Chapter Six

 

 

Halfway through their set that night—after a grueling four hours of rehearsal—Tess sang one of Sophie’s songs. As a prologue, Aaron had set the scene by giving the gist of the storyline behind the musical score of Cold War, Hot Love.

Dressed in a short, low-cut sequined purple tunic over glittery black and silver leggings, Tess perched on a bar stool behind the stand-up mic. As Aaron played the introductory measures, she adopted Sophie’s persona.

Sophie, assigned by her London newspaper to conduct human-interest interviews of Olympic athletes during the Summer Games of 1976, meets the young American swimmer, a contemporary of hers. She’s drawn to his dedication and trim, muscle-bound physique. However, she also finds herself attracted to an older Muscovite, the coach of the Russian water polo team, the brother of a high official in the Soviet Communist Party, one of the richest and most powerful men in Russia. At the heart of her dilemma is a fateful choice she must make: go her own way or link up with one of these men. And if she allows love and lust to govern her decision, which of the two men is she most suited?

Her ballad, “You Are What You Choose to Be”, was a lyrical, melodic reminder of the choices that everyone makes at important crossroads in one’s life, and both the intended and unintended consequences of those choices. It was clear to Tess the double meaning of this song, and she sang it with more emotion than she had planned.

The Horizon Lounge was filled to capacity and the audience demonstrated their approval of the song, and Tess’ interpretation, with hearty applause. As she slipped off the stool and sketched a small curtsy, she noticed a newcomer who’d taken a seat with a male escort at the lounge’s bar. The young woman’s face looked familiar, but Tess couldn’t place her right away.

Without missing a beat, Tess swept an arm toward Aaron, sitting behind the piano and basking in the applause. He rose to take the composer’s bow with a beaming smile and a hint of surprise on his handsome face. Tess clapped along with the rest of the audience, a sincere tribute to the creator of the music they apparently loved. At that moment Tess knew it.

Aaron had a hit!

Now, if only the right people loved the song—and the musical in its entirety—the La Jolla performances might earn him a touring contract.

Maybe—and this was a long shot—even a trip to Broadway.

Just as she and Aaron completed the last song of the set, the duet between Sophie and Hal, the American swimmer, it struck her. She knew where she’d seen the young woman at the bar before. While Tess stood beside Aaron and acknowledged their applause with a hug, she leaned into him and whispered into his ear.

“God, Skin, these songs are gorgeous. Whatever inspired you?” Skin’s curse, as he called his rosy flush, consumed his neck and spread to his cheeks.

“You don’t know?”

Suddenly, there wasn’t time to find out. People swamped them, clamoring for their attention, wanting to shake hands, comment on the set, even thank them for their show.

In the back of her mind ran the memory loop at Porter’s night club. Then, the young woman at the bar wasn’t a brunette, like she was now.

Damn! What was she doing on this cruise ship? It didn’t make sense. Maybe it wasn’t that curvy blond in Porter’s club.

While most of the audience filed out, the older ones headed for their cabins—it was midnight, after all—and the younger ones to the Sky High Club, uppermost in the bow. Several people stopped to buy Tess’ and Aaron’s assortment of CDs in the public corridor just outside the lounge, where Sherry again manned the table. A few regulars returned to have their CDs autographed. Tess smiled and chatted with the autograph seekers, meanwhile keeping a peripheral fix on the young brunette. Still doubting herself about the woman’s identity, Tess was willing to chalk it up to a striking resemblance. That is, until she saw the brunette swivel in her seat, look directly at her and smirk.

That smirk! Tess instantly recognized and placed it. The curvy blonde that night in Porter’s club now sported a long, brunette wig, eyeglasses and a conservatively styled dress. Her male escort, also in his twenties, wore nondescript dressy-casual slacks and sport coat. Tess had never seen him before.

What had Porter said about that curvy blonde? She was just another broad looking for a job. Maybe he hadn’t meant blow job, after all. Maybe her job was keeping an eye on Tess and Aaron and reporting back to Porter any evidence of cheating on Tess’ part. There was no other explanation for that woman being on board. The realization of what Porter had done slowly penetrated her mind. Her emotional reaction even slower. Then her emotions erupted—a tumultuous stew. Her heart pounded, her skull tingled, her jaw clenched. Her nails made gouges in her palms. With effort, she composed herself by taking deep breaths and exhaling them ever so slowly.

When the last passenger left the edge of the lounge’s stage, Tess grabbed her music satchel and matching sequined jacket. Aaron still sat at the baby grand, making notes on his music sheets. She slid in beside him on the piano bench.

