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I SPENT THE NIGHT AT Teddy’s place, wrapped up in her arms and doing all kinds of fun things. We drifted off around nine, after a marathon session exhausted both of us. Waking around two in the morning, I felt amorous and managed to coax her into a fever yet again. We tiptoed into the kitchen for a late night snack and passed out on the couch watching a movie on her streaming service.
I slept in well past my habitual five a.m. wake-up call. I was accustomed to going down to the gym in the early morning, but I blew past that activity, rousing only when sunlight flooded the room.
Teddy was missing from my arms, but a quick scan of the room showed me she was in the kitchen making coffee. I rose to my feet, stretching out after the hours spent pressed up against the sofa arm.
It was Wednesday, and Teddy and I were scheduled to go see Alec at the rehab center. I should also have been focused on completing several tasks necessary for the complete transition of Retro. I wanted to make sure that the new owner had access to all the files and that I wasn’t leaving anything out before stepping down for good. That meant going through the servers and identifying all the wayward notes that had been taken in meetings or folders that were mislabeled. It was a job Teddy was definitely qualified to help me with and would provide the perfect excuse to spend the day together.
I walked over to her, sliding my hands down her hips before kissing her good morning. “How did you sleep?”
“Only so well,” she teased, batting her eyelashes seductively. “Something was poking me all night long.”
I laughed, releasing her so that I could go brush my teeth. “You asked for it.”
“I did,” she agreed.
We had a quick breakfast before driving into the office. Teddy wore something far more ravishing than the conservative court dress, though it was entirely appropriate for corporate culture. At least this dress didn’t fall below her knees, and her figure was on display with a narrow waistline.
“I moved all my things out of the main office,” I explained as we rode the elevator up to the top floor. “I’m down the hall a bit, just camping out for a few more weeks until everything gets settled.”
“So you’re a regular employee now?” she asked, following me down the hall to my new digs.
“No, not an employee. I’m not getting paid.”
“So you’re squatting?” she revised, lingering in the doorway as I opened it to display an executive suite that was largely devoid of furniture.
There was enough space for a couch and several chairs, for a table and a side bar, and a massive desk. Instead, there was only a small Ikea-themed workspace with two chairs that had been purchased at one of the lower tiered office supply stores.
“It really does look like you’re squatting,” Teddy said with a laugh, poking fun of the insufficient furniture.
“They’ll move this out when they hire someone full-time,” I said. “It was easier to move this desk than one of the other behemoths.”
“I get it,” she replied, setting her laptop case down on the faux wood surface. She unzipped the bag and pulled the computer out, commandeering one of the two uncomfortable chairs. I watched as she proceeded to follow my instructions without delay, connecting to the Wi-Fi and delving into the company’s files. She knew exactly where everything was, better than I did. It would take her no time at all to organize things so that Silvano would be able to put his hands on all the important information.
I reached for my own device, setting up opposite my newly re-established assistant/girlfriend. We faced each other across the desk, each one working on our own tasks. I spent a few minutes reading emails before getting into the nitty gritty of the operating manuals that I wanted to perfect before leaving the company.
At noon, we went out for lunch. “I’m going to miss having all these restaurants within walking distance,” Teddy said. “I almost forgot how nice it was.”
“What’s your pleasure today?” I asked, restraining myself from stroking her hair. One thing led to another when I was with Teddy, and I didn’t want to build up expectations with no hope of release. Not now, anyway. There would be plenty of time for that after work.
“Something light,” she answered.
“How about poke?” I asked.
“Sure,” she agreed.
We took a right and walked down the block to the upscale casual lunch spot that served raw fish on beds of lettuce or rice. It was a near perfect day. We had enough work to occupy us, but neither of us felt any pressure to rush. We lingered over our lunch bowls, gazing into each other’s eyes.
Despite the fact that we hadn’t officially talked about what we were doing, I was losing my resolve to iron everything out beforehand. Leading with the heart instead of the head seemed to be working out fine. I felt great, so why fight it? Maybe Teddy and I were meant for each other; maybe we weren’t. But in that particular moment, everything seemed to be lining up perfectly, and I didn’t want to jinx it.
