‘They were very happy together,’ Mum said. ‘They had a very close relationship.’ She glanced sideways at me and I knew what was coming. ‘If anything, it was too close.’
The police office arched his eyebrow. ‘How so?’
I gazed out of the window, watching the mist settle over Old Harry Rocks in the distance. A squawk caught my attention as seagulls circled over the waves crashing beneath them. Is this how it felt to them? To look down on the world below them, observing, but not participating?
‘They were inseparable. Jessica always did whatever he wanted, went wherever he wanted. Of course, she was too preoccupied with him to bother about spending time with her own mother.’
‘That’s not true.’ Indignance surged through me as my attention jolted back to focus on Mum. I’d still spent time with her. Not as much as I used to, but things were different. I’d had a boyfriend. I’d had… a life.
I slumped back against Mum’s sofa, as I realised just how much I had lost. Not just Adam, but our life together. A life with someone by my side. A life where I wasn’t alone.
Mum rolled her eyes at me and patted my hand. ‘You were obsessed with him, dear.’ She turned back to the police officer. ‘She was totally devoted to him. I don’t know how she’ll survive without him.’
The police officer’s gaze burned into me. He was weighing me up; judging me against Mum’s description. Did I seem like the broken-hearted girlfriend who couldn’t survive without the love of her life?
I squirmed in my seat. Possibly not.
I was sad. Of course I was sad. At one point I’d begun to think we might have a future together. But I learnt a long time ago that people always let me down. Adam was no exception. He’d just been a little harder to let go of.
We’d had so much potential at first. I’d truly thought that he was different, he was special.
I was wrong.
Was it fair to blame him for it, though? Maybe if we’d met sooner, before my life had become jaded by lies and betrayal, things might have been different for us. Maybe I would have been different.
I let out a long sigh and tugged at a loose thread on my blue sweater. Maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe I was destined to become who I was and changing the past wouldn’t have prevented it. Perhaps the darkness was always there, surrounding me, waiting…