CHAPTER SIXTEEN

 

 

Hello?

“Hey, you fucking loser. It’s Cypress.”

Hello?

“Hello? Can you hear me?”

Who is this?

“Cypress!”

I’m sorry. Who exactly are you trying to reach?

“Goddammit, Chris. It’s me. Quit fucking ar—”

Ha, ha, ha. Fooled you, sucker. You’re talking to a machine. A simulation of a human. A simple mimic. Technology is slowly but surely taking over our culture. Big Brother is watching your every move. Soon we will all be nothing more than automatons. Question reality on a daily basis. You never know when you’re going to get blindsided. You’ve reached the residence of Christopher Faith. Leave a coded message at the beep, so the Feds can’t trace us.

Beep.

“Ugh, you are such a serious asshole. I was almost having second thoughts about telling you this, but after that stupid bullshit I think you deserve to be humiliated. No more Ms. Nice Girl. Just remember, at least I’m not being a complete bitch and doing this in public. I’m not that heartless. It’s about your, uh, girlfriend, if you really want to call her that. Get it? Figure out what I’m trying to get through your skull yet, you lamebrain? No? Well let me spell it out for y—.”

Beep.

Click.

“Goddammit!”

Redial.

Message repeat.

“Fucking piece of shit machine. So, like I was saying, this guy I know told me something very interesting at your show the other night, about your current little bed buddy. Wake the hell up. Call me. Now. I’d rather tell you than your stupid machine anyway. I’m dying to hear your reaction. Fucking priceless. It’ll make all of the bullshit between us so worth it. And let me go ahead and get this out of the way ahead of time. No, I am not making this shit up.”

Click.

Dial tone.