‘HI!’
‘Hey, you! Aw, come here and give me a hug!’
The two women embraced on Marnie’s front doorstep, with Marnie ushering the two visitors inside. She’d been cleaning up all morning, waiting for their visit and using her nervous energy up on chores and little jobs around her cottage. A tray of freshly decorated Christmas cookies sat on a plate in the sitting room. They were iced with different designs—she’d had a bit of a creative morning to channel her thoughts away from her neighbour.
‘Come in, come in! It’s so nice to see you both! I need all the gossip from work.’ Violet was in her Moses basket, kicking her little feet out from time to time as she lay watching the three women enter the sitting room. ‘How are you getting on, Lorna?’
Lorna stepped forward, giving her a broad smile and an outstretched hand. ‘Ok I think, Marnie.’ Marnie settled the pair of them in the lounge, bringing a tea tray through to go with the cookies. Nya picked up one decorated to look like Rudolph, taking a bite and closing her mouth in pleasure.
‘Wow, you’ve been busy, Marnie. I thought you sounded chipper on the phone.’ Marnie blushed, looking away to pour the tea. Perfect action to hide from her friend’s scrutiny. ‘Lorna’s doing great as our trainee midwife!’
Marnie took her friend in for the first time. She was searching now for clues, while she hid her own about Ash. Something was weighing on her mind; Marnie could tell the second she’d looked her mate in the eye.
‘Glad it’s going well, Lorna. I know it can be a bit full on,’ Marnie said smoothly, taking in Nya’s companion fully now too. She’d already heard good things on the grapevine. Their vetting procedures were pretty thorough—anyone given a job was always a good fit. They weren’t cliquey, or a cult, as it sounded. They were just a group of passionate, caring people who sought out the same. She thought back to her travels with Oliver, half a world and a lifetime ago. Even now, when she was still recovering her body fully from childbirth, and surrounded by the winter weather, she wouldn’t trade it. Not for now. One day, she’d take Violet with her to explore.
Nya nudged Lorna from her seat on the sofa, pointing to the plate of cookies. ‘Lorna, I’m sorry we’re so informal, but you know Marnie’s one of us.’ She finished the cookie and headed to the Moses basket. Violet looked up at her with her gorgeous bright eyes, and Marnie felt a swell of maternal pride.
‘Well, little miss Violet, you have grown!’ She turned to Marnie, beaming. ‘She’s got a little bit more gorgeous too.’ Marnie laughed.
‘Well, I’m biased, but of course I’m going to say yes, she did.’
‘Are you okay for Lorna to do the checks on Violet here?’
‘Of course.’ Marnie grinned at Lorna, to put her at ease. Everyone had to train. No one was born knowing how to be a midwife, not with modern medicine ever evolving too. She remembered how nervous she’d felt inside on her first few months of training. It was daunting, the job they did. Definitely not a walk in the park. The highs of delivering a baby though—the only thing that had surpassed that was giving birth to Violet. ‘We’re a team, right?’
Lorna visibly relaxed. Once she was getting on with attending to Violet, Marnie took the opportunity to quiz Nya further.
‘So, how’s work been?’
Nya, sitting next to her on the sofa, gave her the side-eye.
‘What?’
Nya laughed. ‘Come on, Marnie, how’s work? We’re here to check on you two! Don’t be worrying, we’re coping.’ Marnie felt a pat on her arm. ‘We miss you, of course, but Ash is doing a good job.’
Marnie willed her cheeks not to explode into colour. ‘Oh, really? Not too good, I hope.’ Her too shrill laugh rang out into the room. ‘So, what’s he like, then?’
‘Ash? He’s nice. Really good with the patients, he’s quite intense about procedures and equipment set-ups, but that’s not a bad thing. Methodical, but fun with it.’
‘Sounds perfect,’ she replied without filtering her thoughts. Nya’s eyes were on her again.
‘You must know him better than us by now, though!’ Nya threw back at her like a casual bomb. Marnie turned, making sure Lorna wasn’t looking. She was busy with Violet, noting something down on the tablet they’d brought with them.