“It went over very well. You must be over the moon.” She patted his shoulder, aware that the two—what were they, private investigators?—spies were watching their every move. In reply, Aaron dragged his eyes off his score, leaned over and gave her a dry peck on the cheek.

“Thanks to you. Need to change the tempo a bit on that duet, but you nailed it, Red. That ballad—you sang it with your soul. You hit all the right notes, the nuances, the dynamics…everything. Like an angel. I swear you’re born to sing Sophie’s role.”

In appreciation, Tess squeezed his arm and leaned into his shoulder. She plastered on a smile and glued her eyes on the propped up music sheets, as if pointing out certain measures.

“They loved all your songs. And lyrics, too. Aaron, I could tell by their facial expressions that they were all listening intently. Not just looking at us but really listening.”

Aaron’s reserved smile, she knew, reflected his perfectionism. He was holding back, refusing to celebrate just yet, wanting to get every word and note just right before exposing his work of art to a larger, more critical audience.

“Well, it needs some work…” He protested, glancing at the musical score on the piano stand. Still, one hand found her knee and squeezed it gently. His eyes traveled up and down her body, chidingly. “What’s this outfit? From Las Vegas A-go-go?”

“Ha, you wouldn’t know chic if it danced on your lap,” she shot back, conjuring up an image that unexpectedly aroused her.

His eyes changed, too, but he grinned and stifled a yawn. It was past midnight and this long, long day was finally over.

“Well, it might look like a disco queen’s discard—” she punched his arm and nearly pushed him off the bench they shared—“hey, just kidding! It looks good on you.” He brought his head to rest on hers and lowered his voice. “Everything looks good on you.”

She pushed against him. “You say that because you want me to play Sophie in your musical. That’d mean rehearse all day and do my club routine at night. That sounds like loads of fun.”

“So quit your club gig.” His eyes challenged her and she looked away.

“I’m the headliner, Skin. Not so easy to walk away from,” she said, “Also, Porter wants me to keep doing the show.”

Muttering under his breath, Aaron began gathering all his sheet music together. “Whatever, Red. Do what you have to do. I have to admit, I’m encouraged by tonight’s reception. But I’m beat. Let’s hit the sack.”

Tess glanced over at the couple at the bar. She couldn’t be seen going into the same cabin as Aaron. The report back to Porter would send him into a rage, and that’d be the end to her wedding plans. And her get-rich scheme.

“Listen,” she said, bending her head near Aaron’s, “I’m tired, too, but we can’t be seen together tonight. I’ll explain later. You’re in worse shape than I am, so go back to the cabin. I’ll come down later.”

He frowned. “Where’re you going? It’s late. You shouldn’t be wandering around the ship by yourself. You read the article about young women getting raped on board cruise ships.”

“They were out of their skulls drunk. I don’t intend to drink…” She had an idea. “Look, the big outdoor screen up on the Sun Deck. They’re having marathon movie night. I’ll go up and watch for awhile, then come down to the cabin.”

Clearly, Aaron didn’t like her idea. “What’s going on, Red? Are you meeting somebody up there?”

She scowled and slapped his arm. “God, no! How can you even think that?”

Standing up, hurt by his insinuation, but realizing she’d just been handed an excuse, she lashed out loudly enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear. “Good night! See you in the morning—if you’re lucky!”

In a huff, she grabbed her jacket and satchel and strode to the nearest exit door. She didn’t glance at the couple at the bar for fear they’d become suspicious.

Although the night air was balmy, the breeze was cooler than the ship’s interior. The chaise lounges on the Sun Deck, six decks above, were already filled; at least sixty passengers lifted their eyes to the gigantic, outdoor, three-hundred square-foot screen at mid ship. One semi-circular bar remained open, dispensing bags of popcorn and drinks. Blankets were also available for the taking.

Seizing a blanket from the neat stack, Tess found a chaise at the far side of the deck, next to a post which blocked part of her view of the screen. She didn’t mind, for she’d come to think and ponder a solution to her new problem. What was she going to do about Porter’s hired guns? Well, maybe not guns, but certainly spies. She couldn’t avoid going to her and Aaron’s cabin. As soon as Porter discovered they shared a cabin, he’d think the worst, of course. Since their engagement party, Porter had wanted her to stop seeing Aaron. Something had happened at that party to make Porter resent Aaron’s influence on Tess. She wished she knew what.

