Chapter 17

The week had been stressful, and Ryka was wrung out. Her emotions were all over the place, and the weight of everything was growing exhausting. Seven and Lux had taken their relationship to the next level, while Ash and Liddick were still at each other’s throats one minute and looking at each other affectionately the next. As for her and Wren? They vacillated between comfortable conversation and heavy argument about what was best for her girls and his pride. It irked her that he’d said he’d give them time to adjust, then just kept right on pushing for Ryka to make a final decision about her pack’s future. In one breath, Wren argued that she shouldn’t make the decision for them, and the next—when it suited his needs—he argued that she, as Phena, should decide their fate. It didn’t work like that, and she knew he was just as frustrated as she was, but the more they argued the more her girls grew unsettled. Their back-and-forth wasn’t helping anyone.

Preparing dinner, her nerves were frayed as she maneuvered the kitchen, trying to avoid Wren’s big body after he’d volunteered to help her while he’d told the rest of the pack to relax. It’d rained the three previous days, so now that the rain had stopped, both his pack and hers were outside enjoying the sun that had finally poked through the clouds and was gifting them a rare, warm fall day.

“What did all that time in the wild teach you? About leading, I mean?”

Wren had been telling her of his past life, when he’d roamed British Columbia with three other Alphas. They’d shirked their responsibilities and had given themselves to their animals.

“It taught me that an Apex is best when his people barely know he exists. He shouldn’t have to throw his weight around or hold it up for people to see. If he’s doing it right, he shouldn’t have to hold it at all. Much like the truth, it’ll defend itself.”

His words irked her, because she knew he was right. Still, she’d been trying to bring the conversation around to the fact that he’d dodged the responsibility he had to his pack for a long time. He had no right to be giving her crap for not forcing her girls into giving him a final decision on staying or not. Hell, he acted like he couldn’t breathe without the knowledge, and it shouldn’t matter right now anyway. The girls were getting really comfortable here. The guys had even taken them to town to buy clothes and other things women needed to survive. The girls had chores now, just like the guys, and things were running fairly smoothly aside from the tension between herself and Wren.

Shit! She pulled the last steak off the grill too late, staring down at the burned meat in disgust. Still, she plopped it onto the foiled cookie sheet with the others and made her way inside. Wren turned off the propane to the grill and hurried to open the door for her.

“Thanks,” she muttered.

Inside, the table was already set, so Ryka circled the table, forking steaks and placing them on plates. For reasons unknown to her, she speared the largest, best cooked steak and settled it on Wren’s plate. When she glanced at him, he smirked at her and then went right back to placing ears of corn on the cob onto each plate.

Serving herself last, she took the empty cookie sheet and set it on the kitchen island. When she turned, Wren was watching her with that calculating look he wore so often when studying her.

“What?”

“I’m not surprised at that,” he jerked his head toward her plate, and Ryka looked down in confusion. “You gave all the best cuts of meat to me and our pack. Kept the worst piece for yourself.”

Her cheeks reddened as she studied the other plates and then her own. “I like my meat a little charred,” she lied. Charred hell, it was almost burnt to an inedible crisp.

“You’ve been doing that a lot since you got here. Sacrificing for them, for me.” He crossed to the table and speared the blackened slab of meat with a fork before crossing to the sink and opening the cupboard beneath to toss the blackened steak in the wastebasket.

“Hey!” Ryka complained. “That’s wasteful!”

Wren just smiled as he crossed to the fridge and pulled open the double doors, taking out a packet of T-bones. “You know, you keep trying to push me away, but little things like this only make me want you more.”

“I don’t need that.” She looked at the pack of steaks in his hands before glancing at the closed cupboard hiding the trash can. “I would have eaten that.”

“It’s your job to care for the pack, but it’s my job to care for you.” He grabbed a knife out of the wooden butcher block on the counter and cut the pack of meat open. “No mate of mine is going to go without for the sake of my pack, and certainly not for my sake.”

