Sheep floating out on their tethers, the milk cows too. Ears flapping and skin and wool fur rippling as our rock sunk endless through the void. It was the day the boys of the rock would choose and so everyone had gathered to see what each would do. All the boys of leaving age lined up on the edge with the teacher there beside them. In front of everyone he had ever known, my brother Kyle was about to decide: rise or sink.
From the back of the crowd, I watched, my mother there with me and on my other side, my father standing stoic as he always liked to be. “Such a shame,” my mother said, “that little Frederick will never have the chance.”
My father grunted his grim consent about my little brother Fredrick, back at the house and too sick to come and see his older brother leave the rock. Frederick didn’t have much time left; he would be dead long before he reached the age when boys decide. And me? I would never reach it. Because only boys are made to sink or rise. Only boys leave the rock.
My father’s eyes thinned. Which meant he was seeing something no one else was seeing. A moment later, a boy on the stage broke down. “Sad,” my father said. And off he ran, this boy, down off the stage and into his mother’s arms. Through the crowd they scuttled, avoiding eyes, back to their house on the other side of the rock.
When we looked back, the other boys were getting ready. None of them wanted to become the next to lose his nerve. And then, off they went, all of the boys deciding simultaneously to rise. Kyle too, my brother. A cheer came up from the crowd, watching the boys get smaller, waving as they went, off for other lives on other rocks somewhere above.
I think I was the first to see it. It happened right then. Amidst the boys getting smaller, a new speck appeared. And this speck was getting larger. I could see it had arms and legs, a head—it was a sinker. The first sinker to come to our rock in as long as I could remember.
A circle spread in the crowd. The sinker landed perfectly in the center, stood a moment with the people reflected in the visor of his helmet. He had a sword strapped to his back, tucked tightly beside a small backpack. And then the helmet came off and the sinker was a woman. Had been since that moment when I was the first to see her. Through them all she came, right up to my parents and said, “You have beds on this pueblo, I heard.”
And before they could answer, she looked more directly at my mother than I had ever seen a person do. “I have a letter from your brother.”
The sinker had laid herself out straight on top of my bed to sleep. Her body was like an insect’s, condensed and hollow-seeming. On the floor sat her sword and tightly-wrapped pack and on top, her helmet. And though I knew it was wrong to touch people’s things, I picked the helmet up and turned it over and pressed my finger against the sharp point at the front.
“Please put that down.” The sinker’s eyes were the only bright specks in the room, watching until the helmet was back on her pack. “Thank you.” She rolled over and I could see the lines of muscle crackling. There was nothing extra about her. She was exactly what was needed for her purpose and nothing more.
“Have you come to help my brother?”
There was a long silence. I wondered if maybe she had gone back to sleep. “What’s wrong with him?”
“He got cut by the meat knife and it’s got his leg. Mother says it will be his hip and then his heart next.”
The sinker got up. “Where is he?”
I led her into the room my brothers used to share. But now it was just Fredrick, sweating and dying slowly in his bed. The sinker reached out her hand, but I saved her, grabbed her wrist and held it back. “You mustn’t touch him.” Inside her forearm, I could feel each tendon, each wound muscle.
“It’s ok,” she said. And she moved my brother’s hairs so they were all together on one side of his face. When she took the blanket down, it revealed how black his leg had become. It wasn’t to the hip yet, but it would be soon. “Infection,” the sinker said.
“At least he didn’t decide to sink, that boy. Because staying right where you are, well, that’s better at least than sinking.” My mother was talking abut the boy who ran from the stage that morning. It happened every deciding day to at least one, but every time it happened people acted like it was the first and the last. My mother paused her chopping and looked up, as if seeing through the roof, to the spot where Kyle had vanished into nothing. “My boy,” she said, “a riser.”
My father was sitting opposite me at the kitchen table. He looked asleep except for his eyes. I suppose I had not thought until then, that Kyle rising would have the effect of him no longer being there.
“Your father was a riser.”
“I wanted to be a sinker, though, when I was little.”
“Don’t tell her things like that.”
