The Trade Road

 

Filari rode beside Rephanin, silent and sullen, appearing unwearied. Rephanin, whose aching limbs protested his horse's every step, was at a loss for how to approach his new candidate.

Reluctance showed in every line of her face and bristled in her khi. When he spoke to Filari she answered, but with few words and no enthusiasm. She would not initiate a conversation in mindspeech, despite his encouragement. She was withdrawn, and Rephanin did not understand why.

He thought of Ehranan’s delight when he had reported Filari’s response, of the commander’s eagerness to send her at once to Hollirued. He had laughed as he told Ehranan they must first establish the extent of Filari’s gift. Now it seemed possible that he must disappoint Ehranan altogether, and that was hard to bear. The commander’s approval meant a great deal to him. Perhaps too much.

Rephanin turned his head to look at Filari. The spark of attraction he often felt for one with whom he shared intimate mindspeech was absent. Perhaps it was because of her trouble in Glenhallow; Ehranan had reminded him that she had been entangled with the traitor Kelevon. Her manner had been withdrawn, he assumed on that account, long before this morning. Her behavior toward Rephanin was reserved and formal.

Well, formality would not do, not if they were to become distance speakers together. As she was reluctant, he must exert himself.

Filari, do you hail from Glenhallow, or some other part of Southfæld?

She glanced sidelong at him. Glenhallow.

He caught an echo of unhappiness in her thoughts. Keeping his own voice gentle and warm, he tried again.

Your family are there? You must miss them.

She grimaced. My father gave me to understand he would be grateful if I did not return home.

Rephanin was astonished. He cast you out?

Not in so many words, but he made it clear he thought the Guard was the best place for me.

The Guard, who viewed her with mistrust and barely tolerated her presence. Rephanin frowned, thinking her father must not have known how the Guard treated her. No father who loved his child could wish such a fate upon her.

I am glad we are going to Fireshore.

It was the first voluntary expression she had made. Rephanin glanced at her.

Why?

Folk there do not know me.

Rephanin closed his eyes briefly, sorry for her pain. For a moment he wished to escape it, to abandon the attempt to work with her, but she did not deserve that he should desert her as others had done. What she needed, he thought, was healing, but that was not his gift.

You and Lord Turisan are the only ones who have been kind to me.

He smiled slightly. We know there is worth in you, Filari.

She did not answer. When next he looked her way he saw tears upon her cheeks. Dismayed, his instinct was to embrace her and try to comfort her. That could not be done now, while they were riding. Instead he reached a gentle thought toward her, a wordless touch, a tentative intimacy.

She gasped, and in the same instant he felt as if she had struck him a blow, as if the door to her thoughts had slammed in his face. It cost him his balance and he clutched at his mount's neck.

Recovering, he sought to regain his composure. Never in his life had he encountered such a response; Filari’s reaction had been violent, something he had not even imagined possible in mindspeech.

Filari coughed. “Your pardon. I was startled.”

“My apologies.”

“I w-will not do it again.”

Rephanin nodded. Despite this assurance, he was hesitant to open himself once more. He rode in silence for a while, thinking of the healers who traveled with the army, wondering if he might approach one of them to work with Filari.

“Please, my lord...”

He met her gaze, saw anxiousness in her dark eyes. Though they were not in speech he could sense desperation in her khi. She feared he would turn away from her as well.

“When you are ready, speak to me.”

Her eyes lit with terror for a moment. What had she to fear from him? What had she suffered to make her so afraid?

His gaze drifted to the reins in his hands. All at once he had a strong wish to be back in Glenhallow, in the quiet darkness of the magehall, in the comfort of his circle, who knew him and trusted him.

My lord?

Ah. She could indeed initiate speech with him. Her gift was true. Relief and a tingle of anticipation poured through him.

Yes?

D-do not be angry with me, please.

I am not angry.

I reacted without thinking ... I ...

Filari.

She ceased her restless stammering. He could hear her take in a long breath.

I will never knowingly hurt you. You have my pledge upon that.

T-thank you.

They rode on in silence for a few moments, though the contact remained open between them. Rephanin put nothing forward, leaving it to her to speak first. He sensed her struggling, flashes of emotion reaching him whisper-light, too swift to be understood. At last they faded and she grew somewhat calmer.

It felt like—when Kelevon touched me.

Her fear flared again, so sharply that Rephanin flinched and almost withdrew. Spirits, what had Kelevon done to the child?

I will not hurt you.

I know. I know.

She let out a shuddering sigh, and seemed to be gathering herself. Rephanin remained watchful, as nervous of her as of a horse that might suddenly kick.

Lord Turisan said this would be a way for me to atone, to perform a service that would ... I do not know what he meant by it.

Rephanin paused to choose his words carefully. He had not yet raised the subject of distance speech. He sought now to tell her his hopes in a way that would cause her no alarm.

You said you were glad to be going to Fireshore.

Yes.

What would you think of traveling to Hollirued instead?

Hollirued?

On your own, with none of the Guard to look down upon you.

She seemed to muse on this. As a child I wished to go to Hollirued. My father journeyed there once, long ago. He said it was the most magnificent city in ælvendom, that it cast Glenhallow into shade.

If you and I can speak at distance, Lord Ehranan will ask you to travel to Hollirued, to be our voice before the governor of Eastfæld.

She was silent for so long he feared he had frightened her again. Turning his head to look at her, he saw her eyes alight with a fire he had not seen there before.

When? When may I go?