45

Sunday morning Emily rose early, after a restless night’s sleep, with a kink in her neck and a sore spine. She sat on the edge of her bed, kneading her neck with the knuckles of her left hand that no longer sported a diamond. When they’d returned from their downtown walk, Brandon had decided to go back to Chicago. Emily handed him the ring and told him to keep it in a safe place until she could figure some things out.

After a long, hot shower, Emily felt better. She curled up on the bed and tried to come up with a plan for the day. She wasn’t even sure where to begin now that her life had shifted overnight. Visit Dad? Call Dr. Claiborne? Extend her hotel stay? How long would she be here? She grabbed her phone twice to call Brandon. Each time, she set it back down. The third time, she grabbed it and dialed Nick. She suspected Nick’s talk with Vince Parelli had not yielded anything new, or he would have contacted her. But she wanted to hear it from him. Actually, to hear his voice. Nick’s phone went to voicemail.

Emily decided she couldn’t sit in that hotel room a minute longer. She threw on jeans and a sweater and jumped in her Leaf. On her way through Freeport, she picked up two hot cups of coffee and two hot cinnamon rolls from Brown’s. She was glad Delia wasn’t working because she didn’t want to explain to her who that second coffee and roll were for.

*   *   *

Nick’s truck was in the driveway, but when Emily rang the bell, he didn’t come to the door. She walked around to the back of Nick’s house and found him sitting on his back porch in an Adirondack chair facing the lake. He was unshaven and wore a baseball cap and a ratty pair of jeans. He looked as tired as she felt.

“It’s really beautiful out here. I can see why you bought the place.”

“Yeah.” Nick kept his gaze straight ahead.

“Coffee?” She handed him a cup.

“Much needed.” He took a long sip.

“I brought cinnamon rolls too.”

“Thanks. Have a seat.” He motioned to the chair next to him. “Where’s Brandon?”

She shook her head and brought the coffee to her lips. She could feel Nick eyeing her hand.

“No ring?”

“Nope.”

“You okay?”

“I will be.” She handed him a roll wrapped in a napkin. “Don’t wanna talk about it, though.”

“I get it.”

“You okay?”

“I will be. I sat outside Julie’s funeral service yesterday. Don’t wanna talk about it, though.”

“I get it.”

Emily looked out over the lake. Two swans surfaced from nearby and glided toward Nick’s dock. Emily drank it in. In her head, she was comparing this view to her own dwelling back in Chicago, which was nothing even close to peaceful. Her back porch was big enough to fit a café table and two small chairs and overlooked an alley and dumpsters. Her front lobby door opened right onto the city street and deposited her into the bustle of commuters, bikers, and transients.

“Did you get a chance to talk to Vince?”

“I did. He was at home working the farm during the time of the murder. From what his family says. And how can I discount the eyewitness testimony of a mother and seven children? However, I went to a couple neighbors to corroborate.”

“Sounds like a solid alibi.”

Nick nodded. “This is the biggest case I’ve ever had, Em. And I’m screwing it up. And I’ll probably lose my job.”

“No, you won’t. You’re doing the best you can with what you have to work with,” she said.

“My fear is that I’ll never catch the guy who did this. And I don’t know if I can live with myself if that happens.”

Emily thought about the cold case section in the back of her dad’s journal. “It may take some time, but I know you won’t give up.”

“I should have called in for more help from the state police,” he added sorely.

“What could they have done that you didn’t already do? Truth is, the physical evidence is paper-thin. No one claims to have heard or seen anything that morning. And you don’t have a murder weapon. There’s nothing in this investigation that you did wrong or missed.”

“Some of it is thanks to you. We make a good team.”

She glanced up and caught Nick staring at her with a longing look.

“I hardly recognize the girl I fell in love with back in high school.”

Emily paused. Fell in love with? He had never said those words in high school. It shook her to the core. A million feelings and questions that she wanted to discuss sprang into her mind, but instead she took another sip of coffee.

“Just tell me one thing, Em. You owe me one honest answer. Why did you leave like that?”

“You shouldn’t have thrown away my letter,” Emily teased, but it fell flat against his pleading eyes.

“In that letter, I told you that it was hard for me to talk to you—anyone actually—about my mom’s death. Everywhere around me, everyone was just going on with their lives. Jo, my Dad, you … but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to do because I just felt stuck. Paralyzed. I knew if I didn’t get out, then I might not … survive.”

“You were thinking of killing yourself?”

“No. Not that. But I felt so desperate. The only answer was to leave. And I didn’t want anyone talking me out of it.”

“Including me?” said Nick quietly.

Emily nodded. “Especially you.”

“I’ve tried to forgive your silence, Em. I’ve hated this emptiness between us. It’s driven me crazy all these years. I know we were young, but we had something. I wanted to …”

Emily felt him looking at her, but she couldn’t meet his gaze.

“You wanted to what?” she asked.

Nick turned away from her and stood up. He gripped the top of the guardrail that ran along the deck and faced the lake. The sun was spreading across the water, betokening a beautiful day.