He shrugged. “What’s it matter? Didn’t do it. Rose instead and here I am.”
“What was your first rock like, Daddy?”
“Not like this one,” my mother said. “That’s why men rise instead of sink.” She went back to cutting things up. “Through generations of male linage, the family eventually reaches Center City.”
“But what if Center City is down?”
My mother laughed. “If you want to get somewhere, you have to rise. Put out some resistance and all these rocks sink right past. You get somewhere. It takes five days of sinking to get where you can in one of rising. By rising, you move further, faster. You show you’re more adventurous.”
“What about her?” I asked. “Her, the sinker?”
My mother shook her head. “I don’t know why we must let her sleep here.”
My father sighed. “That’s the law, hon. A sinker brings a letter, the sinker gets to sleep the night.”
“I know it’s the law, told down from those people up at Center City who don’t know what it’s like down here for us real people.”
I wasn’t sure if my mother understood what she’d just said, how it related to other things she was always saying. I was about to ask when I heard a voice. “Listen to your mother,” it said. And the sinker cut into the room without disturbing even the stillness of the air. “Thank you for the bed. Here is your mail.” She put a single letter on the table.
My mother opened it and began to read. Her younger brother had left the rock the year he came of age. He had chosen to rise.
The sinker was seated now at the table’s other chair. The way she did things was she didn’t really do them, they just changed, like it had happened in the past. My mother continued reading. My father watched her. “Where has he settled?” Mother finally asked. “From how far up did this letter come down with you?”
“A pueblo a day’s rise from here.”
“One day’s rise?” The letter hung there in her hand all finished.
“Have you been to Center City?” I asked.
The sinker looked at me and shook her head. It made me think she wasn’t saying everything when she said, “No.”
“But it’s up there, right?”
My mother turned from the counter to both see and hear the answer. My father too, left his head sunk, but lifted his eyes to gaze at the sinker.
“That’s what people say, isn’t it?”
“But you haven’t been there?”
The Sinker looked at me again.
“Of course it’s there,” my mother said. “We pay our tribute to risers headed there. We obey the laws passed down by magistrates. Who could pay those magistrates, where would the things go? Where do the laws come down from? If there’s no Center City?”
My father put his hand on my head. “Don’t worry, sweetie, Center City is real.”
The boys of the rock were gathered in the meeting house for their weekly lesson about the future of their lives and the need to begin to prepare now no matter how far away the big day seemed. It was there that the boys all learned how to become the kind of risers our rock was surely known for. The man in charge of their lessons was called the teacher.
Standing atop an empty barrel, peering through the room’s back window, I could see the teacher at the front of the rowed desks. “Though you will not reach Center City yourself, by your rising, perhaps some day your sons or the sons of your sons . . . ” Behind him was the drawing which every boy was made to learn and draw from memory—a pyramid pattern of rocks like ours with Center City up at the top and biggest of all.
One of the other girls was tapping the back of my calf so I climbed down because it was the next girl’s turn to stand on the barrel and look in. “Hey,” one of them said to me, “It’s the sinker that stays in your parents’ house.” And there she was, the sinker, standing way over at the very edge of the rock.
“My parents said not to go near the sinker and that it would be better if she wasn’t here at all or never came.”
“My parents said the laws say your parents only have to let the sinker stay for—” But I was leaving those girls behind. I crossed the rock to stand beside the sinker. The milk cow was out there on its tether. It looked over at us from way past the edge. The wind made strange temporary shapes of its udder. The sinker was leaning over the edge, letting the rushing wind hold her place. Her gaze aimed deep into the darkness, her hair pointing back up at distant rocks above, back at all the other lives she must have crossed. And soon, off she’d sink, off to where ever it was she was headed, somewhere far below.
“How many rocks have you been to?” I asked.
A single tear got sucked up and vanished from her face. “Lots,” she said.
I moved right to the edge, got down on my stomach with my head poking over. “My brother left yesterday. He chose to rise. And I’ll stay here, until a riser comes up to marry me.”
The sinker sat down beside me, let her feet dangle.
