Chapter Twenty-Five
I regret stealing from you.
He’d known, as he was signing over her dowry to Chatterley, that he would live to regret it. He’d felt as though he was signing over his soul. Not returning to that hotel room had been cowardice and agony rolled into one. He regretted every minute of it.
Hell and damnation, he was finished hiding his feelings from her. Tears stung his eyes, mirroring the shine in hers as he met her gaze. He had never wanted to hurt her. He’d spent these past two months dreading that he would hurt her again.
Her bottom lip quivered. He reached out, brushing his thumb along it. “I know I’ve done some horrible things in my life, Lily. Stealing doesn’t begin to describe the atrocities I committed in the name of patriotism. But the thing I regret the most is giving your dowry to that manipulative poltroon.”
Tears welled in her eyes and for the first time, she didn’t try to shield them. She leaned into his hand, swayed toward him. He ought to push her away, to make a clean break to preserve both of them, but he couldn’t. Not when this might be the last conversation he ever had with her. He didn’t want her to remember him as the blackguard who toyed with her heart and tossed her aside.
“I still love you with every inch of my heart. I never stopped.”
Her tears wet his thumb as she sobbed, burrowing her face deeper into his touch. “I love you, too, Adam.”
For a second, he forgot to breathe. “You do?” His voice was rough, raw. It took every ounce of control in his body not to pull her against him and never let her go.
“Of course I do, you fool. I fell in love with you for a reason.”
“I’m not certain I’m the same man now as I was then.” He wiped away her tears but lingered, reluctant to part from her.
“Perhaps not. I’m not the same woman. But the good things I loved about you then still exist in you now. You’re a better man than most people know.”
He shifted, uncomfortable. When he dropped his hand, she reached for him, but he stepped back.
“This is only hurting us both. Chatterley still has me in a noose. I can’t stay here with you. And you won’t leave with me.”
It was a statement, not a question, though part of him still hoped…
She shook her head, her hair curling around her cheek. “My family relies on me for our income. I can’t abandon them.”
He nodded. “If you weren’t such a loyal woman, I probably wouldn’t love you half as much.”
So what now?
The question hung in the air between them, unspoken. He braced himself for her to ask, prepared the answer he must give. Their only choice was to give Chatterley the artifact despite her misgivings. At least that way, he would no longer be able to blackmail her.
“There must be a way to circumvent the evidence Reid has against you.”
He hadn’t expected her to say that. He looked at her sharply. “Lily, it would endanger you. If he…”
She shook her head, stepping closer. When she backed him against the wall, her hand pressed against his chest, she asked, “What proof does Reid have that you—that Adam Darling deserted the navy? You mentioned documents.”
Unable to resist, he laid his hand over hers on his chest. “Chatterley claims to have papers proving my continued existence and desertion. He’s threatened to send them to my former captain should I disobey him.”
The expression in her eyes turned hard and glinting. “If his only proof is a few papers, let’s find them and burn them.”
His breath caught in his throat. “After all you know of my past, you still want to save me from that fate? I am guilty of desertion.”
“Of course I want to save you. I want you here with me, where you belong. I don’t care what your name is. Or your past. I love you. I will do whatever we must to keep you with me. Your family is here now. With me.”
Adam was lost. He felt as though he’d been waiting his entire life to hear those words. And he didn’t want to squander another second.
He pulled her against him, kissing her with a fervency he hadn’t known he possessed. His hands roamed over her body, fitting her to him in the most carnal and elemental way possible. She was his wife. He loved her—and she loved him, despite his bruised and bloody past.
He pulled away, gasping. “I’d love to burn Chatterley’s house to the ground, but we can’t. He’s expecting you to deliver that artifact at midnight. We haven’t got any time to prepare.”
A soft-spoken voice from the corridor professed, “Then it sounds as though you’ll need a distraction.”