Sure enough, just as she eased down and covered herself with the blanket, the brunette appeared, minus her male companion—who was probably following Aaron to his cabin. Pretending not to notice, Tess made a show of relaxing back, her eyes raised to the screen. Speakers all around the deck broadcast the film’s audio, which was exceptionally loud since this was the latest James Bond action movie. The film’s content bounced off Tess’ consciousness as she pondered the dilemma she found herself in.

Damn! What was she going to do? Try to find another cabin? The ship was booked, especially the cheaper staterooms, so she didn’t have a ghost of a chance. Unless she wanted to pay a thousand bucks for a balcony-stateroom. Still, one-thousand might save her one-million.

Inasmuch as her anger at Porter overrode her fear, she could barely think straight. Throw in a little guilt—which she couldn’t understand because she and Aaron hadn’t so much as kissed each other, much less done the horizontal nasty! The nerve of Porter, assuming that she and Aaron had a “friends with benefits” kind of arrangement. Not that Tess hadn’t given such an arrangement more than a passing thought. Cheating on a loved one was a line she’d never wanted to cross, but could Porter be considered a loved one? He had to be if she was marrying him!

In fact, ever since their first date, Tess had never strayed, although she’d had plenty of opportunities. After each club show, she’d found at least one or two business cards with an invitation scrawled on the back, placed on her dressing table by an obliging, well-tipped waiter. She hadn’t minded—that sort of thing came with the territory—but she’d torn up each one and dropped the pieces into her trash basket, like so much other Hollywood detritus. Male horndogs were all part of the entertainment scene.

Minutes later, her eyelids began to droop and she fought to stay awake. She wasn’t about to spend the night on a Sun Deck chaise, huddled under a blanket like some pathetic homeless person…not even for Porter’s peace of mind. Not even for one million dollars!

Her eyelids drooped again. When she awoke with a start and looked around, the brunette was gone. At some point during the film, she’d taken off. Tess checked her watch and decided to give herself ten more minutes. Then, as she was about to push herself up, Aaron appeared at her side.

“Move over. We have to talk,” he said, then promptly straddled the chaise and eased himself down behind her, his head plopping back on the headrest.

He’d apparently returned to their cabin and changed into black sweat pants and a long-sleeved gray t-shirt. Tess swung her legs to the side and twisted around to face him. Lowering her voice so others wouldn’t be disturbed, she rested her hands on both of his legs and leaned toward him.

“Did that guy from the bar follow you to the cabin?”

“Oh yeah. He waited there for at least fifteen minutes. I know because I looked out when I put out the breakfast order. He was about twenty feet down the hall, pretending to swipe his card. I nodded at him, just to let him know I saw him. Next time I looked, he was gone. So, Red, what’s going on? I was worried about you. I don’t like your being up here by yourself. Is that guy bothering you?”

“The girl he was with—the brunette with long hair—well, she followed me here. I recognized her, Aaron. She was in Porter’s club the last night I sang and she went up to his office afterward. I asked him later about her—she was a blonde then. Short, curly blonde hair. Wore sexy clothes. Porter said she was there for a job. I thought, oh yeah, know what kind of job he means.” She made a crude gesture with her right fist. “Now I’m thinking, maybe he wasn’t lying. I think he hired her and her partner…to spy on us.”

Aaron exploded with a short laugh. “You gotta be kidding!” A cocktail waitress popped by to take an order, but Aaron waved her away. “Y’know, it’s something that old bastard would do. Hey, why’ve you stopped calling me Skin all of a sudden?”

Frowning, Tess wasn’t to be distracted by his question. “They’re private detectives sent by Porter. I just know it. That just burns my butt! He doesn’t trust me…” She was going to add, “…with you,” but stopped herself.

Aaron scanned the deck. “Looks like the coast is clear. I think they’ve given up for the night. Y’know, Red, maybe the old codger’s looking for a way out. Have you considered that? If so, how does that make you feel?”

“I’ve given Porter no reason to doubt my loyalty.”

“It’s not your loyalty he doubts. It’s me.”

That remark made her frown deepen to a witch’s scowl. Her eyes flicked to Aaron’s crotch as he widened his open legs and sat back. She darted her gaze away. Sure, temptation stared her in the face on several levels, but she wasn’t going to surrender to it. Not at the cost of a million dollars or more. There was too damned much at stake. Financial security for the rest of her life. Total independence and control of her life. She’d never have to worry again whether she’d have a home, food, clothes…

Her voice softened. “Aaron, I’ve never crossed the line with you, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know that. Every part of my anatomy knows that.” His voice had a tinge of huskiness, and his words bothered her. Was he just asserting his masculinity and playing the stereotype of single guy on the make? With Aaron, she could never be sure.

