ELLEN

4.10 P.M.

‘Come on!’ Didrik held out his hand. She didn’t like it, but didn’t have the energy to refuse either.

They walked down to the glistening lake. She was struck by how fairy-tale-like and beautiful it was. Almost enchanted. She came down here so rarely. The water frightened her, and she didn’t like swimming. Too many memories floated up to the surface.

‘Make yourself comfortable here, and I’ll get things ready.’

Ellen did as he said and flopped down onto the sand, a little way from the water. She wondered whether she should dip her toes in, but instead burrowed her feet into the warm coarse sand.

Didrik walked back down to her with two collapsible chairs and a parasol.

‘Are you kidding me? Do you always drive around with a beach kit in the car?’ She crawled in under the parasol to get some protection from the sun.

‘No, I just hoped that we’d get to meet up.’

‘Do you have a chandelier with you, too?’ She laughed.

‘Nice that you think it’s fun,’ he said, smiling before he went back up to the car again.

Ellen looked out over the mirror-like lake. The sun was high, and the trees were reflected on the surface of the water, and she saw everything double. It was completely still and tranquil. Only a few birds twittering in the forest behind her and insects buzzing around her. Until the classical music started booming out of the car speakers. Ellen didn’t feel she could ask him to turn it off. Classical music made her so stressed that she wanted to crawl out of her skin.

‘Can you turn it down a little?’ she asked him instead.

‘Maybe you’d rather hear “Last Christmas” by Wham!?’ he called from the car and laughed.

Hilarious, she thought.

She stole a glance at him as he carefully and decoratively set things out and put food on plates. He was so certain in his movements, it was obvious that this was his area. But when he started folding the linen napkins she couldn’t keep from sniggering.

‘Are there seating cards too?’

‘Is this not to the lady’s liking?’

‘Yes, sorry.’ He had really gone all out. ‘This is really nice.’

He uncorked a bottle of white wine and poured a glass. ‘Would you care for a glass of white wine?’

‘Did you bring a refrigerator with you?’ she said as she took the glass and tasted the cold wine.

‘Yes, actually a low-energy wine chiller that runs without power for forty-eight hours.’

Ellen nodded and sipped the wine. She was only a couple of kilometres from home and was already on the island, so she didn’t need to worry about the car. She emptied the glass in one go.

They were small glasses.

Didrik set out carpaccio on golden beets with truffles, pecorino, and roasted pepitas. He told her in detail about all the ingredients. Ellen took a picture of the whole arrangement and made sure to include Didrik’s rear end.

With the Schlaugster at the beach — he thinks he’s going to get laid … she wrote in the message and sent it to Philip. What if Didrik found out that Jimmy had slept over the night before? But she hadn’t promised Didrik anything; they were just going to have a picnic on the beach.

For dessert he gave her homemade chocolate mousse with raspberries he’d picked himself. With every dish, he told her in detail how he’d made it.

It was among the best-tasting meals Ellen had ever had. For the first time in a very long time, she felt that food really tasted good.

‘Wanna share it?’ Didrik took a joint out of his pocket.

She hesitated.

‘Come on.’

It was several years since she’d smoked anything stronger than cigarettes.

There was a beep on Didrik’s phone, and he pulled it out of his pocket. After a few seconds he started laughing. ‘You’re out of your mind.’

‘Me? What do you mean? Who was that?’

Didrik handed the phone over to Ellen.

It was a message from Philip. He had forwarded Ellen’s message, both text and picture.

She was embarrassed and started to laugh, too.

Didrik took two deep drags and gave her the joint. She hesitated a moment, but then took a puff before she gave it back. She coughed. They let it pass between them several times and eventually she took a deep drag, too.

Ellen looked out over the water. ‘Philip is such a pig.’

‘How so?’

‘I think you can answer that yourself?’ She was out on thin ice, now, and had opened herself up for something.

‘Shall we take a swim?’

She looked at him. ‘I don’t swim.’ Even though for once she actually felt like it a little and blamed it on the heat and the dope. ‘Dope is such a gross word, isn’t it?’

‘Come on.’

‘Did you bring a bikini for me, too?’

