ASH SIGNED HIS name with a flourish, a stack of paperwork to get through. He did a double take as he noticed the pen hadn’t inked the page. Tutting, he threw the pen into the wastepaper bin at the side of the neat, colourful desk. He glanced back up at the photo collage on the wall, interspersed with thank you cards and little messages of gratitude.
Reaching across the neat and organised desk, he took a pen out of the pen pot and got back to work. He’d already started late, he didn’t want to leave things unfinished on his first day. Carey Cove ran like a well-oiled machine, and he could tell the staff there were committed. He didn’t want to show them anything less. As he filed the papers away, his eyes fell on the photo of Marnie again. Ash loved that she’d added her own birth photo to her wall, but he found it hard to look at just the same.
Babies were always the best part of Ash’s job. He loved it. Bringing new life into the world, seeing people creating new families. Observing them adding to that family over time. Distracting nervous dads with talk of the sports results. Seeing the love and adoration, helping them to quell their fear and enjoy the moment when another person joined the population. Every new baby he delivered had him thinking of what his might be like, one day. How it would feel to be an expectant father in the room himself. Giving control over to the team of professionals, supporting his wife as they joined the parent ranks. He’d imagined it so many times. He couldn’t wait. To be a dad, to be at the other end of the delivery room bed for once, waiting for his child.
He’d imagined everything.
Almost. He’d been stupid, he knew now. Gullible even. Naïve. He knew more than most expectant fathers. He’d seen it before first-hand. He knew the risks, the cruel twists of medical fate that could and did occur. It was life, and with that came death. It was part of the job. He’d known that. Or he’d thought he did.
Till the day he ended up leaving hospital, much later. A lifetime later. Alone. Then he knew he didn’t have to imagine any more. The worst had already happened. His family hadn’t started in that room. It had died. Despite his training and experience there had been nothing he could do to help. He couldn’t save them. There would be no car seat, no slow drive home with their precious cargo in the back seat. He’d left tear-stained and broken.
His sisters had picked him up off the floor of his living room. Literally and metaphorically. They’d fed him, bathed him, nagged him to drink less coffee and more water. To remember to eat, to sleep. They’d cleaned his house, they’d cleaned him. Ash had barely noticed. He hadn’t wanted to do any of those things for a long time. All he’d wanted was the family he’d created. The one that was gone for ever, before he’d even had a chance to enjoy it. He’d just wanted to be with them, in the early days. He’d missed them too much to function for himself.
When he finally had started to emerge from the cloud of grief, he’d known he’d had to leave. He’d had to change his scenery, to get away from the place that held so many memories of the life he’d loved but had lost for ever. His sisters had their own lives: families, friends, jobs. He loved them dearly, but he’d needed to move on. Somehow.
Babies always gave him joy, that never left him. He was grateful for that if nothing else. Grateful for the time they’d had together. He knew more than anyone how precious the moments were. So he’d gone back to his work, back into the delivery rooms filled with pain and joy and life. He’d put his own pain aside and gone back to fulfilling other families’ dreams.
Ash pulled up to his new temporary home, turning off the engine with a deep sigh. He was bone tired, the quiet of the lane he now called home soothing. It was beautiful here in Carey Cove. From the moment he’d arrived he’d really liked the feel of the close-knit beauty spot. He’d felt the same when he’d walked through the doors of Carey House. It was a good place for him to be for now. A nice little place to retreat to for a while.
The staff seemed nice too, a welcoming, friendly bunch. Tight-knit without any cliques. Everyone who walked through the doors was treated with the same smile, respect and care. The midwives ran a tight ship, but his first day had been smooth. Given that he was two weeks late to the post, their reception had been both a relief and a revelation. He rather liked it there.
He’d gone through the day-to-day running of the house details with Nya, and he felt better about his second day. He had his shift rota, and now he was ready to settle into his new temporary home and looking forward to getting to know Carey Cove and its inhabitants.
Thinking about the people he’d encountered on his first day, he found Marnie popped back into his thoughts again. He looked down at his hand as he reached the front door, keys in his other hand. When they’d touched, he’d felt something intense. A zap in his fingertips running right up his arm. He’d just stood there in shock. Like a prize fish on a plaque. Glassy-eyed and open-mouthed. She’d looked at him in confusion.
Probably wondering why I’d lost the power to control my face the second she took my hand.
She was no doubt at home now, talking to her husband about the total idiot who’d come to cover her mat leave. A woman like that would have someone to come home to.
