ALEXANDRA

3.00 P.M.

Alexandra wasn’t surprised when she saw the police car pull up in the driveway.

When Patrik had come home from Hanna’s earlier, he’d been upset. She’d wanted to ask what had happened, but because Patrik didn’t say anything, she’d let it rest. She couldn’t ask about Alice either, or why she’d had Liv’s phone. She hadn’t seen a trace of Bea since Patrik had come home with her the night before. She had taken off early in the morning, and Alexandra had no idea where she was.

Patrik pressed himself against her, and she heard his breathing become more intense.

‘I’m so happy I have you. What did I do to deserve you?’

They observed the two plainclothes police officers getting out of the car and walking up to the front door.

‘If you ever left me, I don’t know where I’d go,’ he continued.

When the police rang the doorbell, Alexandra gripped the kitchen counter convulsively. Patrik let go of her.

‘It’s just a simple interview to rule out suspects. We have nothing to worry about,’ he said, trying to sound convincing. But both of them knew that wasn’t true. She’d already known when they took the DNA samples from Patrik that it was over.

Actually, it had probably ended long ago.

Once again, she tried to shift her focus and consider that the world didn’t revolve around her. She had read that that was the key to living in a relationship where you shared your partner. But the problem wasn’t just that.

She turned on the tap and rinsed her hands. Breathed in the aroma from the herbs.

It still hurt when she thought about the moment when Patrik had first told her about Hanna, even though it was almost thirteen years ago. She remembered it like it was yesterday. They were lying in bed discussing possible names for the baby in Alexandra’s belly. When Alexandra had suggested Karl, Patrik had been forced to tell, because he was already expecting a child with another woman, who by some strange coincidence also wanted to christen her child Karl …

He hadn’t been remorseful or sorry in any way. Instead, it had bubbled out of him, as if he had been longing to be able to tell her. Thoroughly, he described every detail of his feelings for Hanna.

‘I feel so happy just from looking at her, talking to her, breathing in her smell, caressing her soft skin. I’m so in love with her, Alexandra. You’re going to understand when you meet her. It’s growing every day. She makes me feel good.’

In contrast to me? Alexandra had thought. Could she explain it to herself in any other way? Every little word with which he’d described Hanna made Alexandra feel like the opposite. He must have been lacking something in their relationship. She could hardly have had it put to her more black and white.

Why did he become attracted to and fall in love with other women? She didn’t understand that. She had tried to take him to couples’ therapy. Did everything in her power to get him to change. But the only option he had given her was to share him with Hanna.

Patrik opened the door, and she heard the police officers introduce themselves.

It was Hanna’s and Patrik’s fault that she’d had the miscarriage. The grief they caused her. She would never forgive them for that.

The past few days, she had barely had contact with her husband. Even though she understood that it was because of Liv, it felt as though he was distancing himself from her, and she didn’t know what to do about it. It also felt like he had turned more to his mother after what had happened. She didn’t know how much he and Hanna were able to talk to each other about the situation. Just that she and Patrik definitely hadn’t. More like avoided it.

Patrik had had a night shift when Liv was murdered, but what did that say really? Did she really believe him? When he met Liv in secret, he’d also said that he’d been at work, although he was actually having romantic trysts with her.

Now she saw him on the driveway. His head was lowered. Beaten. Grasp all, lose all. She had always been fascinated by proverbs.

Patrik was put in the back seat of the police car. She watched them as they drove out onto the street and disappeared around the bend.

It was probably just a matter of time before they wanted to interview her, too. How could he have put her in this situation? It made her so angry. She tried so hard not to become bitter, but it was difficult. So hellishly difficult. And destructive. But now she was unable to redirect her thoughts. It wasn’t possible to ignore the way things were any longer. It had gone too far.

Even before her mother-in-law was standing beside her, Alexandra knew she was there. She couldn’t remember Eva having ever used a different perfume in all these years. The scent was heavy and mixed with the smell of dust or mothballs or whatever it was. The way it smelt at Bosängen. It was a suffocating aroma that settled in your respiratory passages.

‘He’s not going to be able to support you for all eternity.’

‘Is that really what you’re thinking about right now? I think we have bigger things to worry about than whether I earn money or not.’ Alexandra continued staring out the window. Refused to even glance in her mother-in-law’s direction.

‘There’s nothing to worry about, I’m going to cover for him.’ As if she’d read her thoughts.

Now Alexandra did look at her mother-in-law, trying to focus on that wrinkled face. ‘But you can’t do that, can you?’

‘Do you think I have any choice? You women have been making a mess of all this from the very beginning. I have to clean up after you all the time. It’s a vicious circle that goes on repeating itself in front of my eyes. I hope that you all move up to Bosängen after this, so we can have a little peace and quiet.’

‘I am not setting my foot in Bosängen again.’

Again and again, she’d tried to tell Patrik what his mother was up to. She wanted to name several examples of her loathsome behaviour, but as usual, it was hard to express. It was the subtle things that hurt the most. It was as if Eva’s strategy was to measure out tiny, tiny portions of poison so that no one around would notice, but which when combined were fatal. There was such force in those little comments. But Patrik didn’t understand. He rationalised it as culture clash, linguistic misunderstandings. That is, it was Alexandra who misunderstood. Sometimes, he said that his mother was just a little coarse. But she was anything but coarse. She was a crafty woman who weighed every word carefully before she said anything and set them out like chess pieces that moved one at a time, until soon she wasn’t far off winning the game.

So normally Alexandra chose to take it, swallow it, and stay silent. But after a few days in Eva’s company, it was getting hard to keep her feelings in check. They overflowed and couldn’t be controlled. Every time that happened, she felt terribly bad and regretted it immediately. Ashamed that she couldn’t control herself better.

‘And who’s going to protect you now?’ Alexandra whispered when Eva left the room.