TRAMP STAMP

Paulina was on her hands and knees, singing and scrubbing the toilet of cabin six, when Jesse chucked a wrapped present on the bathmat.

‘Unhappy birthday, ulvini.’

‘Bloody hell!’ Paulina threw the toilet brush at him. ‘Don’t sneak up on a woman like that! How long have you been here?’

‘Long enough to hear you singing “Suicide Is Painless”.’ Jesse smirked. ‘I know chicks get insecure about ageing, but you take it to the next level, eh.’

As Paulina made a grab for her gift, Jesse backed out of the room. She ripped off the paper to reveal the cheesy grin of Tony ‘Tunes’ Carlyle: Tony Sings Fairfolk.

‘This isn’t a gift — it’s a curse! Oi, where’re you going? I want a refund!’

Jesse edged back into the room. ‘Sorry, but every Fairfolk Islander needs one. You can’t be a Fairfolk Islander if you don’t have a copy of Tony Sings Fairfolk.’

Gleefully, Paulina wrenched open the CD cover, got out the disc. ‘I’m gonna smash it and flush it!’

‘Hey … don’t.’ Jesse intercepted her. ‘I put a lot of effort into that.’

‘Pfft! They sell these for $14.99 at every souvenir shop.’

‘Yeah, but. There’s good stuff on there. You can flush the rest … don’t flush the disc.’

‘I bet it’s just Tony singing “Fairfolk Beautiful Fairfolk”.’

‘Nay. It’s good stuff. Trust me.’

‘Like I’d trust you.’

‘Fine.’ Jesse folded his arms. ‘Your loss.’

Smiling into her uniform collar, Paulina returned the CD to its packaging. ‘Nah. I’ll switch it with one of yours when you’re not looking. You’ll live in fear.’

Jesse handed back the toilet brush. ‘Worth it.’

‘Oi, how come you’re not at Camilleri’s, slack-arse? No fair I have to work on my birthday, and you don’t.’

‘Baz wanted to see me.’

‘Ooooooo. Bazel and Jesse sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G—’

‘It’s about the renos they’re doing in down season.’ Jesse rolled his eyes. ‘He’s hiring me to paint a mural. Mutineers and Polynesian babes with big tits and all that.’

‘Geez, that’s original.’

Jesse shrugged. ‘It’s not every day I get paid for my art.’

Paulina stopped scrubbing. ‘I’ll pay you! I want my tramp stamp.’

‘Yeah, nay. I don’t have a death wish.’

‘Pretty-please, Jesse-Camel?’

‘Sorry, but Rabbit’ll kill me for slapping a bumper sticker on his Ferrari.’

‘Pfft. I’m not a Ferrari. I’m like a Mazda Astina, at best.’

‘Yeah, well. Even if you’re that totalled Corolla of yours, he’ll still kill me.’

‘Not if he never sees it.’ She stood up and flushed. ‘Doggy-style’s pretty hard work for a man his age.’

‘Thanks. That’s a picture I needed.’

‘Oi, help me clean the rest of these cabins?’ Paulina slipped a fresh roll of toilet paper onto the holder, folded the edge into an inviting triangle. ‘Baz says I can knock off once I get them done. Beach day?’

‘Are you sure Rabbit won’t—’

‘I can go to the beach.’ Paulina crossed her arms. ‘If you don’t wanna be seen with me, fine. I’ll hitchhike.’

‘Nay. It’s fine.’ Jesse looked uncertain. ‘I’ll drive you.’

‘You’ll drive me in your Camel-mobile?’

‘Yeah. Just don’t call it that.’

‘Can I smell your air-freshener?’

‘Fine. It’s your birthday.’

‘Do you know what else is today?’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ Jesse cracked a smile. ‘It’s the one-year anniversary of that time some crazy mainie called me fat at the supermarket. How could I forget.’

Paulina made Jesse wait at Cookies, just in case Rabbit was home. He wasn’t; just a note saying he was at the Fairfolk Bowmen’s Club, along with a bouquet. She plucked a hibiscus from the bunch and put it behind her ear, changed into her beach gear quick as she could, and scratched a note saying: Gone to the beach! Xxx.

‘This’s like an affair, without any fun,’ Jesse complained, rolling the car out of Cookies.

‘I’m fun!’

‘Mind if we go past Fergal’s? Maybe Brooke can knock off early, too.’

