“Hey man,” I hear Bear’s voice from behind me as I stand in the backyard playing fetch with Dopey. I turn in his direction. He appears exhausted yet relaxed at the same time with bags under his eyes and zero tension in his stance. “I was just coming to get you.”
“What’s up?” I raise my chin.
“Mick texted. Wants everyone at the clubhouse.”
“Now? Did he say what it’s about?”
Bear shakes his head. Dopey shoves the ball in his hand and he throws it.
I glance at Sophie’s house then back to Bear. As he stands before me with disheveled hair and wrinkled clothes, he wears the smile of a well-satisfied man. “So… another night with Miss Priss?”
“She’s not a priss.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“She’s a cool girl.”
“I gotta say, I didn’t see that one coming.”
He grins. “No girl can resist me when I turn on the charm.”
I shake my head in disbelief. How Bear of all people won that girl over I’ll never understand. “I’ll go say goodbye to Sophie and I’ll be on my way.”
When I round the doorway into my bedroom, Sophie is still in bed, but awake. If not for Pop’s request, I’d crawl back in with her. I stretch my arms over my head and yawn. “There’s a problem at the shop.” I lie, but only because it’s easier than saying I have Club business and I don’t want to give her reason to worry. I grab a t-shirt and a pair of clean boxers from my chest of drawers. “I’ll grab a quick shower and head over there. You can stay here and sleep.”
She sits up and swings her legs to the side of the bed. “I’ll go on home. I have a lot to do today before work, anyway.”
“Okay.” I bend down and kiss her forehead. “I’ll see you when you get home from work.”
She looks at me, unsure, fidgeting with her fingers, but remains quiet. She’s thinking about what happened last night.
“And stop freaking out about last night,” I insist. “No worries, okay?”
Her smile is small and timid. “Okay.”
“Anyone know what this is about?” I ask Darren and Sparrow after pulling into the lot of the clubhouse.
They shake their heads and follow me into the building where Pop, Wrench, and all the other Double H members are sitting in the front room.
“Hey, Son,” Pop motions for me to come to where he’s standing by the bar.
“What’s up?”
Pop looks around the room before addressing everyone. “We’ve got news on Andy.”
We all stand in silence as we await the news.
“He’s dead,” Wrench says in a solemn tone.
Gasps fill the room.
“Dead?” I ask.
“Evidently,” Pop begins, “he pissed off a couple gang members in a bar in Kalamazoo Saturday night.”
Sounds like Andy. “You’re sure about the intel?”
Wrench answers, “Came directly from Ivan.”
“We will not celebrate Andy’s death,” Pop declares. “Regardless of the fact that he was no longer one of us, and despite the trouble he caused, this is not a happy day. I ask that you not remember the Andy of recent, but the Andy of old. Remember the man who made sure your children got to and from school safely. The man who helped around your house. The man who stood up and took a fist for you. Remember the good in him, not the bad.” Pop turns to me. “Because there was good in him. Andy was a deeply troubled young man whose demons got the best of him. We all have demons. Not one of us in this room is perfect, myself included. So I’m going to send a prayer up that he has found peace. I hope each of you will do the same.”
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned as a member of Double H is there is nothing on earth more precious than human life. Each life is invaluable and once it’s snuffed out, it can never be replaced. Be it a friend or as in this case a foe, death is not to be celebrated under any circumstance. While I won’t mourn this loss, I will not take delight in it either.
I’m not shocked by the news. I don’t have the details, but I’ve always expected Andy’s mouth would lead to his death. The guy acted as though he was invincible. Either he believed he was, or perhaps he was looking for a way out.
As with any death, Andy’s leads me to ponder my own mortality. I could be gone tomorrow. Hell, I could be gone in an hour or after my next breath. The one thing I’m sure of is my end won’t come gently.
My life is filled with enemies who’d be happy to see me perish. The only thing that would make them happier is to be the one who pulls the trigger. I never know from one moment to the next if someone will come for me, but it’ll happen one day. I can only hope I’ll be prepared.
