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Lynn couldn’t help it. She pressed her hips against Benjamin’s erection, bulging beneath the thin nylon of his athletic pants. His dark eyes, framed by stubby ebony lashes, widened.
“Benjamin?” She had no idea what she was asking. The pulse thrumming hard and fast in her throat made her voice breathy. Her fingers moved restlessly on his back, the slippery material of his windbreaker cool and slick. Heat pooled between her legs and she squirmed to relieve the pressure.
With a groan that was almost a growl, he lowered his head. Her mouth opened in immediate welcome. The kiss started gentle, soft lips and sweeping tongues, but soon the banked embers in her belly roared into open flame. The memories of their incendiary night together, which she’d kept doused under the blanket of motherhood, ignited.
She hooked her calf around his lower leg and rose on tiptoe, trusting in his strength to keep her balanced. Her hands slid up his back and clamped onto his shoulder blades as she fused their mouths, tasting, tempting, teasing. His arms banded around her, one circling her waist, the other under her ass to lift her even closer.
She had no idea how much time passed before he dragged his mouth away and rested his forehead against hers. Their gasping breaths mingled as he eased her down and made sure her feet were planted before loosening his grip. Pressing her palms flat against his chest, she leaned back and stared, dazed, into his heavy-lidded eyes. His heart beat a ragged tattoo under her touch, a drumroll that matched her own.
Passion pressed against the walls of the tiny room like helium in a well-inflated balloon. She had to deflate it before it expanded into more than an impulsive kiss.
She cleared her throat. “Well. That was interesting.” Her fingers still trembled with the aftershocks of desire and she masked it by smoothing the slick material of his jacket.
His eyes narrowed. “Interesting? Is that what you’d call it?”
“Would unexpected be a better word?” She couldn’t let him believe her lusty response was a sign they should resume where they’d left off two years ago. “Apparently we are still attracted to one another, but we aren’t the same people we were that night. I’m a mom. You’re building a new career. Neither of us has time for a relationship. This was just a relapse. Something we needed to get out of our system. Right?”
“Right.” He released her, stepping out of arm’s reach, and she resisted the urge to lean in as if he was magnetized. “So, what are we going to do about Brewster?”
She blinked and struggled to remember what he was talking about. That fiery kiss had burned away her short-term memory. Hiding her wobbling knees by resting against the tall metal shelf at her back, she gripped the wire slats and did her best to re-wrap her cloak of professionalism. “I don’t know yet. I’ll come up with something he can’t refuse and we’ll go from there.”
He nodded. “Okay then.” His hand drifted up, his fingers extended as if he was going to trace them along her jaw, but dropped to his side before he touched her. “Let me know when you do. See you around.”
He opened the door and disappeared, leaving it ajar. Lynn’s breath whooshed out as if he’d taken all the oxygen with him. She sank into a chair boasting two missing casters and balanced gingerly on the seat.
His rapid departure left her dizzy and disoriented. One second she’d been enfolded in his arms, her mouth locked to his. The next, he was gone.
Something important had just happened, but she didn’t know what. Figuring it out would have to wait. Sarah and Cynthie might be wondering where she was.
But first she needed a minute to recover her equilibrium.
Maybe two.
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I’M A MOM. YOU’RE BUILDING a new career.
Lynn’s words reverberated in Benjamin’s bones during the next few days.
What had he been thinking, giving into the impulse to kiss her? Yes, his body had reacted to her embrace, but that didn’t mean his mind shut off.
Except he’d been unable to resist the taste of her, the lush globes of her ass, the soft warmth of her pressed against his hardness. Sensations he relived with his hand around his cock late at night.
She was one hundred percent right. Neither of them had time for a relationship. Especially now he knew about Brewster’s machinations. His redemption would be even harder to achieve with an owner actively working against him. He couldn’t allow himself to be distracted from his goal.
To say nothing of her reminder that she was a parent. That had been better than a bucket of cold water. A relationship with Lynn meant a relationship with her son. And as cute as the kid was, he deserved a better father figure than Benjamin.
