A toast to the third arm

To the stranger who offers to hold a door for me—

No need, I walk backwards into doors to inspire

a third arm. 

  

To strangers who hand me napkins,

I guess I look like I could use a napkin. 

 

To the stranger yelling across restaurant tables— 

HOW’S THE BABY SLEEPING?

—She doesn’t—

I play her whale songs all night to aid her infant sleep.

 

I carry the feeling of being underwater

around with me

on a sunny July Morning.

 

To the two strangers who scold me—

where’s the baby’s sunhat!

—as I walk down my own street—

 

I am Johannes Kepler 

tracking the angle of sun

using the planet of my body

to shade her.

 

To the stranger who follows me down the street

as I hold an 18-pound car seat,

a 10-pound diaper bag

and an 8-pound baby—

 

        then heckles me

as I decline his help—

You women want to do everything yourself!

 

He comes closer— I decline his help again.  

He comes closer. I decline—

You women want to do everything yourself—

 

He is too close to the cab—

I accidentally hit my daughter’s tiny head into a cab door.

The baby is screaming.

I am holding her. I am tangled up

in an 18-pound car seat and 10-pound diaper bag—

 

He is almost in the cab—

I don’t have a hand to close the door—

He comes closer and I

FFFV

He is almost in the—and I—

FFFHUDHUDHUD

FFFFVVVFVDFVDFVDVUUDHDHDRVRHUH

That’s “get the fuck away from my baby”

in whale song.

And I slam the cab door. 

 

To the guy drinking on an East Village street-corner

chanting God bless the baby as I pass

Thanks, guy.

 

To my dear, neglected husband—

he would like to go on a date with me,

last night was kind of rough, luv—

 

To get this look: sleep deprivation and spit up in the hair.