CHAPTER NINETEEN

 

whom shall i fear?

A low, steady hum penetrated the silence. Lucian released Lindsay and gripped his cane. Rachael was beside him, her hand around his arm to help him rise. Just as he gained his feet, the sound rose in pitch to become the whine of the Barren’s flies. Lucian felt Catarina’s tainted essence seep around him. “No more,” he whispered.

They turned to face the Hell Gate.

The gibbous moon illuminated two figures cresting the rise of the hillock. Catarina perched on Cerberus’ back, riding the hound like a steed. The demon sniffed the ground and picked his path around the lingering resonance of Rachael’s enchantment.

They must have come through the Hell Gate, or perhaps his twin’s power had grown and she’d ridden the moon. How she’d reached them didn’t matter. Lucian tried to staunch his rising despair. She was here.

Rachael switched her knife to her left hand and drew her sword. She moved in front of Lindsay. “Get behind me. Give me room to move.”

“Lucian?” Lindsay stepped away from Rachael.

“Do as she says.”

Lindsay nodded and ran back several paces then stopped.

Lucian drew his sword and glanced at Rachael. “Stay behind me.”

“No.”

“Rachael.”

“I will not leave you.”

His desperation receded. She had her blind side to him, and he couldn’t read her expression. Her words were enough. He wouldn’t have to face his sister and her demon alone. Perhaps this time, he stood a chance; he returned his attention to his twin.

Catarina’s clear, beautiful voice sang a wordless lullaby Lucian remembered from their youth. She had hummed the same tune when she closed the door to his cell. A song of sleep; a song of death.

The wind carried the earthy-sweet smell of the grave as she neared. Her gown barely covered her nakedness. She wore her long dark hair like a veil to obscure her features. The pendant with her emblem swung between her breasts; the ravens’ obsidian eyes reflected the moonlight. Cerberus halted, his head swinging back and forth to view Rachael and Lindsay. Less than ten feet separated them.

“Have you missed me, Lucian?” Catarina asked.

Lucian placed himself between his sister and Rachael. “Go home, Cate.”

Catarina tossed her wild mane out of her face. For one terrifying instant, Lucian saw a thousand eyes sparkle across her features. The flies whined in a maddening crescendo. Lucian blinked. It had to be an illusion. The multiple eyes disappeared, and the chorus of flies waned.

Catarina slithered off the demon’s back; her bare feet sank in the mud. “You’ve led me on a splendid chase.”

He hefted his blade and took a step forward. “You could have stayed home.”

She smiled, her eyes glittering like shards of glass. “I think I’ll make you my fool.”

His next step faltered, and while he tried to convince himself his bad knee betrayed him, he knew the truth. She meant what she said and her power to terrify him had not diminished. No corruption was beneath her. She would make him her fool, paint his face, and force him into the streets to beg if it pleased her. To keep Lindsay safe, he’d do whatever his twin wanted, and she knew it.

Catarina’s smile broadened.

Lucian swallowed past the dry click in his throat and whispered, “I’m not going back.”

“Of course you are.” She touched her pendant. “I will dress you in motley colors and you will perform your crippled dance for my guests.” She capered in a tight circle, lifting her right leg awkwardly to mimic him. Tottering to a silent rhythm, she hunched forward, mocking his lumbering gait.

His face burned with shame. He resisted the urge to fling the despised cane aside. Unable to bear the thought of Rachael’s pity, he kept his gaze on his twin.

“Good God,” Rachael whispered, “she’s gone mad.”

Catarina stopped her dance and folded her hands demurely in front of her. “Rachael. Sister of my heart. Mastema sends his greetings.”

Rachael said nothing, but Lucian could see her face now, and her eye narrowed to grow frigid with hate. She wouldn’t trade taunts with Catarina. Rachael’s weapon was silence, so he didn’t wait for her to retort. “Go home, Cate,” he said.

“And the foundling.” Catarina looked at Lindsay, who shuddered beneath the older woman’s glare. “Little Lindsay Richardson, pale as glass. I shall break you.”

Ice plunged through his chest. “Leave her alone, Cate.”

Catarina pushed Cerberus away from her. “Disarm Rachael. I want the girl.”

Lucian tried to block Cerberus’ path, but the demon trotted around him, heading for Rachael. The hum of flies rose in the night. Rachael summoned her soul-light into her blade. The resonance of her magic stirred within Lucian’s soul as she whispered, “‘The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?’”