‘Why would I?’ There it was again, the high pitch of her voice coming to the fore with her nervous energy.
‘Er, he lives next door? You must have seen him around.’
‘Oh, yes, of course. I don’t know him that well.’ She got the urge to ask more, but she knew it would be obvious. They didn’t gossip about people, especially not temporary workers. ‘He seems nice. How’s baby Hope coming along?’
She was changing the subject, but she did want to know. The little one had been left on the steps of Carey House. She couldn’t imagine leaving Violet on the butter-coloured stone steps, in any circumstances, but she knew she could never judge. She was ready for Violet, in a good financial position. She had a steady job in a career she loved and friends and family around her if she ever felt alone or needed help. Hope’s mother had taken her there to give her the best chance at life. Marnie knew that was all a mother ever wanted because she wanted that for Violet too.
Hope was being cared for by Nya and Theo, who had recently discovered that they were interested in more from their relationship than friendship and co-parenting. Marnie was thrilled for her friend and boss.
‘She’s doing well, hitting all her milestones so far.’ It sounded a little technical, but Marnie understood. Perhaps she was trying to keep a professional distance. She got that. She’d done it herself for long enough. It was hard, seeing everyone else have babies. ‘She’s settled down really well. Theo and I love taking care of her.’
The three women chatted easily for a few more minutes while Nya and Lorna finished their cups of tea and ate a couple of Marnie’s Christmas cookies. Finally it was time for them to leave for their next appointment. ‘Are you looking forward to the ball?’ Lorna asked her as they were leaving. ‘I’ve been told it’s quite the event around here.’
‘I am actually. Looking forward to seeing you there, Lorna. Bye, Nya.’
‘Bye, my lovely,’ she said, enveloping her in a huge hug.
‘Call me if you need anything, a sitter, anything.’ Two babies wouldn’t be a bother to Marnie. It would be nice to have company for Violet too. Socialisation could never start too early, especially when you had a whole cove of people around. It might just keep her busy too. She seemed to get into trouble when she was at a loose end. It wasn’t itchy feet, but something like it.
She thought about it later that night, once Violet was asleep, and she’d run out of cleaning to do. She pulled an old photo album out from the bottom of her wardrobe. Paris. They’d taken the usual tourist photo in front of the Eiffel Tower, Oliver pulling a funny face at the last second before the photo took. She looked at the snap, at her laughing into the camera at his antics. She couldn’t say it had all been bad. It hadn’t been, till the end. They’d seen the world together. She kept flicking through the album till she found what she realised she’d been wanting to see. The engagement photo.
Oliver had handed his camera to another traveller, asking them to take a shot of them on the beach. It was a beautiful, hot day. Her face was sun-kissed, her hair blonder than when they’d started out. She wore her hair in surfer chick waves then, which she’d kept pinned up for work. Recently she’d opted for a sleek blonde bob. She now had a different life, and it was a different woman who was looking back on that photograph.
Oliver had dropped to one knee, and that was that. Their magical moment, now a snapshot in an album and a fading memory in her head. Two weeks before they’d been due to fly home, the bubble that was Oliver and Marnie had well and truly popped. Instead of flying home to a wedding, and their life together, she’d returned alone and changed.
Had she been naïve, back then? She thought so afterwards. Scrutinising every moment of their last few days together, to see if she could pinpoint the issue. At the time, she’d thought she’d never recover. She knew differently now, but did that mean that girl on the beach was gone?
Marnie put the album away and looked out of her side window at the house next door. There were no lights on save for one in the lounge. She wondered what Ash was doing. It was quite lonely on the lane. She pondered half a dozen reasons to send him a text, but then gave up and decided to go to bed instead. She didn’t know what to say anyway. I’m thinking about you? What are you up to?
She snorted and turned to her side in bed.
‘Don’t be daft, Marnie. For God’s sake, just stick to the plan.’
She pushed her phone into her top dresser drawer an hour later, a dozen more unsent texts to Ash on her screen.