Chapter 18

The euphoric days of sheer delight at the news of his wife’s pregnancy soon morphed into a world of deep concern. As a scientist, Wesley Philips knew only too well where to find the most esoteric information hidden in the internet and he made it his business to ferret out that information. His style of research was of the global kind. He needed to know everything before he was content.

What he discovered was disturbing. Zoe had not known she was pregnant for around eight weeks and this was the most crucial period of the whole nine months. It was the period during which there was the highest mortality rate and the highest risk of something going wrong.

He tried to cast his mind back over the two months. Had Zoe been eating properly? He knew nutrition was essential for normal growth of the specialised cells that would develop into a healthy baby. How many times had they chosen a take-out meal because they were too tired at the end of the day to cook something more appealing?

And what about sleep? Was Zoe sleeping well at that particular time or was she rushed off her feet at work and stressed about the paparazzi?

He blamed himself for every single time he might have added to his wife’s stress or been withdrawn because he was worrying about introducing the topic of conception at a time when, perversely, conception had already occurred. If it were possible to go back and have that opportunity again, he would have given anything to ensure Zoe had the best care and the best circumstances to focus on her health.

Should he have insisted on Zoe stopping work entirely?

As this thought occurred, it had the effect of pouring cold water on his hyper-active mind and bringing in a cool blast of more rational thinking. Of course, Zoe would not have agreed to leave work. Her work was who she was in the deepest sense. It followed that any attempt to slow his wife down now, was going to be equally unsuccessful.

It was vital to conceal his worries and support her in every decision she might make.

Wesley knew this was not going to be easy for him. From their very first encounter in his office, as therapist and patient, it had been clear to him that Zoe Morton was a strong-minded, independent woman who was not easily swayed by another’s opinion. To bring about her rapid return to mental health and stability, he had been obliged to step aside and let her work out exactly what she required. Because she had been such an unusual patient, his interest in her had risen to an unprecedented level and so their personal relationship had grown over time.

In a way, his role now was not much different. He would have to let her find her own way in this new world of pregnancy in which they were each complete neophytes.

After all, she was quite definitely a woman with all the womanly senses. She was the one dealing with the changes to her body and she would be the best one to show him how to support her. It just required patience and love. The second of these was never going to be a problem. It was the first that gave him concern.

Dr. Wesley Philips’ conclusion, one he had to reiterate frequently to himself, was to apply his skills as a trained observer in an intense way during this first trimester. He would watch Zoe like a hawk and be ready to step in with help, encouragement and loving care whenever, and if ever, she indicated such things might be needed. It was clearly not his job to make the situation more difficult for her. His worries must be put securely into the background of his mind whenever they were together. Zoe must not get even a whiff of his true concerns.

It would require of him a strict discipline but he was no stranger to discipline of mind or body. Anything that would help bring his child into the world safe and healthy would be well worth whatever sacrifice was required of him.