“I wanted to be there for you. But I didn’t know how. I’m sorry.”

Nick stared straight at the lake, his back to Emily.

She scrambled to collect the new feelings swirling around her. Her homecoming had definitely not turned out as planned. She’d expected to swoop in quietly, under the radar. Take care of her father and return to Chicago untouched. Unnoticed. Unscathed. Instead, the experience had been a bombardment of people, feelings, places, and memories challenging her present and influencing her future. Her whole life had been up-ended.

“We could still be a team,” she said, surprised at her own answer.

Nick spun around. “What do you mean?”

Emily backpedaled. “The Dobson case. I’m … invested. I want to help you.”

“No, Em. Your part is over. I should have never asked you to do more than the autopsy. I just didn’t want you to leave. It was nice having you around again.”

“What? This isn’t about you. I did this for me. For Dad. And for Sarah.”

“You’ve done your duty. You’re free to go. The county has to move forward and hire a new ME. And I’ve gotta step up the investigation.”

“But my signature’s all over this case. I need to see this through. And there are people depending on me.”

“No, on me. You don’t live here. It’s not your job.”

Four days ago, his comment wouldn’t have hurt at all. But this morning it felt like a sucker punch to the gut. A frustrated lump formed in Emily’s throat. Her gazed pierce through him toward the lake.

“You understand what I’m saying about the investigation, right?” Nick looked to Emily for her response.

“Yes. Sure. I understand.” But she didn’t. Anger flashed through Emily. She wanted to kick and scream and pound him with her fists. This was completely unfair. Instead, she pulled herself together and eyed him coolly. He was only doing what was legal. She had taken it to a personal level. And she had to detach. At least until she could figure out another way.

“Since you’re kicking me off the case?”

“I’m freeing you to go back to your life in Chicago,” said Nick.

“Can you do me a favor before I go?”

“Depends.”

“Julie’s bracelet. Are you done with it?”

“Yeah. I guess so,” said Nick. “There’s nothing more we can do with it.”

“Will you release it from evidence?”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

She stood there facing him in an awkward silence, not wanting to go.

“So, I’m gonna take a walk now. Take care. See you.” Nick carved a path around her and headed off the porch toward the wooden staircase that led down to the sandy beach.

Emily watched him descend toward the lake and travel along the shoreline. He didn’t so much as glance back. In a few yards, he’d disappeared around a bend on the bank of the lake. Perhaps she had misinterpreted everything.

*   *   *

Emily drove to the Dobsons’ house, grateful to see that the senator’s truck wasn’t in the driveway. Mrs. Dobson let Emily wait in the foyer while she went upstairs to get Sarah.

Sarah came down to the foyer, dressed in yoga pants and a sweatshirt, with a flat expression. She gave Emily a weak hello. Her mother stood a few feet away to observe. Her cold stare made Emily uncomfortable. And must have made Sarah feel the same because she turned to her mom.

“Mom, can you … go?”

“Ms. Hartford, could you please state your business with my daughter?” asked Mrs. Dobson.

“I just wanted to give her a gift.” Emily tried to sound cheery and light.

“Mom. Please. Just go. It’s fine.” Sarah crossed her arms and shot her mom a nasty look that sent Mrs. Dobson from the room.

“How are you doing, Sarah?”

“Fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“They’ve grounded me. Indefinitely.”

“Oh … It’s probably just an overreaction.”

“It’s punishment. They say they don’t trust me anymore.” She let out a laugh. “They don’t trust me, but I’ve never done anything. Meanwhile, Julie was doing drugs and sneaking around with David behind their back.”

“It’s not fair. I’ll give you that. But my guess is that they’re just scared.”

“Of what?”

“They don’t want to lose another daughter.”

Sarah shrugged and let it sink in.

“So, why did you come here?”

“You trusted me to find something for you, and I did,” said Emily, handing Sarah a square cardboard jewelry box. “The police released this to me this morning.”

Sarah opened the box, and a small gasp slipped from her lips. She slid Julie’s charm bracelet into the palm of her hand.

“It’s no longer being considered a piece of evidence in your sister’s case.”

Tears moistened the corners of Sarah’s eyes.

“Where did you find it?”

“Doesn’t matter. Put it on. Let’s see.”

Sarah stretched out her arm so Emily could fasten the clasp. She was glad she had taken the time to bring it to the jewelers to get it cleaned after she picked it up from the police station. Sarah smiled and hugged Emily. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

Sarah released her from the hug, and Emily noticed a worried look cross her brow.

“Wait. Does this mean you can’t find Julie’s killer?”

“The police are still working hard on that. It’s in their very capable hands. So don’t worry, okay?” Emily handed Sarah a piece of paper with her phone number on it. “I’m going to be heading back to Chicago. But if you ever need anything, just reach out.”

Emily turned and faced the door to leave.

“Did you ever resolve that secret about your mom?”

Sarah’s question drew her back.

“No. Not yet.”

“Well, maybe someday.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” She mustered up her best reassuring smile for Sarah and then let herself out. When would the whys and maybes be over?