Chapter Six
“You’ve invited that scoundrel into the house? Have you gone mad?”
Lily grimaced, striding briskly away from her older sister and down the corridor. Mama had shut herself up in her room, refusing to come out and meet “the spawn of the devil” as she had put it. Willa, likewise, had agreed with their mother and spent her time silently brooding and shooting Lily watery, accusing glares. It wasn’t Adam’s fault that Willa’s paramour had callously cast her off last night without so much as the veneer of civility.
Lily paused mid-step before continuing her trek away from the dramatic women in the household. Perhaps Adam’s abandonment of Lily years ago—the only truth of the past that her sisters and mother knew of the matter, as Papa had taken the secret in its entirety to his grave—had proven a catalyst to their situation now. However, he certainly hadn’t taken Mr. Sanderson aside and convinced him that Willa was not worth his time.
The supposedly honorable man had decided that on his own.
And Willa, in her grief, had been too deep in despair to lend any more sense and solace in the matter than her glares and a whispered sentence Lily had pretended not to hear before leaving the room.
“Do you enjoy having your heart broken? I don’t.”
Lily was too busy navigating the precipice between decline and poverty. Her family’s future was in her hands. They might not agree with Lily’s choice, but they didn’t know the full story. Nor would they.
The one person Lily had counted on for support was Sophie. She addressed problems with the gentle balm of her optimism and even temper. She never assigned blame.
Today, however, Sophie had tossed aside her role as the soft-spoken voice of reason. She bristled with malice as she stormed after Lily. They’d both seen the figure alight from the hired hack on the street, a man Lily intended to welcome into the house for the time being. Whether or not Adam slept beneath the same roof as her should have been no one’s concern but her own.
Sophie, on the other hand, had taken it as her burden. Seconds away from the front door, she caught Lily’s arm, her grip like claws of ice. “Don’t do this to us.”
Lily choked, for a moment going limp. “Do what?”
“Invite that demon into our house.”
The breath whooshed from between Lily’s lips, ringing in the silence. Sophie’s grip tightened, her eyes burning with banked fire.
I’m doing this for you. She would never have invited Adam into her home or her life for any other reason. However, she couldn’t tell her sister the true reason for Adam’s temporary stay.
“I told him he would be treated with civility.”
“Then you lied,” Sophie spat, as vehement as if she swore a curse against him. Sophie, the most levelheaded and kind of the three of them. She blinked twice, seeming to return to herself. Tentatively, she withdrew her hand.
Lily flexed her fingers against the ache her sister’s hold had left. For so small a woman, she was deceptively strong.
Quietly, Sophie added, “I know he did more than invest your dowry in trade and leave to oversee it. Papa never said, but neither of you would have reacted so profoundly if your husband’s intentions had been so innocent.”
Lily said nothing. Her gut churned with unease. How much did her sister suspect? Did she know how the family teetered upon ruin? If so, she had never once tried to lighten the burden Lily carried in caring for her family. Until now. When, ironically, Adam’s presence would only help their plight rather than deteriorate it.
“He’s no husband to you. I don’t care what the law decrees. You owe him nothing.”
The knocker sounded at the door, a hollow ringing sound that echoed between Lily’s ears. She rubbed at her forehead. “I know. This is temporary, Sophie. I promise. I’m not inviting him into my life again.”
Her sister stared at her for so long, Lily considered the conversation over. When she turned away, Sophie raised her voice.
“Willa told me he was at Lady Breeding’s dinner party.”
Apparently, despite her heartbreak, Willa had been perceptive enough of the evening to carry tales home. Lily swallowed hard but had no response. She feared confirming the tale would only rekindle the argument. She reached for the latch instead.
Sophie slipped between her and the door. Her eyes were shrewd as she tilted her face back. “Tell me that was the first you’ve seen of him since he returned to London. Tell me you didn’t know he would be there.”
“I didn’t know,” Lily snapped. “I certainly didn’t insist on attending for his behalf. I was there for Willa, and as much as it grieves me to say it, you were right. She was invited as the entertainment, and with Mr. Sanderson’s treatment of her, she certainly became that.”
Her attempts at distraction were for naught as the man on the other side of the door rapped with the knocker again. Not loudly enough to carry far into the house— He heard the exchange. Lily cursed under her breath.
“Sophie, please. Let me answer the door.”
“You can’t ask that of me.”
To Lily’s shame, tears filled her sister’s eyes. She felt them, as hot and wet and choking as if she were on the verge of tears herself. “I can’t ask you for civility?”
