‘What do you think, Ethel?’ Constance asked on Saturday afternoon, after talking of her plans for the house.
‘I dunno, pet. It’s going to be a lot of work and will cost a lot of money.’
‘Money isn’t a problem. My father has left me a lot more than I expected.’
‘Are you sure you aren’t just doing this because you don’t want to live alone in that big house?’
‘Of course not. If that was the case I would sell it and buy something smaller.’
‘I do think it’s a smashing idea, but running a refuge is going to be a lot to manage.’
‘I don’t intend to run it on my own. I’ll get help.’
‘That sounds sensible. I’d imagine you’re going to need it.’
William was now crawling. Constance picked him up before he reached the hearth and said, ‘I’d still like you and Mary to live with me.’
‘No, love, I’m sorry. I’m too old to help you now, and we’re both happy here.’
‘I don’t expect you to help me. I would just love to have you living with me.’
‘If you’re serious about this refuge, we’d be taking up rooms that are needed for the young women you want to help.’
‘Is there anything I can say to make you change your mind?’
‘No, love, as I said, we’re happy here.’
‘All right, but as my father has left me well off at least let me do something for you. I could buy you a house, one with an inside bathroom and in this area as you love it so much.’
‘You’ll do no such thing. I’m not a flippin’ charity case.’
‘Oh, Ethel, I didn’t mean to upset you.’
The old woman’s face softened again. ‘I know you didn’t, love, but despite what you may think, I’m not hard up. I saved a good deal of my wages when I worked for your parents, so I’ve got a nice little nest egg tucked away. If I wanted to find a flat with an inside toilet and bathroom I could, but I’ve settled here now and like my neighbours.’
‘Isn’t there anything you need?’
‘Yeah, a nice cuppa, so go and put the kettle on the gas.’
‘Oh, Ethel, you and your tea,’ Constance said, smiling again. She had to accept Ethel’s decision and get on with her plans. It was a shame though. The house in Clapham just didn’t feel the same without her.
‘Don’t, Denis, please, don’t hit me again,’ Jill begged when her husband returned that evening, drunk and reeling.
‘Well, do it properly this time.’
Jill tried, just as she had done so many times before, but she knew it wouldn’t work. Drink had made him impotent, and no amount of trying could arouse him. She would never understand why he wanted sex when he was in this state, and she wished he would just pass out. She wondered if Denis was abnormal, perverted in some way, but there was nobody she could ask. She’d be too ashamed to admit to the things he made her do.
‘Come on, you useless cow.’
Something snapped and she yelled, ‘It’s not me who’s useless, it’s you.’
But that was a mistake. Denis’s eyes narrowed, his lips tightened, and then the first blow landed. She dropped to the floor and curled into a ball, but Denis grabbed a handful of her hair to drag her up again. She prayed it would be over soon, and thankfully he ran out of steam quite quickly due to his inebriated state, so it was. She left him passed out and sprawled on the sofa, knowing that in the morning she would face a different side of Denis. He’d be so sorry, tearful even, when he saw what he’d done. And like a fool she would forgive him. She always did.
On Sunday Constance dressed with trepidation. She was taking William to see Albie, but now wished she’d left it a bit longer. He might still be angry and she should have given him enough time to calm down.
With her new pushchair travelling was easier, but as she didn’t want to arrive at the door in a taxi she got out at the top of Kibble Street. She knocked on the door and it was a sour-faced Dora who opened it.
‘You’d better come in,’ she said, but then her eyes softened when she looked at William sitting happily in the pushchair.
Seeing Dora he lifted his arms to her and Constance felt a twinge of guilt. William loved his grandmother but she’d taken him away from her. Yet even as this thought formed, she dismissed it. Dora hadn’t exactly made her life easy with her changeable moods – sometimes nasty, sometimes sulky, sometimes nice. William would still see her, but not as often.
‘Can I take him out of the pushchair?’
‘Yes, of course. Where’s Albie?’
