I kept discovering new things that I loved about this woman.
Her bravery, I already loved. How could I not? I knew what she was giving me when she laid down underneath me and spread herself wide.
That was a big thing. A huge thing. An epic, world-shattering, universe-ending reason for loving her.
But sometimes the little things were just as world-shattering.
Like finding out just how much she loved Christmas.
I squeezed her hand as we strolled down Main Street towards the town square. As we moved along with the crowd, I felt myself walking straighter with Aria on my arm, my chest puffed out just a little bit. Instead of wanting to hide away from the eyes around me, I found myself squaring my shoulders and returning the smiles of greeting that were directed our way.
The square was already crowded with throngs of happy people milling about as they waited for it to get dark enough to light the tree. “Here looks like a good spot,” I told Aria, helping her climb up onto one of the brick planters that lined the square. “Can you see?”
“I can see everything!” she squealed, turning in a full circle. Her eyes were shining so bright they could be mistaken for Christmas lights.
“Hey.” When she turned to me I wasn’t sure what it was I wanted to say. Maybe start off with some speech about how she’d changed me, how I’d never felt happier or more complete.
“What’s up?” she asked.
As I looked at her, one of the dancing snowflakes alighted on her face - a perfect pointed crystal - before the heat of her cheeks burnt it away to a droplet that rolled like a tear down her face. Whatever I was about to say fled my brain and I was left speechless.
She turned to look across the square, eyes shining. "Wow," was all she said.
I looked in the same direction. Our town’s Christmas tree came from Gary Abbott’s farm, a thirty-foot tall spruce they dragged in using Mr. Melton’s skid steer. I couldn’t imagine what a giant pain in the ass it was to get that thing down here, much less string it up with all those lights, but looking at it through her eyes all I could see was the wonder of it all. Each light that danced in her eyes reflected back at me even more brightly than they shone on the tree.
“You’re beautiful.”
She sort of froze in place, looking at me sidelong, like she wasn't sure if she'd heard me right. I wasn't sure if she'd heard me right either, the words had sort of just slipped out without a meaning to say them. It was like they bubbled up out of me, overflowing, unable to be contained any longer. "You're beautiful," I repeated. “And I love you. You take my breath away."
My frozen lips met her frozen cheek and she turned to kiss me full on the mouth there on top of the planter, in front of everybody.
But everyone was looking at the tree, so it was our own private moment there above everything. I kissed her harder, and now each flake that landed on our skin almost sizzled. “Should we head back?” I murmured into her mouth.
“Ummm,” she moaned, squirming against me. “I want to…but the tree!”
“I’ll get you your own Christmas tree. I’ll go out in the woods and chop it down myself, I swear to God, just come home with me right now before I tear your clothes off in public.” I pressed my lips to that pulse on her neck and found it was beating as rapidly as my own heart.
“You make a convincing argument,” she moaned, twining her fingers in mine. “But you promised me.”
I grumbled. “Re-entering the world blows.”
“Hush.”
“And it’s cold.”
“Hush!” She pressed a finger to my lips and laughed. “If you’re cold go get us some hot chocolate.” She turned my face with her hand until I spotted the little cart set up at the corner of the square. “I’m not going to miss when they turn the lights on.” Her eyes went soft. “I’ve been waiting to see this my whole life.”
I heaved a long sigh. “You know I’m powerless to deny you anything.”
She laughed again. “I want mini-marshmallows in mine!”
I left her, only mock-grumbling this time, and made my way through the crowd to the cart. The line was five people deep, so I took my place and tried not to sigh too loudly when the woman at the front started asking what flavors the hot chocolate came in. “Chocolate and chocolate,” I muttered. Glancing across the square, I caught sight of Aria, still up on the planter. Her shorn hair was tucked up under a green hat that Kenzie crocheted for her, but there was no mistaking her face. She stood out in a sea of humanity as the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.
I turned back to the cart. Four people deep. Three people deep. I looked back over my shoulder again.
Aria wasn’t on the planter again.
That old panic tried to grip me, but I pushed it down. “Two hot chocolates, mini-marshmallows in both?” I asked the vendor, remembering to add, “please?” at the end. I turned, expecting Aria to be working her way through the crowd, impatient for her treat. I wanted her to be proud of me for how well I was handling all this.
She was nowhere to be seen.
I swallowed hard and fished my wallet out from my back pocket. Handing over the necessary two dollars, I grabbed the Styrofoam cups and tried not to sprint back to Aria.
There was a shout from the crowd, protests of “Hey!” I quickened my step. “Aria?” I called.
This wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right and it wasn’t paranoia that had me shoving my way through the crowd. “‘Scuse me! ‘Scuse me! Move! Aria?”
Another shout, this time from behind me. I whirled around and caught a blessed glimpse of her green hat. My thudding heart slowed.
And then quickened again as she staggered backwards. “Aria!” I roared and dropped the cups to the ground.
But the crowd closed around her and she disappeared from sight. Only her voice reached me.
“No!” she shouted. “Let go of me! I said let go, Killian!”
And I saw red.