I always look a little pregnant
but this is ridiculous.
One part titty-porn/One part maternity pants.
I have the libido and appetite of a college freshman—
Hormone-soup & sleepless.
I misread the word MEGA-DROUGHT as MEGA-DOUGHNUT.
I am a hotdog-eating vegetarian
and when I sex, the contractions go on for days.
I can feel my belly grow when I walk
into a home improvement store.
I am the silly result of blood flow—
When it flows to my nipples, I am nipples.
When it flows to my uterus
I am a poem.