He exited the back door while Ryka mulled his words. She hated when he said shit like that because it tethered her wolf to him. Huffing, she pulled a twelve-pack of beer from the fridge and set it on the table before grabbing a couple of bottles of sauce from the door of the fridge. She dug around in the cabinets until she found the salt and pepper, all the while wondering at how Wren now referred to them collectively as a pack and not a pride. They’d been a pride before the girls had arrived, and now they were a pack. She wondered as she worked if he called them a pack just so the girls would feel welcome. If so, it was pretty damn considerate.

By the time she was finished setting the table, Wren was entering the back door with a plate of decadent smelling T-bone. The pack filtered in behind him.

“Smells good, Phena!” Kenna kissed her on the cheek as she passed.

“Yeah,” Ash agreed, walking in front of a clearly smitten Liddick. “I’m starving.”

Ryka took her seat beside Wren’s empty one at the head of the table. The seating arrangement had changed over the week, and after the dust had settled, she’d been placed near the head of the table at Wren’s right. Seven and Lux were now inseparable, as were Ash and Liddick, although Ryka knew they hadn’t yet cemented their relationship. Ash was still wary, but she permitted Liddick’s attention now. Kenna sat between Cason and Jesup, and she adored the attention from both males who were constantly watching over her.

“For my queen,” Wren speared a massive T-bone and settled it on her plate. It took up the whole plate, and her mouth fell open as she stared at it.

Ryka snapped her teeth together, and the pack smiled as they settled into their seats. My queen. He’d been calling her that for the better part of three days, and she didn’t know if she should object or just let it ride. Honestly, the endearment did funny things to her belly and it didn’t really bother her.

“Lux and I bought a game in town. We should play it after dinner.” Seven offered.

Jesup moaned, but Cason clapped his hands once and pointed at Seven, never one to miss an opportunity. “Is it teams or one-on-one?”

Seven eyed the table. “We could do two teams.”

“Yes!” Cason eyed the table. “Boys versus girls! Losers rake the yard!”

Ash snorted. “Bullshit! Losers do dishes for a week.”

Wren smiled as he settled into his seat. “How about losers rake and do dishes for a week?”

“Sold!” Cason clapped his hands again then lifted his fork before stilling, his eyes turning to Seven. “Uhhh, guess I shoulda asked, but what’s the game?”

“It’s fun, and easy. You get a card, and have to get your teammates to guess the word at the top of the card without saying any of the words on the bottom of the card.”

Cason beamed. “You ladies are going down!” Without looking, he snagged a roll off his plate and ripped off a bite, stopping chewing mid-bite when Wren growled.

“First bite without thanks. Cason, you have the prayer.”

Cason’s shoulders slumped, but he bowed his head, swallowed his food, and waited for his pack to follow suit. “Grandfather, thank you for the food before us, the pack beside us, and the love among us. When Wren came back, we thought our pack was whole, and then you gifted us the females. Now. Now, we are whole, and we are grateful. Amen.”

A murmur of “amens” sounded around the table, but Ryka could only choke the word out as emotion clogged her throat. Cason’s prayer rocked her. No one had ever been grateful for her or her girls. Being here now, feeling safe in Wren’s pack and knowing her sisters were happy was…well, it was finally enough, and she wanted to look at him and tell him they were all staying for good. It’s not what a good Phena would do though. A good Phena would look at their situation from all angles, without being selfish and thinking of her own wants. It wasn’t just her girls. She had to think about Wren’s pride too, and whether anyone wanted to admit it, Marill and his pack would be coming for Ryka and the girls.

As she swiped a tear away, Wren noticed and rubbed a hand soothingly over her knuckles with a, “Good prayer, Case. Good prayer.”

The pack ate while conversing in hushed tones. Cason was getting as much detail about the game from Seven as he could, no doubt in hopes of getting a leg up somehow. Ash and Liddick teased Jesup. Kenna was regaling Wren with how Jesup had taken her to the lake and let her pick herbs, and had promised he’d see about tilling an area for a garden next spring. And just like that, happiness settled into Ryka’s bones. Warm and unfamiliar, she embraced it until her heart started racing. Was there harm in absorbing this happiness? Should she fight it?