He rubbed his tired eyes as he let himself into the cottage. The house he was staying in was so beautiful, even in the moonlight it looked inviting. Even though the windows of the place were all without light. He certainly wasn’t expecting anyone to be at home waiting for him. The thought slammed him deep in his gut. Sometimes, in some places he worked in, it made it worse. Here, he felt oddly comforted by his new digs.
His cottage was at the end of a lane, with only one other house next to his. Perfect. The night was full of the sounds of the Cornish weather around him, but nothing else. No people. Not even a dog barking. It felt oddly welcoming. Calming. Less eerie feeling than the place he’d just left. He pushed the thought away.
It felt as if a whole lifetime had passed since he’d turned up to his first shift that morning. As ever, he searched for the positives in his day, to push the dark, lonely thoughts away. Carey Cove was a definite plus point. The minute he’d arrived, he’d felt it. The magic of the place had soothed his tired bones. His first day at work had been great too.
Marnie’s hand. Wow. Where did that come from?
The minute they’d touched, it had felt as if his soul had been lit up from the inside. For half a second, when he’d locked surprised eyes with hers, he’d thought he saw a flicker of something cross her features too. Her lips had parted, her mouth falling open before she’d pulled herself back tight together before him.
Did I really see that?
He felt sure that she must have felt it too. He remembered looking down at the floor to check for scorch marks. It felt as if lightning had struck right by their feet. Madness, he knew. She was a colleague, for a start, he was the person covering her duties while she was tending to her new baby daughter. Violet, he remembered. She looked just like her mother. He’d seen it as soon as he’d set eyes on them. There was no way she would be single. She had to have a man at home, keeping the lights burning.
He turned to look at his neighbours’ cottage. It was a carbon copy of his, but a better, finished version. He found himself drawn to the warm light spilling from the windows, the interior looking neat and homely. Christmas lights hung from the roof, twinkling and lighting up the neat painted wooden window frames. The house was well kept, and that extended to the garden. Oversized candy canes on red ribbons adorned the bushes at the side of the neat lawn, and there was a dusting of snow on the inside of the windows. It looked like a festive picture postcard, and made his pad look unlived-in and pretty unloved. Like he felt. At least it was pretty. Misery loved comfort, and he shrugged as he entered the front door, closing it behind him with a deep, tired sigh.
He switched on the lights, his half-closed eyes taking in his surroundings. The living room looked comfortable. On one wall there was a swept fireplace, an armchair placed perfectly in front. He could already see himself after a long shift of delivering babies, warming his feet by the fire. He looked around the hearth and saw that there was a wicker log basket containing two logs.
Shopping trip tomorrow. Food supplies, wood. Get stocked up before the festive baby rush really gets going.
He ignored his slightly empty stomach as he worked to get the fire started with the last of the logs.
Once the fire started to lick around the logs, he sat down in the armchair, his socked feet hanging over the end as he reclined back. He needed to get showered, drag himself to bed, but he found he couldn’t muster the effort to walk up the stairs. He’d warm his feet first.
As always when he was settling into a new posting his thoughts invariably turned again to his lost family. His late wife, Chloe, their infant son, Sam. It had been several years since their passing, but the pain of their loss was lodged firmly in his heart. Less intense now, more of a dull ache, but always there, serving as a reminder to keep his heart guarded and giving him a reason to carry on with his nomadic lifestyle. And while he moved on, from place to place, he took comfort in knowing that, wherever they were, Chloe and Sam were together.
The fire crackled around him, the cosy feeling of the room amplifying as the warmth from the flames thawed out his overtired and rather cold feet. The silence of the room filled his ears, the occasional pop from the wood on the fire like a lullaby. He could just rest his eyes for a second...
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
‘Wha—?’
Ash’s head snapped up from the back of his armchair. His neck cricked in protest as he wrestled his way out of the chair. The fire had burned down, the embers still glowing red hot in the darkness of the room.
Bang! Bang!
There it went again. He managed to put his feet onto the floor, tripping over the rug in the middle of the room he hadn’t even noticed when he’d walked in. He got to the door just in time to stop the next bout of hard knocks.
‘Hello?’
Ash saw the hat before he took in the officer’s face.
‘Good evening. Could you step outside for a moment, please? We’ve had reports of a disturbance.’