Sophie pressed her lips together, but it didn’t keep the tears from spilling onto her cheeks. Unlike Willa and Lily, Sophie always managed to look beautiful when she cried. No splotchy complexion, only a reddening of her nose and eyes. Lily couldn’t stand there and watch her sister lose her composure, not when she was a second away from falling to pieces. She had held this family together by the skin of her teeth, with Mama nearly catatonic and Sophie too delicate and well-bred to lead them herself. Lily hadn’t the strength to fight another battle.
And the man on the other side of the door would give her no quarter, even if he proclaimed to be an ally. She needed all her wits to face him. Lily dabbed beneath her eyes, fearing that her emotions had overwhelmed her, too, but she found the skin dry and hot.
“You cannot ask us to be civil to the man who killed Papa.”
“He didn’t—”
Lily couldn’t do this, couldn’t defend the man she also blamed. But she couldn’t leave him out on their doorstep, either. Certainly not with a trunk of his belongings, where other people might see.
“Move, Sophie.” She’d lost the taste for eloquence.
“Lily.” The entreaty dropped from Sophie’s lips even as she stepped aside.
Lily clasped her sister’s hand hard. She needed an anchor. “He’s here to help us.”
“From the gossips? Nothing can save us, and you know it.”
Nevertheless, Sophie clenched Lily’s hand every bit as hard.
“Trust me on this. We need him,” Lily breathed.
Sophie’s lips trembled, her tears gathering in clumps along her lower eyelashes. “I worry about you. You don’t need to do this. We can get by without him.”
Lily wrenched her hand away as the knocker sounded again, impatient. “What would you know of it?” Her raised voice echoed over the sound, which cut off abruptly. Adam, at least, had the good sense not to interrupt further. Swallowing against the burn of resentment she’d been choking down for years, she lowered her voice. “You and Willa haven’t lifted a finger to save our family from poverty. I’ve been doing the hard work, not you. If I say this is necessary, believe me. It is.”
Sophie recoiled as if slapped. She drew herself up, her serene mask fitting into place as if she’d never shown any hint of vulnerability. The distance in her expression, if anything, was even more cutting. “Do what you will, but don’t pretend you know what I have or haven’t tried to do to help this family.” She turned on her heel, shoulders thrust back and her hair whipping wildly behind her as she fled deeper into the house.
Lily watched her go with dread knotting her stomach. She hadn’t expected her family to welcome Adam with open arms, but the fact that her kindest sister could not respect her decision boded ill for his stay. Turning, she stared at the door a moment before reaching for the latch. For good or ill, she was about to be reunited with the man she’d once thought to spend her life with. Now, she couldn’t be rid of him quickly enough.
The door swung open to reveal Adam, hands tucked into the pockets of his greatcoat as he casually stood next to a trunk. Had anyone seen him? Fighting the instinct to turn him away, Lily met his gaze. Was Sophie right—and she could get by on her own?
But Sophie didn’t know the depth of what she had to do. If good, kind, noble Sophie were to learn that Lily had agreed to resort to theft, she would never forgive her. She would never condone it.
“Are you going to invite me inside?”
Lily blinked hard. Still shaken by her argument with her sister, she surreptitiously patted under her eyes as she stepped back to make room for him. “We haven’t any footmen to help you.”
He shrugged, wrapping his arms around the side of the trunk and levering it into the air. His breath whooshed out audibly, but once he had the trunk settled in his arms, he offered her a smile overtop of it. “I’ve gotten it this far on my own. I should be able to manage.”
Despite his words, he lowered it to the ground the moment he stepped inside. Lily hastily shut the door, the ring of the wooden box hitting the floor overly loud in her ears. Everyone would know he had arrived. There was no stopping this now.
“You can put your greatcoat in there.” Lily pointed toward the closet, leaving him to divest himself of his garments.
By the time she turned away, Sophie had returned. She was serene and ghostly pale, resolute. Behind her blue eyes was a torrent of pain and accusation. “You have no business here.”
He straightened, leaving the trunk on the floor as he brushed a lock of hair out of his face. The smile he offered her was practiced, one Lily had seen a hundred times. Not a crack in the mask betrayed the pain that her sister might have caused.
“Circumstances have returned me to London. I trust Lily has told you my stay will be temporary?”
Despite the way she had railed and pleaded with Lily minutes before, now Sophie was an icy pond. Not a ripple betrayed the turbulent emotions beneath the facade. “She has.” Sophie bit off the words. “I feel she is making a mistake by giving you so much as a breath of her time. You’ve given us nothing but pain.”
Her words washed over Adam without any visible effect. Did he feel no remorse? Lily bit the inside of her cheek hard, not wanting to defend either of them.
