ELLEN

9.10 A.M.

It didn’t take more than a few minutes before Carola appeared out on the Veranda and took a seat across from her. She was in uniform and had put on a little make-up. The mascara was clumpy, and her cheeks were a little too rosy, and you could tell that she wasn’t used to applying make-up.

‘It’s lovely here,’ Carola said, looking out at the palace. Almost as if she was nervous and had just tossed that out to say something. She’ll probably start talking about the weather soon, thought Ellen.

The businesswomen and -men had all left after breakfast. Now, instead, they were surrounded by happy tourists all speaking different languages. They had all reacted when a police officer came in and sat down with Ellen.

‘So what’s happened?’ Ellen asked, stretching.

Carola looked at her with those sympathetic eyes that Ellen couldn’t tolerate. Get to the point, she thought. ‘I understand that you’ve seen the video,’ she said to move things on. ‘What are you doing about it?’

‘It’s terrible.’ It sounded like she meant it.

‘Yeah, or serves me right?’ Ellen closed her eyes briefly. ‘Or what’s that shoptalk among the police — that I got what I deserved?’ She smiled scornfully, even as she struggled to hold back the tears.

‘No, how can you think that. It’s the opposite.’ Carola ordered a cup of tea from the waiter. ‘That was what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve seen the video, and what happened is horrible. Those kids have been a problem for a long time, you already know that. But I want to talk about what happens in the video.’

‘Please.’ Ellen rolled her eyes. She wasn’t interested in a sermon; she understood very well how the video could be perceived.

‘Listen to me. I know what you’re going through, and it’s important that you get yourself out of it before something serious happens.’

Ellen shook her head. She couldn’t believe that she was sitting here talking to Carola about this. ‘It’s not what you think it is …’

‘No, that’s usually how this goes.’ She was speaking in a low voice, as if the Frenchmen beside them would understand what she was saying. ‘You and I don’t know each other, I actually know nothing about you, but I saw what I saw, and I recognise it.’

How carefully did she study the video? Ellen thought, and didn’t want to know what was coming next. She sneaked a glance at her phone. Still not a peep from either Jimmy or Didrik.

‘I’ve been involved in something like it myself. It was some years ago, now — it doesn’t matter when it was. I met a person I really liked. We had a great time, and after a while, we moved in together. Not officially, but more or less. Even though there were quite a few complications between us — but what won’t we do for love?’

Ellen nodded, but didn’t know where Carola was going with all this. She looked out the window and hoped that it would be over soon so they could get back to the case.

‘Like I said, everything was fine at the start, and I was hearing all the time from people that I was the most amazing thing that had happened to my partner, all while shit was being heaped on me at home. After a few months, my friends noticed how dominated I’d become. They told me, but of course, in love as I was, I couldn’t see it myself. My friends wondered why I couldn’t see them any more, why I didn’t come out with them to parties or on trips. I lost contact with many of the people close to me.’

‘Look …’ Ellen felt forced to explain. ‘I’m not going out with him, it was a one-time thing, something that just happened.’

‘A game. But it’s a dangerous game that can get out of control if you don’t stop it in time. At the start, I thought it was fun too. I liked domination, but sometimes, I did things that I couldn’t identify with or account for afterwards. Things I was ashamed of having done.’ She lowered her eyes, as if Ellen might see on her face what she’d done. If it wasn’t for the amount of rouge already on her cheeks, Ellen probably would have noticed her blushing. ‘It was a sort of power game, and I became an awful person: jealous, insecure, until finally it was just us, all the others were gone. It was both physical and mental abuse. Life was hopeless, meaningless. But even so, I continued to hope that everything would be fine, that it was just bad temporarily. But nothing was like it had been in the beginning. Instead, everything just got worse, and it culminated with me attempting suicide.’ Carola looked worn out, as if she was re-experiencing what she had just told.