‘Disturbance?’ Ash stepped out of the front door, past the police officer who had knocked him out of his slumber. ‘Where? There are just the two houses, right?’ When he looked across at the house he’d admired earlier, Ash was sure that he saw a twitch in one of the upstairs bedroom windows. A second later, he saw the light go off.
What was going on?
The officer was eyeing him, from his ruffled bedhead hair, his crumpled clothing, to his socked feet. ‘We got a call that someone had entered the property here without permission. Are you staying here?’
Ash rubbed his hand through his hair, hopping from one foot to the other to ward off the bite of the cold weather.
‘Er...yes, my first night—rental. I’m working at Carey House, as a locum midwife.’
The officer raised his brows. ‘Carey House, you say?’ Ash saw his gaze flick across to the other house, before looking beyond Ash to the open cottage door. ‘Okay, do you have identification?’
Marnie hid behind the curtain when the man standing with the officer looked up at her window. Lunging for the switch for her bedside light, she flicked it off and hid.
So there was someone there. How scary.
She’d been up feeding Violet when she’d seen lights on next door. The knowledge it was supposed to be empty had had her reaching for her phone. Violet had fallen asleep in her arms and was safely snuggled in her cot. She went to peep out of the window again and she saw the mystery man handing over some pieces of white paper to the officer, who shone a torch on the documents, nodding his head.
George! What are you doing?
Surely Carey Cove’s favourite officer wasn’t about to leave the man there. George said something to the man, shuffling one foot awkwardly, before handing the papers back and holding out his other hand. The man stepped forward, away from the cottage, and the torch shone onto his features.
Oh, Lord, no.
Marnie squeaked loudly, embarrassment and realisation making her body jolt. Violet let out a solitary cry of shock and then fell back to sleep. The two men shook hands, and George turned away to his police car. She’d have to apologise to him later for wasting his time and dragging him out in the night for nothing. She held her breath as she watched Ash shake his head in bewilderment, turn and walk back into the cottage, and close the door.
He’d looked ruffled in more ways than one. As if he’d just been woken up. She blushed at the thought of her mistaken actions. The midwife covering her job was now living next door, and she’d just called the police on him! She’d had no idea he’d be staying nearby. Seemingly alone too. No other lights had come on in the house, and no one else had come out of the door.
Was he here alone? Would he be alone at Christmas, or would someone come to join him?
She shook off the thought. It wasn’t her business. People had their own ways to live their lives. She knew that more than most. She’d recovered from a break-up, and her dreams had disappeared in front of her eyes. She hadn’t been able to see past Oliver and his betrayal for the longest time, but when she had decided her next move, she’d gone with it with her whole heart. She hadn’t stopped to think what people might say. The closest people to her were who mattered, and they were all supportive. Just as they knew she’d not made the decision lightly. They believed in her, and now she was living that dream, and Ash was here to cover for her. She didn’t want him to feel unwelcome. That was not her, or anyone at Carey House. She didn’t want to leave a bad impression of herself. It was an honest mistake.
Violet stirred again, and Marnie knew she would be up again soon. She’d fallen back asleep before getting her fill. Marnie rolled her tired eyes and moved away from the window to throw some clothes on. Once she was dressed, she went to scoop up her daughter. One sleep-mitten-clad hand was covering her face, making her look so cute Marnie had to remind herself that this little bundle was here, and hers. She smiled and lifted her daughter into her arms.
Heading to the kitchen, she reached for the baby carrier from one of the cupboards and popped Violet into it, pulling her coat over her to wrap them both up against the cold. It was a good job she’d been to the village bakery that day. She reached for the box of handmade mince pies from the polished countertop, tucking them into the nook of her arm before heading out to make things right. Hopefully she could get some sleep then.
Since Violet was born, sleep had been in short supply. Even a nap felt like a spa weekend. The last thing she wanted was to have an upset neighbour. She remembered the way her hand had felt in his, marvelling at the feeling of familiarity and excitement it produced every time in her gut. She flicked a lock of blonde hair away from her eyes and knocked softly on the door. She didn’t want to run the risk of waking him up again.
Ash’s smile was the second thing she saw when he opened the door. The first was how good he looked. Unkempt, tired, but naturally handsome. It made her stomach flip, and her lips break out into a smile that matched his.
‘Hi,’ he said softly. He looked down at the baby carrier with a frown. ‘Everything okay?’
‘No, actually. I came to warn you about a crazy neighbour who calls the police on innocent people.’