“Fear me,” Catarina said as she advanced, “you one-eyed whore.”

Cerberus circled Rachael, growling low, but he didn’t attack.

Rachael glared at Catarina and her voice grew stronger. “‘The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?’”

The light in her sword grew to a blaze, and Cerberus backed away. It was a magnificent display, but Lucian knew she couldn’t keep it up. As quick as his thought, Rachael’s light dimmed to a bare glow. She was exhausted.

Catarina turned to Lucian. “You have forsworn yourself.” She pointed to his hand where he still wore his father’s ring.

Lucian clenched his jaw. Whenever she felt threatened, she began a trajectory of arguments that circled around him. She never changed her tactics, yet he wasn’t prepared for the strength of the recollection.

He recalled his mother pressing the bloodied ring to his lips, forcing him to swear an oath that would be impossible to keep. He’d been a terrified child, and his mother had been half-mad with grief. The memory was so strong he tasted his father’s blood on his tongue.

Catarina’s power had grown, and she charged his memories with her own. Lucian remembered the smell of the herbs burning in the fire to sweeten the winter rooms, the odor of fresh thrushes on the floor. He saw his mother’s dark eyes, red with tears; could almost feel her face next to his.

He shook his head to rid himself of the remembrance, struggling out of Catarina’s spell. God help me, please. He saw a light in his soul and ran from the past toward the truth. He’d thought himself noble for always watching over his sister. All his life he’d taken the blame for her crimes, eased her emotional pain, healed her wounds, but she was never satisfied. She was a bottomless pit of need and he had nothing left to give. He’d been a fool.

When he looked up again, she had moved closer to him. She held something dark in her hand. “You swore, Lucian. You swore to watch over me all of my days.”

“And you descended into madness despite my vigilance!” He flung his cane aside and yanked his father’s ring from his hand. He threw it at her. “I am forsworn.”

The ring smacked her shoulder and disappeared into the mud at her feet. He no longer cared.

“She’s turned you against me.” Catarina jabbed her finger in Rachael’s direction. “Like Mircea turned everyone against father!”

“Stop it, Cate.”

“She used you to drive us apart at the Citadel. You allowed it to happen. She was always jealous of us. This is your fault, Lucian. If you had left her alone, I never would have given myself to the Fallen!”

“No.” That wasn’t true. Catarina had been drawn to the Fallen’s allure of power from the beginning. All she’d ever needed was an excuse.

“She’s bewitched you!”

“No!” His roar stunned her to silence. “It is you, Cate. It is your selfishness, your hate, your incessant demands! If anyone bewitched and drove me away, it is you!”

Catarina’s head rocked as if he’d struck her. Lucian shut his mouth. He’d gone too far. He saw it in her eyes. Fear stole his breath.

Behind him, Rachael continued her chant, and he heard Lindsay too. He attempted to concentrate on their voices, to enfold them in his heart, but their prayers faded. His twin held him locked within her murderous gaze. She would not let him go.

A fly brushed against his face and he waved it aside. He felt the flush of the Fallen’s power wash over him, a red wave of Catarina’s fury sent terror into his soul. The sound of flies thrummed through the air. Lucian summoned his soul-light and channeled it into Matthew’s blade. He looked toward the Barren where a great, black cloud rose into the sky. The cloud began to move toward them.

“I warned you.” Catarina’s pallid features swam out of the blackness. “Remember that, Lucian. I warned you not to estrange yourself from me.” She raised her arms as the cloud surged overhead. A clap like thunder tore through the air. The flies descended.

†

Lindsay saw the cloud fall toward them. Lucian’s panic filtered into her mind, then he shut her out. She remembered to shield her mind as he taught her. Catarina wouldn’t find her such an easy target again.

Flies landed on Lindsay’s hands and face and pain shot across her skin, especially where Speight had cut her. The flies bit her like they were trying to eat her alive. Their bodies quickly grew heavy with her blood. The familiar panic washed over her, but this time, she pushed it down.

Lucian cried out, and by the light of his sword, she saw tears of blood streak his face. The insects engulfed him. He dropped his weapon and fell, trying to scrape the flies off his face. Horror seeped into her. The flies were in his nose, crawling into his mouth; he couldn’t breathe.

Catarina laughed and kicked him in the stomach.

