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THE CASTLE IS HUGE and well stocked with weapons. It should be easy to protect once we have an army in place. I watch Archer rooting through a trunk of swords. He’s like an excited kid and I still can’t believe he’s alive.
“Having fun?”
“There’s so much stuff here. Have you seen this armour?” He moves over to the armour, clunking a metal arm up and down.
“Do you think we’re up to the job?”
He pauses, probably wondering why I’m questioning myself. I’m usually so full of bravado.
“The Realm is a pretty big place to protect.”
“We can do it.” And his voice is resolute, strong. “Ceryn, I told you and Weaver about my dream, that I would serve a Queen. I know you thought I was mad, but I just knew. It’ll be great. We can do what we do in the villages on a larger scale. Serve and protect a Queen, serve and protect all of her subjects. How great will that be?”
I try to feel his enthusiasm but I’m worried. None of us have had proper training in how to fight, to be disciplined, to battle. Not properly. If there was a planned attack, a war, we would be useless.
“Come on, Ceryn. This isn’t like you. This is like Weaver, worrying like an old woman. You are braver and stronger than both of us. You’ve had to be. We’ll learn as we go, and get better, no doubt, but we can do it. Definitely.”
I shrug.
“Besides we need to. What hope would Everleigh have without us?”
“None.”
“Exactly. She needs us. And I need you and Weaver.”
“Really? Even though you’re in love?”
“I am. But I love you two, too. You’ve been my best friends for years. I couldn’t do it without you.”
“I suppose.”
“You don’t mind me...you don’t mind me being in love with Everleigh-”
I interrupt him with a clip around the ear. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
He grins and we set about making an inventory of the weapons store.
It’s a good sign that I can joke with him about it. It’s a good sign that I’m in his company without watching his every move, my mind wandering to places where good girl’s minds don’t wander. It’s good. I watched him in the great hall with Everleigh this morning and the sight of them together felt familiar rather than upsetting. It didn’t jar me. They go together. They belong. I can see it.
Instead of feeling jealous and upset when I see them together, I’m just glad that Archer is alive and I’m part of his life again.
I leave him happily rummaging, to get some ale from the kitchen, me and Cook are old friends now, and I run into Will in the courtyard.
“Alright?” I ask him as he passes.
He shrugs and I turn around to walk with him. “What’s up? Lost all your joy now you’re not a fool anymore?”
He laughs. “Maybe.”
“Seriously. I’m a good listener as well as a good fighter.”
“I’m just being stupid. Feeling guilty about Everleigh, missing Lanorie.”
“Will, don’t build Lanorie up to be something she wasn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did she know you were in love with her?”
“I don’t think so.”
“And did she love you?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Well then, you mustn’t build up this big love story in your head. And you mustn’t feel bad. Let her go. And Everleigh’s fine and dandy, so you can let your guilt go too. Everleigh loves you and you have a place in her court. Life’s good, my friend. And getting better.”
Funny how I was feeling like I needed to be reassured when I was talking to Archer but now I’m trying to console Will.
He launches himself at me, wraps me in a bear hug and squeezes me, causing me to shriek. He kisses my cheek and as his lips hit my skin, my eyes close – involuntarily – and I breathe in the smell of him. I open my eyes, feeling disorientated and he’s looking at me, a funny look on his face. We head off in opposite directions, but when I look back to watch him go, he’s looking at me.