Stretching out against Jax and yawning, I wrapped my arm and leg around him, nuzzling closer, not wanting to let go. Today was my last day in Fairlane, and I didn’t want to leave. But Jax had never mentioned seeing each other again, so I would suck it up, head back to LA, and try to forget about him.
I knew it was the only way my heart wouldn’t stay broken. I could already feel an aching hole starting to form. I had only known Jax for a few short days, but I was more heartbroken about leaving him than my band breaking up.
Sliding out of bed and slipping on my sweatshirt from yesterday, I made my way down to the kitchen to make some breakfast, only to find the refrigerator empty.
“What are you doing? I woke up, and you were gone.” Jax stood leaning against the doorway with a scowl. His hair was messily tousled from my hands the previous night, making him look sexy and downright irresistible. He had slipped on a pair of jeans and left them unbuttoned. His shirtless chest heaved. Had he thought I'd somehow left?
“Oh,” my hand came to my mouth with his sudden appearance, but I quickly placed it on the counter next to me. “I thought I’d make us some breakfast, but I forgot all the leftover food was outside in the cooler.”
Jax looked at me for a moment, as if trying to see if my statement was true. Maybe he thought I was regretting last night, and that’s why I had slipped out of bed. There was no way I would ever regret it. The only thing I’d regret would be my heartache when I was gone.
After watching me for a few moments, he pushed off the wall and started to walk toward the sliding glass doors. “I’ll go grab the cooler and put everything back in the fridge. Even with the food, I still have little to offer you for breakfast. Is cereal okay with you? I ran out of eggs the day before the ice storm and didn’t make it to the store before the weather got bad.”
He didn’t make eye contact as he spoke, walked to the door, and slipped on his boots. Maybe Jax regretted last night.
Biting my lip as I watched him, I answered with a lump in my throat. “Cereal’s fine with me. I’m not picky.” I wasn’t hungry anyway.
As Jax went out to get the food, I scanned the kitchen, seeing it for the first time now that the lights were on and the sun was shining. The counters were black marble with a black, white, and gray backsplash accentuated by black cabinets with silver hardware and stainless-steel appliances. I was shocked to see how modern and clean everything was. Surely Jax had to hire someone to come in to clean, because I’d never met a man alive who lived in a house this clean without help.
Jax cleared his throat, startling me. “What’s with the shocked look?”
Whipping my head around, I knew I had a nervous smile on my face, but I couldn’t hide it. “Your kitchen is amazing. Beautiful, really. I was just thinking that I didn’t know any men who kept their houses this clean. Someone must come in and clean for you.” I had a feeling I could probably walk through the house, swipe my finger over any surface, and not come up with a speck of dust.
Jax shrugged his shoulders as he stepped passed me and to the fridge. “My mom engrained in me to keep a clean house. It stuck. It’s not a bad thing, is it?”
“Bad? No, it's amazing. You’re amazing.”
Peeking his head out from the door, he gave me a shy smile before ducking back inside. “I’m glad you think so.”
With us both sitting at the table silently eating cereal, I peeked up after each bite to get a better look at Jax. He hadn’t looked at me once. Instead, he somberly stared down into his soggy cereal. I wanted to say something, anything, but I had no idea what to say. It was, perhaps, one of the most awkward moments in my life. I wanted to know what he was thinking, and I was quickly running out of time.
You would think that being the lead singer for a very popular rock band, I would be used to one-night stands, and even though I’d had my fair share, I’d never gotten accustomed to the awful, used feeling that inevitably came the next day. Men had sex with me and used me, so they could say they’d had sex with the singer from Shadowed Alley, and when I needed that itch scratched, I let them.
There came a time a few years ago when I couldn't look myself in the mirror and decided I would only have sex with someone if I was in a relationship with them. It wasn’t the best plan. Being in a relationship was hard enough, let alone when I was either in the studio or on the road most of the time, but I had managed one for a short period of time. Hence, why I hadn't had sex in so long.
Jax stood with his bowl, taking it to the sink. “I can take care of the dishes if you want to take a shower before we have to go. We should leave a little earlier, so that we can swing by your rental and grab your suitcase and anything else you left in the car. I’ll call the rental company tomorrow so they can send someone out to tow it. I hope you got rental insurance.”
He wasn’t going to say a word about last night.
Feeling the sting of tears, I pulled myself together and gave my bowl to Jax before I hustled my way into the bathroom to take a quick shower. As the hot water rained down, I let my tears flow, and once that dam was broken, I retched out a body-shaking sob. There was no telling how long I stood there crying and shaking. It didn’t matter how hot the water was turned up, I couldn’t warm up or stop my body from trembling. I only got out once my tears dried up. Looking in the mirror, there was no way to hide that I had been crying, but I wasn’t going to let myself be ashamed of opening up and letting Jax in. He was the one who had clammed up this morning. He was the one who had made the best night of my life a one-night stand.
Pulling over to the curb at the airport, Jax glanced at me only to turn to look out the windshield. “I guess this is it.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for everything. I appreciate you taking me in.” I bit my lip to keep from saying anything else. I was not going to open myself up to him after he had made it perfectly clear that he regretted being with me last night.
Clearing his throat and turning in his seat, Jax finally looked at me for the first time today. His eyes raked over my jean-covered legs, darkening as they swept over my sweater-clad breasts, and softened as he took in my face. “Fuck,” he shook his head sadly, reaching over and taking my hand. “I wish we had more time together. I like how you make me feel about myself. I’ve felt like a monster for so long.”
“Jax,” I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid over to cup his scarred cheek. “You’re the furthest thing from a monster; if anything, you’re an angel.”
He closed his eyes and soaked in my words and touch, gracing me with a smile. When he opened his eyes, a spark had been lit. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but whatever it was, I liked it.
“Gabi, what if my mom was right? What if you’re my destiny?” he asked hoarsely, his eyes bright with hope.
“Are you going to let your destiny climb out of your truck and board that plane, never to see her again?”
No words left his lips. Instead, Jax lunged across to my side of the truck, taking my mouth in a deep searing kiss. It was desperate, frantic, and hot. It was life.
I couldn’t hold back now.
“I don’t want to go,” I sniffed as I pulled away. My hand wiped away the moisture that was dangerously close to slipping from my eye. I pressed my lips together as I looked up at him.
How had this man become my world in such a short amount of time?
“I don’t want you to go either.” Jax’s eyes glistened in the bright sunshine, emotion brimming. “You could stay.”
I could stay, but what would I do? I’d lived my entire life in LA. I didn’t know if I could stand living in a small town like Fairlane or tolerate the weather. I liked my sunny skies and warm weather year-round.
Could I give up everything California had to offer for Jax?