Speaking of enemies, I wonder how Andy’s death will affect Ivan’s intentions for Halsey? Will it affect Pop’s proposition for a trade?
I find Pop in one of the back rooms staring out a window.
“Do you have a minute?” I ask.
He turns and asks, “What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you’re still going forward with the trade proposition.”
“We have to keep Ivan out of Halsey. Hoyt and I are meeting with him later today.”
Pop turns back to the window. Andy’s death seems to be affecting him more than I’d have guessed.
I walk over to where he stands. “You all right?”
“You know how I get when shit like this happens.”
“Yeah, I do.” I put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze. “But Pop, you can’t beat yourself up over this. It isn’t your fault.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it isn’t. Like you said, Andy’s demons got the best of him.”
He turns to me. “How did I not see this coming?”
“No one can see the future,” I say, even though I saw this coming a long time ago.
“I let Andy down and put the Club at risk in the process.”
I lean close and make direct eye contact. “You did not do this. Andy did it because he was fucked up and refused to take responsibility for his shit. Period.”
Pop shrugs. “What’s done is done.”
Storm clouds roll in and I hurry home. As I pull into the driveway, the first few raindrops begin to fall. I’ve barely stepped into my house when my cell phone rings. It’s Candace. In no mood for her crap, I let the call roll to voicemail. She leaves a message followed by a text. I don’t listen to the voicemail, but I read the text message.
Candace: Plz answer your phone. We need to talk.
I haven’t talked to her since the night of the Club’s party and she’s probably going crazy as a result. I’m in no mood to hear how much she misses me, but if I don’t respond, she’ll just keep bugging me.
Me: It’s been a bad day, Candace. I’ll catch up with you later.
Candace: This can’t wait until later. It’s important.
Me: Unless it’s a matter of life or death, it’ll have to wait.
Candace: It is a matter of life.
Me: Forget it. I’m not in the mood to play games.
Ten minutes later she texts me a picture. A positive pregnancy test. The message that follows it says: This isn’t a game.
My blood runs cold and my gut twists with a mixture of anger and fear. Anger that she’s lying just to get my attention and fear that it might be true. She calls again and I answer on the first ring. “I’m on my way.”
This has to be bullshit. I was always careful. We never fucked without a condom. In a stupefied daze, I drive to Candace’s, not quite sure what I’ll do once I get there. The rain pelts my face and lightning brightens the sky as I saunter to her door. The door swings open before I have the chance to knock.
I push past her into the living room. “What kind of shit are you trying to pull? There’s no fucking way you’re pregnant.”
She stomps into the bathroom and slams the door. A few minutes later she returns and jams a pregnancy test stick into my hand. The test window shows two pink lines. “I’m pregnant and it’s yours.”
My heart thuds and I’m overcome with a chill. I can’t think. I can’t talk. All I can do is focus on the plastic stick of doom in my hand. I drop it and grip the back of my head with both hands. This can’t be happening.
“Do you have anything to say?” she asks.
“I always wore a condom.”
“Remember the night of your party?”
I do now.
The rubber broke.
“You said you were on the pill. Or were you lying?”
“I have never lied to you. I am on the pill.”
Bile rises in my throat. On weak legs, I walk to the couch and sit. I rub my face with both hands. “You’re sure it’s mine?”
“Of course I’m sure. I’m not the one who’s been running around with someone else.”
I shoot her a dirty look. I’m not running around with anyone. I’m with Sophie. At least I am for now. Once Sophie finds out, she’ll tell me to get fucked.
Candace returns my glare as she stands before me. “I can’t do this alone, Rooter. Like it or not, you’re going to be a father. I need you to be around.”
I’m going to be a father. Having kids was always an abstract idea. I’ve never given it much thought until now. I guess I assumed I’d have them one day. But not like this and not with Candace. My eyes zero in on the bowl of M&M’s on the coffee table. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
Candace sits next to me. “I know you’re freaking out. So am I. My whole life is turned upside down. I don’t know what I’m going to do and I’m scared.”