He leaned back. “C’mon, chill out. They’re gone, gave up for the night. Sit back here and relax. I just wanna sleep—so do you, I bet. Here we are, hiding out—” he looked up at the sky—“under the stars. Actually, not a bad place to hide. Better than the walk-in closet I hid in one time when the chick’s boyfriend—Well, that’s another story.”

“Don’t think I want to hear it, thanks anyway,” she remarked drolly.

Caught up in Aaron’s wistful mood, gradually letting go of the fear that constricted her chest, Tess kept an eye on the bar. If the brunette returned, she was done for. Nevertheless, obeying some subconscious need of hers, Tess backed up into Aaron’s chest. Her rump nestled against his groin, her thighs bracketed by his muscular ones. She covered them both with the blanket and finally leaned back into his chest and belly. Exhaling, she lolled her head and rested it against the crook of his neck. She caught a whiff of cologne.

“Old Spice, Aaron? You’re old-fashioned to the core, aren’t you?”

“Guess I am. I prefer the word traditional. The last traditional male under forty in L.A. County.” They chuckled together.

“And a devout Episcopalian, still?”

“Not so devout, but trying to do the right thing. Does that make me hopelessly outdated and old-fashioned in your eyes?”

“Heavens, no. It makes you my hero.”

Minutes passed while they sat, sandwiched together, in companionable silence. Then again, her dilemma resurfaced as a long-buried memory returned unbidden and unwanted. One night long ago, to punish a troubled, rebellious pre-teen, her foster parents had locked her outside in March. Even today, March was a difficult month to get through. Mack was spending the night at the Petersons, his new refuge, so she’d had no one to save her. To keep herself from freezing, Tess had spent half the night slapping her bare arms and jogging around the back yard until, finally, too exhausted to move, the tears already dried on her face, she’d collapsed on the back porch. The next two weeks, she’d spent in the hospital, battling pneumonia. And facing once again the uncertainty of a new foster family.

Burying herself more deeply into Aaron’s warm body, Tess fought off the tears forming in the back of her eyes. Her foster family hadn’t liked or trusted her—had called her a slut—but their cruelty had finally liberated her and Mack. Their next foster family, the Rodriguezes, were poor people but very kind. The Petersons had stepped forward, but were turned down because they hadn’t established permanent residency status yet.

Stupid, misguided bureaucrats! She hated them all! If Tess ever had a child—the very thought struck fear in her heart—she’d never allow anyone to mistreat him or her. She’d kill anyone who tried to abuse that child.

“I’m so sorry, Aaron, to drag you into this stupid, sordid business.”

His breath played along the right side of her face. The warm kiss he planted on her temple recalled their teenage years, when their short-lived romance had sparked and then was crushed.

“Rubbish, Tess. This is the most fun I’ve had in months and months. I come out of my man-cave, link up with you and all kinds of excitement happens.” His strong arms enveloped her waist, pulling her up closer against him. “Imagine, being spied on. Poor ol’ Porter must be losing his grip. Too bad those two are PIs instead of producers.”

She couldn’t help but smile at the memory of that night’s show. “I love your play. I’m no critic, but I think this one has real potential. That ballad, ‘You Are What You Choose to Be’, is truly lovely…inspirational…stirring…”

That praise earned her a squeeze and another warm kiss on the temple. Her heart began to race and she nearly whipped her head up and around for a kiss on the mouth. She knew how the teenaged Aaron could kiss—not bad for a nineteen year-old—but she’d never locked lips in a passionate embrace with the thirty-two year-old version. She wondered what it would be like to make love with him.

In all seriousness, she asked him, “Would you ever consider a strictly friends-with-benefits arrangement? It would have to be secret, of course.”

She felt his chest rise and fall, could sense his pulse speed up and his mind churn with all the possible consequences. Aaron grew very still and she grew very aware of his hard groin nudged against her rump. He shifted a little in his seat.

“You mean an extramarital affair? You married and I’m your boy-toy?”

“It wouldn’t be like that, Aaron. It’d mean more, of course…and-and I’d see you more often. I’d really like that.”

She heard him exhale a puff of air and felt him stiffen. Even his jaw, nestled against her head, tightened. Oh God, she’d offended him.

“You’d have sex with me just to see me?” His tone turned derisive. “Like, lunch followed by some quick humping. Then scoot off to meet Porter for dinner?”

