My favorite quote is by Voltaire, “Man is free the moment he wishes to be.” I believe that’s true. Nothing in this life has more power over you than you allow it to have. You are free to be whoever and whatever you choose. Most people, sadly, don’t have the confidence or the courage to do or be what they really want. They’d rather follow the societal “norm” than risk not fitting in.
Life is too short to waste a single moment. I refuse to pretend to be anything I’m not. I am who I am and if you don’t like it, fuck off. I live my life unapologetically. When I walk, it’s with confidence and pride.
I’ve earned my reputation of a criminal. I’ve done bad things, I’ve hurt people, but only for the greater good. Everything I do, is with the big picture in mind. Sometimes a little suffering for a few is worth the long-term happiness of many. It’s never an easy decision to make, though necessary.
These are the thoughts on my mind as Sophie and I ride out to the Westlake Boardwalk after lunch. Since Sophie is riding with me, I take the longer, scenic route along the lakeshore.
When we arrive, Sophie’s shivering and covered in goosebumps. “Were you warm enough? I wasn’t thinking about how much cooler it is along the lakeshore when I took that route.”
“It was p-perfect,” her teeth chatter. “So beautiful.”
“We’ll take the main roads home.” I take her by the hand and guide her to the left, away from the public beach entrance. The long walk to the private beach should warm her up.
“I thought we were going to the boardwalk.” She motions to the entrance.
“Going in the back way.”
“There’s a back way?”
No. Just a different way. But I don’t say as much. I just give her a sly smile. I’m not surprised Sophie doesn’t know about the private beach. She’s a good girl. Using a private beach that she doesn’t have permission for isn’t her style. Breaking any law, no matter how small, isn’t her style. She can probably count on one hand the number of laws she’s broken. I couldn’t begin to count the laws I’ve broken. My first offense, though I wasn’t caught, was stealing a street sign with my last name. I was only thirteen.
Letting go of her hand, I wrap my arm around Sophie’s waist to draw her close as we walk. A thrill shoots through me when she returns the gesture. I’ve dreamt of being with her for so damn long, never thinking it would actually happen. Yet, here we are.
She’s mine.
I repeat it in my mind again and again, but I doubt I’ll ever get used to it.
From the looks we’re garnering by the passersby, I’d venture a guess they’re even more stunned than I am that Sophie’s with me. Their mouths fall open and they glare at me with cold eyes when they see my arm draped around her. The men glance from her to me with disdain. They can’t possibly imagine what she sees in a piece of shit like me. They probably assume I’m taking advantage of a young woman’s naiveté—that I’m corrupting her. But right now, I couldn’t care less. I’m on cloud nine to have this beautiful girl by my side.
But Sophie isn’t as jubilant. She looks ill at ease with a frown as she chews the inside of her mouth. It occurs to me she might not be as unaffected by the gawking and unspoken judgments. As we pass a few more disgusted onlookers, her posture stiffens.
She’s embarrassed to be seen with me.
My throat constricts painfully at the realization. I come to a halt and when I do, Sophie falters in her step. “Do you want me to take you home?”
“Why would I want that?”
“Please, Sophie,” I groan. “I can see how uncomfortable you are.”
“What? No.”
“Yes you are,” I tear my hand away. “Everyone’s staring and judging you for being with me and it bothers you.” Insulted, I back away from her.
“No. Rooter.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it. “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me being with you. I don’t like the way they’re looking at you.”
I turn to face her. “What?”
“These judgmental assholes are looking at you like they’re better than you and it’s pissing me off!” Sophie ferociously stares down an ogling bystander, ready to pounce. It’s completely adorable.
Swathed in relief, I laugh and sit her down on the bench to our right. “Whoa, killer. Back down.” I take her by the arms and pull her close. “It doesn’t matter what they think.”
“But they’re wrong!”
“Again. Doesn’t matter. Don’t let it bother you. I don’t.”
“Never?” Her eyes are filled with disbelief.
“I don’t care what strangers think of me.”
She raises her voice. “It doesn’t piss you off even a little that they’re looking down on you when they don’t even know you?”
“They’re strangers, Sophie,” I speak with a gentle, easy tone. “I’ll never see any of them again, so why should it bother me?”
“Yeah, but it still pisses me off.” She presses her lips into a thin line and glowers at a nosy spectator.
I smile and lean my forehead against hers. “I like protective Sophie.”
For a long moment, I stare into her eyes. This incredible creature continues to surprise me. She’s like a protective mama bear. I’m not used to being the one being defended. I pull away and bring her hand to my lips. She licks her lips and leans forward infinitesimally. She wants me to kiss her. It’s very tempting. But… the game is still on.
I give her a wink and stand from the bench, holding out my hand.
We resume our walk to the beach, but every time someone frowns at us, Sophie becomes tense. I fear she might attack someone.
“I have an idea,” I say. “Something my mom taught me.”
“What’s that?” she asks through gritted teeth.
“Every time someone gives us a dirty look, smile at them like you’re happy to see them.”
“What?”
“It’s a great way to call them out. It says, I see you judging me, and guess what, I don’t give a shit.”