Paulina pulled down the mirror. ‘Like my flower? Ric gave me a bunch.’

She waited in the Commodore while Jesse talked to Brooke. He returned, grinning. ‘She’ll come in an hour.’

‘Awesome.’

At Tombstone Beach, Paulina stripped down to her bikini, got out her sunscreen. ‘Oi, can you do my back?’

Begrudgingly, Jesse splatted some sunscreen onto his palm. ‘You’re such a mainie.’

Paulina laughed. ‘You’re a fuckwit.’

‘Only mainies get skin cancer.’

‘I swear, you’re dumber than Pellet sometimes. Even Pellet believes in sunscreen.’

‘Fairfolk sun isn’t dangerous. Our ozone layer’s thicker. Nay pollution.’

‘You’re such a fuckwit.’ Paulina kept giggling as Jesse rubbed her back. ‘Make sure you do it even.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’

‘Don’t forget the sides of my boobs.’

‘What boobs? You’re so miggy.’

‘Don’t forget my lower back.’ Paulina giggled some more. ‘I gotta keep the skin nice for my tramp stamp.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’

‘Show me where you’re gonna put it.’ Paulina arched her back. ‘Show me, Jess.’

‘You just told me.’

‘I want you to show me.’

Jesse sighed and traced a circle just above her butt. ‘There.’ He drew his hand away. ‘It’s not happening, but. Even if it wasn’t for Rabbit, you’re scared of the pain.’

‘I won’t wimp out, Jess.’ Paulina turned around. ‘I’m ready, whenever you are.’

‘Yeah, but.’ He got to his feet. ‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Wait! I’ll do your back.’

‘I’m not a mainie.’

Laughing, Paulina watched him lope to the water and plunge in. Then she reached for his ciggies, got out her Discman, and kept perving till he emerged from the sea.

He sprawled beside her, nicked one of her earbuds. ‘Tony Tunes?’

‘Yeah.’ Paulina smiled. ‘You did good.’

They lay like that, listening to her birthday mix, till Brooke showed up.

‘Hullo, luvvies!’ She smooched Jesse, then Paulina. ‘Happy birthday, bella!’

‘Don’t remind her,’ Jesse said. ‘She’ll start singing “Suicide Is Painless” again.’

Brooke slipped her elephant-print hemp beach-bag off her shoulder and dug inside it. ‘I’ve got something to cheer you up, bella.’

‘Geez, thanks,’ Paulina mumbled as she accepted a jar of Fergal’s Farm honey with a bow around it. ‘Must’ve really gone out of your way to get this.’

‘Open it, you ingrate!’ Brooke laughed. ‘Smell it!’

Paulina unscrewed the cap. ‘Whisky? You legend!’

‘Jess, can you do my back?’ Brooke shed her sack-like sundress.

‘Um. Yeah.’ Jesse grabbed the sunscreen. ‘Hold up your hair.’

Paulina flipped onto her tummy. ‘Fuck, I’m old.’

‘At least you’re not thirty yet!’ Brooke said cheerily. ‘That’ll be much worse!’

She giggled as Jesse smoothed his hands over her curves. Paulina rolled her eyes and picked up her honey jar. ‘Be right back. I’m gonna go ask a shark to eat me.’

Squatting in the shallows, she drank. When she looked over her shoulder, Jesse and Brooke were pashing. ‘Fuck,’ she muttered, chucked her hibiscus in the water, and swam out further.

‘No luck?’ Jesse asked when she staggered back to the towels.

Paulina plonked between him and Brooke. ‘Even sharks have standards.’

Brooke offered her a joint.

‘Nah. That shit messes with your head.’

‘And that doesn’t?’ Jesse pointed at her whisky.

‘Respect your elders, Camel-shit.’

‘Don’t look now, grandma.’ Brooke jabbed her in the ribs. ‘There’s your ex.’

Paulina looked: Laurent was strolling down the beach in his shirtless glory with his new girlfriend, Oliana, and her four-year-old son. ‘Fuck!’ She hid her face.

‘Pretty ironic, eh?’ Jesse took up the joint. ‘He dumps you cos he’s not ready for fatherhood … then straightaway he hooks up with the hottest single mum on Fairfolk.’

‘Thanks, Camel. I never would’ve made that connection. Fuck! He’s coming over?’

‘Hello,’ Laurent said.

‘Hi,’ they chorused.

