We were back in a lift, this time going all the way to the top floor. It was a little awkward being in that confined space while watching Princess Bianca struggle against her urge to tear Orlando’s clothes off, so I decided to break the silence.
“Are you a theotic mage, then, Princess?”
She blushed prettily. Of course she did. “Oh no, I am a mere hobbyist.”
“Come now, Your Highness,” said Orlando. “Having seen your astral form, I would say you’re far more than a hobbyist.”
“You really think so, Mage Mozamo?” the princess replied, and I could swear that her bosom was in danger of bursting the seams of her gown.
“As I frequently tell Arcanist Featherstone, my associate here, academic certification is the least qualification for magehood.”
The princess frowned, also prettily. “Arcanist? I’m not familiar with the term.”
“It’s someone who studies magic, but doesn’t practice it,” I said.
“I see…” I could tell by her expression that she didn’t. “And you are currently studying under Mage Mozamo?”
The only reason I didn’t say something I would regret later was because I was too busy choking on my outrage, which gave Orlando the opportunity to intervene. “Actually, Your Highness, Arcanist Featherstone is a renowned authority in the field of grimoric sigil magic, and on behalf of the Interguild Disciplinary Council, I have employed her, at great expense, to lend her expertise and skills so that we might prevent the impending crisis.”
I wasn’t sure about the “at great expense” part, since he was only paying ten silver a day, but it seemed to impress Her Highness. I guess she might not understand knowledge for its own sake, but she did understand money, and the influence it brought.
“Oh, I see,” said Princess Bianco. “It would be difficult to imagine you, Mage Mozamo, soiling your reputation with grimoric magic, so I suppose it makes sense that you would hire Arcanist Featherstone to handle the more distasteful aspects of your mission.”
I had to laugh at that.
“Your Highness,” Orlando said carefully, “I realize that you have not had the benefit of mage society, but we prefer not to speak about other forms of magic in such… disparaging language.”
The princess gave me a penitent look that was, naturally, just as pretty as the rest. “My apologizes if I have offended, Arcanist Featherstone.”
I smiled. “As far as I’m concerned, all mages, grimoric or theotic, can go fuck themselves raw with a rusty war hammer.”
Judging by how the color drained from her perfect face, it seemed likely no one had ever spoken to her in that way before. I felt somewhat touched to be the first and winked at her. In response, she began carefully studying her shoes.
“I do apologize for my associate, Your Highness,” Orlando said wearily. “I fear that the nature of her work often brings her into contact with less reputable elements of society, and some of that has rubbed off on her. I can assure you that her overall value far outweighs her… negative qualities.”
“If you have faith in her abilities, then so do I, Mage Mozamo,” she said resolutely. “And if we must put up with such… coarse eccentricities to save our beloved Penador, it seems a small price.”
“Thank you, Your Highness. You are most gracious.” He turned to me. “Isn’t that right, Arcanist Featherstone?”
“Maybe she’s a little too quick to say that, Mage Mozamo, because I’m just getting warmed up. By the way, Princess, I hope your dad has a liquor cabinet, because I am entirely too sober to save the kingdom right now.”