SINCE WE LAST SPOKE

I wanted to catch y’all up on what has been going on for me and Magnolia Kitchen since I put finger to keyboard for the last book back in 2018 (released in April 2019).

I recently celebrated the first anniversary of Magnolia Kitchen: Inspired Baking with Personality. (You should all know by now that the ‘personality’ in the subtitle is code for I SWEAR IN THE BOOK.) I honestly hadn’t even realised that it had been an entire year since it hit the shelves! Someone on Instagram had tagged me in a picture taken when I launched the book at the General Collective Market, adding the words ‘1 year bookaversary’. To be honest, it was the furthest thing from my mind—on 1 April New Zealand was in its first week of Covid-19 FULL LOCKDOWN. I was busy stressing about the pandemic, juggling kids at home, trying to figure out how Magnolia Kitchen as a business fitted into all the lockdown rules . . . What a time!!

Realising that my book had been out for a whole year made me so happy and so overwhelmed all at once. I mean, still selling a year later?! To celebrate, I decided to do a live lockdown reading on Instagram. I lined it up, then I sat in a comfy chair in the sun and read through the chapter titled ‘The journey to becoming Magnolia Kitchen’. It was fun to revisit what I had written, and it also brought up so many emotions—all the emotions I felt when I was writing that chapter—and yes of course I cried (haha). I haven’t yet been able to read it once without crying! I am apparently not alone, though, as a fair few of you have cried reading it too.

While reading the chapter live to you all I realised how much had changed since I wrote it; I actually felt blown away with what I had achieved in that time. So of course it’s a no-brainer to fill you in (and who knows—maybe there will be some inspiration in there for someone).

Let’s kick off with September 2018 . . . the news was out that I had a book coming and it was so exciting to be sharing that news with my community. It had been hard keeping the secret for about a year while I was writing—I had literally wanted to scream it from the rooftops. Life returned to semi-normal after the book was sent off to the printers and all we had left to do was plan for the launch the following April, which seemed an interminable time away.

My little James started school in October 2018, which was a huge milestone. Actually, before this book comes out even Edward will have been at school for a couple of months. WHAT?!! All you school mums—I know you hear me when I say 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. is not enough time to get any real work done. By the time you walk them into school, then get to work and get a coffee and settle in, it’s practically 10.30. Then you’re up and out by 2.30 p.m. to get a park so you can walk in and wait by the class and have a chat to the teacher . . . I am still adjusting now, and it’s halfway through 2020!

I still remember Magnolia Kitchen Sweet Cafe ramping up for Christmas 2018. Christmas always being our busiest crazy time of year, it passed in a blur. By this stage I’d added more tools to my product line alongside my sharp-as-shit scrapers and had released my Magnolia Kitchen icing spatula set, cake detailing palette knives and denim aprons. The ideas around tools, more retail products and merchandise were endless, and also included online courses—of which I now have 16! I have continued to create and develop products throughout 2019–2020 and hope to have a full range of our baking kits available internationally (along with this book) by the end of the year.

Early in January 2019, the news went viral that my book was available for pre-order online in a few places. The fact that I hadn’t even offered pre-sales on my website was a bit of a faux pas, but I’d underestimated just how keen you’d all be to instantly pre-order my book from wherever you could. I hustled, and a week later got my own pre-sales going through the Magnolia Kitchen online store.

I can’t even begin to explain the whirlwind of those early months of pre-sales. People instantly discovered that there were preview recipes available as part of the advertising. One day in January I was working late; having just popped out to get KFC for dinner and parked back at Magnolia Kitchen, I took a quick peek at Instagram—and found that someone had tagged me on a picture of MY Signature Rich Chocolate Cake that they had just baked from the preview available online! Nothing—and I really mean nothing—could have prepared me for the overwhelming emotional roller-coaster that hit me as I looked at the very first picture of someone making one of my recipes. I literally burst into tears—not upset, just overwhelmed happy tears. I couldn’t believe that I had written a book that people were going crazy pre-ordering and waiting months to receive AND that someone had actually used my recipe and made it look as perfect as it should. So many emotions, and so much gratitude for how my community had yet again supported another journey within Magnolia Kitchen. The trust everyone has in my products and recipes is just insane but also hugely heart-warming.

There are so many big moments and firsts I have to share, like when Mel from Allen & Unwin turned up at Magnolia Kitchen unexpectedly on a Saturday . . . As I looked up to see her passing the window I saw what she had in her hand! MY BOOK, MY BEAUTIFUL BOOK, IN HARD COPY IN REAL LIFE. I am not ashamed to say that I squealed and shook and cried! I even hugged!! Nothing beats seeing your hard work, the journey of writing, all bound in a neat hardcover book!

For the next while, I watched my book climb to number 7 on Book Depository’s OVERALL bestsellers list!! My book, written by me who has no training in baking, who had never written a book before and has no qualifications to my name, was on one of the biggest international booksellers’ bestsellers list. If that doesn’t sound cool enough, guess who had the number 1 spot . . . Only Michelle Obama! Does life get any better? Turns out, this was just the beginning of the firsts for my little book. By the time the book actually launched on 1 April the publisher had already had to have it reprinted because the first print run had sold out in pre-orders.

