Hey Baby, did it hurt
when you fell from my expectations?
Aye Boo, you MUST be a library book
because I kept you longer than I should have
and now it’s costing me.
Hey Sugar, you know what this broom is for?
Cleaning up the pieces of my life after you left and took the dog.
Do you have a band-aid?
Cause I scraped my knee falling for your bullshit.
Hey Sweetheart, are your legs tired?
Cause you’ve been running from commitment your whole life.
I bet I could guess your sign …
It’s Dead End, isn’t it?
Could someone call the fire department?
Cause you are a dumpster fire.
Baby, if you were a sandwich at McDonald’s
you would be the McSpineless.
Hey Darlin’, if I could rearrange the alphabet I would
put F and U together.
Baby, you must be a magician
because abraca-FUCKYOU.
Was your daddy a sewer worker?
Cause you are full of shit.
Hey Sugar, where ya goin’?
I hate to see you leave but I love watching you walk into traffic.