Lindsay shouted, but Catarina ignored her. She waved more of the flies away and tried to think. Her knife was gone, but maybe she just needed to stay out of the way. Rachael was here now.

Rachael moved toward Lucian. Cerberus darted between them, driving her back. She swung her sword at the demon. Cerberus easily pranced out of reach. Rachael favored her left side, and in the moonlight, Lindsay saw the woman was bleeding again.

Her sword no longer glowed and by her weak resonance, Lindsay knew Rachael couldn’t summon even the faintest magic. Lucian said the Katharoi had to rest between enchantments. The Fallen’s disciples used amulets to channel their power and didn’t need to stop.

Catarina kicked Lucian again, her necklace swung between her breasts. Lindsay’s anger raced through her veins and she focused on the amulet. The pendant glowed now as it had when Catarina attacked her and Lucian in the woods. That had to be where Catarina got her power.

At a command from Catarina, the flies rose into the sky and hovered over them. She stroked Lucian’s hair and whispered to him. Lindsay didn’t need to hear the words. Lucian coughed and retched, then shook his head. He wasn’t going back. Catarina’s lips were tight with rage; she straightened and brought her hand down. The flies descended again.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lindsay saw Cerberus’ pallid form flash by on her right; the demon was only a few feet away. Rachael doubled over and gasped for air. Cerberus whirled and charged her again. She straightened and barely deflected the demon’s attack. Lindsay stumbled away from the pair and returned her attention to Catarina and Lucian.

Catarina picked up Lucian’s cane and swung it hard into his side. The mantle absorbed some of the blow, but Lindsay heard his ribs crack. Oh, God, she’s going to kill him. The same terror and rage Lindsay felt at the Melasur Bridge rushed through her veins. She focused on Catarina’s necklace and edged around the pair until she was behind Catarina. She’d messed up with Speight by hesitating. She wouldn’t screw up again. Lindsay ran toward the woman.

Catarina swung the cane for another blow, and Lindsay launched herself at Catarina’s back. She hooked one arm around Catarina’s throat, then reached around and twined her fingers into the pendant’s chain. It was like grabbing a chunk of ice. The cold was so intense, Lindsay almost released the links, but Lucian gagged, and she knew she couldn’t let go now. Catarina would kill them all. Lindsay held on. Overhead, the stars wheeled as Catarina howled and whirled, trying to throw Lindsay off her back.

They crashed to the ground together, and Lindsay felt her arm slip. The bandages tore through her blisters and she cried out. She kept her arm around Catarina’s throat and her fingers intertwined in the chain. Catarina reached backward and her fingernails found Lindsay’s face. She dragged her nails through the open wound on Lindsay’s cheek, and Lindsay didn’t recognize her own voice. The sound that poured through her lips lay somewhere between a shriek of rage and the cry of a wounded animal. Tears gushed from her eyes, but she didn’t lose her focus.

She ignored the burning cold that seared her hand and wound her fingers in the chain until she held the pendant. Two ravens locked together. The pendant seemed the weakest where the beaks joined. The amulet glowed, and Lindsay concentrated on the necklace. She visualized the pendant breaking. Nothing happened. Some kind of spell fused the metal tight. Lindsay reached into her rage; she poured her grief and hate into her spell. Sweat drenched her hair.

Catarina’s elbow jabbed Lindsay’s side and pain flooded her chest. Lindsay directed all of her fury into her magic and envisioned the pendant snapping in half. She felt the metal give and the glow seemed dimmer. Come on, God. If I never do anything right again, let me do this. Please.

Catarina’s next blow caught the side of Lindsay’s head. Blackness edged Lindsay’s vision. No! I’m not done! She struggled to hold on to consciousness. Catarina grabbed the pendant and tried to wrest it from Lindsay’s grasp. They both held a raven’s body, and Lindsay gripped her half until her knuckles were white. She pulled and felt the metal give. The obsidian eye from Catarina’s raven fell into the mud. Lindsay grunted and yanked with every ounce of her energy.

The pendant broke. 

The flies died, falling to the ground like thick black raindrops. Catarina shrieked and threw Lindsay off her back. This time Lindsay let go and closed her eyes, wincing against her anticipated impact. Water and mud splashed around her, but the pain was nothing like holding that burning pendant. She opened her hand and her half of the raven pendant fell into the mud.

