And Now a Word from Our Sponsor: Citizen Zane Properties
FADE IN:
INT. SOUND STUDIO – DAY
A miniature scale model of Sweetville sits atop a walnut dining table. It sparkles beneath professional lighting. The background is draped in silver velvet.
GREYSON ZANE, a debonair chap in his early 30s, stares deep into the camera. His eyes are sly and seductive. The gel n his hair glistens like moonlit mud. His bespoke navy blue suit perfectly hugs every bend of his body.
The beginning notes of an instantly recognizable Jacuzzi jazz song meander in the background. Saxophone to soothe the soul.
GREYSON
Hello, I’m Greyson Zane.
ORIN ZANE appears immediately behind Greyson. He is an exact replica. Not a trick of the camera’s eye.
ORIN
And I’m Orin Zane.
GREYSON AND ORIN
We are the CEOs of Citizen Zane Property Investments, here to make all of your financial dreams come true.
The view alternates between each man so they eventually become almost indistinguishable.
GREYSON
Have you ever wondered what to do with the extra money wasting away in your second and third bank accounts?
ORIN
Just purchased a treasury bill with an unfortunately large IOU from Uncle Sam?
GREYSON
Stocks paying out high dividends?
ORIN
Or are you a recent beneficiary to a trust fund that is now burning a nasty hole in the pockets of your Gucci slacks?
The brothers double clap in unison.
GREYSON AND ORIN
We can help!
GREYSON
We have the inside track on how to properly invest your money with little to no headache.
Orin casually thumbs a stack of hundred-dollar bills, folds it into a silver money clip, places it into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, then straightens his tie.
ORIN
Yes, my brother is correct, if not somewhat modest. With Citizen Zane Property Investments, you can rest assured every dime you entrust us with will be put toward real estate that will profit you greatly. No lemons, no money pits, no ghetto shacks here. only the finest homes in the Sweethills and awe-inspiring brand new, high-rise condominiums downtown, all just waiting to be remodeled and/or rented for maximum profit margins.
GREYSON AND ORIN
Gentrification is purification.
INTERCUT MAP OF SWEETVILLE
A community map of Sweetville fills the screen. Pushpins highlight the most desirable areas within the city limits.
SUPER (flashing): “ACTUAL PROPERTIES MAY VARY”
INTERCUT GREYSON AND ORIN
GREYSON
The key is location, location, location.
ORIN
We’ll never pressure you to purchase. We want you to have peace of mind that your investment is secure. We’ll treat you like the best of friends.
GREYSON
Or the closest of brothers.
ORIN
At Citizen Zane Property Investments...
GREYSON
...we keep it in the family.
The brothers stand side by side and reveal wide Cheshire Cat smiles. Their teeth gleam and sparkle like precious ivory.
They clasp each other’s hands and take a deep bow.
SUPER (scrolling): 555-ZANE
SUPER (flashing): CALL NOW FOR YOUR NO-OBLIGATION CONSULTATION