Chapter Eighteen

In the morning, Lily walked through the house like a ghost. She felt thin and transparent, or like a shipwreck crashed against rocks by a stormy sea. Adrift, she found herself in the sitting room, half hoping that her sister would be there. When Sophie was absent, she sank into the armchair, unable to support her weight any longer.

If she carried out Reid’s demands, Adam would leave her again. Long after he’d held her last night, she’d gone to bed without him and cried herself to sleep. If he’d heard, he’d kept his distance. For the sake of her own sanity, she must do the same.

She had no choice but to dance to Reid’s tune. If she refused, he might reveal the secrets he hung over Adam’s head. Worse, he had her family’s livelihood in his hands. If he turned them out of house and home, what would they do? Lily wouldn’t have the shop to support them. Their friends had dwindled. They had no one to offer them shelter. She had not a single soul to rely upon to provide for her family but herself, and Lily feared she was close to her breaking point.

She didn’t know what to do.

“Lily?”

She looked up at Sophie’s tentative expression.

“Are you all right? Did someone say something— Did Adam?”

Adam had said something to her, but not scathing. Illuminating.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, making herself smaller in the chair as she struggled not to cry.

Sophie rushed into the room. “Oh, Lily.” Despite the size of the armchair, her sister managed to squeeze in next to her. She wrapped her arms around Lily.

Her eyes were dry and red, her lips cracked and sore. She swallowed back more tears, more pain as she leaned into her sister’s embrace. For once, she wanted her older sister to hold the world’s ills at bay with her unfailing optimism.

“What is it? What did he say?”

She sounded fierce, like she was ready to take on the world for Lily. At the moment, Lily needed nothing more. If she faltered, she needed someone to stand and hold the family together.

“He says he’ll have to g-go. He cannot stay in London ind-definitely.”

Sophie stroked her hair, her hand gentle. “I thought you hated him.”

Tears spilled down Lily’s cheeks. “I thought so, too.”

Her sister hugged her tighter. “If he’s not willing to take you with him, then he isn’t worthy of you.”

The problem wasn’t that he was unwilling to take her with him. The problem was what would happen to her family if she left.

Leaving London had been their original plan upon their marriage. After Bristol, they had intended to seek out a small seaside cottage and live quietly on her dowry. Now, she had no funds. Her family had no means of supporting themselves. Mama would not contemplate letting out the servants’ quarters to poor families, let alone leaving the townhouse altogether. How would her sisters survive without her?

They needed her, but she needed Adam.

You’ve survived this long without him.

Not happily. Now that she knew the truth, her mourning would cut even deeper, for she wouldn’t have anger to temper it. If he left, there was only one man she could blame.

“Do you trust Reid?”

Sophie pulled back, confused. “I thought we were talking about Adam. Did Mr. Chatterley say something to you?”

Lily was hurt more by what he hadn’t said.

“No. He said nothing. Do you trust him? He has our debts in his hands.”

“He’s always been mad for you.”

Lily wrinkled her nose. “As a friend.” Perhaps not even that, given how he’d parted her and Adam. “I can’t imagine Reid being romantic with anyone. He’s too caught up in his books.”

Yet only a few weeks ago, he had said something that implied otherwise. Something she had missed entirely when they’d been friends. Her obliviousness had certainly been to her benefit.

Sophie answered, “Perhaps, but he’s loyal to the bone, and he certainly decided that you fell under his purview for protection. Didn’t you notice how hurt and offended he was when you married Adam?”

Reid had protested, but it had fallen on deaf ears. After all, Adam hadn’t hidden his nature from her. He had been honest with her from the very first day. Even when her memory of him had been twisted, at its heart Adam hadn’t been at fault. Reid had twisted the facts to suit him, to make himself the hero.

Lily swallowed hard. “He never liked Adam.”

“No, he didn’t.”

Silence enveloped them. She leaned into Sophie’s embrace.

After a moment, her sister asked, “Is it Mr. Chatterley or Adam who must leave London?”

“Adam.”

Sophie tsked under her breath. “If you ask me, you need neither of them. Both of them left you four years ago. Neither of them were here to gather the pieces when Papa died. They don’t deserve your friendship or your love.”

Her voice raw, Lily confessed, “I love him. I love Adam.”

Sophie stiffened, then sighed, melting around her. “I know.”

“I don’t want him to leave.”

“Then go with him.”

Lily lifted her head, turning to meet her sister’s gaze once more. “What would happen to you if I did?”