Laurent looked from Jesse to Paulina to Brooke, to the joint in Jesse’s hand.

‘Wanna toke?’ Jesse offered.

He looked back at Oliana and her kid, toddling to the shore. ‘Yeah, bro.’

Crouching, he took a toke.

Jesse pointed at Paulina. ‘It’s her birthday.’

Laurent looked at her solemnly. ‘Happy birthday.’

‘Yeah, you too,’ Paulina replied.

Brooke got the giggles. Jesse deadpanned. ‘Did you and Oliana do the coastal walk?’

‘Yeah, bro.’ Laurent inhaled. ‘Beautiful views and ocean wind.’

‘You should try it at sunset.’

‘Yeah, bro. Awesome sunsets.’

Paulina snorted. Laurent looked at her contemptuously. ‘You’re drinking … honey?’

‘Yep!’ She nodded. ‘Fergal’s Farm. Want some?’

Sneering, Laurent returned the joint. ‘Thanks, bro.’

‘There’s more where that came from.’

Laurent grinned. ‘Mate’s rates?’

‘Yeah, brudda.’ Jesse stood. ‘Step into my office.’

As Laurent and Jesse wandered up the path to the cemetery, beyond which the Commodore was parked, Brooke cracked up. ‘“Happy birthday! You too! ” Classic!’

‘What can I say? I was dazzled by his abs.’

‘At least you can say you’ve been there. That’s quite an achievement!’

‘Pretty much the only thing I’ve achieved in twenty-nine years.’

‘No words of wisdom, then?’

‘Ummm. Stay hydrated!’ Paulina sipped. ‘Don’t fuck rabbits. Join the twenty-seven club while you still have the chance.’

Brooke clapped gleefully. ‘Classic!’

Paulina took another sip, watched Oliana and her little boy frolicking in the shallows.

‘If you ever cheat on a guy, don’t tell him,’ she added, after a while. ‘Doesn’t matter the circumstances. They don’t forgive it, hey.’

Brooke turned onto her side. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. I’d be married now, if I didn’t tell. I’d have my life sorted. We were gonna live in Adelaide while Vinnie did his Air Force cadetship. We were looking at home loans.’

‘Air Force? Sounds like a stiff.’

‘I really loved him. I was really sorry.’ Paulina shrugged. ‘It didn’t matter how many times I said it, but. One fuck-up and you’re a slut who can’t be trusted.’

‘How’d it happen?’

‘Some guy from the Melbourne office. I was trying to impress the big bosses and he didn’t even have to try; they just liked him better. Then all the bigwigs left, and we went to this club and he bought me all these shots and …’ Paulina shrugged again. ‘I woke up next morning in his hotel.’

‘God!’ Brooke said. ‘Did he roofie you?’

‘I drank too much. I fucked up.’

‘Well. Would you want to be married to a guy who couldn’t forgive you?’ Brooke offered. ‘Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.’

‘Dodged a bullet, walked into a minefield.’ Paulina sighed. ‘I really loved him. He was perfect. He was serious. Guys like that don’t go for me anymore.’

‘What about Ric?’

‘He knows better than to trust me.’ Paulina narrowed her eyes. ‘He’ll never marry me.’

Jesse and Laurent walked down from the cemetery, went their separate ways. ‘You didn’t swim yet?’ Jesse shifted Brooke’s hair from her shoulder and kissed it.

Brooke winked. ‘Just girl-talk.’

‘Good day for business?’ Paulina rolled over.

Jesse turned to Brooke. ‘Oh, yeah. Good news: Baz commissioned me to paint a mural for Mutes’ this June. Two grand. Nice, eh?’

‘Jess!’ Brooke smacked his arm. ‘We’ll be in New Zealand!’

Paulina’s guts froze over. ‘New Zealand?’

‘Well, you know, I was planning to go backpacking again right after my work placement … but this fella’s made it hard for me.’

Jesse avoided Paulina’s eyes. ‘I meant to tell you. Just, we haven’t booked flights yet.’

‘Whose fault is that?’ Brooke laughed. ‘I’ll be gone by May — with or without you, Camilleri!’

‘Geez,’ Paulina mumbled. ‘That’s … exciting.’

‘Tell me about it! Civilisation!’ Brooke rolled her eyes. ‘Although, we’ll be camping out a bit, too. How could we not? Have you been?’

