I start for my bike when Miranda calls my name.
“Sophie isn’t home,” she says as she walks toward me. “I told her what happened. She figured you’d go looking for her and left.”
“Do you know where she is?”
Miranda shakes her head and hands me her phone. On the screen is a text from Sophie: Yeah, I just don’t know what to say. I’m glad he knows the truth, but it doesn’t change anything.
I hand the phone back to her. “If you find out where she is, let me know?”
“Yeah,” she agrees.
“Thanks.”
Candace is crying as she loads her car with her things.
I turn to Bear. “Help her? I want her gone ASAP.”
I go inside my house and ring Sophie’s phone, but it goes to voicemail. I call right back. Again, it goes to voicemail. This time, I leave a message.
“Sophie, please talk to me. I’m so sorry for everything. Please answer the phone…”
Not knowing what else to say, I hang up and consider calling again. It’d be useless. She won’t answer. But I can’t give up. If I have to call and text all day and night, I won’t stop until she talks to me.
I send a text: Please answer. I know you have ur phone. I saw ur text to Miranda. Sophie, I’m so so so so so sorry. Please talk to me.
I’m surprised by her quick reply: I can’t talk to you. Not right now. I need time.
No way am I giving her time. Not until she hears me out. I call again. Voicemail. I send another text: I’ll just keep calling and texting until u answer.
Sophie: I’ll block your number.
Does she really think that’d stop me?
Me: I’ll get another phone, and then another, and then another. Just answer and talk to me.
Sophie: I’ll change my number. Leave me alone.
Me: Just hear me out and if u still want me to leave u alone, I promise I will.
Sophie: I can’t.
Me: I don’t want to do this, but if u don’t answer I’ll be at The Grand tomorrow when u get there. Either way, we’re talking. We can either do it now on the phone or tomorrow in person. U pick. If u don’t call I’ll assume u want to talk in person.
Two minutes later, my phone rings. “Baby, I’m so sorry.”
“Rooter, this doesn’t change anything.” Her voice is resolute.
“How can you say that? It changes everything.”
“No, it doesn’t. What happened still happened. I scared her and she fell down the stairs. If she had been pregnant, she could’ve lost the baby, and you’d still hate me.”
I pace my living room. “But she wasn’t pregnant, Babe. She set us up. This is all her fault,” my voice falters. “I never hated you.”
If only Sophie knew how miserable I’ve been without her. How I haven’t been able to think about anything but her…
“Yes, you did. I saw it in your eyes. I heard it in your voice. You meant it when you said you never wanted to see me again.”
“Babe, I was mad. I lost it and said things I didn’t mean.”
“Let me ask you something. This morning, before you found out the truth, how did you feel? Did you hate me this morning?”
No, I didn’t hate her, but the anger and sorrow was still there. “This morning, I was still grieving the loss of a child, but I’ve missed you every second you’ve been gone.”
“You moved on rather quickly for someone who misses me. You moved her in the very next day.”
How can she possibly think that? “It wasn’t like that, Sophie. She was staying in the guest room. I was helping her recuperate and get back on her feet.”
She sighs. “Too much damage has been done. There’s no coming back from this.”
Her words break me and a sob escapes my lips as tears fall from my eyes. I have no shame. I want her to know how very sorry I am and how much she means to me. “No Baby, don’t say that. I can make this right. I can fix it. I’ll do whatever you say. Just come home.”
She speaks through tears of her own. “Rooter, do you care about me?”
More than anything in this world. My body is wracked by tremors as I cry. “Baby, I love you so much that it’s breaking me in two. And you love me.”
“If you love me, let me go.” She’s crying so hard, her words are barely coherent. “Please just let me go.”
No, Baby, no. Please don’t do this. Give me another chance. Those are the words I want to say and I almost do. But I don’t deserve another chance. “That’s what you really want?”
“It’s what I need.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’ll never forgive myself.” If anyone else caused her this much pain, I’d slaughter them.
“I have to go. Goodbye, Rooter.”
This is it. Our final goodbye. I’ve lost my only love forever.
“Goodbye, Sophie.”
I drop to the floor on my knees. The pain cuts deep. It’s unbearable. I can’t do this. I can’t be without Sophie. I wrap my arms around myself and scream.
Laying on the floor, I cry until the anger overtakes my sadness. I want to kill something, anything, maybe even myself. I pick up the coffee table and throw it as far as I can. It ends up on the dining room table where I see Candace’s food. I slam it against the wall before grabbing one of the dining room chairs and chucking it through a window. Anything and everything in sight gets obliterated in my wake.