We walked back to the office and put in a few more hours of work before leaving early. I wanted to go home and change, and so did Teddy. We agreed to meet at my place in two hours so that we could carpool over to Alec’s treatment center.
“Thank you for doing this,” I said to her in the parking garage.
“He’s your family,” she answered stoically. “Of course I’ll let him apologize.”
“See you soon,” I promised, kissing her gently on the lips.
She opened her mouth to taste my tongue, but I put the kibosh on that before it went too far. Sealing the deal, I opened up the driver’s door for her to get in. She gave me a stern look, knowing exactly what I was up to. Maybe she could take the heat, but I definitely couldn’t. I didn’t want to start anything that couldn’t be finished, and I was willing to wait.
I watched her pull away before going to my own car. Half an hour to my home, half an hour downstairs in the gym to burn excess energy, and half an hour to shower left me with less than thirty minutes before Teddy was scheduled to arrive. I got dressed, and with my last ten minutes, I checked email.
The doorbell rang shortly thereafter, and checking it, I was pleased to see that Teddy had changed into something comfortable. She wasn’t trying to impress me or score any points with a judge. A chest-hugging T-shirt and skinny jeans made her even more appealing than she had been the night before. Who was I kidding? Every time I saw her anew, it was like I had been waiting for a thousand years. She could have worn a potato sack and I would have thought it was beautiful.
“You look great,” I said.
“Thanks,” she replied.
“I’m driving,” I told her, grabbing my keys.
“Sounds good,” she answered, giving me no trouble over the arrangements.
We talked about nothing, skirting the emotional conversation that we both knew was coming. It seemed much safer to talk about work and art and concerts we had been to. I kept my hands on the wheel but snuck glimpses of her as she chatted excitedly about Brittany Spears.
“I was twelve when my mom took me to see her,” Teddy said. “I felt so cool.”
“I was twelve when I was introduced to Tchaikovsky,” I countered.
“Were you always so refined?” she sniffed.
“I wouldn’t call it refined,” I said, pulling into the center’s parking lot. “It’s good music.”
She sighed, giving me a look that suggested she was put upon by my choice in activities. I shook my head, engaging the parking brake. We broke into laughter at the same moment and climbed out of the car in tandem. She hugged herself, and it didn’t go unnoticed.
“Are you nervous?” I asked, coming around the bulk of the vehicle to give her a hug.
“No,” she responded quickly, then walked the statement back. “Maybe a little.”
“You don’t have to accept his apology if you don’t want to,” I said.
“I know,” she replied. “Thanks.”
The rehab center was decorated for the holidays. At least a dozen trees in the parking lot were encircled in white lights. The walking path from the edge of the lot to the front door featured larger than life red and green Christmas tree lights, and when we arrived at the entrance, a single photo of a dreidel was taped over the glass.
“Representation.” I tapped the dreidel, poking fun at the center’s attempt to be universal.
Teddy didn’t respond, so I let it drop. It seemed that she was more nervous than she wanted to admit. I showed her up to the reception desk and asked for Alec. We both signed the register and sat down to wait. It wasn’t long before Alec arrived. He was dressed in the most hideous Christmas sweater I’d ever seen, with dancing elves and twelve points of light that blinked on and off with battery power.
“Where did you get that?” I asked, standing up but not making a move to touch the thing.
“Ugly sweater party,” Alec explained. “Do you like it?”
“No.” I couldn’t stop myself from telling the truth. “It’s hurting my eyes.”
He gave me a smirk that told me he didn’t appreciate my honesty. Turning instead to Teddy, he held out a hand to help her to her feet. She took it gracefully, outwardly confident and friendly. All traces of the nervousness were gone. I wasn’t sure if Alec’s sweater had anything to do with it, but I kept that suspicion to myself.
“We can go over to the library,” Alec suggested, motioning toward a set of double doors at the far end of the room.