‘Nah.’ Paulina glanced at Jesse. ‘I’ve heard it’s really pretty, but.’

‘Yeah.’ Jesse avoided her eye. ‘Lots of extreme sports, too.’

‘Bungy-jumping.’ Brooke leaned against him. ‘Snowboarding.’

‘How long are you going for?’ Paulina tried to sound casual.

‘Oh, we’re playing it by ear! We’ll fly to Auckland first, then down to the South Island, then who knows? Maybe back to Australia, even.’

‘But … you hate the mainland.’ Paulina searched Jesse’s face. ‘You always say it’s full of racists.’

‘It is.’ Shrugging, he met her gaze. ‘But they don’t own the place. And I’ve grown up a lot since last time I was there.’

‘Grown up?’ Paulina scoffed. ‘You’re twenty-five.’

‘Yeah, yeah. Ulvini.’

‘I’d love to meet some of Jess’s mob over in Brisbane, if he lets me!’ Brooke swished her hair. ‘You know, in all the time I was in Sydney, I never saw any Aborigines? Who would’ve thought I’d find this guy on Fairfolk. That’s the beauty of travelling. You never know what’s around the corner.’

‘Ha, yep.’ Paulina drained her honey jar. ‘Just watch out your body doesn’t wind up in Belanglo.’

‘Honestly, better that than dying of boredom on this rock.’ Brooke cast a contemptuous glance up the beach. ‘I’ve forgotten how it feels to wear a bikini without being gawked at by inbreds.’

Paulina noticed the pervert in golf gear, lurking. ‘Oh. Him.’

‘That’s just Yooey Turner,’ Jesse said. ‘He’s harmless. He just likes looking at chicks.’

Brooke rolled her eyes. ‘Mm-hm. Until someday looking isn’t enough.’

‘Want me to say something to him?’

‘Um, yes please!’

Puffing up his chest, Jesse marched down the beach toward Yooey.

‘You’d think he was going to war for me!’ Brooke looked askance at Paulina. ‘He would, you know.’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Paulina agreed. ‘Totally.’

Brooke stood. ‘Coming for a dip?’

‘Nah. I’m good.’

Once Brooke was in the water, Paulina turned onto her tummy and screamed into the sand. She didn’t stop until she saw Jesse’s feet. She sat up, glaring.

‘What’re you looking at, arsehole?’

‘Nothing.’ Jesse got out his Camels. ‘Nothing at all.’

Paulina snatched one, stuck it between her lips.

‘You’re not going anywhere till I get my tramp stamp.’

The sky was the colour of nectar when Rabbit dropped her off at the Mutineers’ Lodge bistro. ‘Call me when you’re done, gorgeous.’

‘Don’t worry about it, babe,’ she demurred. ‘I’ll get a lift.’

Rabbit squeezed her hand. ‘You know I can’t sleep without you.’

‘Get some rest, babe.’ She stroked his face. ‘You work so hard.’

Five minutes later, she was at the bar, watching for Jesse’s car. When she saw it, she drained her glass and winked at Gayle, the bistro manager. ‘Thanks for the alibi!’

Jesse smelled the alcohol on her as soon as she slipped into the passenger seat. ‘You know it thins your blood.’

‘Gawd, I haven’t been out after dark without Ric in soooo long! Let’s go to Wetties?’

Jesse sighed. ‘He keeps a tight leash on you, eh.’

‘He’s from a different generation.’ Paulina checked her lip gloss. ‘He doesn’t think boys and girls can be friends.’

At Jesse’s cottage, Paulina had an urge to cry. ‘Gawd, I haven’t been here in ages,’ her voice caught in her throat. ‘Tiny, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah, yeah, you live in a palace.’ He began laying out his tools. ‘You know the drill.’

In the bathroom, Paulina stripped down and jumped in the shower. When she emerged in her laciest bra and g-string, hair dripping, Jesse did a double-take. ‘Jesus!’

‘What?’ She squeezed her hair dry. ‘Don’t you want me using your towel?’

‘It’s fine,’ Jesse mumbled, looking away.

Paulina strutted to the kitchen, got the Jim Beam down from the shelf, and poured herself a mug. ‘Hope you don’t mind.’ She crept back to the lounge. ‘I made coffee.’

‘Paulina. I can smell that from here. You really don’t care about bleeding, do you?’

‘I bleed every month.’ Sipping, she watched his thick eyelashes. ‘Music?’