Unfortunately, Sophie was far from finished. Frostily, she lifted her chin. “Where were you when we needed you? You didn’t help us clear the debts and you stripped us of Lily’s dowry when we could have used it most. If you’re in London, it had best be to get an annulment so we can do the proper thing and give Lily over in marriage to the one man who has helped us in our time of need.”
Lily gasped for breath.
“Impossible,” Adam snapped at once. His voice was like the stroke of an executioner’s blade. Although his expression was composed, his eyes blazed with unconcealed fury.
Heedless to the danger, Sophie stepped forward, her expression every bit as steely. “Why is it impossible? Everyone knows you’ve been away from London for the past four years. All you’d have to attest is that the marriage was never consummated, and…”
“Enough, Sophie!”
Lily’s shrill voice echoed through the suddenly silent house. She struggled to breathe evenly, clenching and unclenching her fists.
“I can make my own decisions. This is my life, and I’ve decided to welcome my husband into the house with me. I will not consider another.”
Sophie blinked slowly, as if she hadn’t considered that Lily would disagree. “You and Mr. Chatterley…”
Adam stiffened.
Lily gritted her teeth. Reid is no saint. But she wouldn’t disclose her reasons for abhorring the cold, jaded man who pulled her strings to the tune of his fiddle. Softly, she repeated, “Enough.”
Although her sister didn’t lose the edge to her glare, she pressed her lips together.
However, Lily didn’t trust her to keep her silence. “I’ve made my decision,” she repeated, though a fat lot of good the statement had done her before she’d opened the door. “Don’t mention this—or Reid—again.”
“Why? Do you fear I’ll make him jealous? Don’t flatter yourself. If he cared for you at all, he would never have left.”
Adam laid a hand on Lily’s shoulder, offering her comfort and strength even as he claimed her. “Careful, now.” He spoke slowly, with an inflection of good cheer that veiled the edge beneath. “If I were you, I wouldn’t speak of that which you do not know.”
“I know everything I need to, Mr. Darling.”
Lily bristled. When would this end?
Likely not until he leaves.
She was exhausted already.
“Sophie…”
Her sister took the smallest of steps back, conceding defeat. However, before she turned away, she added, “Perhaps this miraculous return to London will have its benefits. With both of you together, you can sign for a return of investment. I think it’s high time you return Lily’s dowry, don’t you?”
Lawks, the lies Lily had told to ease her family’s suspicions. Lily didn’t recall half of them. She gritted her teeth, reliving the humiliation of waking up alone in that hotel room in Bristol. Adam’s hand on her shoulder seemed to grow heavier, weighing her down. Would it be simpler to confess the truth and air it out?
Adam squeezed her shoulder, taking the lie in stride. “I’m afraid the matter of reclaiming our investment will take more than a day.”
So the full value of her dowry would not be forthcoming. Lily hadn’t expected him to miraculously repay her. No, she suspected the money had been squandered. Why else would he have crawled back to London? She shrugged her shoulder out of his grasp.
“I will, of course, repay the family.”
Silence shrouded them, suffocating. Lily’s heart beat so hard, each pulse hurt. Sophie turned on her heel with no more compassion than she would have given a parasite. “I’m going to bed with Mama. She’s sure to be thinking of Papa tonight, especially with him where he doesn’t belong.”
Her glare, like all her others, slid off of Adam’s shoulders like rain on oiled cloth. He watched her leave, stoic. Perhaps even affable in demeanor. Drained, Lily turned away, too.
“Bring your trunk upstairs. You’re to have Papa’s room while you’re here.”
“Your father’s?” Lily heard the frown in his voice but didn’t turn, not even when he clasped her arm, halting her. “Why am I to take your father’s room?”
“He’s dead, so no one else is using it.”
The venom in her voice cut deep enough for him to hastily drop her arm. She blinked away tears, her throat thick with emotion so intense it ached. Why hadn’t she considered Mama when she’d asked Adam to stay in this house? Although Papa hadn’t died by his hand, the shock of Lily’s heartbreak had stolen his good health. He had fought illness from that day on.
Softly, she added, “You certainly will not be warming my bed.” Mama had already been shuffled into Lily’s bed while the other two sisters shared another. For appearances, if anyone should happen to glean their sleeping arrangements.
“When did your father pass?”
