BETWEEN-SESSIONS PERSONAL STUDY

You are invited to further explore the themes of Unashamed by engaging in any or all of the following between-sessions activity options. Any time you invest will be well spent; let God use it to draw you closer to him. And, as time allows, share with the group what you are learning when you gather next.

Counting the Cost

We pay a price when we continue to harbor shame in our lives. We may not even realize how great the cost unless we stop to evaluate the damage. On the flip side, we may not fully realize the blessings we would gain should the shame be lifted. Use this exercise to assess both.

Identify a specific area of shame in your life, one that bothers you most:

[Your Response Here]

Next, list the consequences you have faced because of the power of shame in this specific area of your life:

[Your Response Here]

Next, list possible or probable future consequences (for yourself and those you love) if you do not deal with this shame:

[Your Response Here]

Now, list good and beautiful things that could enter your life if this shame were removed and you were truly set free from bondage to it:

[Your Response Here]

Write down your thoughts about why you would hold on to your shame, or why you would face it and commit to deal with it:

[Your Response Here]

Pray to God with humble passion and ask for courage to face your shame, bring it to the foot of the cross, and let God heal you and transform your past and your future. Journal your prayer below:

[Your Response Here]

If this has been a helpful and clarifying process for you, use it to assess other areas of shame in your life.

There is no such thing as a drive-through breakthrough.

Declare It!

Take time to write a series of brief but passionate declarations about your shame and your desire to be free from its hold. Be clear, starting this moment, that you are going to war with shame. You will not wait until tomorrow, or even an hour—you are starting this second. Now!

First, write a declaration to God the Father, in the name of Jesus the only Son, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

God Almighty, in your powerful name I come and declare that I am ready to leave shame behind. This is my prayer . . .

[Your Response Here]

Next, write a declaration to yourself, stating your intention to go to war with shame, side-by-side with the great shame lifter, Jesus!

I make a commitment to myself, as a child of the living God, that I will no longer be a slave of shame. This is my commitment . . .

[Your Response Here]

Finally, write a declaration to your children or grandchildren (living or future), stating your commitment to battle shame and not pass on a legacy of shame-filled behavior and attitudes to those who come after you.

I commit to the family members who will come after me, I know the poison of shame and I will not pass on my patterns of shame to you. This is my commitment to you . . .

[Your Response Here]

The fact is that the decision you make today to move from shame-filled to shame-free living doesn’t only impact you; it impacts the generations that are to come after you.

Do I Ever Say “Tomorrow”?

Take time to humbly ask the Holy Spirit of God to search your heart. If you are still living with shame (and most of us are), then you can be confident there are ways you are saying, “Tomorrow!”

Choose a particular area of shame you struggle with and invite the Spirit of the living God, who loves you beyond description, to show you where and how you are holding on to it instead of dealing with it today.

Area of shame:

How I am holding on to it:

[Your Response Here]

Why I am holding on to it:

[Your Response Here]

What I need to do to begin dealing with this shame today:

[Your Response Here]

To become shame free, you first need to change your perspective. You need to choose to focus more on what Jesus has done for you, not what others have done to you.

Questions to Ponder

In this session, Christine asked some very provocative questions. Take time before your group meets next to think about each question. Then write down just a few sentences about how you would respond to each one.

How long will you stay stuck in what was?

[Your Response Here]

How long will you accept what is instead of what could be?

[Your Response Here]

How long will you allow the imagination of what might have been to rob you of the possibility of what could be?

[Your Response Here]

How long will you spend not living the life you have because you are lamenting the life you had?

[Your Response Here]

How long will you forsake your destiny because you are so fixated on your history?

[Your Response Here]

Every one of us must decide to let go of yesterday’s what-ifs.

Journal

Use the space provided below to write some reflections on any of the following topics:

• What are the dreams and hopes God might unleash in your life if shame is driven out and the power of Jesus is unleashed in you?
• As you look back over your life and family history, what are some of the reasons and excuses that people in your family tend to use to justify not dealing with shame? How does this keep you and other family members stuck, unable to move forward in faith and life?
• If you have a place of secret behavior that is harmful to you and the people around you, what is it and how can God set you free from this as you face and deal with your shame?

[Your Response Here]

Our history does not need to decide our destiny.

Recommended Reading

As you reflect on what God is teaching you through this session, read chapters 3–5 in Unashamed by Christine Caine if you haven’t already. In preparation for your next session, you might want to read chapters 6–8.