‘Miss Constance hardly touched her dinner again,’ Mary said on a Saturday at the end of November as she carried dishes from the dumbwaiter to the sink.
Ethel was sitting in a fireside chair, her feet up, and feeling guilty that she was leaving all the work to Mary. Yet there was no way she could help the girl – if she stood up, she doubted her throbbing and swollen feet would support her.
‘Madam didn’t eat much either,’ Mary continued. ‘Not that she ever does. She lives mostly on gin.’
‘Mary, that’s disrespectful and I don’t want to hear you talking about the mistress like that again.’
‘Sorry, Ethel. The master was talking about when he ret … ret …’
‘Retires,’ Ethel finished for her.
‘Yeah, that’s the word. When he retires in a few days.’
‘What did he say about it?’ Ethel urged. She found out about the goings-on upstairs through Mary; the girl was so quiet and unobtrusive that when she served the Burton Blakes they seemed to forget she was there.
‘He said he’ll still be doing work as a private consul …’
‘Consultant,’ Ethel offered.
‘Yeah, that’s it.’
‘What did the mistress say about that?’
‘She didn’t say much, and if anything she looked happy about it.’
‘I suppose she’ll be glad that he won’t be under her feet all day,’ Ethel mused.
‘Yeah, ’cos if he was, he’d put the kibosh on her drinking.’
‘Mary, what did I just tell you about being disrespectful?’
‘Yeah, sorry,’ Mary said as she ran water into the sink. ‘I’d best get stuck into these dishes.’
Ethel was tired, worn out, her feet more swollen than ever. She knew that Albie was right when he said it was time for her to retire, but that meant leaving her apartment. She’d have to find somewhere else to live, but with only her pension to support herself, the rent would have to be cheap. She had no idea where to start, or how to go about finding a flat, but was sure that Albie would help her. He might be able to suggest somewhere near to where he lived with his mother in Battersea. Living closer, and not working such long hours here, she’d be able to see him more often.
Ethel shifted in her chair, her thoughts still turning. Though she wasn’t overly worried yet, it had been weeks since she’d seen Albie. Maybe he’d found a job, like the night shift one in a local factory that he’d mentioned, and if that was the case he’d have little time to visit her. Still, no doubt as soon as he could, Albie would call in – and when he did, Ethel would tell him that she was going to take his advice and retire. She knew that he was worried about her, so he’d be chuffed and she was sure he’d be happy to help her.
The view from Constance’s bedroom window changed with the seasons. In autumn the leaves on the trees had turned from green to various shades of gold, red and brown. Now, at the end of November, the branches were mostly bare, skeletal, though the darkness hid the bleak vista until morning.
Her mood bleak too, Constance had left her bedroom door ajar, waiting to hear Mary go up to her room on the fourth floor. She needed to speak to Ethel but it had to be in private.
When Constance finally heard Mary retiring to bed at just after ten-thirty, she sneaked downstairs, pleased to see that her mother was asleep on the sofa. Softly closing the drawing room door, Constance went down to the basement to find it in darkness. Ethel must have gone to bed too, and Constance stood, biting her lip, before desperation led her to rap on the woman’s bedroom door, whispering, ‘Ethel … Ethel, are you awake?’
‘What? Yes. Hold on.’
Shortly after, Ethel appeared, the light behind her showing her in a pink hairnet and dressing gown. She asked worriedly, ‘What’s wrong, Constance? Is it your mother?’
‘No, she’s fine,’ Constance said hastily. ‘I … I just need to talk to you.’
‘Talk to me?’ Ethel protested. ‘At this time of night?’
‘I’m sorry, but it’s important and I don’t know who else to turn to.’
Ethel signed heavily but said kindly, ‘All right, but let’s go into the kitchen. With the fire banked up it’ll still be warm.’
At Ethel’s soft tone, Constance almost broke down, but she managed to stem her tears and followed Ethel into the kitchen, where the woman sat down at one side of the hearth, gesturing to her to sit on the other.
‘Right, now, what’s this all about?’ Ethel asked.
‘I … I had dreamed of a career in medicine, or the law, but that’s going to be impossible now.’
‘Why? What’s changed?’
‘Something has happened and … Oh, dear, I really need to talk to Albie.’
‘Albie? What for?’
‘I … I need to tell him something. Will he be coming to see you soon?’
‘I dunno. I haven’t seen him in weeks.’
‘Please, Ethel, can you tell me where he lives?’
‘Look, love, I know you like Albie, but you shouldn’t go chasing after him. If he was interested in you he’d have let you know. As he hasn’t I don’t think he’d want me to give you his address.’
‘Ethel, please, you don’t understand. I must see him.’
The woman’s tone changed. ‘I think you’d better tell me what this is all about.’