“I don’t mean it that way. I mean, I wanna see you more often. I’ve missed you so much, especially these past six months. Since my engagement party.”

“Like, ‘Porter, I’ve missed you so much’? Or is this sincere, true-to-your-soul Tess talking?”

“Real me talking. I know I sound like some shallow airhead but it’s true. I’ve missed you a lot and I don’t know how else to say it. I want you in my life.”

“Sometimes, Red, you can’t always have what you want. You’re about to marry that-that shady sonuvabitch.”

Her breathing hitched. “Aaron, what happened at the engagement party?”

He was silent a long time, at least half a minute. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Now who’s not being sincere?”

The warm breath he blew out feathered her cheek as she half-turned to him. “Well, bloody damn.” He was chewing his upper lip, then stopped. “Porter caught me staring at you. He put two and two together. Then he went up to Mac and told him to convey a message. A threat, actually.”

“To Mac, not you, face to face? What did he say?”

“Just a guy thing, Tess. Leave it alone.”

“Dammit, Aaron, I want to know.”

His sigh was more a gush of vexation. “He told Mac to let me know if I didn’t get out of your life, he’d have my fingers broken.”

“Wh-what? He said that? Was he joking?”

“Mac didn’t think so. He said to stay away, so I did.”

“But you asked me to go on this cruise anyway? Knowing how Porter felt—how jealous he was?”

“Stupid, huh? I needed a singer and I wanted you. So sue me.” The silence that fell between them fairly crackled with what was left unspoken.

Then the unspoken spilled over. “I love you, Aaron, and I need you in my life if I’m going to…well, go ahead with this marriage. Y’know, tolerate it.”

His arms around her slackened and he leaned back, away from her. As though physical contact with her was too painful. “You love me, huh? You don’t, Tess, not really. You’re so hung up on money, you can’t see straight. You think it’s going to give you everything you didn’t have as a child. You don’t know what you want or how you feel about anything.”

Her insides ached with anguish, the hollow feeling gnawing at her. Aaron was right. She thought money was going to make up for her deprived childhood. But what about emotional deprivation? How could she live without love? Real love?

“I don’t know… Maybe I need money more than anything else. I don’t know…”

“Now, that’s honesty, Tess. Your offer—us? Friends with benefits thing?” He snorted softly into her hair. “God, I can’t believe I’m saying this but here goes. I’m turning you down. You see, Tess, the great thing about a fantasy is the possibility it might some day come true. You’ve been my fantasy girl for a long, long time. I’m so tempted, you have no idea.” He almost growled those last words. “No, where you’re concerned, sweetheart, it’s all or nothing. All or nothing. Take it or leave it.”

Tess closed her eyes and felt the tears seep out of the corners and trickle down her cheeks. Leave it to Aaron to always dream the impossible. Always uncompromising. He’d have sex with a girl who meant nothing to him but her, Tess, practically begging him? Un-freakin’-compromising.

She sniffed back the tears. “All or nothing? Take it or leave it? You call me hard? You’re the hardhearted one.”

“No, baby-doll. It’s all my soft heart can take. I won’t have you stomping on it. Not again. The last time, it took me years to recover.” He kissed her cheek, then wiped her tears away with his thumb.

“Me, stomping on your heart? You left me and went away to school. I moved on. I had to show you that I could make something of myself, too. I had to prove myself, that I wasn’t like my parents. That I wasn’t some cokehead’s pathetic slut of a daughter. I know your family saw me that way. That’s why Mac broke us up. He knew how your family felt and he didn’t want to lose you or them. He worshipped all of you.”

“No, baby, you’ve got it all wrong. They felt—Mac, too—we were too young. You wouldn’t write to me in college and when I came back, you had a boyfriend and-and this show business crowd of friends. My parents, Mac—we were all proud of you and what you’d accomplished. All on your own, too, which is amazing. But you kept me at arm’s length.”

Her tears flowed and her throat burned raw, but she couldn’t help it. Aaron’s validation of her filled her bank of emotions. What he said was basically true. She’d kept him at bay with a parade of boyfriends. Why? To pay him back for leaving her? Both he and Mac left her alone. She shuddered as his fingers wiped and caressed her cheeks.

“For a long time, I hated you. You and Mac. I loved you both so much and you both left me.”

“We had to, Tess. We had to leave to grow up. C’mon, baby. We’re exhausted, in a damned strange mood,” he said, a catch in his voice, “let’s call it a night.”