Lindsay felt Lucian’s consciousness flicker in the back of her mind, guttering like a candle. He wasn’t dead; she knew he wasn’t dead. His thoughts were confused, and he didn’t try to shield his mind from her. He struggled to his knees and vomited flies. Lindsay swallowed her own bile and looked away.

Rachael turned to see what happened. Cerberus’ eyes glowed in the night. With a snarl, he launched himself at her. The demon feinted right, but when she turned to meet his attack, he dodged left with uncanny speed. She couldn’t reverse her turn. The demon’s talons caught her shoulder and they went down together.

The pair landed a few feet from Lindsay. Rachael fell on her back and released her sword. The blade landed a hand’s span out of her reach. Cerberus snapped at her face. Lindsay screamed Rachael’s name, and the woman whipped her head to the side in time to keep her nose.

Lindsay forced herself to her knees and saw Catarina stand beside Lucian. Her coal black eyes glittered in the night and her glare pinned Lindsay to the ground. Never had the girl seen such hate roil off another human, and she realized too late that Catarina’s power went deeper than an amulet. She was once Katharos too. Lindsay’s mouth went dry. She may have hurt Catarina, but she hadn’t stopped her.

“Cerberus! Stop!” Catarina approached Lindsay. “You foolish girl.”

†

Lucian felt his sister’s skirts brush his cheek. She reeked of ashes and death. Lindsay’s fear joined his, and he shielded his mind from her. His head ached and his throat was on fire. He glimpsed the pale outline of Catarina’s leg and reached out to snag her ankle. Catarina tripped and fell to the muddy ground. She kicked backwards and Lucian barely dodged her blow, but he didn’t let her go.

“Release me or Rachael is dead!”

He saw Rachael sprawled beneath the demon, her sword out of reach, and his heart withered. He released Catarina.

“Come home, Lucian.” She stood and looked down at him. “I’ll let them go.”

She wouldn’t. She had no intention of allowing any of them to leave. Not now. Not ever.

His twin opened her hand and he saw his scarred prism. “Do you remember when you showed me the colors? Do you remember the garden, Lucian?”

He looked into the glass and recalled laughing with her when the prism’s light had danced on the wall. Her hair had smelled of sunshine, and he’d thought of Rachael. “I remember.” Hoarseness distorted his voice.

“You said it wasn’t magic, but surely it must be.” An eerie calm settled over her, and a tear flowed down Lucian’s cheek.

His twin stepped closer. “I can’t bring forth the light without you, Lucian. Come home.”

He slouched forward and put his hand over his eyes. Only one thing would make her stop. He couldn’t stand to see the hurt in Rachael’s eye again. “Forgive me.”

“What?” Catarina bent down. “Did you say something, Lucian?”

“Lucian,” Lindsay said, “don’t.”

He screwed his eyes shut and extended his hand to his sister. God help him, he was the worst kind of coward. If he intended to do this, he should at least have the courage to look her in the eye. Lucian met his twin’s stony gaze. “Cate, please.” The words were gravel in his throat. “Forgive me.”

Catarina smiled and took his hand. He drew Caleb’s knife and yanked her down. With one quick thrust, he drove the blade into her chest. She fell against him with a small gasp. He wrapped his arms around her. “I’m so sorry, Cate,” he whispered against her hair. “So sorry.”

Lucian rocked her gently. When she struggled against him, he held her tighter. He had promised to take care of her and he failed. He couldn’t save her from herself. A sharp pain spread through his chest as he took her agony for his own, but he didn’t heal her. This time he would not heal her.

Her breath tickled his ear. “We are never the same,” she said as she slid her bloodied thumb across his forehead, “without you at my side.” Her dark eyes were afire with moonlight and madness. “I will come back for you, brother.”

†

Rachael turned her face away from the stench of Cerberus’ breath. The demon pinned her arm so she couldn’t move her knife. Water splashed her face and Cerberus twisted. The hilt of her sword bumped against her hand.

Cerberus growled and his tail lashed out. Rachael heard Lindsay yell in surprise and pain. Rachael grasped her weapon. Before she could lift it, Cerberus leapt away. She slashed wildly with her knife, hoping to hit the demon. Cerberus howled when the blade flayed open a length of his hide.

From her knees, she stabbed at the demon a second time with her sword and her weapon glanced off his ribs. He turned on her. She stood and her next blow took him across the jaw. Cerberus shrieked and ran for the Hell Gate.