‘He ain’t here. He said he’ll see Billy next time.’
‘That shows how much he cares about his son.’
‘He does in his own way and you had no right to run off with Billy like that.’
‘Our marriage has been a farce and you know that, Dora. You’ve seen and heard the way Albie treats me, so is it any wonder that I’ve left him?’
‘For Billy’s sake you should have tried harder to make the marriage work,’ Dora said, holding William in her arms.
‘That would take two, and there was no effort on Albie’s part.’
‘He works hard to provide for you both, working a shitty night-shift job.’
‘Most of his wage stays in his own pocket.’
‘He gives me housekeeping money and he treats you.’
‘If he had his own home to run it would cost him a great deal more, but I’m wasting my breath as I don’t want to argue with you. Would you like me to leave William with you and I’ll pick him up in a couple of hours?’
‘Yeah, that’d be nice.’
‘Very well,’ Constance said, giving William a kiss on his cheek before leaving. It was a warm autumn day and she’d planned to go to the park. She hoped to find Melvin on his favourite bench, and if she did, there was something she wanted to discuss with him.
Albie was in Clapham. He had watched Connie leave and approached her father’s house. He had his spiel well rehearsed. He would tell the old man that when he died he’d be taking over the house and sitting pretty spending his money. He’d then go in for the kill, saying that for ten thousand pounds he’d agree to an annulment.
Still running the words through in his head Albie knocked on the door, and then rang the bell, but nobody came to let him in. Puzzled he went down to the basement, but the same thing happened, the door remaining firmly closed. Surely it wasn’t the cook’s day off too? Frustrated, he had to give up. Only for now, though, he thought on his drive home. He didn’t want to discuss an annulment with Connie; with no money of her own there wasn’t any point. But he’d try to see her father again next time she brought Billy to see them.
Constance walked quickly to the park, avoiding looking at anyone on her way out of Kibble Street. She didn’t want to be waylaid with questions from nosy neighbours, and thankfully none of those were in sight.
‘Melvin, I was hoping to find you here,’ Constance said as she sat down beside him on the bench.
‘Hello, Connie. I see you haven’t got your baby with you. Is he all right?’
‘Yes, but it’s a longish story. I’ve left Albie and moved back to my father’s house. I told Albie they could still see William, so he’s with Dora for a couple of hours.’
‘So your father returned from his travels and agreed to take you in. I’m pleased for you.’
‘Melvin, if I tell you something, will you promise to keep it to yourself? Albie mustn’t find out or it could ruin all my plans.’
‘I won’t say a word.’
‘The truth is, my father died abroad.’
‘Connie, I’m so sorry.’
‘Thank you. As you can imagine, it was quite a shock but I’ve not had time to dwell on it. There’s been a lot of work to do to get the house back up and running. Has Penny had her baby?’
‘Yes, but she hasn’t given it up. My mother won’t let her bring it home, so Penny is hoping the council will house her. In the meantime she’s living in a grotty bedsit and I’m doing my best to help her out. She gets a bit of financial help from the Social, but once she’s paid the rent, it doesn’t leave much.’
‘It must be hard for her. Is she good with the baby?’
‘Yeah, she’s a great mum. It may not be much of a place, but she keeps the bedsit immaculate – and the baby too.’
‘Melvin, I’ve been thinking. As I’m so busy with the house, do you think Penny would like to come and live with me? There’s a nice little flat in the basement that she can have rent-free in exchange for babysitting and cooking.’
‘It’s a lovely offer, but are you sure about this? You hardly know my sister.’
‘She once came to assure me that Albie wasn’t her baby’s father. She didn’t have to do that, and it was nice of her. I think we could get on, and it would be lovely to have someone I know living in the house with me.’
‘I must admit Penny used to be a bit wild, but she’s different now. I think having a baby has made her grow up.’
‘I’m glad she stood her ground and kept her child, but there must be other single mums being forced to give their babies up.’