How am I going to explain this to Sophie?
As much as I don’t want this to be happening, I can’t undo it. And having experienced the pain of being abandoned by my father, there’s no way in hell I’d do that to a child of my own. I won’t abandon its mother either. I just pray I can find a way to make Sophie understand.
Candace lays her head on my shoulder. “A part of me can’t help thinking this is a sign.”
I pull away. “A sign?”
“We’re meant to be together, Rooter. I feel it now more than ever.”
As I sit on the porch waiting for Sophie to get home from work, lightning flashes in the sky and rain batters the porch roof as thunder cracks in the distance. It’s a fitting setting for the day I’ve had.
I reminisce about the times Sophie and I have spent together. The feeling of her lips on mine when I kissed her after her break in. The look on her face when I told her I intended to make her mine. The way she laughs when I say or do something crazy. The passion and trust in her eyes last night.
Now I have to tell her Candace, a woman she can’t stand, is pregnant with my child. I at least must assume she is until I can get a DNA test. Candace has never lied to me though. And I don’t believe she would. She’d be too afraid of the repercussions. Candace knows I’d never forgive her and she’d be denounced by everyone connected to the Club. I can’t imagine she’d take that risk.
I won’t tell Sophie about the pregnancy tonight after she’s worked all day. I’ll tell her tomorrow. The realization that tonight may be my last night with her has my stomach in knots.
My phone rings, the ring tone indicating it’s Sophie. A song by her favorite boy bander even though I detest his music. But it’s her favorite song, and it makes me think of her. The other day it came on the radio and I found myself humming to it the way she does.
If she’s calling this late, there must be a problem. I sit upright and answer. “Babe?”
“My tires have been slashed.”
And I thought the day couldn’t get any worse. “I’m on my way.”
When I pull into The Grand’s parking lot, Sophie’s car sits on flattened tires. Rain pours as I get out of my truck to inspect the damage. The words bitch, cunt, and whore are scratched into her driver’s side door. I hear water splashing and in my peripheral I see Sophie coming my way.
“That bitch did this,” she says.
“Who, Candace?” I ask, unable to take my eyes from the words on her door.
“Yeah.”
I shake my head. I was with Candace for most of the evening discussing our predicament. Andy is dead, and I doubt it was Ivan. That leaves only one other person. Mike.
“Why are you shaking your head?” She gestures to the door with her hand. “This is her!”
“Get in the truck,” I say, reeling from what I’ve just seen. The cocksucker has fucked with the wrong girl. He’s going to pay dearly for it.
“I should say goodbye to Ryan.” She turns back to his car.
It’s pouring rain and I’m out of patience. She needs to get into the damn truck. I wave at Ryan from where we stand and tug Sophie toward my truck. I open the door and help her into the cab.
Once in the truck I turn to Sophie as I back the truck out of the parking space. “This was Mike.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think so. It was that bitch. I know it.”
I blow out a breath and count to ten to keep my cool before trying to reason with her. “Candace doesn’t know where you work.”
She rolls her eyes. “She could’ve followed me.”
“Sophie, I realize you hate her,” I borderline shout, “but I’m telling you she did not do this.”
“Why are you always defending her?”
My knuckles turn white from squeezing the steering wheel. “I do not always defend her! But right now I am because I know she didn’t do it.”
She gasps and spins in my direction. “How do you know?”
Fuck. “Sophie, Mike did this. Plain and simple.”
“Tell me how you know!”
Grinding my teeth, I punch the steering wheel. Thanks to my poor choice of words, Sophie’s deduced I’ve been with Candace today and I won’t lie to her. Might as well get it over with. I swerve into the parking lot of a burger joint and slam on the brakes. Sophie smashes into the dash as we come to a sudden stop.
“What the hell?” she asks and grabs her shoulder.