A pair of strong arms grab me from behind. Bear speaks, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. I try to wrestle out of his grasp, but he’s a strong son-of-a-bitch.
“Let me go!”
“Calm down, Rooter!” He takes me down to the floor. “Destroying your house won’t bring her back.”
It’s been three agonizing days. I’ve tried to do as Sophie asked and let her go, but being without her is like being deprived of food and water. She is my nourishment, my life.
Yesterday, I rented a compact car—something Sophie would never believe I’d drive—in an attempt to be inconspicuous. Earlier, I followed her and Ryan to a flea market. Ryan did his best to make her smile and laugh, being the great friend he is. But even when she smiled, her sadness was evident. She’s every bit as miserable as me.
Now, I’m parked across the street from their place, in full stalker mode with binoculars in hand. I’m cramped and claustrophobic in this ridiculous contraption they call a vehicle, but if I get out I’ll risk being seen. The discomfort is a small price to pay to be able to see Sophie’s sweet face.
To pass the time, I listen to music—Sophie’s kind—and play games on my phone. Before I know it, it’s evening. I just now realize I haven’t eaten today. Oh, well. Doesn’t matter. I’m not hungry, anyway.
Sophie and Ryan come out and get into his car. I follow behind, keeping my distance. They pull into the Red Door parking lot. Rather than pull in after them, I circle the block. By the time I make it back around, they’re already inside. I wait fifteen minutes to make sure they’ve gotten settled before going in.
There’s no doorman tonight and no cover charge to pay. It’s busier than I would imagine for a Sunday. A good thing as it offers me cover. I’m less likely to be noticed.
There’s a dark area in the back of the bar where hardly anyone ever sits. There’s no one there now. I take the long way there, along the perimeter of the bar. Sophie is off to the far right, close to where we sat the night we were here together.
Memories of that night bombard my mind. Sophie in her dress. Us on the dance floor. Making out on the ride home. The strip tease. Waking up with her body draped across mine. Definitely one of the best nights of my life. All of my nights with her were the best of my life.
Three beers later, I need to hit the John. But Sophie’s out on the dance floor with her friend Abby. She’s sexy as ever. I’d give anything to be out there with her, feeling her body move against mine. I don’t want to miss anything, but my bladder protests.
When I exit the men’s room, Sophie’s nowhere to be found. Ryan’s still here, so she must be as well. Unless she left with Abby… Both girls have had a lot to drink. Surely, Ryan wouldn’t let either of them drive drunk.
Before I can panic, the girls emerge from the hallway I just came from. They must’ve been in the ladies room. That was a close call. We could have come out at the same time.
Ryan is on the dance floor with Sophie now, but Ryan’s guy friend, date, whatever, comes out and wants to dance with him. Sophie looks for Abby who’s flirting with a guy she appears to have just met. Sophie starts to walk off the dance floor, but a guy approaches her and asks her to dance. My heart skips a beat.
Please say no, please say no.
Thank God she turns him down. If she hadn’t, I would be on that dance floor cutting in.
The night winds down. The bartender asks if they’d like another round and they say no which I take as my cue to leave.
After following Sophie around for a few days, I return the rental car. I feel pathetic and more than a little creepy. Following her just makes me miss her more. It’s awful being near her, but unable to speak with or touch her. It reminds me of what I can’t have.
Later that evening, Bear stops by the house before he and Miranda leave for dinner. He’s asked me to meet him for drinks a couple nights this week and I’ve refused. He’s worried I’m becoming a “shut-in.” If only he knew I’ve spent the last few days in a car spying on Sophie. He’d be more concerned.
“You want to join us?” he offers. “Miranda won’t mind.”
“No thanks, man. Me and Dopey are going to gorge on junk food and watch reruns.”
“You can’t spend all your time in this house. Come with us.”
My phone rings.
My heart stutters as Sophie’s name flashes on the screen. “Sophie?”
“Mike’s here,” she whispers, her voice laced with fear. “I’m scared.”
I hear pounding and the sound of Mike screaming in the background.
“Oh my God,” she whimpers, “he’s kicking the door.”
That motherfucker is dead.
I put the phone on speaker and motion for Bear to follow me as I grab my keys and run for my truck.
“Stay on the phone with me,” I tell her as I fire up the engine. “We’re on our way.”