I am not saying all of this to be narcissistic; I just want to share the feelings of overwhelming joy, pride and disbelief at having my book achieve all of this even before it was officially launched, and to say THANK YOU to all of my community, local and international, who believed in my book enough to buy it before even seeing it! That kind of faith is something I will never ever forget. My success, Magnolia Kitchen’s success, and my success as an author is all down to my community. Of course it is hugely down to Allen & Unwin too for the trust they put in me.

This picture is what bribery looks like. Charlotte has grown up so much since the last book, and I really wanted her captured in this one. This is her ‘I am only just tolerating you’ face and my ‘I am enjoying your only-just-toleration way more than I should’ face.

The week before launch day finally arrived. We took delivery of 800 books; 600 of them had been pre-sold online and I worked all night to sign them, write messages and package them up into courier bags. The rest were earmarked for the event at the General Collective Market on 30 April. That was another crazy ride—I couldn’t see the end of the line where customers were waiting to have their copies signed. Selfies, cock and balls (die-hard MK fans will know what that means) and personal messages for an entire day! I had so much fun meeting everyone that day. I was lucky to have all of my staff there, along with my husband Harley and daughter Charlotte, to be my emotional support ’cause that shit was so overwhelming; half the time I thought I was going to spontaneously combust!

As time went on I started to settle into life as an author. There was still so much hype around the book—it was selling out internationally and even managed to be the number 1 book in New Zealand for a couple of weeks—and I decided it was time for a break. I jetted off to Melbourne with my girls and we lived it up for four days, then they headed home and I stayed on to do a book signing at Dymocks in Melbourne. Another WTF? moment for me—an international signing?! And a REALLY BUSY signing that people lined up for more than two hours for. How on earth did I get here? It showed me again just how strong my online community is. You guys actually keep me going and remind me daily how far I have come, how much Magnolia Kitchen has grown into an international brand. I will be eternally grateful for this journey and to all of you who have made it possible and played a part.

FROM HIGHS TO LOWS

I want to talk through this because I wish someone had talked about it with me. I wish I had known it was coming so I could have put steps in place to not fall so hard.

The comedown from writing the book came fast, and it came hard. For over 18 months, the book had been my focus. The excitement of being approached to write it, then actually having to plan it and write it, then doing the photo shoot with Lottie, then all the other steps and milestones throughout the whole journey: pre-sales, reprints, the launch, the media events, and then finally the well-earned break. What next? I was left in limbo, creatively and emotionally drained, and wondering who I was now. Was I the person who showed up on Instagram? Was I just a mum, a wife? Was I Magnolia Kitchen? Was I an author? I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t feel, and I kept bursting into tears randomly. I felt like I had given away so much of what defined me as a person. My friends and family started to worry about me and gently pressed me to see a doctor. I had started feeling like I wanted to just leave—to hop in the car and drive away without telling anyone I was going, or for how long or where. I truly imagined this every single day: just driving away from my life, my family and my business. From everything and everyone I loved and who loved me.

It sounds so scary as I type this, but I think it’s important to read it in its harsh truth, to understand it for what it was and to also look back and know that I have come through it.

I made a doctor’s appointment. I told him all of this and we discussed mood-stabilising drugs to help me find my happy again. He also referred me to a therapist so I could talk through the whys and hows of my feelings. I am eternally thankful to my friend Katie who warned me about mood-stabilisers—that it would get worse before it got better, and I needed to trust that gradually I would adjust and a happy day would shine through. How right she was! It took two weeks of not getting out of bed, not visiting the cafe, but one day I woke up and I FELT HAPPY!! It was such a shock; I immediately messaged Katie to tell her. The most shocking part was that this feeling of happiness was something I hadn’t properly felt in a couple of years. I had been riding the highs and living off stress for so long that I hadn’t allowed myself to consider what being happy really was.

Gradually the happy days became more frequent and I started to be more open about what I had been through. I think it is so important to normalise these experiences and talk about them openly. It gives people an understanding of where you are at, it allows them to help you and it allows you to feel good about letting them.

Why did this all happen? I came to the realisation that I had placed a lot of importance on being busy, on having deadlines and projects. When all was done I felt like I was without purpose, and it wasn’t a feeling I was used to so it sent me into a tailspin. Of course, part of that realisation made me quickly start planning new projects haha, which right or wrong helped me get back on track, along with the medication. I am still medicated today as I am writing this, and I’m okay with that. I feel good about how far I have come; and having the support of my family, friends, staff and online community has been yet another positive. I have learned to accept support when needed.

That pretty much brings us to 2020. Did I mention I’m writing a second book . . . haha, kind of obvious, right? Oh and the other new project was the relocation of Magnolia Kitchen Sweet Cafe! I never thought when I opened in late 2016 that by early 2017 I would have expanded and leased the shop next door as a prep kitchen. Or that by the end of 2019 I would be viewing a premises down the road that would more than triple our floor space. Regardless of my naivety over the growth of Magnolia Kitchen, the time had come to expand.