‘Yeah.’ He didn’t look up. ‘Good idea.’

She tiptoed to the CD rack, bum out and tummy in. Knelt on the carpet and browsed till she felt Jesse’s eyes stray to her.

‘Hey.’ She held up an album. ‘What do you think?’

He nodded, averted his eyes. ‘Nice.’

Paulina crawled to the CD player, slipped in the disc, caught Jesse looking again, and approached him with the Jim Beam. ‘Want some?’

‘No. Jesus. I’m working.’

‘I’m getting a gut.’ Paulina snapped the band of her g-string. ‘These never used to fit so tight.’

‘Can you get out of my face? It’s really distracting.’

She lay on the couch. ‘Better?’

Jesse nodded. Paulina stared up at the ceiling, playing with her belly button and singing under her breath, till he approached in his gloves. ‘Flip over.’

‘Do you think I’d look cute with a belly-button ring?’

‘Do you want a tramp stamp or not?’

‘I dunno.’ She fingered her hipbone. ‘Could be cute here.’

‘Too bony. You’ll pass out from the pain. Flip over.’

Paulina sat up, reached for her mug and drank deep. Then she got on her hands and knees, peeked over her shoulder. ‘Better?’

‘Lie on your tummy. Lie flat and, like … stay still.’

Paulina obeyed. But as soon as he touched her with his cold gloves, she jolted.

‘Jesus!’

‘It’s cold!’

‘Want a blanket?’

‘… No.’

He tried again. Again, she flinched. ‘Jesus! Calm down.’

‘I’m cold.’ She took up her whisky. ‘Sorry for feeling cold.’

Jesse watched her swallow. ‘Alright? Or want a blanket?’

‘Alright.’

‘You want a blanket?’

‘Yeah … nah.’ She giggled. ‘You’re so talented, Jess!’

‘I haven’t even done anything yet.’

‘Do it, Jess. I’m waiting.’

‘I’m trying. Shut up and lie still.’

‘You shut up.’ She sat up and pulled him close, pressed her lips to his.

‘Jesus!’ Jesse wiped his mouth. ‘What the fuck, Paulina.’

‘Let’s have an affair!’ Paulina looped her arms around his neck.

Jesse recoiled. ‘If you’re scared of the pain, just say so. Don’t play mind games.’

‘I’m not scared!’ Paulina burst into tears. ‘I’m not playing!’

‘Nup. Not today.’ Jesse peeled off his gloves. ‘I don’t care how much you pay me.’

He stormed out. Paulina kept bawling until she got tired — he was gone a bloody long time. When he came back, he had wet hair and a fresh T-shirt.

‘Get dressed.’ He chucked her uniform at her. ‘We’re going to Wetties.’

‘The thing about Brooke is, what you see is what you get,’ Jesse told her, four pints in. ‘She doesn’t play games.’

Paulina sneered. ‘If you hate games so much, why’re you always playing PlayStation?’

‘And she’s beautiful. Not just hot, but, like, naturally beautiful. She doesn’t even need makeup. First thing in the morning, she’s gorgeous. Those little freckles on her nose—’

‘Ric looks good first thing in the morning, too,’ Paulina countered. ‘All those little wrinkles all over his face? Gorgeous!’

Jesse watched a waitress delivering chips to another table.

‘Ugh! You already had chips. You’re gonna end up like your dad.’

‘Yeah. Well.’ Jesse sipped his beer. ‘You’re gonna end up like … your mum.’

‘So? My mum’s beautiful!’ Paulina stood. ‘I’m getting another round.’

Jesse shook his head at his near-empty glass. ‘I’m driving, remember.’

‘You’re boring as fuck.’

At the bar, the first guy she’d hooked up with on Fairfolk was drinking alone. ‘Hey, Eddy.’ She smiled coyly. ‘How are you?’

‘Good.’ He looked her up and down. ‘You?’

She leaned a little closer. ‘Good.’

‘What’re you drinking?’ Eddy pulled out his wallet.

Paulina turned to the barmaid. ‘Another round. Don’t forget to chuck a shot in Camel’s Pine Brew, okay?’

Eddy put his wallet away. ‘You and Camilleri, eh?’

‘He’s going through a break-up.’ Paulina winked. ‘He just doesn’t know it yet.’

‘Eddy’s married, you know.’ Jesse frowned as she set down the fresh round of drinks.

