THIRTY

Jennifer didn’t come downstairs the next morning until almost noon. Gail wasn’t surprised; she knew that Jennifer hadn’t slept much; if at all. Neither had she or Jack.

Several times during the night, Gail had heard Jennifer going to the bathroom, getting a drink of water, pacing back and forth. Gail had debated going to her to try to explain herself again, but she knew there was no point in that. She had overreacted, to be sure. Some simple teenage groping, she tried to tell herself, repeating the words over and over in her mind until at last, she had drifted off to sleep.

Jack had gotten out of bed early that morning, telling her that he needed to get out into the cold fresh air and clear his head. He had been greatly upset by the scene she had created, although he had said nothing, recognizing, as she did, that everything had already been said. He was still out when Gail had finished her shower and come downstairs.

She had settled herself at the kitchen table with the latest edition of the Sunday Times and read a story about a woman put in jail for contempt of court after refusing—because she feared for her life—to testify against the two men accused of raping her. The two men were free. Another story concerned a convicted killer, due for parole after serving seven years of a life sentence, who had had his parole rescinded because of the vehement protest of the outraged citizens of the area. However, the state appeals court had ruled that public outcry was no reason for denying someone parole, and there was still a good chance that the killer might be set free. According to one prison official, this killer of one teenage boy, rapist of three young women, and a person who had committed close to a dozen lesser felonies, had a “less than average” potential for violence.

Gail was still reading the paper when Jennifer came into the kitchen just before noon. She immediately folded up the newspaper and rose to greet her.

“Do you want some breakfast?” she asked, noting that Jennifer had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, her face covered with blotches. Jennifer avoided looking directly at her mother, picking at her fingers and scratching at something on the kitchen table.

“I’m not hungry,” she said.

“Thirsty? Some orange juice?”

Jennifer closed her eyes and looked at the floor. “Okay,” she answered at last.

Gail went to the refrigerator and poured her daughter a tall glass of juice. “Did you manage to get any sleep?” Jennifer shook her head, taking the glass from her mother’s outstretched hand and lifting it to her lips, though she made no attempt to drink. “I thought maybe you were able to fall asleep this morning,” Gail continued, afraid, though she wasn’t sure why.

Jennifer shook her head. “I’ve been on the phone most of the morning.”

Gail was clearly surprised. “Oh? I didn’t hear you.”

“I was talking to Eddie.” Jennifer lowered her glass of juice to the table without having taken a sip.

“How is he?” Gail asked, genuinely concerned. “I’ll have to call him later and apologize.”

“I don’t think he’d want you to do that.”

“I think I should.”

“Please, Mom,” Jennifer begged, “don’t make things any worse than they are.”

“Okay,” Gail acquiesced. “I won’t call him if you don’t want me to. You can tell him for me how sorry I am about the things I said.”

Jennifer raised her gaze from the floor to her mother. “I won’t be speaking to him,” she said slowly, fresh tears springing to her eyes. “He says he doesn’t think we should see each other for a while.” Her voice was plaintive, disbelieving.

“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry—”

“Sorry?! How can you say you’re sorry?” Jennifer demanded. “It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? You wanted us to break up. You’ve been after me for months. Well, you did it, you finally did it. You got what you wanted, so don’t you dare try to tell me that you’re sorry. Because you’re not. You’re glad!”

“No, honey, I’m not. I’m really not. Please let me go over there. I’m sure if I talked to him, explained—”

“No,” Jennifer said strongly. “I don’t want you to go over there. He said he was up all night with pains in his stomach, and that he talked it over with his parents, and they think it’s for the best this way.” There was a long pause. “There’s something else.”

“What’s that?” Gail asked.

“I spoke to Dad. Right after I finished talking to Eddie.”

“And?” Gail waited for the second shoe to drop. Jennifer took a long, deep breath, then plunged in. “I want to go and live with them.” Gail felt instantly lightheaded and grabbed onto the back of the chair in front of her. “They said that if that’s what I really wanted, then that was fine with them. They have the room; they said it was okay. Julie could use some help around the house, and I’ll be able to help out more when the baby comes.”

“What are you talking about?” Gail demanded.

“I’m going to move in with Dad and Julie,” Jennifer repeated.

“But why? Just because a boy says he doesn’t want to see you anymore …?”

“Not just because of that. Because of a lot of things, not just because of Eddie or even because of what happened last night.”

“It won’t happen again, honey, I promise.”

“Mom, you’re not listening to me. It’s not just what happened last night. Oh, that’s part of it. It’s what brought things to a head. But it was bound to happen sooner or later. If not last night then some other time. Mom, I feel like I’m in jail. I can’t breathe. I need some room to breathe.”

“I’ll give you room.”

“You can’t, Mom. You can’t.”

Gail sank down into the chair.

“When are you planning on leaving?” she asked, hearing her voice break.

“Mark should be here in a few minutes.” Gail was stunned by the speed with which everything was happening. “I’m already packed,” Jennifer explained.

“You’ve been very busy,” Gail said. “Sorry,” she apologized quickly. “I didn’t mean to be sarcastic.”

“It’s okay.” Jennifer retrieved her glass of juice from the table and downed its contents in one long gulp.

When Mark came to pick Jennifer up some twenty minutes later, Jack was waiting for him at the front door.

“Hello, Jack,” Gail heard Mark say. If he was at all uncomfortable, it didn’t register in his voice.

How ironic, Gail thought. Now Mark would be the one to have two children while she had none.

“Jennifer’s doing a last-minute check of her things,” Jack explained as Gail walked into the room. “I’m not sure I understand what’s happening here,” he continued. “I just got home ten minutes ago. Gail said Jennifer has decided to live with you and Julie for a while.”

“It wasn’t my idea,” Mark said, more to Gail than to her husband.

“It never is,” Gail told him simply.

“I’m sure that after she’s had time to cool off, she’ll want to come back,” Mark continued, ignoring the inference.

Gail said nothing as Jennifer joined them in the living room.

“All set?” Mark asked, obviously relieved by her presence.

Jennifer nodded. Mark picked up her suitcases and quickly headed for the door.

“You can always change your mind,” Gail told her daughter quietly.

“I know.”

Gail leaned forward and hugged Jennifer tightly to her chest. “Bye, baby.”

“Goodbye, Mom.”

Minutes later, Gail and Jack stood alone, facing each other from opposite sides of the room. Jack made no attempt at conversation; he didn’t have to. Soon there will be nothing left, his eyes were saying clearly. There has to be some solution.