‘Quickly, tell us what happens next,’ said Rashid.
I was back at Rashid’s telling him about the dream. I was sure that he would understand what it meant.
‘I was really high above the city,’ I said. ‘The sun was rising. Then I was standing at the end of my street. The neighbours started coming out of their houses to go to work and school and yogalates but they weren’t dressed for work and school and yogalates THEY WERE ALL DRESSED LIKE STINKLY WRINKLYS.’
While I was telling Rashid about the dream his Bubu was sitting on her chair weaving a basket out of fingernails.
It was amazing.
And disgusting.
‘All the females were wearing old lady dresses,’ I said. ‘All the males had their pants pulled up really high. Everyone was wearing hand-knitted cardigans and brown shoes.
‘Then it was night and I was standing outside my house. I looked inside. There was nothing on the TV except the news and programs where old ladies solve murders. Everyone went to bed at 7.30 and read books about old ladies solving murders. Everyone had false teeth. Everyone had a glass eye.
‘STINKLY WRINKLYS RULED THE WORLD.
‘It was horrible.’
‘Why bring us news of this horrifying vision?’ said Rashid.
‘I need to know if you think the Stinkly Wrinklys could really take over the world.’
‘It was a dream. It was not real. It does not show the future.’
‘I didn’t want to go to war against someone who had a glass eye, but if they are going to make me have a glass eye then maybe war is the only way to stop them,’ I said.
‘Calm yourself, good sir. The elderly are weak. We need not fear them.’
Just then we heard a really, very, super loud ripping noise.
It was Rashid’s Bubu.
SHE WAS RIPPING UP THE COFFEE TABLE.
She was holding the wooden top of the coffee table between her thumb and forefinger and was ripping it into strips.
‘Are you sure we need not fear them?’ I said. ‘Are you sure they are weak?’
Rashid’s Bubu finished ripping up the coffee table and started making a basket out of it.
‘Rashid?’ I said. ‘Do you think your Bubu could rip us up like that?’
‘We fear she could,’ said Rashid.
‘I think we have to go to war against the Stinkly Wrinklys.’
‘We believe you must.’
‘We’ll need your help, Rashid,’ I said.
‘We are not sure we wish to become embroiled in a war.’
‘Please, Rashid. Please.’
‘We shall consider your entreaties when we next sit in counsel with our most trusted lords.’
I think he meant the other guys from his rugby team.
‘If you help us you’ll need to do some training,’ I said. ‘Hils has scheduled a training session for tomorrow afternoon. It’s at our secret training location behind the bamboo next to the railway tracks near the zoo.’
Then I had a thought.
‘At least I think training is still happening. Hils and I had a bit of a fight.’