She purses her lips, doubtful.
“Like the guy in the blue shirt coming our way,” I nod in his direction. When we get a little closer, I meet his stare and smile wide, pulling Sophie close. He quickly looks away, tripping on his feet.
Sophie beams. “That was hilarious. His face turned bright red.”
“It works every time.”
A few minutes later, we reach the entrance to the private beach. It’s not much of an entrance, per se. It’s just a beaten down path that has been worn in between a pair of tall sand dunes.
“This is a private beach,” Sophie whispers when she sees the no trespassing sign.
“No one ever says anything,” I assure her with a smile and a squeeze of the hand.
There’s hardly anyone here, anyway. The woman reading a novel under her beach umbrella is almost always here, in the same spot. There’s also a few couples, one with a young boy running around with a ball. One of the couples briefly glance our way.
“You come here often?” Sophie asks.
“Mostly in the winter.”
“The winter?” Her brows are pulled together in surprise.
Few people are brave enough to come out here in the winter. Winters on Lake Michigan are not for the faint of heart. They are brutal. There’s usually a foot or more of snow on the ground January through the end of February. Since I can’t ride in the winter, I spend a lot of my time at the beach, taking in the view of the ice-covered lake. “Yeah. When the lake’s iced over, the sunset here is phenomenal. Have you ever seen it?”
She shakes her head emphatically. “Not much of a cold weather person.”
Not surprised, I chuckle. “Well, I’m bringing you here this winter. You must see it.”
Sophie blanches and shakes her head. “Take a picture.”
“No pictures,” I insist. “You have to see it in person to really capture the beauty of it.”
She giggles, but doesn’t say what she finds funny.
“What?” I ask.
“You and phenomenally beautiful sunsets seem like a bit of an oxymoron.”
“What?” I clutch a hand to my chest and act insulted. “I’m not phenomenally beautiful?”
She looks at me with a thoughtful expression before answering. “Actually, you are.”
I take her face into both hands, my eyes fixed on hers. “I think you’re phenomenally beautiful.”
Sophie’s breath catches, her expression a silent plea for a kiss. Just as I’m about to give in, she’s hit in the head with a fly away beach ball. The little boy I saw when we got here stands before us looking up at her.
“Sorry,” he says and takes off running with the ball.
Both of us laugh and Sophie glances back at me through thick eyelashes, desire evident. But I fix my gaze on the lake, pretending to be unaffected.
Sophie removes her shoes and walks toward the water. As I follow behind, I smell her perfume in the breeze—feminine and sweet, just like her. I fight an intense urge to pull her against me and bury my face in the crook of her neck. We stand on the edge of the water, just close enough that the waves don’t reach our feet. Sophie closes her eyes and basks in the warmth of the sun as the wind blows through her hair.
“I could spend all day here.” She turns to me with a smile.
“I’m game.”
I take a seat in the sand and Sophie follows suit, lifting her face to the sky. I’d be content to sit here, staring at her all day long.
“I wish I could,” she says, “but I have this thing called a job and unfortunately I need said job to pay another thing called rent.”
I’m half tempted to tell her to forget her job. To quit and stay here with me. I’ll pay her bills and make sure she’s taken care of. The thought surprises even myself. I’ve never been inclined to take care of a woman before Sophie, with the exception of my mom and little sister, but that’s different. They’re family. Obviously I’d take care of them. Nothing would please me more than to take care of Sophie and provide her every need and desire. However, it’s much too soon to be making such a declaration. I lace my fingers with hers and smile. “I’ll bring you back when we can spend an entire day together. Preferably with you in that yellow bikini.”
Her face turns crimson. As she leans in for a kiss, her phone rings, but she doesn’t answer it.
“I thought you weren’t kissing me,” I jest and lean in a bit closer.
“I changed my mind.” Her phone continues to ring.
I raise a brow. “Is that right?”
She leans in another couple inches. Her breath is warm on my face. “Yeah.”
“Well, so have I.” I pull away and feign disinterest.
“What?” She stares at me, blinking rapidly. Finally, her phones stops ringing.
“I’m going to make you work for it.”
“Work for it?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “You’re going to have to earn it.”
At first she looks at me, dumbfounded, but then folds her arms over her chest. “I won’t go out with you again until you kiss me.”
I lean in close and linger like I might just kiss her. I look from her eyes, to her tempting lips, and back to her eyes. “Sophie, be realistic. You know you can’t stay away from me.”
Sophie falls back and props herself up on her elbows. “You so need to get over yourself.”
I follow, hovering above her. “Actually, I think it’s you who can’t get over me.”
Her breathing has picked up. Our faces are mere inches apart and she leans in until I can almost feel the softness of her lips. “Kiss me,” she begs.
Sophie’s phone rings again and I pull back with a smirk. She answers the call.
“Hello?” She listens to the caller. “What happened?”
I turn in her direction as she listens with concern to whatever her caller is saying.
“I’m on my way.” She ends the call and turns to me, panicked. “I need to get home.”
“What is it?”
“Mike just called Miranda and threatened her.”