She thought about ignoring the question. Instead, she swallowed hard and answered, “Nearly a year after you left. His health started to decline shortly after I came home.” It had almost seemed a fortuitous thing, then. Her marriage falling to shambles had allowed her to step into her father’s shoes. She’d only realized after his passing how little he had taught her. He’d given her enough practice at crafting chains and setting stones to make her a master. And with Sophie’s help, she’d managed to decipher the business ledger. But she had stumbled on the finer points of business, like the relationships cultivated with gem merchants and the assurances she would buy regularly in order to entice them to offer their wares to her first and her competitors second. Eventually she’d learned. Month by month, mistake by mistake, she’d learned.
All on her own.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help.”
The air between her and Adam charged like the slow, simmering build of a storm. When she turned, he stared at her, his expression unreadable. Swallowing thickly, she held her ground.
In a low, rough voice, he asked, “What’s this about an investment? In case I’m asked for particulars.”
She couldn’t look him in the eye, so she counted the buttons on his jacket instead. “I couldn’t bear to tell them the truth of what you’d done to me. I said instead that you’d abandoned me in favor of chasing your investments, and we’d invested every last penny of my dowry. That I couldn’t get the money back without us both to sign for it.”
“I see.” His jaw worked. The shadow of stubble lined the underside of his chin.
Lily turned away again.
“If it’s your dowry you want…”
“Forget it. I told you, once you help me wiggle out from under Reid’s thumb, the debt will be repaid. Come, I’ll show you to your room.” Without waiting, she strode briskly for the stairs.
Despite the weight of the chest, he caught up to her easily with his longer stride. The encumbrance was a small blessing, for it left him without the breath to question her further. Her heartbeat quickened with dread as she reached the family wing. In order to reach Papa’s room—no, Adam’s room, for now—she must pass the other bedchambers. If Mama spotted Adam, would she faint away as she’d been prone to doing in the months following Papa’s death? Lily abhorred herself for putting her family through further pain.
It’s in their own best interests.
Tentatively, she took the first step down the bare corridor. The floor creaked. She held her breath. When no one emerged, she grew bolder, forging a path toward her destination.
Fortunately, no one jumped out to eviscerate Adam as they crossed the corridor. Outside Papa’s bedchamber door, Lily hesitated. Her fingers caressed the latch. Mama hadn’t moved an article since his death. The entire room was a shrine to the man they had lost—and entombed in dust, as Lily had discovered earlier that day when she’d stepped inside to clean it. The entire time, the back of her neck had prickled as though someone watched her.
It’s only a room.
Swallowing back her fear, she pushed open the door and led the way inside.
Adam strode to the center of the room without hesitation and laid his trunk near the foot of the bed. When he straightened, rolling his shoulders and turning to her, she shut the door to speak in relative privacy. She didn’t want her sisters listening in.
He looked around the room, filled with Papa’s old things. Lily hadn’t contemplated selling them. They hadn’t been reduced that low yet, though it was a near thing.
“Where will you sleep?”
“Not here,” she answered, her voice clipped. She glanced at the door to the corridor, reassuring herself it was shut tight before she closed the distance between them. She stopped out of arm’s reach, pointing across the room from the bed to another closed door. This one led to the adjoining room, Mama’s room. “I’ll sleep in there. Alone. I owe you no marital duties.”
He stared at her for a long, unfathomable moment. “I will not force you to do anything you don’t want to do, Lily. If you come to my bed, it will be of your own free will.”
“It will be in your dreams.”
She hadn’t meant to take a step closer, but as she drew in a deep breath, her chest brushed the buttons of his coat. Awareness flooded her, awakening long-dormant memories of their bodies intertwined and his touch igniting her passion. Gasping, she stepped back. She couldn’t surrender herself to him again. Now, she had his true measure.
As if sensing her instinct to flee clear across the continent, Adam claimed her hand. His skin warm, he pressed it over his heart. The strong beat stirred her, echoing deep in her belly. He never lifted his warm eyes from her, as if she were the only woman in the world.
Had he truly been faithful to her? She hadn’t taken another lover. Not out of duty or loyalty to him, but because she’d been far too busy keeping her family together to think of passion or happiness. Memories between bedsheets belonged only to her and him, but a man like Adam… Why wouldn’t he have taken another woman? He had abandoned her.
He couldn’t possibly have meant to return four years later. Why steal from her only to come crawling back?
“Please forgive my sister’s manners. If you avoid them as much as possible, I’m certain they won’t trouble you.”
He shook his head. “Don’t apologize for them. They’re trying to protect you, which is what I—” He shut his mouth with a snap. His jaw working, he turned his face away. “I deserve their censure. Lily, I never meant to hurt you…”
Lily retracted her hand from his chest as if burned. “Whether you meant to or not, you did.” Inwardly quaking, she retreated behind the adjoining door and locked it in her wake.
It didn’t make her feel safe from further harm. The past had too much hold on her.