I checked with Teddy, and she nodded, not the least bit worried about taking our conversation somewhere more private. I followed her lead, allowing Alec to escort us through the common area and into what was likely to be a more intimate setting.
The “library” wasn’t much. There were a few shelves at waist level full of novels, and not much else. The bulk of the space was consumed with comfortable chairs in little groups, which made it perfect for our purposes.
“Not a lot of books,” I observed.
“No one’s doing research here,” Alec said dryly. “It’s just another room that happens to have a few books. We call it the library, but they often have programs or parties in here.”
Teddy took a seat first, and Alec and I followed, sinking down into plush armchairs that faced each other across a circular coffee table. There was a moment of awkward silence when I realized that we had little to talk about beyond Alec’s proposed apology.
“I’ll get right to it,” Alec said, realizing that he had center stage. “There is no excuse for the way I treated you before. I am sick. This disease will be with me for the rest of my life, and the only thing I can do is try to stay sober one day at a time.”
I could hear the jargon from all the meetings he had been to and wondered if Teddy could too. I was pleased that he was taking responsibility, but the ‘one day at a time’ thing struck a dissonant chord. I was hoping that he would promise to remain sober for the rest of his life. As someone without a drinking problem, I realized that I couldn’t really appreciate how difficult it was for him.
“I am sorry,” Alec continued. “From the bottom of my heart. I treated you badly, and I was rude and aggressive, and I’m sorry.”
Teddy looked over at me, checking to see if I was paying attention before giving Alec her blessing. “It’s okay. I know what it’s like to mess up and hurt others.”
Suddenly both Alec and Teddy were staring at me, and I had no idea why. Had I made some mistake I wasn’t aware of? Was Teddy saying that she felt like she had messed up and hurt me? If so, nothing could be further from the truth. Although we’d had a rocky start, we were back in each other’s arms, and nothing was going to get in our way ever again. Belatedly, I realized that it probably had something to do with the conversation Teddy and I had been putting off.
I shook my head to indicate that I had no clue what they were getting at. Teddy swung her beautiful eyes back to Alec and smiled. Alec returned the favor, and for a moment, I felt like I was the one on the outside looking in.
“So what are you going to do for Christmas?” Teddy asked, assuming that the formal dialog was behind us.
“I don’t know,” Alec sighed, throwing one leg up over the other and relaxing back into the chair. “I’d like to visit Mom and Dad, but I’m not sure how I’ll handle being around alcohol again.”
“We could have a dry Christmas,” I offered.
“Really?” He sat forward, eager to learn more.
“Sure,” I scoffed. “One evening without a drink won’t kill us.” I checked with Teddy, assuming that she knew she was invited, and that her opinion mattered.
“Of course,” she agreed readily. “Not a problem.”
“Okay,” Alec replied, considering the offer. “That would be really sweet.”
“We want you to be comfortable,” I said, reaching over to touch Teddy’s knee.
Alec saw it, and his eyes rocketed to mine. Without trying to talk about Teddy in front of her, he raised his brows. I nodded slightly, letting him know that we had indeed repaired our relationship, at least to a point of casual contact.
“Great,” Alec said, giving me a wolfish grin before turning back to Teddy.
We stayed to hear a little bit about the internal politics of the rehab center and why pudding was a touchy subject. By the end of the visit, we were all laughing and looking forward to a holiday spent together. Teddy and I hadn’t talked about what we were doing over Christmas, but it seemed natural that we would spend at least part of the day together. It was yet another official conversation that we were putting off, but I was willing to continue doing so as long as things were looking up. I didn’t want to put any undue pressure on our fledgling reconciliation. Better to just go with the flow and see how it all shook out.
“Alec seems to be doing well,” Teddy said when we were walking back to the car.
“Thanks for coming up to see him,” I responded, unlocking the doors with my key fob. “I think it meant a lot to him.”
She gave me a slight smile that I couldn’t easily interpret before putting her reaction into words. “He means a lot to you, so that makes it important.”
I climbed into the car and shut the door, reaching for her hand before pressing the start button. We drove off into the sunset, happy to be together and excited about the future.