I had to speak loudly with the wind howling past us. “One girl was made to leave this rock. It was before I was born, but everybody knows about it. She had betrayed her family. Did you betray your family?”
The sinker was looking out straight and I had never considered until that moment that in addition to other rocks below and above ours, there could be ones out to the side, out to all the sides. Other rocks with other families on them, in every possible direction.
“On other pueblos,” the sinker said, “ . . . other rocks, things are different.”
“How do you mean different?”
“There are lots of other pueblos out there. Rocks. Some people call them islands, towns. Every place calls them different. On other rocks, people don’t die of infection.”
“They don’t?”
“On some they do, but not on all.”
I wondered then, why none of the boys who left had ever sunk back down, back down to their home rock. “My brother will die of infection,” I said. “My uncle did and my father’s best friend.”
“I will take you as far as Roseblood,” the sinker said. “But not back.”
“What do you mean?”
“Roseblood. The next pueblo down.”
I woke to complete darkness. The wind that roared around me had been in my dreams too. It was the sound of the edge of my rock, but endless now. There was no quiet to step back into. We had left solid land behind and were off on the sink. Little lights clipped to our belts were turned off. In all directions, I could see nothing. Everything was gone. Everything but the wind and the black void.
I felt the sinker’s hand on me and could then make out the rough shape of her. She was peering through some sort of device, off at something far below us. Her shout reached me through the roaring howl, “Risers!” And then I could see them, two glinting specks coming towards us.
The sinker unhooked the tether which kept us from drifting apart. “Give me some space.” I didn’t know what she meant and so she shouted, “Spread your arms and legs! Rise a little!” The specks had grown into people, coming up fast. Two men it looked like, each with a small light on the front of his helmet. The sinker straightened her body and went diving toward them.
As the three forms converged, there was a flash in the dim light of the risers’ headlamps. Then the risers were still, rising limply toward me. As they passed, I saw one’s face, frozen in a contorted grimace. Little droplets of blood hung around them in strange shifting patterns. Up they went, just dead bodies now.
The sinker floated back to me as I sank down to her. She was wiping and sheathing her sword. “They find you sleeping and you never wake up. Take everything you have to trade at whatever pueblo they land on next.” She reclipped our tether.
“Sorry,” I shouted back.
The sinker smiled. “We all fall asleep, kid. You have to.”
“Where is it?”
The sinker went into her pack, pulled out a roll of paper. She spread a stretch of it between her hands.
“What’s that?” I shouted.
“A map.”
“A map?”
“We’d be lost out here without it.”
We passed a skeleton, or the skeleton passed us. The sinker told me it was a riser, or another sinker maybe. When I asked her what happened to all his stuff, to his skin and all the rest, she told me people took it. I asked her if it was before or after he died and she said it looked like after. She said he left some pueblo and never found the next one. Ages ago. Floated around out there until he starved to death. “Happens,” she shouted, “Happens all the time.”
At first, it was just a dim, glowing ball in the distance. I was struck with dread, remembering fires I’d seen burn down whole houses on the rock back home. But as we got closer, the lights began to separate and I could understand what it was I was seeing. It was not a fire, but a hundred—a thousand maybe—separate fires. They burned along the edges of a high wall. On one side, there was a thin patch of ground, but on the other, there was a city like I’d only heard about until then. Houses were all clumped together and stacked on top of one another. There were larger buildings too, bigger than all the houses on my rock put together. Wide paths cut between them, people riding animals like the milk cows but thinner. And there were lights too, dotted throughout, as far as I could see.
“Roseblood,” the sinker shouted.
We were close enough now to see a ring of huts and tents gathered in clumps outside the high wall. In both directions, the wall climbed up along the rock’s edge until it vanished into the distance. From the top, three bright plumes were headed toward us.
“Centurions,” the sinker shouted. “Just do as they say.”
Three Centurions were suddenly floating around us, backpacks strapped on that shot fire and in each hand some sort of control. All three had swords like the sinker’s, in sheaths along their sides. “Do not enter the city,” one shouted. “Stay only on the trader’s side of the wall.”