By the weekend, she had yet to approach him with any ideas on circumventing Brewster’s plans. He didn’t know whether to be relieved their next encounter was delayed or concerned she hadn’t come up with any solutions yet. The two absolutely lousy games the Canyon Cats played Friday and Saturday did nothing to unravel his tangled thoughts. He wanted to lay most of the blame on the disrupting influence of Valeri Nechayev, but worried his preoccupation with Lynn may have caused him to lose focus. He couldn’t let thoughts of what the skin behind her knees might feel like detour him off his route to the playoffs.
Sunday was Halloween, and Sadie had coerced Benjamin into assisting Jujhar in handing out goodies while she took their children trick-or-treating. “I can’t trust him to hear the door,” she had said, “not while the hockey game is on.” Jujhar’s two favourite teams were playing each other. “Maybe between the two of you at least some kids will get their candy.”
After that first, less awkward than he’d thought it would be dinner, he and Jujhar had kept in touch. Despite Sadie’s warm but mostly wordless encouragement, they had yet to slip completely back into their old friendship. He was determined to do nothing that would jeopardize their reconciliation, which meant that, though he wasn’t feeling the least bit festive after the week he’d had, he couldn’t renege on his promise to Sadie.
He dragged himself off the couch in his barren apartment at the appointed time, and a few minutes later pulled to the curb outside the Malhotra home, parking behind a newer model bright yellow Volkswagen Bug—an ironically cheerful reminder of the other reason he was leery about this evening.
His mother had been invited, too. As she was to all Malhotra family events.
Jujhar had been billeted with Thea and Ron Whitestone for his last year with the Canyon Cats and the three had grown close. While Benjamin had been doing his best to crack the NHL—and failing—Jujhar had taken advantage of the junior league’s excellent educational incentives and gone to the local university. There he had met Sadie, and instead of returning to Surrey where he’d grown up, they’d married and built a life in Prince George, with Thea and Ron as surrogate grandparents to their children.
He was a much better son than Benjamin.
Swallowing down his jealousy, he clasped the bag containing the full-sized chocolate bars he’d brought for the kids, and headed up the path to the front porch. Three jack-o-lanterns with misshapen eyes and square teeth rested on the stoop, candles flickering inside their hollowed-out skulls. He drew a deep breath, rolled his shoulders, and let himself in.
Toeing off his shoes, he draped his coat over the newel post and followed the sounds of playful growls, whining protests, and raised voices down the hall.
No one noticed him, not even Barney, who had a swatch of black and teal material clenched in his jaws and was in a tug of war with Eli. Some watchdog you are. He stood in the entry leading to the open plan kitchen and family room and surveyed the chaos.
Chaos might be too harsh a word. The confusion wasn’t much worse than the locker room after a practice. But compared to the stillness and silence of his own single bedroom apartment, it was overwhelming.
Jujhar stepped in to end the battle between Eli and Barney, freeing what turned out to be a hockey jersey from the puppy’s maw and helping his son don it over the shoulder pads he already wore. Sadie soothed Ella, tearful for an unknown-to-Benjamin reason, as she set a princess tiara on the little girl’s head. Elaine stood next to them, proclaiming they would miss all the good treats if they didn’t go soon, wearing a one-piece navy-blue snowsuit with round circles and stars sewn on it and holding a snowmobile helmet under her arm. An astronaut, he presumed. In the corner of the sofa, watching it all with a tender, amused expression, was his mother.
Despite the tears and insanity, it was a welcome, homey scene. And it made Benjamin’s chest ache so hard he had to rub his fist on his breastbone to catch his breath.
Thea saw him before the others. “Benjamin!” She sprang from the couch and hurried forward. “It’s so good to see you.” Her quick hug left him wishing for the courage to gather her in for another squeeze but he let her go.
“You, too, Mom.” His Auntie Janet had suffered complications after her hip surgery and his mother’s planned two-week stay had extended to almost two months. She’d only arrived home Friday and he’d used the Canyon Cats games as an excuse to avoid her a little longer. She’d said she’d understood in her calm practical voice, which had, perversely, irritated him. She should have berated him for not making time to see her. He deserved her condemnation, not her tolerance.
For so many reasons.
He intended to change that. He was making his peace with Jujhar, now he had to heal his bond with his mother. He’d spent far too many years away, and while his career might send him across the continent again someday, he wouldn’t waste this opportunity to at least try and be the son she deserved. To make up for cutting short her time with her husband.