Wren’s gaze left Kenna’s as she continued to ramble on. When he looked at Ryka, his eyes narrowed and he tensed as if he expected her to jump up and bolt at any second. She was seriously considering it.

Staring at him, Ryka’s heart squeezed at the potential of what she had here with him. She and her girls were warm, fed, and protected. Safe! The word blew across her mind and she shivered with the realization that this was the first time in as long as she could remember that she felt not just safe, but actually content. The worry for her girls that had always plagued her, always gnawed at her incessantly, had finally quieted. Right now, the warm glow of the conversation, the food, the home, the camaraderie, it enveloped her. It felt right. Wren felt right. This felt like home, and she wanted with all of her soul to give them a chance, but she wondered if her wolf was confused. She wondered if she were confused. Was she considering making a bad choice because it was a better option than where she’d come from? Was her wolf pushing her to keep her pack here because she wanted Wren? She wanted Wren! The thought was startling, and suddenly her palms were sweating.

“Do you think we can try?” Wren asked.

Ryka blinked hard, wondering how in the world he knew what she was thinking. Then Kenna leaned around him, begging, “Can we, Phena? Can we try?”

Ryka shook her head, snapping out of her reverie. “Try?”

Wren smiled softly. “Kenna wants to know if we can try vegetables in next year’s garden along with the herbs. I told her the land belongs to my Phena. It’s up to you. Can we try?”

‘The land belongs to my Phena?’ The words warmed something inside her that she hadn’t even realized had grown cold. How was he like this? All other Alphas she’d met ruled with vicious control. Their mates had no say in their reign, and were certainly given no title to the pack territory. But, here was Wren, gifting her with his land, letting her make decisions for the pack that with anyone else would have been his and his alone to make. Her gaze jerked to Lux, Liddick, Cason, and Jesup, but none of them were glaring at her as she’d expected. No, they looked as happy as they’d been before Wren’s declaration.

“Can weeeeee?” Kenna begged.

Ryka smiled and looked at Wren. Her answer, right here, was a big deal. If she agreed, it was a small acquiescence, a tiny promise that they’d be here next year. Licking her lips, she noticed everyone was looking at her. The tension in Lux and Liddick’s frames matched Wren’s. Seven and Kenna’s eyes were imploring, though Ash was giving her a hard stare, that old familiar look that said, “I’m with you, no matter what.”

“If…” She began, then drug her eyes back to Wren. “If it’s okay with Wren, it’s okay with me.”

“Yesssss!” Kenna fist-punched the air, then turned back to her food and began tearing into her steak.

Everyone else seemed to relax, even Cason, who’d been fisting his fork and knife in a white-knuckled grip.

Wren rested his forearms on the table and kept his eyes pinned on Ryka. “And what about you?”

She took a bite of food, taking her time chewing and swallowing before taking a sip of her beer. “What about me?”

He looked down the length of the table and the pack quieted. “Seven’s going to remodel the den with Lux and Jesup’s help. Ash and Liddick are going to look into that burned-out pizza parlor in town, that’s been sitting vacant for the past few years, to see if the pack can’t get a good deal and get it up and running. Kenna’s starting plans for next year’s garden.” He turned to her. “What about you? What do you need? What do you want?”

You. This. Silently, she shook her head. She’d known about Seven and Lux remodeling the den, but this was a first about Ash and Liddick looking into the burned-out pizza parlor they’d passed when they’d gone into town for dinner a few nights back.

“Come on,” Wren prodded, “There must be something I can give you?” He waved his hand down the table. “We can give you that’ll help you adjust to life here, make the transition easier. Give you something to look forward to.”