The sinker nodded and the centurions were gone, hurtling back to the top of the wall to continue their watch.
We landed on the very edge of the rock. From there, the wall was just a wall, no way to know that something so endless was on the other side. Along its top, centurions marched back and forth, glancing down. On the ground, I could see now that the lights were not fires, but little glass balls with small fires inside, all connected by strings that ran back to the top of the wall. The lights made a web which hung over all the people scattered on the trader’s side, sitting at fires or clumped in the front flaps of tents, none reacting as we walked through.
After more than a day of the constant friction of sinking, walking on flat rock again felt somehow incomplete. It was a half sensation. I was relieved to reach Roseblood, but part of me wanted to leave again. To dive off the edge and head down. Back to the great sink.
We made our way to a cluster of open-faced tents. The sinker traded a few small things for food which we took to a fire. Around the fire, others were cooking similar food, meat in links on sticks and cups of boiling juices.
I asked the Sinker, “Where are our beds?”
A grimy looking man showed me where all his teeth had been broken out. “Got beds on your rock, huh?”
“Don’t you?”
He laughed. “I’ll have to stop there on my way by.”
The sinker revealed just enough sword to reflect a golden rectangle of fire light onto the skin between his eyes. “You stop there and you stop forever.” She glanced at the others, each separately. “Goes for all of you.”
“You rising or sinking?” an old man asked me.
I could tell the sinker had no intention and so I answered for myself. “Sinking, I guess, for now anyway.”
A younger man, not much older than me, a boy I guess, leaned over. “Better decide one way or the other. Lest you don’t plan on getting anywhere your whole life. Sink or rise. Me, I’ve been sinking since I came to. First chance I got.”
“Are you sinking too?” I asked the old man.
He nodded, once for me and then once at the boy. “Since just about this one’s age.”
I asked him, “Where are you going?”
Everyone at the fire laughed at this, but the old man’s smile was kind and genuine. “Just down,” he said.
“Did you come from Center City?”
His eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything.
The boy was talking again. “Never heard of no Central City. Maybe you mean the Big Ghost.”
“Old scavenger legend.” It was a thin man across the fire. He was glancing around under the brim of a furry helmet. “Legend they would tell families on small cities and these people used to give over their stuff out of fear at just the mention. The mention of Center City. They let you sleep in their daughter’s beds too.” He laughed.
“Why you want to go to a place like Center City for?” the old man asked.
“So it is real?”
“Oh yes. It’s real.”
All through this, the sinker said nothing, just looked into the fire as she ate. Across, the skinny man was laughing. “And I suppose there’s an end too?” He pointed into the air above Roseblood, then down. Then he smiled his with huge broken face. “A place where all the cities land, all piled up, one on top of another, broken to bits. And everything on them.”
“The Great Flat,” someone whispered.
“What?” I asked. “What’s The Great Flat?”
The old man was pulling over an odd shaped case which he opened and inside was a thing shaped like the case. “Never mind about The Great Flat,” he said. “Or Center City.” He put the thing in his lap and with his fingers, he plucked strings along its front and singing came out of a hole as if it was a mouth. And the old man started singing too.
“Don’t you know anything but scavenger ballads old man?”
He looked at the kid. “This ain’t no scavenger ballad, son. This is a song from Before.” That quieted them. He waited a moment and then went on, “And you’d best listen and remember it.”
“Great,” the kid said. “Just what I need.”
But I did listen, to every word. Tried as best I could to remember them exactly. When the old man finished, he plucked each string once more and the song was over.
The kid was the first to talk. “Where did you steal that old thing?”
The old man was putting it back in its case. “Was passed down,” he said, and I wasn’t sure if he meant the song or the case and what was in it.
“Nothing wasn’t stolen at some point.” And now the kid took a small wooden man out of his pocket and showed it to me. “What you want to give me for this?” But it was not wood, when I held it, it was light and cold to the touch.
“I don’t have anything,” I said.
He took it back. “Well, take what you can find. Cuz someday, you’re not going to be wanting something, but needing it. And you better have a few things to trade.”