“I’m at Ryan’s. He lives on—”
“I know where it’s at.”
Mike screams something about making her pay. Bear sends a text to Miranda to tell her there’s been an emergency and that he’s with me.
“I don’t know what to do,” Sophie’s small voice shakes.
I’m scared for her, but I must stay calm. If I freak out, she’ll be even more afraid.
“Grab your gun and lock yourself in a room,” I tell her. “The more barriers you put between you the longer it’ll take him to get to you.”
Less than a minute later she tells me she’s in Ryan’s bathroom.
“I can hear him screaming,” she says. “He’s going to break in.”
There’s no way I’ll get there before he gets in.
“Stay where you are and keep your gun at the ready. If he gets into the bathroom before I get there you fire immediately. Do you hear me?”
“Yes,” her voice cracks.
My hands tremble, a mixture of fury and fear. Is she capable of defending herself against him? Or will their history prevent her from doing what needs to be done? “Sophie, he’s dangerous. He isn’t the Mike you used to know.”
“I know.”
“I’m only ten minutes away,” I say, but ten minutes feels like forever. Please God, keep her safe until I get there. “Hold on, Babe. Everything will be okay.”
I hear a loud noise followed by Mike’s voice. He must be in the house.
“He’s inside the house,” she cries.
“Stay calm, Sophie.” I keep my voice steady and smooth although I feel the opposite. “Remember the night when those guys broke into your house? You were so calm and collected. I need you to be that way now.”
“I was only calm because you were there.”
There’s more banging followed by Mike hollering.
“I’m driving as fast as I can,” I say. “Just hold it together until I get there.”
“Please hurry,” she begs.
“Baby, I’m coming.”
There is a loud thud followed by more of Mike’s screaming. He has no idea what’s coming for him. I should have ended him when I had the chance.
“He’s kicking Ryan’s bedroom door,” Sophie mutters.
“I’m going to fucking kill him.”
There’s another loud crashing sound and Sophie cries out. “Oh God, he’s in the bedroom.”
“He’s probably going to make it to you before I get there. Do not hesitate to shoot him.”
I hear Mike say, “Sophie, if you make me bust through another door, I’ll be really pissed off.”
“Tell him I’m on my way,” I seethe.
“Rooter’s on his way, Mike,” Sophie says. “He’ll be here any minute. You better leave before he gets here.”
Mike laughs. “Yeah right. He doesn’t want anything to do with you. He left you high and dry like I knew he would.”
“I’m serious Mike,” Sophie says. “I’m on the phone with him right now.”
Mike tells her it won’t matter because she’ll be dead before I get there. Ice runs through my veins. If anything happens to her…
“If you hurt me, he’ll kill you!” Sophie screams.
I’m going to kill him, anyway.
Mike laughs again and says it doesn’t matter.
He probably doesn’t care about his life, and probably won’t give a damn when I unload every round in my gun into his head.
“Mike, please don’t do this,” Sophie cries.
I’m so close, yet so far. I silently beg for God to let me get to her before it’s too late.
I hear a series of loud bangs.
Sophie sobs. “He’s going to break the door down.”.
“Put the phone down and aim,” I command. “You shoot the moment he comes through the door.”
I hear her moving about as the banging continues. I pray she has the strength to do this. Seconds tick by slowly.
“I have my gun,” she yells. “I swear I’ll shoot you.”
Mike laughs followed by the sound of a gunshot. Sophie screams. Terror rips through me.
“Sophie! Sophie!”
Several shots are fired. My body tenses with each one.
“Sophie! Pick up the phone Sophie!”
“I shot him through the door,” Sophie pants, breathless. “I can’t hear anything.”
“I heard over five shots. Are you okay?”
“Yes. He didn’t hit me.”
I exhale a breath of relief. “I’m almost there. Can you see him?”
“He’s on the floor, not moving. I think I killed him.” She hyperventilates. “Oh my God, I think I killed him.”
“It’s okay, Sophie.” I fly down her street. “Stay put until I’m with you.”
“O-kay,” she chokes.
We finally arrive, and I slam on the brakes and throw the truck into park. With my gun in hand, I sprint to the open front door.
“I’ve got your back, Brother,” Bear says.
“Sophie!” I yell as I enter the premises, following the path of destruction to a back room.
“Rooter!” Sophie screams my name.
I round the corner into the bedroom. Sophie’s eyes lock with mine. I start to run in her direction when I see movement.
It happens so fast.