The negotiations over the new premises took a couple of months and, as these things usually go, the timeline got pushed out to the last week of January. I sketched up the plans for the new space, which was a complete blank canvas: a huge 308-square-metre space with a concrete floor and exposed ceiling beams for a cool industrial look. Oh my, and the windows—morning sun until 11 a.m. and SO much space for activities.

Harley was shitting a brick over the sheer size of the project. The setting-up of the other spaces seemed so fresh in his mind, and to be fair it had only been three years since the first and two years since the second. Luckily he is on board for the Magnolia Kitchen ride, and once I had shown him that I’d done my due diligence, and planned and budgeted everything within an inch of its life, he felt more comfortable. It also helped that for this fit-out I had insisted on budgeting for a project team, The Home Skills Company, who might I say were AMAZING. They made the whole process seem less daunting and from start to finish the project took just over 2 weeks!!! When it came to the actual move, I was absolutely shocked; we shut the OG Magnolia Kitchen on Monday and Tuesday and had all hands on deck to shift all the kitchen and cafe furniture from one premises to the other. Then reopened on the Wednesday at the new location.

I now had a self-designed, real-life, larger-than-life, MASSIVE new kitchen (perspective—the same size as our previous two premises put together), plus a huge Sweet Cafe with a swanky new coffee machine from Atomic and enough space to seat 28 people comfortably (pre-Covid-19 and social distancing, of course). A huge office space for Serena and me, so huge that we sit approximately 6 metres apart. Eight times the storage and stock shelving, and even a back door with a deck for rubbish bin storage!!! I have made Lottie (epic photographer) come back now that we have moved and photograph everything so that I can show off the epic new space in this book. I am so proud of myself and my team: the work that went into this new location was huge to say the least and it all came together with little to no drama.

We opened the new premises officially at the end of February—just in time for a worldwide pandemic! We only got to properly enjoy three weeks of our new space before the social distancing restrictions were announced, and shortly after that New Zealand was swiftly put into a full country-wide lockdown. I don’t want to go into too much detail around this, as it is currently still dominating and destroying life across the world. It still seems surreal, and while New Zealand was able to act fast to flatten the curve and reduce the spread I know that so many in my community internationally are still experiencing scary times. My heart goes out to all those affected, on a personal level, on a business level and on a country level. By the time this book hits the shelves I have the highest of hopes that internationally things will be becoming safer and contained. Stay safe and strong, all of you.

As a business owner with a new shop and hugely inflated overheads, ten staff and their families to support and keep safe, along with keeping my own family safe and provided for, it has been a really crazy stressful time with so much unknown. What has been a constant for me is the knowledge that we are all in this together—everyone is scared, anxious, worried and stressed. Remembering that helps a lot! The pandemic has stretched me to the limits of my capabilities as a brand and a business owner. Thinking on my feet. Re-thinking how we do business, what products work and what don’t work. What new products I can develop that bring value and comfort to communities. New Zealand has really come together in supporting local businesses, to boost our economy and keep our country going. So much thanks goes out to our community for their continued support of Magnolia Kitchen through these challenging times. We have so far survived this and will continue to do so thanks to you all! I hope that everyone can experience this feeling of comradeship in their countries and towns across the world. With the support of our communities both locally and online, and with humility, education and change, I truly believe that while life may never look the same again it will move forward, we will grow together, and that is something we can count on.

To end this catch-up on a high note, I would like to officially introduce you all to Magnolia Kitchen Boutique. The latest venture under the Magnolia Kitchen brand is the result of some creative thinking during lockdown. I had designed the new Magnolia Kitchen space with a small front area that had huge window frontage and opened into the cafe. It was originally intended to be leased out to a florist, but then lockdown happened and everything fell through. I knew that I still wanted flowers to be part of what we did in that empty space—floristry has always been something I wanted to learn—and we also had this burgeoning list of retail products that we now supply and sell through Magnolia Kitchen. Now I will say that I am smart enough to know that re-training myself in floristry would be an over-commitment currently (see? I’m learning to rein myself in!), so I needed to hire someone to run this space for me, someone who was passionate about both flowers and Magnolia Kitchen. Then I had a lightbulb moment: guess what Covid-19 had brought home to New Zealand? My darling moon-child Abby (previously appearing in my first book as one of the Magnolia Kitchen cake fluffers). Abby had left us to travel overseas but had returned with no real plans because of the pandemic. She’d been helping us out at Magnolia Kitchen as a ‘ring-in’, but when I had my lightbulb moment I immediately messaged her to ask if she would be interested in running the space and learning flowers too.

A massive yes from her, and together we have started the new fit-out journey. The space will be brimming with flowers, both fresh and dried, and customers will be able to peruse shelves stocked with all the Magnolia Kitchen merchandise and retail products. Oh, and my books of course. It has been a whirlwind setting up the new Instagram and website, along with shopping for second-hand props, for shelving and interior design ideas! I am thankful that Abby and I are on the same page—the fit-out is low-cost and won’t take long to set up. We are going for a mixture of boho, ’70s, Scandinavian, minimalist, sleek . . . just cool stuff that we like.

I can’t wait to share this new journey with you all! Until the next catch up, ciao.

xx Bets