His laugh was unfiltered, and amazing to hear. She laughed with him, her cheeks blushing with her embarrassment. And his friendly reaction.
‘Ah, thanks. I’ll keep an eye out for her.’
‘I came to apologise properly; I had no idea that Mrs Quentin had rented the cottage out.’ She looked down at the box in her hands. ‘I thought you were a burglar.’
‘Only on the weekends.’ He smiled. ‘You have no need to be sorry. It was an honest mix-up.’ He frowned as he saw her shiver. ‘You needn’t have come out into the cold, especially with the little one.’
‘I didn’t want to leave...it. I wouldn’t have slept.’
Ash surveyed her face, his brows knitted together pensively.
‘Well, thank you. Please, come in?’ She hesitated a second, the box still in one hand. He narrowed his eyes. ‘It’s really cold out.’
She stepped inside the door, Ash moving aside and closing it behind them.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said ruefully. ‘I haven’t had a chance to get any wood for the fire yet. Come through.’
Marnie followed him through to the sitting room. The fire was burning low in the grate, but the room was warm and neat. The recliner of the armchair was down.
Was he sleeping in the chair when George arrived?
She felt her cheeks redden.
‘Sit down, please. Would you like a hot drink?’ His face paled, but she was too focused on the offer of caffeine to notice.
‘Oh, no, thanks. I can’t stay. I just wanted to make amends. Here.’
She offered him the box of mince pies as he offered her a seat with a flick of his wrist. They both laughed. He took the box, his fingers touching hers for a split second. Bang! There it was again. The jolt. Ash licked his suddenly dry-looking lips and motioned behind her to the sofa.
He pushed the armchair back into its sitting position but didn’t sit till she was installed on the sofa with Violet in her carrier. He opened the bakery box, and she saw his eyes light up.
‘The best mince pies bar none.’ She grinned. ‘The bakery round here is amazing.’
He lifted one to his lips and made short work of it. ‘Mmm... Wow.’ He swallowed the rest of the tasty morsel, reaching for another after a pause. ‘Thank you for these. You really didn’t have to, though. I’m sorry if I scared you.’
‘I was up feeding Violet anyway.’ She rebuffed his apologies. He was being so nice about it all. He must have had a long day too, given his current look. ‘I don’t sleep much these days, thanks to little madam here.’ She noticed he had lifted a third mince pie to his mouth, and she realised he was starving. ‘Listen, the local bakery delivers.’
His eyes met hers, and she was once more looking at the hazel hue of his irises.
‘It’s really handy when you’re on shift. The supermarket delivers up here too. I don’t mind taking in any parcels you get. I’m around most days at the minute.’
‘That’s really kind of you.’
‘I’m like that with every burglar I meet,’ she quipped, making them both giggle. ‘It’s no trouble, honestly. It gets pretty busy at Carey House.’
‘I got that idea. I like it there though; I get a good feeling about the place. Nya’s lovely.’
Marnie’s white teeth flashed. ‘Yeah, she’s the best. She’s a good friend.’ She patted Violet’s back softly in the carrier. ‘She supported me when Violet was born too, so we have a bit of a bond.’
‘That must have been lovely to share.’
‘Yes, it was all a bit of a rush. I’d imagined going into labour a lot, what with our experience, but yeah. I was definitely taken by surprise.’ She noticed Ash was looking at her intently. ‘She was safe though. That’s all I wanted.’ She saw his shoulders relax visibly. He was a heart-on-a-sleeve guy, she realised. It was nice. He’d fit in well with the others. She felt proud that he was covering her role in that moment. He was definitely an improvement on the neighbour front. Not that the stakes were high, given that she’d thought he was some light-fingered shadow in the Cornish night.
‘Must have been a worry for you all.’
‘Well, yeah, but Nya and the team had my back.’
‘Does your partner work in medicine?’
It was a lame question, but she kept saying I. No mention of a ‘we’. He was curious about the answer.
‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s just me and Vi.’ Her green eyes flashed with something when she spoke. Ash lowered his eyes.
‘I’m sorry to hear that.’
Marnie’s smile widened. ‘Don’t be. I chose to have Violet on my own.’ When Ash’s brows furrowed in question, she waited for him to quiz her on where the father of her baby was. He didn’t. What he said next shocked her.
‘Well.’ He was smiling now, the last mince pie sitting in the open box. He offered it to her, but she declined with a shake of her head. He looked as if he needed a good meal. She hoped he’d take her up on the offer of taking his deliveries in. It would be quite nice to have someone in the house next door. Tonight had rattled her a little. It felt different now she had Violet to care for too. She felt a little more vulnerable. ‘I think that’s amazing. How’s it been going?’