‘I don’t see why. They could do the same as Penny, claim welfare and rent a room.’
‘What if they’re too young, ruled by their parents, or too afraid to go it alone? I for one would have welcomed somewhere to go when I was pregnant, but with no money and nowhere else to live, I had no choice but to marry Albie. I had no idea I could claim welfare or council housing. Instead my father told me that if I didn’t marry Albie I would be thrown onto the streets.’
‘I didn’t know it was as bad as that for you. I assumed you wanted to marry Albie.’
‘No, I’m afraid I didn’t. Anyway, because of what I went through I want to turn my house into a sort of refuge. I’d like it to be a place to stay for young women who don’t want to give up their babies, and where they can get advice on applying for welfare and housing. Somewhere safe until they are able to stand on their own two feet.’
‘Connie, it’s a nice idea, but have you considered the cost?’
‘Once they obtain welfare, they can contribute to the household expenses.’
‘I doubt that would be enough to cover it.’
‘Maybe not, but I’m comfortably off now and the interest from some of my father’s investments should be sufficient to cover the costs.’
‘If you say so, but are you sure you want to live in a house full of mums and babies?’
‘I’ll have my own separate sanctuary.’
‘It sounds like you’ve thought of everything.’
‘I hope so, but with so much to do to get the house ready, I really do need some help. Do you think Penny would be interested?’
‘I don’t know, Connie, but probably. I’ll go and talk to her.’
‘Right then, here’s my address. If Penny wants to accept my offer she can move in as soon as she likes. She’ll have to bring her baby’s crib because at the moment I haven’t any spare cots. I’ve also decided to ask everyone to revert to my given name of Constance. I never really liked being called Connie.’
‘Constance it is, and it suits you,’ Melvin said as he rose to his feet. ‘If Penny wants to move in with you I’ll probably have to give her a hand with her stuff, so you might see me later too.’
Constance smiled warmly at Melvin, and when he left she sat looking at the lake, the fronds of the willow tree reflecting in the calm water. Turning the house into a refuge had been a big decision and she hoped she hadn’t rushed into it. It wouldn’t be easy, sharing her home with women she didn’t know, but she’d already decided to make a small, separate apartment for herself on the top floor. The rooms under the eaves had sloping ceilings, and in the morning she’d ask a builder for a quote to carry out the conversion. She wanted two of the smaller rooms converted into a kitchenette and a bathroom. The other two would be her bedroom and sitting room.
A glance at her watch showed Constance it was time to collect William. In case Penny did turn up later she would have to make up the bed in the basement flat. More things to add to her growing list, she thought, while walking back to Kibble Street. She would need extra baby equipment, sheets, pillowcases and blankets, along with towels. But her bank account was healthy and her father’s investments were performing well. It had been a pleasant shock to discover her father’s wealth, after he had been so parsimonious with her mother and the staff.
Her planning made the walk pass quickly. Albie responded to her knock and stood aside to let her enter. Constance found herself tense, worried about his reaction, but he said calmly, ‘I suppose you thought leaving me like that was clever.’
‘No, not clever, just necessary. I was worried about how you’d react.’
‘Well, you needn’t have been. I couldn’t give a toss.’
‘Yes, you made it clear from the start how you felt about me.’
‘And you made it obvious that you looked down on me.’
‘That’s enough,’ Dora said. ‘If this turns into a row it’ll upset Billy.’
‘You’re right. It’s time I left,’ Constance said, wanting out of this house and all the bad memories it evoked.
‘You’ll bring him again Sunday week?’ Dora appealed.
‘I said I would.’
‘Bye, my darling,’ Dora said, hugging William and kissing him on his red cheeks before reluctantly putting him in his pushchair.
Constance could see how much William meant to Dora and once again felt a surge of guilt, yet it wasn’t enough to make her stay in a loveless and unfulfilled marriage. She said a swift goodbye, noting Albie’s lack of response. Dora might love her grandson, but it seemed Albie still had no time for him, and with that the last of her guilt died.