‘What happened then?’ Ellen was quite moved by what she had just heard, and thought of the bruises she’d seen on Carola.

‘I got dumped for someone else. Do you understand? I got dumped.’ Anger flared up in her face.

‘But wasn’t that good?’ asked Ellen, but realised quickly how cold that sounded.

Carola didn’t reply, and took a sip of her tea. ‘I wasn’t right, I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t good-looking, skinny, smart, or clever enough. I was the weak one, the lesser one. I couldn’t have children and I wasn’t someone you could live out your perfect life with.’

‘I didn’t mean to …’

‘This is exactly what I’m trying to say to you. Get yourself out before it goes too far. What are you worth if you’re left by someone who was already treating you like shit?’ Her eyes darkened.

‘I’m sorry …’

Carola nodded. ‘I’m not looking for sympathy, that wasn’t why I told you. I just want to warn you.’

They both sat silently awhile.

The tough policewoman looked so small and lonely, and without thinking, Ellen placed her hand on Carola’s. She recognised the fear in her eyes. But it wasn’t about Didrik, it was another kind of fear — and resignation — that was somehow familiar.

After a while she took her hand away. ‘How are things now? Are you feeling better?’ she asked, even though she knew it wasn’t the case.

‘It’s over. It will never be us. Never. Well, you saw what happened the other day when I collapsed.’

Ellen nodded and suddenly had a funny impulse to say that everything would be fine, but because she knew they were only empty words, she left it.

‘I’ll just go up to my room and get my bag.’ That was a lie, but she felt a strong desire to get away from the table and all the rattling porcelain. She needed to rinse off her face and think, catch her breath …

‘Did you spend the night here?’ Carola asked with surprise.

Ellen nodded and hoped there wouldn’t be any follow-up questions.

‘I’ll go up with you,’ she said instead.

‘No, there’s no need.’ She wanted to be by herself.

‘Okay, but I’ll come with you — I’m going to TV4 now, anyway, and you too, I assume. Do you have a car? Otherwise I can drive you.’

‘Oh yes, I see. Okay …’

‘They’re doing an interview with me on Crime Scene Sweden, hence the uniform. Maybe we can have lunch afterwards — I have a few work-related things to go over, too.’

Ellen felt cornered.

They took the elevator up to the fourth floor and walked silently through the corridor to Ellen’s room. She waved the key card and opened the door.

Carola went in first. ‘Did you stay here by yourself?’ She glanced at the unmade double bed.

‘Uh, yeah. There were only double rooms available. Excuse me,’ she said, and quickly slipped into the bathroom, closed the door, and locked it. She sat down on the edge of the tub and turned on the tap.

She didn’t actually want to go to work, but she couldn’t go home, either, until she knew that Didrik was gone. She tried not to think about what Carola had told her. It made her reflect on so many things.

‘Is everything okay?’ Carola knocked on the door.

‘Absolutely.’ She pinched her cheeks and tried to get colour into her lifeless face. Filled her lungs with air and unlocked.

Carola was standing right outside the door. Ellen had to make an effort to get past her. She was much too close, and it felt extremely uncomfortable. Especially now, when Carola knew so much about her.

‘Shall we go?’

‘Where’s your bag?’ asked Carola, who refused to move.

Ellen looked around in confusion. ‘No, right. I didn’t have one.’ She scratched her head, and in that moment, Carola took hold of Ellen’s other hand. It happened very quickly. She stepped closer and brushed her other hand along Ellen’s cheek.

Ellen was caught off-guard and froze. She wasn’t that type of girlfriend. She’d always had a hard time with physical affection with others, except with the person she actually loved. She found it difficult with friends who wanted to hug, walk arm in arm, touch each other’s hair, and all the things you did with your girlfriends.

But when Carola took another step closer to her, she realised that this was something quite different. She backed up. ‘Sorry, I think you must have misunderstood me.’

‘No, I’m sorry.’ Carola looked down at the floor. ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’