‘No, Miss Spoilt, but that’s not necessary, is it?’

He pulled off his T-shirt and then his shorts.

Ellen tried not to laugh. Three puffs of that dope was all it took. ‘Dope,’ she said, laughing so she howled. ‘You’re not bad-looking, why do you go and hide yourself behind neckties and tassels and shit?’

‘Tassels? What are you talking about? Come on then,’ he said, pulling her out of the chair.

They stood close to each other; he was breathing heavily and pulled off her top. Undid her bra and shorts. She let it happen.

His face was a few centimetres from hers. When she tried to kiss him, he pulled his head away. What am I doing? she thought, feeling overwhelmed by the moment and the attention.

‘Are you toying with me?’ he asked, pulling down her panties.

Ellen shook her head and bit her lip.

Didrik took her hand and led her out into the lake. It was shallow, and the bottom got muddy as soon as they got a little way out. When the water came up to her waist, Didrik stopped and pressed himself against her.

‘Do you want to fuck?’ he whispered in her ear, kissing her neck as he started to breathe faster.

She knew it was wrong, but she couldn’t say no. Lust overpowered common sense. ‘I can’t promise you anything.’

‘I want to do it slowly,’ he said, lifting Ellen up on his hip and entering her.

Her whole body tingled, and she wrapped her legs around him and joined in the rhythm.

Didrik moaned and increased the tempo. ‘You’re my little whore.’

‘What?’ She pushed him away, but was still on his hip.

‘Sorry, I thought you liked that sort of thing.’

‘What made you think that?’

‘Oh, who cares.’ He continued to moan and thrust.

The water around her made her dizzy, and her mouth felt dry. ‘Stop! I want to get out,’ she said, feeling that the water was getting more and more turbid. She took hold of her necklace and squeezed it hard.

‘Take it easy. Sorry.’ He set her down, but still had a firm hold on her. ‘I shouldn’t have said that, and maybe I shouldn’t have taken you out in the water, that was clumsy of me.’ He tried to kiss her again, but she shoved him away and started towards the shore.

They were far out. The lake felt big and dark. The water was heavy and prevented her from running.

He took hold of her hand, pulled her back, and held onto her hard. ‘Sorry.’ Somehow it felt better. As if he was taking control and she could relax into it.

She was no longer floating free in the water. Didrik continued caressing her. At first, she removed his hand, but he persisted, and at last she gave in. She still felt dizzy, but closed her eyes and let herself be seduced. The whole time, he kept a firm grip on her.

After a while, she relinquished control completely and was thrown into something that felt like a bestial act. He took her to levels she hadn’t experienced before. Intermittently, she was struck by panic and began thrashing around in the water. But he held her. Hard. It was carnal. There was no tenderness between them, just two bodies opening into each other.

When they were exhausted, he carried her out of the water and put her down on the shore.

‘I’ve never been with anyone who came so many times.’ He grinned and lay down beside her. ‘You’re fragile, but at the same time such a wild fucking animal.’

They lay there, completely naked and spent in the sun. Ellen didn’t want to even think about what had just happened. She tried to dismiss thoughts of Jimmy and how she wished he was the one lying beside her, even though this was something completely different. What had just happened was a total release.

‘Do you know how long I’ve dreamt of this?’

Ellen didn’t answer.

‘Since you stepped onto the school bus in first grade.’

‘Are you sure it wasn’t Elsa?’ she said, squinting at him.

‘Yes. It was your temperament — your radiance. I love all the energy in you.’

She tried to ignore that he’d just used the word love.

‘After that, I started hanging out with your brother to get close to you. God, you could get so angry. Do you still get angry like that? Considering what happened out in the water just now, I don’t doubt for a second that you still have it in you.’ He rested his head on his arm and pinched her on the cheek. ‘I’ve never stopped feeling that way about you. I’m always going to protect you.’

‘What do you mean?’ She sat up a little, supporting herself on her elbows.

‘You know what I’m talking about.’

‘What exactly are you talking about, Didrik?’

Then they heard the sound of mopeds.

‘What the fuck.’ Ellen jumped to her feet and pulled the towel around her.