Sophie’s expression spoke volumes. Disappointment, shame, determination crossed behind her eyes. But she didn’t have a solution ready on her lips. If Lily left, no one would provide for her family.

“Would you consider coming with us?”

“Me?” Sophie blinked rapidly. She looked faint. “I…suppose I might, if there’s no home for us here anymore.”

“And Mama?”

The pain on her sister’s face mirrored that in Lily’s heart. It disappeared a moment later, replaced by a grim determination. “Mama is a grown woman. If she wants to make an ill-informed decision, let her.”

Lily had never heard her sister sound so callous. “I can’t abandon Mama.” Which meant that, when she’d finished dancing to Reid’s tune, he would tear her marriage apart a second time.

She deserved better from him. However, the past four years of hardship had taught her how to make tough decisions. Lily had to keep her family safe, no matter the cost to her heart. If every moment between her and Adam was to be stolen, Lily had finished wasting them. She would take whatever time and pleasure they had left and pay the price for it later.

…

“I’ve been looking for you.”

Adam hesitated, then shut the door to his room. Lily perched on the edge of his bed, her legs crossed and her palms braced on either side of her hips. This time, she was fully clothed—a blessing to his sanity. Not that he didn’t remember every freckle that adorned her ivory skin.

He turned, shucking his jacket and placing it neatly over his trunk as he avoided her eye. He worked his cufflinks free of their holes and rolled up his sleeves. Every muscle in his body tensed at once, making it difficult to appear relaxed and casual.

“I wanted to give you the time and space to process what we spoke of last night.”

He’d needed the time to think as well. After holding her warm body to him for nearly an hour the night before, his composure had been in tatters. Think of what’s best for Lily. What was best for Lily were the papers in his trunk and a life far from Chatterley’s reach.

But Adam couldn’t make decisions for her. He could only do his part here and now.

“I’ve had time.”

The mattress creaked as she stood. Adam swallowed heavily, mustering what was left of his restraint. He cared for Lily. Not only the woman she had been, but the woman she was now. If he allowed himself to acclimate to her presence, he might never let her go.

And unless she changed her mind about leaving London, he would have to let her go.

To hide the ache in his chest, he crossed to the basin in the corner and splashed water on his face. The tepid liquid only diminished his mood further. He wiped his face on a hand towel.

When Lily touched his arm, he grew rigid. He breathed shallowly, unwilling to let her rose-petal scent envelop him. Hoarse, he asked, “And what were your conclusions?”

Tell me we can find a way to thwart Chatterley. Tell me you’ll leave with me. Tell me…

“That we should take advantage of every moment we have left.”

Tears stung his eyes. He shut them and swallowed hard at the thick feeling in his throat. Leisurely, Lily trailed her fingers over his thin linen shirt to the skin left bare near his elbow. Her touch felt like a stroke of lightning. His breath hitched, but he didn’t pull away.

With the tips of her fingers, she traced the shadow of veins from his elbow to his hand. At the sensitive skin of his wrist, her touch tingled. As she traced the lines of his palms, gooseflesh rose on his arms. His fingertips ached to touch her. He didn’t dare move.

Softly, she pressed a kiss to his bare elbow. Then another, lower. He bit back a groan, afraid to encourage her. The touch of her lips felt like warm silk. She kissed the inside of his wrist, the edge of her tongue teasing him.

“Do you concur?” she asked, her voice thick with desire.

Adam didn’t answer. He couldn’t, not around the thickness in his throat. Prudence demanded but one possible response, and he couldn’t give that.

He couldn’t ask her to stop.

With fingers and lips, Lily continued her slow, sensuous seduction. She grazed her lips over his palm. Without looking away from his face, she kissed each of his fingertips in turn. His hand flexed, cupping her cheek. Zeus, she was beautiful. No one could compare, especially when she looked at him like he were the center of the world and she the moon orbiting him.

He wanted to give her everything.

Her eyes hot, Lily flicked out her tongue to taste his skin. She bit him playfully, her fingers seeking out the buttons on his waistcoat.

This goes too far.

He threaded his fingers into her hair, seeking out the pins keeping it from tumbling around her shoulders. As each soft lock tumbled free, another shred of his resistance eroded. His waistcoat gaped, but she didn’t try to push it from his shoulders. Instead, she gently worked the knot of his cravat free. Her hot gaze stripped him bare.

In seconds, the starched cloth hung to either side of his neck and she tugged his laces wide. The moment she revealed bare skin at his throat, her smile turned devilish. She stood on tiptoe to press her lips to the hollow she found.

