When Andrew and I got married almost two decades ago, we decided to write our own vows. Stuck on what to say, I conferred with my dad, asking him if I could borrow from the vows he had written for my mom more than forty years earlier. From those forty-year-old wedding vows I took the following line: “I have only one life, and it is only so long, and I choose to spend it with you.” Now I’d like to share part of those vows with you too.

You have only one life.

It is only so long.

I hope you’ll spend it feeling good.

I hope you’ll choose to spend it stepping away from striving. I hope you’ll spend it in pursuit of the freedom and power that come from learning to treat yourself with kindness and compassion, to create days filled with gratitude, and to embrace the shades of gray. I hope you’ll use the strategies and exercises in this book to work within the context of your life, instead of fighting against it.

I hope you’ll own who you are, without feeling as though your life has to look like someone else’s, and give up the idea that you need to be more disciplined and find more willpower. I hope you’ll find more calm, more clarity, and also more joy.

I hope you’ll use the tools in this book to streamline, simplify, and find more ease. To better handle the daily ups and downs, to find peace within your choices, and to know that your life isn’t going to look like anyone else’s—because that’s what makes it beautiful, because that’s what makes it yours. To define the true meaning of health, happiness, and feeling good for yourself, and to experience the incredible power of small shifts.

And I hope you’ll start right now—knowing that there’s no need to wait for January, or Monday, or next month. You now know you don’t have to wait for perfect. Starting now; making tiny, incremental steps; and finding a radical commitment and consistency will allow you to move forward sustainably, on your time, at your pace. I hope you’ll decide that it’s time to show up, to do the work, to know that you are completely capable. You and I may never meet in real life, but I know these following things for sure.

You deserve this life.

You deserve to enjoy the process, to find the ease, to allow for space.

You deserve to reframe what success looks like. For you. Right now.

You deserve to feel good.

Not only do you deserve it, but so do the people and community around you. My hope is that you’ll use the Feel Good Effect in your own life and allow the work to ripple outward, spreading and positively impacting other areas of work, family, relationships, and community. I believe that one of the greatest gifts I have given Elle is to live the Feel Good Effect myself; teaching her by example that there is an alternative to striving. Showing her that perfectionism, all-or-nothing thinking, and comparison need not be the default mode of operation in her own life. I’m teaching her that she can work smarter, creating a life with joy, ease, purpose, and contribution based on what works for her.

I believe that living the Feel Good Effect has made me a better partner and friend, and allowed me to contribute in ways I never thought possible. I believe the same for you. Take what you’ve learned in these pages and share it with the people in your life who can benefit from this shift.

Be the change.

Be the ripple.

Start right here, right now, right where you are.

A few final words of encouragement. The Feel Good Effect, at its core, is a powerful system of small shifts, a consistent process and practice. This book is here for you as a lifelong resource for support and guidance. Come back to it whenever you need a reset, some direction, or a few words of inspiration.

And don’t feel as if you have to go it alone. Change often comes as part of community, so don’t be afraid to create a structure of support. Make a Feel Good Effect book club. Use the resources available at realfoodwholelife.com/fgebook. Start right now by committing to the Feel Good Effect Challenge on this page. Start with the small shifts; then watch how everything changes.

Here’s to feeling good.