I open my mouth, but can’t find the words. I take Sophie’s hand and hold it tight as I look into her eyes. My heart stutters as I try to find the words to break her heart. Everything is ruined. I’m going to lose her and there isn’t a goddamn thing I can do about it. At this moment, I’m not sure who I’m more pissed at, Mike or myself.
“Rooter, what’s going on?”
I turn and look out the windshield trying to summon the courage to tell her about the pregnancy. “This entire day has been completely fucked up. I might as well make it a little bit worse.”
“What is it?”
I make a steeple with my fingers, covering my nose and take a slow, deep breath. “The reason I know Candace isn’t the one who vandalized your car is because I was with her.”
“Why were you with her?”
I turn to Sophie and caress her cheek, possibly for the last time. How many times have I promised to never hurt her? Yet here I am getting ready to shatter that promise. “She texted me earlier this evening. Said we needed to talk. I told her to forget it. That I wasn’t playing any more games with her.”
I drop my hand and turn back to the windshield. My heart slams in my chest and I feel as though I might vomit. “She texted me a picture,” I say and pause, shaking my head with shame, “of a positive pregnancy test.”
Sophie gasps and in my peripheral I see her rapidly shaking her head. She breathes in and out in fast, shallow breaths, but doesn’t say anything so I continue.
“I went over there to call her out on more bullshit so she took another test. It was positive.”
“You’re sure it’s yours?”
“I can’t be sure without a DNA test,” I rub the back of my neck, “but there was one time… the condom broke.”
Her mouth drops, and she sucks in a breath before flinging herself at me and smacking my face and chest. “How can you be so goddamn stupid?”
I take hold of her hands and shove her against the passenger door to get her to stop hitting me. She may be female, but she’s damn strong. “You’re right. I am stupid. Sophie, I’m so sorry.”
“Take me home.” She pushes me away.
The look in her eyes is angry, distant. Nothing I might say will make things better.
We ride in complete silence as Sophie chews her nails and looks out the passenger side window. Although I yearn to talk to her, to make her understand, I don’t know what to say. The instant my truck comes to a stop in the driveway she jumps out and makes a mad dash for her house. Luckily, I catch her before she can get inside.
“Sophie, please talk to me,” I plead as we stand in the rain.
“I can’t. Not right now.” Facing away from me, she lowers her head. “Like you said, this day has been completely fucked up and all I want to do right now is sleep. Alone.”
“I know you’re mad—”
“Mad?” she hollers and spins to face me. Her hands are balled into fists and anger rages in her eyes. “What I am goes way beyond mad, Rooter! There is no word in any language that can describe what I’m feeling right now!”
“I’m not comfortable leaving you alone knowing it was Mike who slashed your tires.” It’s the truth, but I’m mostly uncomfortable with how angry she is. I’m afraid I’ll never see her again.
She stomps up the porch stairs. “Well, you sure as hell aren’t staying here tonight.”
Overcome with panic I dash past her and block the door. “I’ll sleep on the couch. Who knows what that whacked out fuck is liable to try next.”
“Then send Bear over, because you’re not stepping one foot into this house.”
“Promise me you’ll talk to me tomorrow and I’ll leave.”
She rolls her eyes and speaks through clenched teeth. “We’ll talk when I’m ready and not before then.”
I cross my arms and widen my stance. Although I appear confident, I’m exactly the opposite. “Tell me we’ll talk tomorrow or I’m not leaving.”
“If you don’t leave, I may never speak to you again.”
“Tell me you’ll talk to me tomorrow.”
“Fine! Just leave!”
I speak slowly, “Say you promise we’ll talk tomorrow.”
She squeezes her eyes shut and sighs. “I promise to talk to you tomorrow.”
If I had it my way, we’d stay up all night talking this through until I make her understand how sorry I am and I earn her forgiveness. But that isn’t an option. Reluctantly, I step away from the door to let her open it. When she steps inside, I take her hand. This may be my last chance to touch her. “Good night, Sophie.”
Without a word, she closes the door.