I looked to the old man, but he didn’t seem like he was about to disagree.
“So you steal too?”
His head tilted to one side. “You steal a little, have to, scavenge a bit. It’s how I’ve got so far. But it’s the sink that’s important, not things. Things are just a means to keep sinking.”
The kid chuckled. “All these years, old man, and you and I, we’re in the same place.”
“It’s not where you are, son, but how far you’ve sunk from where you started.”
Into the air above us, three centurions rose from the top of the wall and skirted low above the web of lights. Each left a tube of dark smoke, milky and opaque against the pure black above. They congregated in the air where the rock edge ended, there to meet a riser coming up, just as they had come out to meet us as we approached. There was a shout. All eyes looked up as a bright plume of sparks flowered out. One of the centurions had killed the riser and off he went, rising now in no direction.
The kid was getting up.
“Let it be,” the old man said.
The kid smiled, “Must be something on that riser worth checking for.” A few seconds later, I could see him, rising expertly. I’d never seen anyone rise so fast. But before he could reach the limp body, a single centurion swooped by, sword out and sliced the boy clean in half. Simple as that.
“Come on, time for us to retire.” The sinker reached into the fire and took out a small log burning at one end.
“Take care of this little one,” the old man told her.
“Why did they do it?” I asked.
The old man looked up at the bodies, two in three pieces. “No scavenging allowed in sight of Roseblood.”
“I have to go for a little while and you can’t come with me.”
I watched the sinker strap on her belt and sword. Our little fire was a single smoldering log. She also had a small knife, which she slid into her boot.
“Where do you have to go?”
She looked over at the wall and I looked too. “Inside,” she said.
“What will I do?”
“Stay here and wait.”
“By myself?”
“Here,” and she pulled an object from her bag like I had never seen before and have never seen another since. “You sit here and if someone comes near you, you show them this.”
“But how’s it used?”
“You won’t need to use it. You just show them, that’s all. For now, though, keep it out of sight.”
I took it from her and put it under the flap of my jacket. She stood up, between me and the high wall. Just then a centurion was rising up toward a speck coming down. I thought of the sinker, chopped in half like the boy from the fire. But it didn’t seem possible.
“Just remember what I told you.” And off she went, weaving between the fires and tents until I could no longer see her.
When the sinker returned, she had with her a little jar which she held up and said, “You put this on your brother’s wound. And then you put this,” and she held up another jar, rattling what was inside, “into his food. One per meal until they’re all gone. Did anyone bother you?”
I shook my head. “When do we go back?”
Now the sinker looked right at me. “Not we.”
And I knew then that I would have to find my own way back to my rock. “These will cure my brother?”
She sat down on the ground beside me.
“You had to steal them?”
“No, but I stole some of the things I traded for them.”
“All of the things back home, the things we trade for from the risers going past. It was all stolen, huh? Stuff they’d killed people and took. Or landed on a small rock and just took it all.”
The sinker was digging in her bag. “Probably not all.”
“You were a riser once.”
“Yep.” She went still a moment, then back to digging. “Rose further than anyone I’ve ever met. Left when I was younger than you.”
“But why?”
“Same reason your brother chose to. Same reason people choose whatever it is they choose.” She shrugged. The map was out now and she was comparing it to another piece of paper.
“But then you realized it was wrong?”
She didn’t answer me so I asked her, “Do you kill people, to take their things?”
“Did we take anything from the risers who tried to kill us?” She was looking from one page to the next, marking up the clean sheet with a pen.
“I thought it was because they wouldn’t let us land on Roseblood if you’d had all three swords.”
The sinker glanced up at me. “Good, kid,” she said. Then she was back at the maps. Back to whatever it was she was doing.
“What then?” I asked her. “What happened?”
“One day I realized I forgot to do something. Spent every day since trying to get back. Just hope there’s time.”
Maybe I felt a kiss on my forehead. Or maybe I dreamed that part. In my dream, it was my mother kissing my forehead, but in the dream, my mother was the sinker and my real mother was a lady I had never known or even met.