‘And I’m with Ric. So? I’m not allowed to flirt?’ She simpered. ‘Or am I only allowed to flirt with you?’

Jesse shrugged. ‘Do what you want.’

Paulina looked back at Eddy. ‘He’s pretty sexy. He’s got those Polynesian eyes. Nice and dark.’

‘Racist.’

‘I like dark eyes.’ Paulina shifted her gaze to Jesse. ‘Dark everything.’

‘Um.’ Jesse looked at his beer. ‘I don’t want this.’

‘You’re not a mainie. No one cares if you drive drunk.’

Jesse took a reluctant sip. ‘This’s my last one, okay? I’m feeling it.’

‘Piss-weak!’

‘Alcoholic.’

Paulina stiffened. Jesse got out his Camels, got up.

‘I’m going for a smoke,’ he said. ‘Then I’m going home.’

‘Whatever!’ Paulina knocked back her rum. ‘I’m going for a piss.’

In the loo, the walls spun around her. But her reflection was steady in the mirror, applying lip gloss. The waitress came out of the adjoining cubicle to wash her hands.

‘How do I look?’ Paulina interrogated her. ‘Do I look nice?’

‘Yeah,’ the waitress reassured her. ‘You look nice.’

‘Did you see that guy I’m with? I love him!’ Paulina confided. ‘Tonight’s the night. I’m gonna fuck him tonight.’

Out in the beer garden, Jesse was smoking with a pale-skinned guy in check pants. ‘What’s with the pants?’ Paulina asked the guy.

‘I’m a chef at The Pacifica.’ He shrugged. ‘The checks hide the stains.’

‘Yeah?’ Paulina snatched his ciggie. ‘All stains?’

He looked at her lips, sucking in smoke. ‘Most stains.’

‘Come on.’ Jesse put out his ciggie in his beer. ‘Let’s go.’

‘Thanks for the ciggie!’ Paulina waved, linked her arm with Jesse’s. ‘Aw, did you make a friend?’

‘Why, are you interested?’

‘Why, are you jealous?’

‘He was just some junkie, trying to score.’ Jesse hesitated outside the Commodore. ‘Listen: can we just walk back to Mutes’? I’m too drunk to drive Cook’s Falls Road.’

‘Don’t bother, then.’ Paulina crossed her arms. ‘I’ll hitch.’

‘Don’t hitchhike. Jesus.’

‘I’ll ask that junkie for a ride.’ Paulina blew smoke over her shoulder. ‘He won’t mind driving me to Cookies.’

‘Forget it.’ Jesse fumbled with his keys. ‘I’ll drive you.’

With painful slowness, Jesse drove out of town. At Cookies, Paulina unclipped her seatbelt. ‘Thanks for tonight. It was nice hanging out … just us.’

‘Yeah.’ Jesse wiped his forehead. ‘I’ll feel it tomorrow, but.’

‘Don’t think about tomorrow.’ Paulina leaned in. ‘It’s just us, now.’

‘Paulina.’ He shook his head. ‘Come on.’

‘Come on.’ She slid onto his lap. ‘It’s just us, Jess.’

He turned his face away. ‘Cut it out, Paulina.’

She kissed his neck, hitched up her skirt. ‘I’m so wet, Jess. I want you so much.’

‘Come on. Don’t.’ He stayed her hands. ‘You’re just drunk. Okay?’

‘I want you … you want me.’ She breathed on his mouth. ‘Babe: you’re so hard right now.’

Jesse groaned as she rubbed his dick. ‘Paulina …’

‘You’re so hard, babe.’ She ran her tongue over his lips. ‘You’re so good. Put that hard dick inside me, babe.’

‘What the fuck, Paulina.’ Jesse shoved her off his lap. ‘Just … don’t.’

‘Please?’ Eyes misting up, Paulina kissed his knees. ‘I want you so much. I want you in my mouth. Please?’

Jesse groaned again; pushed her head away as she nuzzled his lap.

‘Jesse-babe.’ She peeled off her shirt, unhooked her bra. ‘See how much I want you?’

She dragged his hand to her hot breasts; her nipples, hard as weapons.

‘Jesus, Paulina.’ Jesse’s voice went high. ‘Cut it out. Please.’

‘Please?’ She lifted his T-shirt, kissed the hair on his belly, licked it. ‘Let me do this for you, babe. Please?’

