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WE ARE ALL BACK TOGETHER and I should be happy but I’m not. Everleigh’s upset about Wolf. I know where she’s coming from. I’ve killed so many people I’ve lost count. It’s clear to me: if someone means me or my friends or a child or anyone less capable than they are, harm then I’ll happily get in the way. I’d rather just knock someone out, but if they fight back or keep getting up, I’ll kill them.
I still remember the fear I felt when three grown men attacked me; I was only a little girl and I cannot stand to see the helpless as victims. I’d rather get myself killed trying to help than look the other way.
Everleigh has never been in a situation like that or a position like this. She doesn’t like having the power over life and death. I think she’s mad. I’d love that power. Wolf – kill him, no question. Millard – kill him, no question. Any of Millard’s men – kill them.
I will never forget how sick I felt when I killed Brett and found out that he was innocent, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I showed mercy and it was misjudged.
Wolf has done nothing to prove he deserves to live. From what I’ve heard he was Everleigh’s other brother’s man first but then turned on him for Millard. He would kill without questioning it if Millard told him to, and I bet he has. Hundreds of times. And I bet he likes it.
If Everleigh shows him mercy, it’ll be a mistake. If she wants to be nice, then she can leave him to starve in the tower.
That’s one reason I’m feeling out of sorts. The other is Ginata.
I don’t know her very well. When we met, she had to tell me and Weaver that Archer was dead. I wanted to punch her, but she was actually sweet, she seemed to really care about us being upset. She seemed to want to help us. She seemed to want to help Everleigh. Now it’s like she’s all wrapped up in herself and her own troubles.
What troubles has she got? She’s safe from Millard now. She hasn’t got to pretend that she serves him anymore. She can be open about her loyalty to Everleigh. She’s got us for company. You think she’d be happy.
I’m missing something, I know. I just don’t know what.
But I’m watching her.
And if she’s hiding something I’ll see it.
Archer leaves Everleigh by the window and comes over to me. “I’m going to go to see Wolf. Give him something to eat.”
“Be careful. He’ll try something sly if you let him.”
“I know. I’m going to throw food in there. Not even talk to him, not give him a chance to try anything.”
“Good idea. Do you want me to help?”
Archer shakes his head, no.
“Fine. See you in a bit.”
I take his place by Everleigh’s side. “It’s good that you don’t want to kill him.” She doesn’t answer. “It means you’re a good person. A better person than your brother. That means you’ll be a better ruler than he was.”
She smiles at me. “I’m not sure I’ll be any good. But I know I have to try. For my father’s memory, for Halfreda.”
“You’ll be fine. Better than fine. You’ll be great.”
“And you’ll definitely stay?”
“Absolutely.”
We are quiet then, she’s looking out the window, I’m looking around the room. Is this my new home? My new family?
I hope so. I never thought I’d even like Everleigh. I wanted to hate her, but I just can’t. I love her. Her and Addyson are like the sisters I never had. I still can’t believe these people have seen me without my mask. I’m glad they have. If I helped Addyson even a tiny bit by showing her, then I’m glad.
Della is lovely and Finn’s alright. He’s a bit grumpy since we rescued Everleigh, since we realised Archer’s alive...oh, I wonder if he has a thing for Everleigh like I had a thing for Archer. I watch him for a second and he’s shooting some foul looks Archer’s way. His eyes soften when he looks at Everleigh. I might be right. Not that it matters either way.
Everleigh and Archer are falling for each other more and more. She looks to him for advice and reassurance. He wants to be near her, close to her, touching her. It’s kind of sweet to watch. I’m not jealous anymore. I’m really not. They look right together. I’m pretty proud of myself actually for being so grown up. So, I’m a bit jealous but not like I was. It’s not an angry gut churning jealousy now, more of a dull ache.
Will joins us by the window and I leave the two of them together. I’m not going to replace my affections for Archer by pushing them on to Will. Will is great but I’m not looking for love or any more awkwardness when I fall for someone who doesn’t fall for me, again. I’ve done that once.
I am living and learning today, I tell you!
There’s a knock at the door and Archer calls out. I let him in. Everleigh rushes over. “Are you alright? Did he try anything?”
“I’m fine. He’s alive. I know that much because he was shouting and swearing before I even got there. When he realised I was outside he shouted and swore more. I told him to move away from the door and I’d give him some food.”
“Did he listen?”
“No. He kept shouting and swearing and bashing the door. So I left it on the floor. The dogs will enjoy it.”
“Oh, Archer...”
“Everleigh, please don’t worry. If he was injured or starving, he wouldn’t have had the energy to argue. If I had opened the door to throw anything in, he would have got out. He’s furious. We’ll try him again tomorrow.”
“Are you sure?”
“He’s fine.”
I am chuckling at the thought of Wolf being so helpless and angry. He deserves it. “Can I go instead of Archer tomorrow? I’d love to hear him screaming. I’ll scream back at him!”
Everleigh laughs and it’s a lovely sound. Soon we are all laughing and the tension in the air lifts.
All of us except Ginata.