This was the end of my dream. In the beginning, I was sinking, but not toward something. More like I was floating, like one of the milk cows out on its tether. Below me was water, more water than I had ever imagined there could be, water bigger than Roseblood or anything else, as endless as the void around my little rock back home. It was moving under me as I floated there. And just when it seemed like it would never end, the edge of a rock appeared in the distance, coming toward me. Except this rock wasn’t floating in space. It was in the water; the water actually surrounded the rock. In my dream, the rock was getting closer and closer and as it swept under me, I felt the kiss and I opened my eyes and the sinker was tossing dirt on the last embers of the fire.
“I don’t have to go back,” I said.
She looked at me. “If you want to save your brother, you do.”
“But if I never see him again, what does it matter either way?”
The sinker didn’t answer. She had got down on her knees and was readying her pack.
“Can I come with you?”
She looked right in my eyes and shook her head. “Too far to go. You’ll slow me down too much.”
“I understand.”
“Good.” She handed me a rolled up paper.
“What is it?”
“A map. When you get a chance, make a copy. You always have a copy, packed separate from the other.”
“But now you’ll only have one.”
“That’s a copy I made for you.”
She unrolled the map so a small section lay spread between my hands. “We’re here. And here’s your pueblo. A quarter day’s rise.” She pointed at a place in the darkness above Roseblood. “A straight shot. Don’t second guess and you’ll be fine.”
“If I go back.”
“That’s up to you.” She picked up her pack and strapped it on beside her sword. She looked back at me once more, walked to the very edge and then she was gone.
The old rock felt haunted, by some sort of never ending. Children ran by the window in loops, my brother there with them. He was oblivious to how close he had come to being not a boy at all, but nothing. Ashes held out over the edge and let go. Our father was a riser. Rose up to the rock we live on now. His father and his father before. “The family has risen far, my son.” And they would gaze upward, toward the distant rocks above.
Again, my brother would have a chance to decide. Thanks to the sinker. And to me for coming back. His leg looked bruised, but the black was gone, the swelling. The puss and the fever were gone too and no one on the rock could believe it. They’d been coming to the house since I got back, asking where the medicine had come from. There was talk of training sinkers, sending them off for more.
My mother had treated my brother’s recovery as some sort of dark trick. As she watched him climb out of bed, her face revealed this possibility to me: maybe she would have preferred him to die than be saved through something she didn’t understand. Me, I hadn’t left my room the entire time, all through his healing. I sat alone, at work on a copy of the map. You must have two copies, packed separate from each other.
When my father came to see me, I was seated on the floor with the new map unrolled all the way, the last parts drying so it could be permanent. As I worked, I hummed the old man’s song. The song from Before. At least I was humming how I remembered it, hoping it was right.
“What’s this here?” he asked me. He was standing over the object the sinker told me I would never have to use.
“Don’t look at it,” I told him.
“But I already did.”
I got up and covered it completely.
“That sinker gave you that, didn’t she?”
“It’s for protection.”
“How so?” but he had wandered away, didn’t really want an answer, I suppose. Then he was stopped again, looking down at the map.
“It’s finished,” I told him.
He looked at my pack, at the map again, and finally at me. “When are you leaving?”
The original map was already rolled into a tight cylinder. I took it from the table and slid it into my pack. “Tomorrow,” I said.
My father seemed to say the word over again a few times in his head. “I think it’s best you don’t tell you mother.”
The pack was tight and small. I was proud of how compact it looked, how light and simple.
My father was digging in his pockets. “You’ll need at least a few things to trade.”
The entire rock behind me was lost in the roar of the edge. Only one or two people were up and about. The animals were asleep, out at the ends of their tethers, their fur revealing the natural currents of the sink.
I had said goodbye to my father, there in my room, with the map drying. My mother would wake in a few hours and find her daughter gone.
I stood on the same spot Kyle had left from to rise, the spot from which all boys leave the rock. I did not look back, only out, directly parallel from the surface of the rock. And then I leaned forward. I could feel the weight of what I had packed. The truth is, I had not decided, not until that very moment.