‘I’ve given it a lot of thought, Ethel, but I don’t want to move back to Clapham, rent-free or not. I like it here.’
‘Yes, I thought you’d say that. I must admit I feel the same.’
‘I also don’t think Percy would be keen on the idea. I think he likes me living close to the café.’
‘More like close to him,’ Ethel said with a warm smile.
‘Probably. It was good of Constance to make the offer though.’
‘I think she wants people she knows around her.’
‘If it was my house I’d turn it into a B&B.’
‘Mary, that’s a really good idea. You’re not as daft as you look,’ Ethel said and chuckled.
‘Well, thanks for that,’ Mary replied, feigning a hurt expression.
‘I’m only kidding, and next time I see Constance I’ll tell her what you’ve come up with. It sounds a better idea than opening a refuge.’
‘It’ll be a lot of work though, too much for one person.’
‘She could employ someone, maybe offer them the basement flat as inducement.’
‘I don’t know what inducement means.’
‘Persuasion, a reason to accept something.’
‘Oh, I get it. A sort of bonus.’
‘Yeah, I suppose you could put it like that.’
‘Is that why you took the job as cook?’
Ethel thought for a moment. It had been a long time ago but she remembered the day they’d moved into the big house like it was only yesterday. She’d been much younger then, filled with excitement at the prospect of a new home and job. ‘We’d been bombed out during the war and lost everything so that flat was like a godsend. I know Mr Burton Blake was mean, and his wife could be demanding, but I was happy enough there. More so when my old man was alive.’
‘Do you still miss him?’ Mary asked.
‘Yes, every day. He was the love of my life.’
‘I wonder if I’ll ever feel the same about Percy.’
‘Time will tell, Mary. Now come on, get the kettle on, I’m parched.’
‘You always are. It’d make life easier if we bought an urn.’
Ethel chuckled. Mary could be a comic at times, and very lovable. She wasn’t surprised that Percy had fallen for her, and despite the gap in their ages, she thought them well suited.
‘So you’re saying Connie is offering me a flat in return for babysitting and a bit of cooking,’ Penny mused. ‘I don’t know, Melvin, it sounds too good to be true.’
‘I’m sure it’s a genuine offer. Connie, or Constance as she’s calling herself now, wants to open a refuge,’ Melvin told his sister, going on to relate what Constance had told him.
‘Huh, you’re making her sound like some sort of saint.’
‘No, not a saint. Just someone who has been through a lot and wants to help others so they don’t have to suffer the same. She was more or less forced to marry Albie and he treated her badly, so much so that she plucked up the courage to leave him.’
‘I used to fancy him and I was jealous of Constance when she married him.’
‘You had a lucky escape. He’d have treated you just as badly.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘Believe me, I do, but don’t ask me why. Now, do you want to take the job or not?’
‘It’d be nice to get out of this bedsit. The walls are damp and there’s black mould growing.’
‘Surely that’s a good enough reason?’
‘Yeah, but what if the council come up with a flat for me?’
‘That could take ages, and if they do eventually offer you one, then you can still take it. I’m sure Constance would soon find someone else to replace you.’
‘Yeah, I suppose, and I don’t think it’d hurt to give the job a try. Right then, cop hold of Kimberly while I pack.’
Melvin held the baby in his arms and smiled down at his beautiful coffee-coloured niece. His mother was missing out on her granddaughter, who could have brought her so much joy. And why? Because of her prejudice and fear of what the neighbours would say. He had tried to talk to her, told her how beautiful Kimberly was, but she stubbornly refused to listen.
Penny didn’t have a great deal and was soon ready, but there was the pram that doubled as a crib, with a frame that folded. ‘We can’t get on a bus with this lot. I’ll go and find a taxi. My treat,’ he told Penny.
It took fifteen minutes standing on the main road before he could hail a black cab, but at last, after directing the driver to Penny’s place, they loaded her things and were on their way.