He groaned at the contact. The press of her lips, the hot kiss of her tongue made him throb. If ever he should turn her away, it was now. But her touch felt too good. He’d been deprived of it for so long…

As he clamped his hand around her hip, anchoring her next to him, her clever fingers found the folds of his shirt. No longer teasing, she tugged his shirttails free with an urgency that left him breathless as she continued to kiss and nibble along his collarbone. The moment the cloth fluttered around his torso, she slipped her hands beneath to touch his bare skin.

Everywhere she passed, her hands left tingles. Drawing her mouth away from his skin, she made erotic little sounds of approval as she traced his back, his abdomen, his chest. His shirt bunched higher and higher with the sweeps of her hands. She leaned down, her breath fanning the clenched muscles of his abdomen. When she kissed the bottom of his navel, he started to tremble. His cock bobbed, hard and eager for her attention, restrained behind paralyzing layers of cloth. She lifted his shirt, kissing a line up his chest. His quick breath filled his ears. He couldn’t think beyond the need to feel her closer.

At his sternum, she raised her gaze, bunching his shirt near his underarms. With her hair tumbled around her shoulders and her expression so intent, she looked like seduction incarnate. When she slid her tongue over her lower lip, he fought not to capture it with his. Her eyes dark, she leaned her body against his as she lifted on tiptoe. She only reached his chin, her mouth still achingly far away.

This time, his groan was one of surrender. In a harried movement, he stripped away his clothing and tossed it aside. Cupping her cheeks, he leaned forward to join their mouths.

He had never been able to resist her when she set her mind to accomplishing her aims. As he succumbed, he pulled her close, intent on giving her every last shudder of pleasure he’d imagined these past few weeks.

“Lily,” he murmured against her mouth. He reveled in her sweet taste, her hot body against his, her rose-petal scent.

At long last, he was home.

…

Lily felt her name like a caress. Triumphantly, she wrapped her arms around Adam’s shoulders, clutching him to her. She met his questing tongue thrust for thrust. For the moment, the worries of the world dropped away, leaving only the two of them.

It had always been this way between them, their passion burning bright enough to turn away the shadows. After holding herself aloof for so long, nothing felt as good as the moment she melted into his embrace.

Impatient, she plucked at the buttons of his falls. Adam’s hungry response rumbled through his mouth into hers, but before she popped the last button free of its loop, he turned her, pressing her back to him. She rubbed against the bulge prodding her rear, inviting.

“Patience,” he growled in her ear.

She wiggled her hips. “Don’t pretend you can resist me now.”

His arm clamped around her waist, stilling her. “I can’t, but I want to bring you to climax so many times, you’ll beg for me to stop and take my fill.”

Her knees weakened. Heat throbbed between her legs. Breathless, she teased, “Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.”

He grazed his teeth along her ear. “I never do.”

His free hand slid around her to cup her breast. She gasped, letting her head fall back against his shoulder as she strove to be quiet. He brushed his thumb along the lower edge of her breast. Even through layers of cloth, the touch ignited her. Her breasts ached. When he trailed his fingers higher, he found the hard peak of her nipple and teased it.

She bit her lip hard, muffling her gasp. Restless, she rocked back against his hips. His arm tightened around her and he nuzzled her neck.

“Zeus, Lily. You feel so good against me.”

The rasp of his voice sent shivers of desire coursing through her.

“It’s been too damned long…” He pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive skin under her ear.

Lily moaned. “Then move your clever fingers down an inch and undo the tie on my dress.”

He chuckled against her skin, adding to the overwhelming layers of sensation evoked by his mouth and hands. His free hand uncurled from her waist to grip her other breast. He rolled both stiff nipples between his thumb and forefinger. The cloth rasped against the sensitive skin.

“I want to savor every moment with you.”

“You’re torturing me.” She bit her lip.

Another press of his mouth to her neck, this time accompanied by the intoxicating swirl of his tongue. “I’m torturing us both.”

She couldn’t argue with that logic. Ardently, she reached back to graze her fingertips over the buckskin breeches covering his muscular thigh. If he wanted torture, two could play at that game.

Raising one hand, he cupped her chin. She turned her head to meet his kiss, while using her fingers to trace tantalizing patterns up to the erection thrusting against her. Their lips battled, their tongues dueled for supremacy as they stoked their passion higher. Achingly slowly, his free hand pulled at the tie to her placket-front dress.