Constance felt tears flooding her eyes as she croaked, ‘I … I’m having a baby.’
‘You’re pregnant?’ Ethel said, her eyes now wide with shock.
‘Yes and … and, now do you understand why I have to see Albie?’ Constance asked, juddering for breath and struggling to speak.
‘What for?’ Ethel asked, but then her eyes narrowed. ‘You’re not trying to lay this on Albie, are you? If you are, you can forget it, young lady! He only spoke briefly to you once and you weren’t alone. I was there, as was Mary, so don’t you dare try to name my Albie as the father.’
‘But he is, Ethel. I saw him more than once and one evening he took me for a walk on the common. That … that’s when it happened.’
‘My God,’ Ethel wailed. ‘You’re not saying that he rap—’
‘No, no,’ Constance quickly interrupted. ‘I … I was willing. I should have stopped him, I know that, but well …’
‘Oh, you silly girl,’ Ethel cried, then sat up straight again. ‘Your parents! Have you told your parents?’
‘NO! I can’t. They’ll go mad.’
‘How far are you gone?’
‘I’m not sure. I’ve missed a few monthlies so does that mean I’m about three months?’
‘Yes, it does and your parents will soon see for themselves once you start to show. At three months gone, you won’t be able to hide it for much longer.’
‘I know, and that’s why I have to talk to Albie. Once he knows I’m pregnant he’s sure to marry me and … and if we do it quickly …’
‘Constance, unless your parents know about the baby, I don’t think they’ll agree to the marriage.’
‘Mother would agree to anything when she’s drunk.’
‘Yes, I suppose that’s true. But first things first, you’re right – you have to see Albie. It’s Sunday tomorrow and he’ll probably be at home in the morning. I’ll give you his address along with directions. You should aim to be there before midday.’
‘Ethel, please, will you come with me?’ Constance asked hopefully. She didn’t think she’d have the courage to go alone.
‘No, love, I can’t. I’m not due any time off until next week.’
‘We could go in the evening, after you’ve finished work for the day.’
‘He may not be in then and it would probably be a wasted journey.’
‘You could ring him, tell him we’re coming,’ Constance suggested, desperate for Ethel’s support.
‘Ring him? Do you mean use a telephone?’
‘Yes.’
‘Miss, my daughter hasn’t got a telephone.’
‘She hasn’t? Why?’ Constance asked incredulously.
‘Not everyone can afford to have one installed, or to pay the rental.’
Constance twisted her hair and frowned. She took having a telephone for granted. In fact, she took everything for granted: her parents paid for the clothes she wore, the food she ate, the home she lived in. Plus, they gave her a little allowance on top of that. When she married Albie all that would change and now she felt a shiver of apprehension. What would her life be like when they were married? Would they be poor, unable to pay for something as simple as a telephone? Desperately, she blurted, ‘Ethel, is there any way I can get rid of the baby?’
‘There are lots of old wives’ tales, such as sitting in a hot bath while drinking gin. I’ve never heard of that working, which only leaves an abortion. A doctor could arrange one under certain serious criteria but I don’t think you fulfil any of those. That just leaves an illegal abortion, but I’ve heard of women dying after letting some old crone butcher them.’
Constance shuddered. With no other choice and her future uncertain, she took Albie’s address from Ethel. Surely he’d agree to marry her? She desperately hoped so.
Ethel went back to bed, her mind in turmoil. She’d made excuses not to go with Constance to see Albie, knowing that if she was there her daughter wouldn’t allow them over the doorstep. She couldn’t believe that Albie had taken advantage of Miss Constance, but then again, the girl had said she was willing.
She tossed and turned, worrying about how the Burton Blakes would react when they found out that Constance was pregnant. Would they disown her? If so, it would leave the girl totally dependent on Albie. If he was working in the factory, Ethel doubted he earned much, and it would be a struggle to support a wife and child. Of course, his mother would probably offer to give them a home, but living in that tiny terrace in such a run-down area would come as a shock to Constance.
Ethel shifted her painfully throbbing feet as she thought about her own position. When it all came out, the Burton Blakes were sure to ask her to leave. They wouldn’t want to employ a servant who was related to Albie, but as she’d already decided to retire, Ethel wasn’t worried about that. In fact, if Albie could find her a decent-sized flat in this area, he and Constance could live with her.
Yet even that would still come as a shock to Miss Constance, who was used to this large, beautiful house with staff to do the work. Ethel would have to teach Constance how to cook and clean, along with helping her care for the baby. Ethel smiled. It was a scenario she’d love. She’d be part of a family again, and now she was determined to put her idea to Albie as soon as she saw him.
Ethel closed her eyes, her worries eased, and a soft smile of anticipation on her face now as she fell asleep.