He sat back in his seat, as if he was getting more comfortable to hear her story.
Wow, he really cares. He’s such a nice guy. Oh, enough, Marnie. Surely it’ll take more than a pair of eyes and a gorgeous smile to make you even contemplate going near another man.
She focused on the question, willing her cheeks not to burn. He was still looking at her, intent on her features. It made her oddly nervous. She wasn’t used to the feeling. It wasn’t entirely unwelcome, but what did it matter anyway? She might as well just enjoy the chat with an attractive man. Attractive with a capital A.
‘Good.’ He lowered his brow, and she caved immediately. ‘She’s amazing. I love being a mum. It’s mostly great, but it is tiring.’
His face dropped. ‘I’m keeping you up too.’
Marnie waved him away, getting to her feet. ‘No, it’s fine. I spoiled your evening. Don’t forget about the deliveries, okay?’
‘Yeah, thanks. If you’re sure.’
Marnie walked towards the front door, Ash close behind.
‘Of course, that’s what neighbours are for.’ She turned towards him as he leaned in to open the door for her, and she felt it again. That jolt. There was no mistaking it this time, or his sharp intake of breath. The one that matched hers. Her head had snapped around to face his, and his hazel eyes, so entrancing. As soon as she looked at him, she knew he’d felt it too. She’d known it the first time but had talked herself out of that way of thinking pretty quickly.
‘Sorry,’ he breathed.
‘It’s okay.’ She was flustered. ‘These hallways are pretty snug.’ They both laughed, and the moment of tension fizzled away. ‘Night, Ash.’ She slipped out into the night, and he walked out to watch her get back home safely.
‘Hey, I like your decorations.’
Marnie rolled her eyes. ‘I made a start, but I normally do a lot more. I love Christmas, and it’s Violet’s first one. I still need to make the Cornish tree.’
‘Oh, yeah? That sounds nice.’
She smiled at him. It was there again. That full, toothy smile of happiness she had.
She waggled her fingers at him when her key was in the lock, and she was gone. He found himself still staring till the upstairs bedroom light came on.
Sitting back on the couch, he looked at the empty box and thought about the night’s events. He’d gone from being a suspected burglar to a neighbour she wanted to help. She’d fed him. He hadn’t even thought about how hungry he was. And sitting with Marnie had been nice. She’d looked tired—maybe he could be a bit of a neighbour to her too. Being a new mum wasn’t easy, he knew that much. Her being a mother on her own, in this isolated lane, he felt an odd surge of protectiveness towards the pair. There was no mention of a father, and she’d actively told him there wasn’t one. People went it alone all the time. Working in medicine over the years, in his various roles, he knew how complex and unique family set-ups could be, and how they worked. Marnie seemed so happy; it was nice to see.
Ash couldn’t quite believe that a man would walk away from her—was there even a man on the scene at all? Had there ever been? Oh, Lord, he was driving himself mad with his theories and wonderings. What was the point? He wasn’t up for a relationship. Heck, he wouldn’t even be here. He was here to cover her maternity leave, and then he’d be packing up and off to his next job placement. It was how he liked it, wasn’t it? It made sense to keep moving. Keep things fresh, turn things around and move on to the next place.
He loved delivering babies, it gave him joy. A sense of satisfaction. Maybe even chasing a few little demons away along the way. Marnie wasn’t the one for him, it was just a passing attraction. Sure, it had happened more than once. The jolt he’d felt both times was hard to ignore, but his heart wasn’t in danger. He kept that firmly locked away. He couldn’t even think about getting into a relationship.
Besides, Marnie was independent. He could see the strength and warmth emanating from her whenever he was around her. Felt it whenever his new colleagues mentioned her at Carey House. He’d been there one day, and he knew that she was dearly loved and missed. It made him all the more curious about what it was that drew him to her, and all the more determined to ignore it. It was just another job.
Picking up the empty box, he tidied up. Hopefully he’d get some sleep in his strange new bed. He had a busy day at work tomorrow.
As he got into bed later that night, turning off the bedside lamp, he lay in the darkness. Marnie’s light was still on. He thought of her, looking after Violet, her blonde hair half over her face as she bent to kiss her daughter. He fell asleep, the light from the house next door the only light in the darkness around him.