Jesse’s abs tightened. She licked the soft, downy place right above where his belt-buckle started, then below it.

‘Oh, yeah,’ he whispered, finally. ‘Oh. Jesus.’

‘You’re beautiful, Jess!’ Paulina congratulated him. ‘Can I suck your dick? Please?’

‘Jesus … Yeah.’ Jesse covered his face with his hands. ‘Before I come in my pants. Please. Yeah.’

She grappled with his belt-buckle. He helped her.

‘Oh, Jess.’ She gazed up at him through the curtain of her fringe. ‘You’re beautiful.’

‘Yeah. Jesus, you too.’

She took him in her mouth, worked him up and down.

‘Oh, yeah,’ he whimpered. ‘Please. Yeah.’

‘Can you come in my mouth?’ Paulina raised her head. ‘Please?’

‘Uh, yeah. Jesus, yes, please.’

Her eyes leaked as she took him deeper. He clutched the roots of her hair.

‘Say it again?’ she asked. ‘Before you come in my mouth? Say “please”.’

‘Oh, please. Yes, please.’

‘Say I’m beautiful? Say it.’

‘Beautiful. Beautiful, Paulina. Please …’

It flooded her mouth: creamy, salty, bliss. She swallowed and laughed at the look on his face, like all his dreams had come true. Also, another thing — Rabbit was crossing the reserve with a flashlight, rapping on the car window.

‘Do you think I’m stupid?’ His lips were white. ‘You think I don’t know you’re down here?’

‘Jesus.’ Jesse buckled up his pants. ‘I’m sorry.’

Rabbit tore his gaze from Paulina to Jesse: ‘I need her gone tonight.’

‘Fine with me!’ Paulina jeered. ‘Like I wanna spend another night with you.’

‘Fuck!’ Jesse cried into his hands. ‘Fuck!’

‘I don’t care what you do with her,’ Rabbit continued calmly. ‘I just need her gone.’

‘She’s not going with me!’ Jesse pleaded. ‘I don’t want her! Please, Rabbit—’

‘She’s not my problem anymore.’

‘Rabbit, brudda, please. She’s yours—’

‘You’re the one with your plana in her mouth. She’s your problem.’ Rabbit glanced at Paulina’s bare chest. ‘One word of advice? Don’t get her pregnant.’

At that, he stalked off. Paulina broke down.

‘I’m sorry, Jess! He’s a bastard. Please, let’s go—’

‘Don’t touch me!’ Jesse’s voice cracked. ‘You fucking bitch! Get away from me!’

‘Please,’ Paulina bleated. ‘Please? I love you so much.’

‘Get away from me! Go sit in the backseat!’

‘Can you sit there with me?’

‘Fuck! No!’ Jesse was shaking. ‘It’s so you don’t touch me. If you touch me again, I swear … You make me so fucking angry.’

‘Jess?’ Paulina cried harder. ‘Don’t cry. I love you.’

‘If you love me, get the fuck away from me,’ he said in a stiff, quiet voice. ‘Now.’

She stopped crying and grabbed her clothes; scrambled into them in the backseat.

‘I’m going out for some air,’ Jesse said, after a while. ‘Don’t follow me.’

While he was gone, Paulina wept herself into a catatonic state. It was an eternity before Jesse returned, with bleeding knuckles.

‘Did you and Ric have a punch-up?’ she asked, awed.

‘No. Fuck.’ Jesse started the car. ‘I punched a pine tree.’

Paulina made every effort not to laugh.

‘I’m sorry,’ she apologised as he drove out of Cookies. ‘I love you.’

‘Stop saying that. You don’t.’

‘I do! I love you so much.’

‘Whatever that was back there, it wasn’t love. You don’t know what love is.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Tears burned her cheeks. ‘I wish I was dead. I’m so sorry—’

‘Shut the fuck up. You’re not the victim here. Stop playing the fucking victim.’

Paulina closed her eyes and wished he’d drive her somewhere cold and put her out of her misery. Instead, he drove to Mutes’. ‘You have keys, right? You can sleep in a cabin?’

‘Yeah,’ Paulina mumbled. ‘I’ll clean it in the morning.’

She got out of the car. Lowered her eyes and said it one last time.

‘I know you’re sorry.’ Jesse sighed. ‘But I don’t think I can forgive you. Okay?’

It wasn’t okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.