On the floor, Mike has his gun aimed at Sophie.
“Sophie!” I scream.
I reach for her, pull her to me and spin us around.
Splintering pain tears through me.
Sophie screams my name.
The fog lifts.
I hear beeping and strange voices.
And then I remember.
Mike. His gun. He was aiming at Sophie.
My eyes open. The room is bright. Too bright.
I’m in a hospital.
I look around, frantic.
Sophie’s not here.
“Sophie!” I try to holler, but my voice wavers.
“Sophie!” I holler again, this time a little louder.
An unknown voice tells me to calm down. The nurses hold me down, but they don’t understand. I need to get to Sophie. I need to know if she’s all right.
“Where’s Sophie?” I struggle to sit up, but they won’t allow me.
“We need you to calm down Mr. Russo,” the male nurse says.
“Where’s Sophie? Is she okay?”
“We need to examine you, Jace,” another nurse says. “We’ll bring your family in when we’re done.”
“No! I need to know where Sophie is!” I fight with all my might to get up. If they won’t tell me where she is, I’ll find her myself.
They push me down harder. “Lie still!” the male nurse demands.
“No goddammit! Where is Sophie?”
I scream her name, again and again, all the while fighting to break free.
I tug at the wires connected to me and the nurses yell at me to stop, but I don’t care.
“Sophie! Where’s Sophie?”
And then I hear her angelic voice. “I’m here.”
I calm at once. “Sophie?” I lean over to see around one of the nurses. Every movement sends searing pain through me, but I don’t care.
“I’m here,” she says, “it’s okay, calm down.”
My beautiful girl is safe. I sigh in relief and pull her close. “Babe, you’re okay.”
Her hand is soft and warm as she strokes my cheek. “You saved me.”
“Will you relax now?” The male nurse asks, breathless.
I nod and everyone except Sophie leaves the room.
“I’ve never been so scared in my life,” I say and pull Sophie so that she’s sitting next to me on the bed.
“You?” She shakes her head. “You have no idea what fear is. You were shot and have been sedated on a ventilator since last night.”
“He could’ve shot you.” My eyes well up as I recall the scene.
“It should’ve been me.”
“No. Never say that.” I wipe away her tears.
“You could’ve died.”
“Better me than you.” If she would’ve died, I would’ve been right behind her. I could never live without her.
She shakes her head. “I’d rather be dead than live in a world where you don’t exist,” her voice cracks. “I love you.”
My lips spread into the widest smile. Everything is right in the world once again. “I love you, too.”
Sophie rests her forehead on mine and whispers, “Please don’t leave me again.”
“I’ll never leave you Baby.” She need never worry about that. I take her face into my hands and press my lips to hers. “I swear to fucking God, I will murder anything and anyone who tries to come between us.”
Three days later, I’m released from the hospital early. Evidently, I’m a faster healer than most. I’ve still got a long way to go for a full recovery, but I’m well enough to go home as long as I have someone staying with me. Sophie graciously offered. If I have it my way, she’ll be living with me permanently.
As we lay in bed, a rerun of I Dream Of Jeannie is playing, but I’m not paying attention to it. Instead, I’m gazing at my girl, running my fingers through her hair. There’s a content smile on her face.
“I don’t want you to call me Rooter anymore,” I say.
Sophie stares at me, her mouth hanging open. “What?”
“I want you to call me Jace from now on.”
“You do?” She rolls over to face me.
I place a delicate kiss on her hand. “I haven’t been able to talk about it before now, but losing you did something to me. It changed me. When you called me that night… When he pointed his gun at you I knew nothing in this world means as much to me as you do. The only thing that matters is making you happy and being what you need.”
She cups my face with her palm. “You are what I need. You do make me happy. You don’t need to change.”
“I’m not changing.” I assure her. “Rooter will always be my alter ego. Hell, I’m sure the guys in the Club will always call me that. But when you look at me that’s not what I want you to see. I want you to see the good in me.”
Her eyes soften. “I’ve always seen the good in you.”
I pull Sophie to me and kiss the top of her head. “I never felt pain like I felt when you asked me to let you go. And it wasn’t just the pain of losing you. It was knowing the pain I caused you.” I pull back because I want to be looking in her eyes when I say the rest. “I know I made this promise before and failed, but I swear I’ll never hurt you again, Sophie. You’re everything to me. I love you.”
“I love you, Rooter,” she cries.
“Jace, Baby. Call me Jace.”