She felt her ire rise. Agreeing to next year’s garden was a big deal, and here he was pushing her again. She felt her cheeks flush with the desire to snap at him. She didn’t though, because honestly? The only thing she was looking forward to was seeing how far things would go between the two of them. She didn’t put voice to that thought. Seeing her girls truly living for the first time was enough. Enough to keep her arguments at bay, and enough for her to give a small shake of her head. Her girls’ happiness would have to be enough, because she couldn’t afford to throw her heart into the pot. There was too much at stake. Plus, she was the only one who seemed to ever remember that Marill wasn’t done yet. He’d come for them, and it’d be bad for her girls and for Wren’s pride of lions. She had to stay on guard, for everyone’s sake.

Seven’s eyes rounded. “What about your apiary, Phena?”

That piqued Wren’s curiosity. “Apiary?”

“Oooooh, yeah!” Kenna turned to him excitedly. “Phena’s always wanted an apiary. She said when we got settled, if there was space on the property, and we could afford the project, and could meet the registration requirements, she would do it.”

Wren looked at Ryka. “Ok. So, what in the hell is an apiary?”

“It’s a bee yard!” Kenna exclaimed. “Phena wants honey bees!”

“Bees?” Cason was already shaking his head. “No! No way! We are not getting a damn hive of killer African wasps on our territory.” He looked to Wren, eyes round in incredulity. “Tell her no, boss!”

“They’re not wasps,” Ryka offered softly. “There are different types of apiaries. Some for pollination purposes, some for honey production. And honeybees aren’t aggressive. They’re just trying to live their lives and do their jobs, and if they’re left to it, then it’s good for the environment. It’s good for them too, and the fresh honey is good for us. If it’s done right, it’s a win-win. In recent years, there’s been a decline in bee colonies.” She shrugged. “Part of it’s been climate change, some of it’s been changes in agricultural practice, but the end result is that bees are dying off, and they need help.” She peeked at Wren and saw he was beaming at her.

“Well, that settles it.” He turned and pointed at Cason. “You’ll help me and Ryka build the apiary this summer.”

“What?” Cason choked on his beer. “Why me? I hate bees! I said to tell her no!”

Wren winked at him. “That’s why you’ll help.”

Cason threw his hands in the air. “Great! I’m gonna get stung to shit because Phena wants bees.” He looked at her with sad eyes. “Why? Why couldn’t you want a bunny farm or a herd of little goats, or,” he jabbed a finger at her. “A puppy mill! We could start a puppy mill. I’m down with that.”

Wren shook his head. “Honeybees, Cason.”

“Awww, fuck!”

Kenna chewed excitedly before taking a big slurp of soda to wash down her food. She pointed animatedly at Cason. “Goats! Phena wanted a goat farm, too.” She looked at Ryka. “You could do that instead.”

Ryka canted her head, but it was Wren who spoke. “We’ll do both.”

“Both!” Liddick slid down in his chair. “Are you listening to yourselves? We’re lions. Lions and wolves! You think a goat is gonna let us near it? Hell, no! I’m gonna get goat kicked in the nuts.” He paled and cupped his manhood, swallowing hard. “I can feel it already.”

The table erupted into laughter, and Wren took up his fork as the pack resumed eating. When he looked at Ryka and smiled, she hated that she had this war raging inside her. She wanted to relax, like Seven and Kenna. She wanted to give this place, this pride, this Wren Prime, a chance. Yet, she didn’t want the girls at risk. Well, Ash and Kenna. Seven was a done deal now. She could tell by the way Seven and Lux looked at each other. If Ash would accept Liddick, it’d make her choice easier, because then Ryka would only have to worry about herself and Kenna.

She watched Wren out of the corner of her eye. Maybe it was time she asked him about mountain lions and their claiming. She still didn’t know if it was how wolves claimed mates, and she hadn’t asked Seven. Seven had been practically unavailable since she’d been claimed. As a matter of fact, the pack had rarely seen her or Lux since their initial mating. She grinned as happiness for her friend enveloped her, but worry was there too. Could Lux denounce Seven? Was it possible for mountain lions? Wolves mated for life, and Seven should have found out more information before diving in, but what’s done was done.