“Okay, picture time!” Sadie’s shout interrupted him before he could add to his pathetic greeting. Thea smiled and turned away and frustration gnawed at him. Maybe now wasn’t the best night to make amends, but he should have managed something.
The children bunched by the back door and Sadie snapped photos for posterity, despite Elaine’s scowl and Ella’s red-rimmed eyes. Eli was wearing a jersey from one of the many teams Benjamin had played for, one so big it reached his knees. It was only when the boy turned to follow his sisters out the door that he saw Whitestone stretched from shoulder to shoulder.
He strode forward and stopped him with a gentle hand. “Where did you get the jersey, Eli?”
He looked up with his gap-toothed grin. “I have one from each of your teams. Dad got them for me.” Before he could get over the shock of that, Sadie and Thea ushered the children out the door and it shut with a solid click.
“Thank god. Finally some peace and quiet.” Jujhar dropped into the squashy sofa and lifted the remote to unmute the television, already tuned to the sports channel. The doorbell rang and he groaned.
“I’ll get it.” Benjamin hurried down the hall and opened the door to a motley group of children chanting the age-old refrain. He tossed candy from the bowl waiting on the lowest tread of the stairs into their pillowcases, shut the door, and hurried back to the family room. “How did you get my jerseys?”
“Hmmm?” Jujhar remained focused on the screen.
“How did you get my jerseys?” Only top names like Crosby and McDavid and Petterson had memorabilia widely available.
“Ordered them online from the team stores.” Jujhar didn’t take his attention from the play. When the doorbell rang again and he didn’t move, Benjamin realized Sadie hadn’t been exaggerating. He went to answer it and was kept at the entrance through several groups of children.
His thoughts whirled. Jujhar had gone to significant trouble to attain his jerseys. It was a show of support he hadn’t expected. And the fact that Eli wanted to go as Benjamin for Halloween was even more touching. Or dismaying. He wasn’t sure which.
The horn for the first period sounded and Jujhar followed its echo down the hall to join Benjamin at the front door. The parade of kids had been so steady he hadn’t bothered to go back to the family room, instead taking up residence on the stairs leading to the second floor.
“Hey, man. I’m supposed to be doing this.” He nudged Benjamin over and took a seat on the tread next to him. “Don’t tell Sadie.”
“I think she knows.” Jujhar grinned at his dry tone. “It’s okay. I’m enjoying it.” That wasn’t a lie. Seeing the kids, especially the tiny ones, in costume warmed a long-ignored corner of his heart.
Jujhar answered the next knock. After distributing the candy, he closed the door on the bitter October night and Benjamin asked something that had been niggling at him for a while. “Did you ever imagine a life like this when we were playing hockey together? A wife, kids, in-laws?”
Jujhar laughed. “Of course not. Then I grew up. Don’t get me wrong—there are days I want to escape to the mountains and never come back. But they are far outnumbered by the days I can’t believe how lucky I am.”
Women had come and gone in Benjamin’s life. Once or twice he’d thought he might be in love, but the moment the subject of children came up he’d run the other way. His dad had been an amazing father and he knew he’d never be able to live up to that example. Especially since he hadn’t even managed to be a half-decent son, even before that last, devastating phone call.
But not wanting kids didn’t mean he wanted to spend his life alone, and the older he got the stronger his urge to find someone to share his life with. Someone who shared his intention never to have children.
How ironic he was now obsessing over a woman who was already a mother.
Lynn had felt exactly right in his arms. And not just that—he’d found something in her embrace, something he thought he’d lost long ago. Not that he could put a label on it. But something had felt different.
Then she’d reminded him he’d been kissing a mother and his heart had almost stopped. He’d fled as soon as he could. Which was probably why she hadn’t spoken with him since. She’d seen his panic and didn’t want him anywhere near her son.
As he and Jujhar took turns answering the door for the rest of the evening, he reflected on the brief time he’d been responsible for Oscar a few weeks ago. Lynn’s frantic reaction dimmed the memory slightly but wasn’t enough to cancel out his joy at introducing the baby to skating. Simpson and the rest of the players had laughed and joked with the boy and been extra careful around him. He wondered if they had all been remembering similar times of camaraderie and fellowship with their fathers, like he had.
One thing was certain. If he wanted to explore his attraction to Lynn, he had to be absolutely sure he was ready to welcome Oscar into his life, too. There wasn’t one without the other.