woman on the floor tried to squirm her way down the hall. Sady stepped on her hand and said, "If you make another move I'll bitch slap you onto the roof of this building and push you off. Then I'll haul you back up and do it again so I can watch you bounce."
She heard a muffled laugh but when she spun back Arch was busy with his phone, and he shrugged innocently. The police arrived to take the couple into custody. A call to the Knight's, then a call from Morrow to the police allowed them to stay at the apartment and give their statements later.