At long last, the sides gaped. He chased them with his hands. The loss of the thin fabric made her whimper, aching for more. Her hard stays and thin chemise still posed a barrier between him. She craved him skin to skin.

She broke their kiss. “Adam, please…”

“Not yet,” he whispered in her ear.

She clenched her fingers around his strong thigh.

With hungry sweeps of his hands, he eased the fabric of her dress down her shoulders and over her hips. The muslin caught. One wiggle of her hips freed it to flutter to the floor. Before it kissed the wood, Adam began work on her stays. With every flick of his deft fingers, her anticipation mounted. She panted, arching to give him better access.

Her stays dropped to the floor, the sound muffled by the fabric of her dress. She stepped out of both, toeing off her slippers in the process. Her paper-thin chemise billowed around her to her knees, such little fabric still between them.

When she turned, Adam scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her reverently on the coverlet, blanketing her with his body as he kissed her. At first, the glide of his mouth was gentle. It soon turned voracious as he pressed her into the mattress.

She met him, eager to taste every inch of him again. She splayed her hands over his broad shoulders, feathered them over his chest—and found herself caught. Heat bloomed in her belly as he captured both her wrists in one of his and pinned them above her head.

She was entirely at his mercy and she had never felt so aroused. Her sex throbbed as he slipped a hand between their bodies, seeking out the heat between her legs as he continued to kiss her like a drowning man gulped air. Her chemise bunched higher, chasing cooler air against her heated flesh. She spread her legs wide, welcoming his exploration.

The first touch of his fingers made her shudder and gasp. He devoured the sound with his mouth. When he circled her core with the very tips of his fingers, she arched her hips to meet him. With teasing sweeps of his fingers, he traced her swollen clitoris, making her tremble. When he slid a thick finger into her, she moaned into his mouth.

Taking the sound as encouragement, he retreated and returned with two fingers, stretching her as he rubbed his thumb over her nub. His mouth traveled down over her throat, the fabric shielding her collarbone, to the peak of one breast. He enveloped it, his mouth hot and wet. Mindless, Lily moved against him with single-minded purpose. She needed more. She needed him closer.

The hand at her wrists loosened, then retreated as he shifted his weight. He continued to thrust his fingers into her in long, slow slides, curving to find her most sensitive inner spots. His free hand traveled down to tweak the nipple tenting the fabric of her chemise.

His eyes hot, he lifted his head to murmur, “Take your pleasure, Lily.”

She moaned, unable to form words. She swiveled her hips against him, tossing her head back as she met the thrust of his fingers.

He cursed under his breath. “That’s it, darling. You’re so damned seductive. I’ve never been so hard and ready.”

The erotic words wrapped around her, making her tremble harder as she strained toward her pinnacle.

“I can feel you growing tighter. Zeus, Lily, you feel so hot. I’ve dreamed of this. Dreamed of it every night with that damned door between us, as I’ve taken myself in hand.”

The image of him, naked, fisting his shaft as he thought about her, threw her over the edge. She convulsed as she came.

“Yes, that’s it, love. You’re so damned beautiful.”

More intoxicating words of praise dripped from his lips as he wrung out her orgasm. When she fell limp to the bed, panting, he swept his hands over her thighs and hips, stripping off her stockings before returning to divest her of her chemise. He made a wordless, appreciative sound as he laid her bare. It shivered through her, stoking her arousal anew.

Wedging his way in between her thighs, he lowered himself until his bare chest pressed against hers. His warmth simmered through her. As he joined their mouths, she ran her hands over his muscular back. He couldn’t seem to touch her enough. His palms roamed the expanse of her bare skin, leaving nothing unexplored.

When she trailed her hands lower, seeking out the last button on his breeches, he broke their kiss. With urgent brushes of his lips, he kissed his way down her body. If she’d thought the heat of his mouth through her chemise was erotic, it hadn’t prepared her for the rasp of his tongue, the wet heat, or the suction of his mouth as he worshipped her breasts. Moaning, she dug her fingers into his shoulders to anchor herself. As she lifted her hips against his naked abdomen, a trail of hair teased her sensitive sex. A full-body shiver wracked her and she writhed against him, unable to stop herself. His hands stoked the flame of desire ever higher as they roved her body, his mouth following in their wake. Lower, lower.