Rachael let him go; she’d never catch him, not in her condition. He wouldn’t be back. Not tonight. The Hell Gate crackled and the demon disappeared.

Lindsay sat on the wet ground and cradled her arm.

“What happened?” Rachael went to her and examined the long welt that went from Lindsay’s elbow to her wrist.

“He was so occupied with you, I was able to get close enough to push your sword to you. He whacked me with his tail.”

The burn didn’t look serious, although Rachael knew from experience how painful a demon wound could be. She examined the girl’s palm and frowned.

“It’s okay. It hurts, but I’m okay.” Lindsay pulled her hand away and looked toward Lucian.

“Yes,” Rachael whispered. “Yes, you are. You did well. Lucian will be proud.”

Lindsay didn’t answer, but went to Lucian. Silence pealed across the meadow, and the girl stood beside him, rubbing his back. She looked up when Rachael neared. “He promised me he wouldn’t kill anybody unless he had to.” Lindsay’s glare dared Rachael to contradict her. “He said God wouldn’t be mad if we defended our lives and that’s all he did. He defended us.”

Rachael struggled to make her thoughts work but exhaustion numbed her mind. Her tongue felt thick and useless. “Lindsay.”

“I can’t feel him anymore,” she said as she brushed dead flies off his shoulders. “He’s shut me out and won’t let me see his thoughts.” Lindsay looked up at Rachael, her gaze no longer defiant. “He’ll listen to you. Just tell him he’s not going to be in trouble so he doesn’t feel bad anymore.”

Rachael rested her hand on the girl’s shoulder to stop her words. “All right.” She knelt in front of Lucian, and Lindsay remained beside him, a ragged and dirty angel. When Rachael saw Lucian’s grief, she forgot the girl was there. She wiped his face tenderly. “Lucian?”

“It was the only way,” he whispered and stroked his sister’s cheek.

“I know. Let her rest.” She helped him ease Catarina’s body to the ground. “Let her go.” Let her go. She’d said it enough times when they were young, but tonight he finally listened to her. He released his twin and folded Catarina’s hands over her chest.

She didn’t look peaceful. Even in death, hate scarred her features; she’d harbored no emotion but rage. Rachael had known when Catarina rode up on the demon’s back that she’d paid the ultimate price for her power. Dry as a husk, she had no love left in her. Even now, Lucian couldn’t see his twin’s faults.

He smoothed her hair and gasped, jerking his hand out of her tangled locks. A diamond hairpin fell into the mud, one stone winking in the moonlight.

“It’s all right.” Rachael turned his hand to better see the wound. The cut was small, a pinprick.

A drop of his blood seeped from his thumb to trickle between Catarina’s parted lips. A pall passed over Rachael, but in her fatigue, she shrugged it off. Catarina was dead and the dead don’t come back.

Lucian didn’t notice. He removed his cloak and wrapped it around Catarina’s corpse. “She was always cold.”

Lindsay stood back, her face ghostly in the moonlight. Rachael glanced up at her; the girl didn’t need to see this. “Can you find his cane?”

Lindsay nodded and left them to their task.

To keep her hands busy, Rachael helped him secure the mantle as a makeshift shroud. “We’ll build a cairn for her in the morning. When we get to the Citadel, I’ll send some Katharoi back for her body.” Not for Catarina. Rachael didn’t care if Catarina went back to Hell, but Lucian would never forgive himself for leaving his sister here. “We’ll bring her home.” For Lucian’s sake.

He met her gaze with a look so lost her heart broke for him. No words could give comfort to his grief. She wrapped her arms around him so she wouldn’t have to see his eyes. He took a low shuddering breath.

“There’s nothing wrong with mourning her,” Rachael whispered into his hair. Several minutes passed and he remained tense, locked tight in his memories; Rachael knew she’d never touch him. Just when she thought she should release him, a sob racked his body. She could only stroke his neck and speak the magic words John had once said to her. “It’s all right. They have no power over you now. It’s all right.”

A flicker of movement caught her eye as Lindsay edged close. She held Lucian’s cane tight against her chest and watched them, obviously unsettled by the intensity of Lucian’s sorrow. Rachael drew the girl into their embrace.

Lindsay put her arm around Rachael’s neck. “Is it over?” she whispered.

The tin box holding the sigil thrummed with a pulse all its own against Rachael’s breast. She wasn’t done. Not yet.