HOW TO EAT YOUR FEELINGS: LONELINESS

You will need:

-Your prom dress (if it still fits) or some other formal wear

-1 OkCupid account

-1 jar of Trader Joe’s Cocoa Swirl Cookie Butter

Get dressed up like it’s prom night and your whole young glamourous life is still ahead of you. Eat the cookie butter. Straight from the jar.

Surf OkCupid. Weep hard and ugly

at the options laid before you.

Pass out in your formal wear,

your face mascara streaked

and chocolate smeared.

Feeds:

That Gaping Abyss in Your Heart because

ANOTHER one of your Facebook friends just got engaged and you will likely die alone with no one noticing your body for weeks or even months because you have become somewhat of a shut-in these last couple of years, how could you possibly expect to meet anyone this way?