The first touch of his tongue drove all thought from her head. Mindlessly, she murmured praises and encouragements. The bundle of nerves at her apex was so sensitive. He took her direction without preamble, running his tongue over it and taking it into his mouth. She fisted her hands in the coverlet, entirely focused on the sensation of his clever tongue. Her body trembled as she climbed inexorably to orgasm. When she reached her pinnacle, she cried out. In the throes she was loud, too loud, but she couldn’t muster the will to care. He didn’t slow his ministrations, continuing to lick and nibble and suck as he again slipped his fingers into her channel. Lily writhed against him, her entire world narrowing to the man so intent on giving her pleasure.

She loved him. Oh, Zeus, did she love him.

And she wanted to see him consumed by pleasure by her hand. Slipping her fingers into his hair, she tugged to draw him up. He held fast, making a satisfied sound against her sex. The vibration made her gasp as another, smaller convulsion swept through her. He turned his gaze to kiss her quivering inner thighs. The rough feel of his stubble was amplified by the sensitive skin.

She tightened her hold on his hair. “Adam.”

He pressed another kiss to her thigh, this time flicking out his tongue. “I made you a promise, didn’t I?”

“You did?”

“I promised to give you pleasure.”

“You did.” It was difficult to think, let alone speak, with the lazy swirls of his tongue over her skin. She tugged on him again. “It would be my pleasure to have you on your back.”

The hot look in his eyes informed her that her torture was nearly finished. With an urgency that left her weak-kneed, he kissed his way up her body to her mouth. He tasted of her, the erotic thrust of his tongue reminding her of the satisfaction he could bestow. Slipping an arm below her, he pressed her to him, his skin feverishly hot as he rolled onto his back.

At last, she was in command. She kissed him deeply as she straddled him. His hands explored her body, finding every sensitive hollow until she squirmed against him. Slowly, she traveled down his body, giving him the same slow treatment he’d done her. As she straddled his thighs, she worked the last button free of his fall. At the same time, she rolled her palm over the enticing bulge trapped behind the cloth. His hands fisted beside his hips as his body grew even more rigid. He groaned under his breath.

She slid farther down his body, stripping away his breeches and boots. Once she deposited them unceremoniously on the floor, she returned to him. She ran her hands over the strong muscles and crisp hairs of his legs. Anticipation seized her as she met his gaze. The need carved into his features matched hers. They hadn’t been unified in body for too long.

She paused near his thick erection to kiss and lick his shaft. Despite the way he gasped beneath the brush of her tongue, his hands threading in her hair, she didn’t have it in her to linger. She wanted to feel as one with him again. He didn’t protest as she pulled away, straddling his hips and reaching between them to position his crown at her entrance.

Swollen and wet from his attention, she slid down easily. He filled her to capacity, stretching her inner muscles around him as she welcomed the surge of his body. With a groan, Adam threw his head back, his throat working as he swallowed. He lifted his hips to meet her until he was buried in her to the hilt.

“You feel even better than I remember,” she whispered.

“Lily,” he groaned, moving against her, apparently out of words.

She smiled, satisfied to render him speechless. Bracing her hands on his chest for leverage, she moved against him. Slowly, at first, but the need of their joining spurred her until the gasps of her breaths and the sound of skin slapping on skin filled her ears. She tightened as she neared orgasm again, her movements frantic as she sought her release, but she didn’t shut her eyes. She curled her fingers into his chest as she watched his face contort with pleasure.

He squeezed his eyes open, his lips parted, desire written plainly in every breath. He released his grip from her hips to slip down between them as he sought out her sensitive nub. She gasped, her rhythm stuttering at the increased pleasure.

“So close. Lily, please. I’m so…”

Her eyes locked with his, she swiveled her hips, wringing out his gasp. His fingers firmed at the apex of her thighs and she tumbled over the edge into release. As he continued to rub, stretching out her orgasm, she thrust mindlessly against him. He joined her with a muffled curse, thrusting deep inside. She tightened her thighs around him, keeping him close as she collapsed onto his chest. She didn’t want to leave him.

She didn’t want him to leave.

She pressed her ear to his chest, listening to the strong thrum of his heartbeat. He encircled her in his arms, every bit as unwilling to let her go. Tears pricked her eyes, but she shut them and curled her face into his damp chest hair. He held her close, his body relaxed and sated. As his warmth seeped into her, she, too, relaxed.

But she couldn’t fall asleep, not with the future looming over them.

“What do we do now?”

Sleepily, Adam threaded his fingers through her hair, holding her against him. “I don’t know, darling. We need more time.”

Would Reid give it to them?